Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad

Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad

Tactics Tuesdays: Bait Then Subvert

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By: Alek Rolstad

bait then subvertWant a simple way to hook women in? Bait them with something that sounds juicy or provocative… then subvert their expectations.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Today we will discuss hook techniques that will immerse her deeper into the interaction and serve as a transition into any topic.

Curiosity leads to immersion. When she’s immersed, transitions are easier because she’s hooked in. Immersion generates compliance—she will listen to what you say.

Because of the “hooking” nature of these gambits, they work exceptionally well for early game when you don’t yet have a hook and have time for fancier transitions. In these settings, baits can be a shortcut to deliver a transition quickly.

Also, generating curiosity early solidifies your hook post-opening. You stimulate, intrigue, and immerse her. It helps you proceed smoothly.

Of course, you can use baits anytime during the interaction. It keeps the interaction fun and fresh. However, you get the most bang for your buck by adding them early.

Sex Talk Calibration, Pt. 2: How Explicit to Be

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By: Alek Rolstad

sex talk expliticnessThe explicitness of your sex talk is key. Too explicit, and some girls will be turned off. Not explicit enough, however, and some other girls won’t be interested.

Hey all. Last week we covered sex talk calibration given different contexts. You should consider the contextual factors when talking to a girl about sex. Today I would like to discuss how to calibrate how explicit you should and can be when talking about sex.

Today and next week, we will discuss transitioning into sex talk. As you know, sex talk helps with many areas:

  • Stimulates her
  • Sets a sexual frame
  • Conveys attractive personality traits like sexual knowledge and experience (sexual prizing)
  • Diffuses resistance with your set
  • Generates sexual comfort
  • Escalates the vibe

It’s an essential dimension in sex talk calibration. Combining this post with part one will make you a more calibrated sex talker.

Sex Talk Calibration, Pt. 1: Context for Sex Talk

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By: Alek Rolstad

sex talk contextSex talk’s a mighty tool for arousing girls in-field. Nevertheless, get the context wrong and it flops. The context MUST be right for sex talk’s success.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Today and next week, we will discuss transitioning into sex talk. As you know, sex talk helps with many areas:

  • Stimulates her
  • Sets a sexual frame
  • Conveys attractive personality traits like sexual knowledge and experience (sexual prizing)
  • Diffuses resistance with your set
  • Generates sexual comfort
  • Escalates the vibe

The way we talk about sex is to discuss a sexual subject, whether it is a sociological, philosophical, or social-psychological subject linked to sex. It’s not “I want to do this and that to you,” as this would ruin your frame and trigger premature resistance (if not rejections), but instead, we talk about sex as any other interesting subject: you debate and discuss it and share knowledge.

The frame is “this is what I believe, what I know, this is my experience, and it is fascinating. I enjoy discussing this amazing subject with cool people.”

Thus, the overall frame is, “I could make you experience all these things if you are the right girl for me, but I am not saying I necessarily will.” Notice the modality difference between “will/want to do” vs. “may/could do.” For more details, read this post: Sleazy Sex Talk vs. Sexy Sex Talk: What’s the Difference?.

You may also check out this post: Showing Intent Without Showing Your Intentions.

What’s the most challenging aspect with talking about sex? According to my students and me, it is not talking about the topic but getting to where it is comfortable enough to bring up the subject: transitioning into it.

Women find sex topics interesting and stimulating, but it can be tricky to steer the conversation in this direction. Women find discussing sex one of the most intriguing subjects out there.

The problem is that sex talk, even when done correctly, can potentially trigger resistance.

We will discuss resistance to sex talk and how to avoid it through calibration. We’ll cover sex talk calibration, emphasizing transitioning, usually the shakiest phase to maneuver. Once you get comfortable talking about sex, things get much easier, although you may still need some additional focus on calibration.

For those wondering how you transition into sex talk, do not worry. I will share a few words about it and link to posts covering different techniques at the end of this article.

When She Tells You "You're Not My Type"

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By: Alek Rolstad

TEXTIf a girl tells you you’re not her type, then what? Is it a rejection, or is there still hope? Well… it depends on the context – as well as on what you do next.

Hey guys. Today is the final installment of my series on handling tests and frame control. But this does not mean it will be the last time I write about these topics.

Hey guys. Today is the final installment of my series on handling tests and frame control. But this does not mean it will be the last time I write about these topics.

Remember, frame control is the tool we use to handle a girl’s tests when she tests your frame or attempts to grab it.

Initially, I did not intend to write this post, but a comment from a reader made me reflect on social frames.

Carlosirama wrote:

“[…] Also, maybe a stand-alone post with the most common sh** tests and how to respond, along with an explanation. Things like “I have a boyfriend,” “I don't do [BLANK] guys” (whether that’s short or people from a certain race or a younger/older race), "I don't usually do [BLANK], etc.”

These tests are linked to social frames.

Is She Testing You or Resisting You? Telltale Signs

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By: Alek Rolstad

testing or resistingSometimes girls’ tests can look like resistance. Sometimes their resistance can look like tests. How do you tell the difference? With a few telltale signs.

Hey guys and welcome back.

In this post, I resume my series about women’s testing of men they are or could be interested in. If you read all these posts, you will be prepared to handle most women’s tests in most situations. Of course, some tests are so unique that they require an odd solution, but usually, those tests are rare. The knowledge you gain from this series will help you find a solution to the strangest of tests.

Many men tend to confuse when a woman is testing and when she is resisting. Today I will clarify the differences between the two. The quick response to this concern is that it is a non-concern. It doesn’t matter what her motive is. What matters is what she expresses and how you respond. What she is doing or why she is doing it is irrelevant. If she is afraid of the slut label, tackle the issue head-on. If she is concerned about going home with strangers, address that issue. It does not matter if her resistance truly is resistance or a test—your response matters.

Although less likely, tests are camouflaged as resistance. If she is challenging your congruency because she is resisting, tackle it head-on as a test of congruency—even if she is doing so to resist.

For those more advanced who want to delve deeper into the subject, read on.

First, a quick reminder:

  1. Testing is a way for a woman to test or steal your frame. By stealing your frame, she is indirectly testing it. If she grabs your frame, it means your frame is weak.

  1. Resistance expresses a concern. She is worried about certain acts potentially leading to feeling negative emotions, pregnancy, risk of violence, or social shaming. Her concern remains valid until that concern is gone—your job is to handle her fears so they vanish, eliminating her resistance.

Theoretically, this distinction seems clear-cut. But practically, it’s a bit blurry.

Let’s go over why this confusion exists by explaining how resistance can sometimes be a test and vice versa before we learn what you can do about it.

Confrontative Frame Control: When & When Not to Use

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By: Alek Rolstad

confrontative frame controlIt can make sense to directly confront a girl’s frame – sometimes. Yet confront her frame at the wrong times, and all you’ll do is spin your wheels… or worse.

Hey everyone.

Today’s article is a part of my series on frame control and dealing with tests. I’ll continue my discussion of testing, covering two interrelated subjects:

  • What is confrontative frame control? How is it used as a test?

  • When should you use confrontative frame control?

Confrontative frame control directly declines her frame-grab head-on, such as saying, “NO, I will not do that!” or “That is not going to happen” to her request.

You will use aggressive frame control whenever a girl is behaving poorly or trying to test your limits.

No worries, I give examples throughout this post.

If you recall my theoretical post about tests, I mentioned that some women test a guy’s limits to see how much crap he will put up with. A man who accepts bad behavior is usually viewed as a wimp.

When Girls Act Very Forward: Handling the Freak Test

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By: Alek Rolstad

handling the freak testYou just met this girl, but suddenly she’s all over you. Are you really THAT sexy? Don’t get excited yet: it’s only the freak test. Here’s how to handle it.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Today I will continue my series on tests. Previously, we discussed the common jealousy plot test (when girls chat or flirt with other men in front of you) and how to deal with it.

This post covers a different test linked to female attention-seeking behavior. It’s often not recognized as a test, so many fall into its trap. This test can lead to much frustration.

It’s what I call the “freak test.” It tests your reaction to overt sexual moves done by the girl.

It goes like this:

  1. A man starts an interaction with a woman.

  1. She immediately makes an overt sexual move (touches his balls, shows her tits, starts grinding on his dick, says something explicit).

  1. The man mirrors her behavior and responds because he thinks it’s appropriate, and she wants it (and rightfully so, considering her behavior).

  1. She turns cold, blocks his move, or leaves to talk with other men.

  1. The man gets frustrated and tries to persist, only to hit a wall.

He did not pass the test. And we will discuss how to pass it today.

What to Do When Girls Run a Jealousy Plotline on You

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By: Alek Rolstad

handling jealousy plotlinesSometimes you’ll approach girls, only to have them flirt with other guys and try to make you jealous. What do you do? Ignore it… or, pull out the BIG guns.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Last week we discussed handling congruence and compliance tests. We also covered “weird tests” when a girl puts you in tricky catch-22 situations. I went through the more common tests, although some tests are unique and require case studies like in this post.

Today I want to resume my discussion about tests. We will address a common but frustrating test called the jealousy plot test. This test occurs when the girl you are with talks to other guys in front of you, even when you have a good hook going.

I won’t waste time describing the situation. If you have been going out for a while, you likely have experienced it.

This situation is more common during night game and social circle gatherings.

Passing Women’s Tests: Congruence & Compliance Tests

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By: Alek Rolstad

TEXTIn romance, sometimes women will test you. They test to see what kind of man you are… but some of their tests are tough. How do you pass them? With these tactics…

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Today I’ll discuss my go-to methods for handling tests. I will cover my three favorite methods and share examples.

Last week, we went over common reasons women test:

  • For congruence – if you are who you say you are.

  • For compliance – to see how compliant you are to them. If you are too compliant, it signifies they have the full power of the interaction and may use you at will. It can also mean that you are a sucker, not a “real” man.

  • As a challenge – to place you in a challenging situation and see how you react. This test screens for attractive traits.

  • For limits – linked to testing for compliance. They will use rude behavior to see how you respond. Women seeking very dominant males may screen for this character trait.

We will cover these techniques today:

  1. Congruence
  2. Compliance

These techniques can be useful for other tests, too. However, from my experience, they are best suited for the two types listed above. However, there are other situations when they may work. I will give examples later.

The 4 Reasons Girls Test Guys They Like

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By: Alek Rolstad

reasons girls test guysWhy do girls test guys? Tests can derail your courtship with a girl if you don’t respond well. Women test for 4 things; if you know what they are, you know how to pass.

Hi guys, and welcome back.

Today we will discuss handling tests. I won’t dive deep into the basics because we’ve covered that many times before.

Women will test you because they want to know if you are the real deal. It’s that simple.

If you want a refresher or more details, see:

When Women Test Men

Loving the Tests

Why Do Women Test? To Find Dominant Males

In this post, I’ll add more theoretical knowledge and provide a solid framework to help you understand tests. In upcoming posts, I’ll focus more on the practical details of handling tests.