Once you’ve hit it off with a girl in a gay bar, how do you pick
her up? By showing you’re straight, beating her tests – and turning her
on.
Welcome to Part 4 of my series on meeting girls in gay venues. Here are links to the other articles:
In gay bars, you don’t want to be an approach machine. Instead, it’s often best to let girls come to you. Also vital here: your vibe and conversation topics.
Welcome back. This is part 3 in my series on how to meet girls in gay bars. You may read parts 1 and 2 here:
In this post, I will start getting into the whole “how to seduce in a gay club” thing, but keep in mind that this will not be a seduction guide from A to Z.
Most of the usual seduction rules still apply in gay venues. I remember the times I’ve brought skilled seducers into the gay environment, such as when Pablo Garcia visited me a few weeks back and asked me how to work these venues. I usually tell guys to do what they would normally do. Truth is, it doesn’t take much time to figure out the dynamics in these venues. You will not be seducing dudes, you will be seducing bisexual and straight women. It is not that different from what you would usually do.
It is just the environment that changes. In the case of a bar, only the crowd has changed, but you still have to deal with usual “bar vibe” related things. For instance, with clubs, you still have to deal with wildcards, noise, chaos, and all that good stuff.
Overall, things are more or less the same, with the only exception being that big chunks of the crowd will be gay.
So in this post, we will discuss the elements that are unique to the gay environment as they relate to seduction. I will cover the things you will have to keep in mind when hunting in this community.
Basically, I will cover a set of rules. In my next post, I will cover how you can work through each phase of the seduction and cover the elements that are specific to this environment.
Anyway, let us get back on point.
The list of gay bar patrons include a colorful cast of
characters… and 3 varieties of eligible female.
Hey, and welcome to the second post in my series on gaming in the gay environment.
Previously we discussed the different types of gay venues, some of their basic dynamics, and how to handle them. Today we will discuss the different people who attend those venues. Most gay venues tend to be open to everyone, but there are certain types of people you will find here most often. Since these types of venues are niche, it is key to understand the crowd.
I will split this post into two sections, first discussing the girls (who are not gay), then explaining the regular visitors who are part of the LGBT crowd. Basically, in the first section I will cover the people who you’ll seduce, and the other section will be dedicated to the crowd you’ll have to deal with.
Before we begin... the disclaimer:
Disclaimer: If you happen to find an awesome gay club or discover that gay clubs are good places to get laid, please do not tell all of your bros. Truth is, I have seen many great gay venues die because of this. They are something special for a reason, and if too many straight men come over, the vibe will be ruined and the venue will cease to be what it is. I have been hesitant to share the info related to “gay game” for this reason, and I hope you understand and keep this info for yourself.
Part 1 of the “meeting girls in gay bars” series starts off with
venue selection. Namely, the 4 best types of gay bars to meet women at.
Hey, guys. As promised, here is the first post of my series on how to game in gay venues. This will be an introductory post about the gay environment and the different venues out there. I will discuss how to pick the right venues and give some insights into the dynamics of each.
Contents
I will leave the in-depth discussion about all the dos and don’ts pertaining to seduction in these venues to future posts, because I believe an introduction to the gay environment is key. So I’ll start with that.
Also, before I begin, I have to share a disclaimer that I will include in every post in this series. You will quickly understand why I am doing this. Here is it:
Disclaimer: If you happen to find an awesome gay club or discover that gay clubs are good places to get laid, please do not tell of all your bros. Truth is, I have seen many great gay venues die because of this. They are something special for a reason, and if too many straight men come over, the vibe will be ruined and the venue will cease to be what it is. I have been hesitant to share the info related to “gay game” for this reason, and I hope you understand and keep this info for yourself.
It is in your own best interest, too.
Anyway, without further ado, let us get right into it.
Girls have guys read too much into things sometimes. Or even
chase them around. The result? Women can become oversensitive to
“creepy” behavior.
In my first post regarding the lessons I have learned from gaming in the gay environment, a user named Agent asked the following question:
“Hey Alek,
Could you elaborate more on the creepy approaches vs. the good ones? It’s actually very interesting you were in a situation where you could examine the scene from a woman’s point of view. By the way, thank you for your reply in your previous post about approaching in day game! You mentioned very subtle approach signals from girls. I don’t seem to notice any except the very obvious ones. Could you expand here, on the subtle signs? ... Generally, I feel confident to approach when the girl is giving me strong eye contact and/or smiling. This does not happen that much often though.”
To give you some context, this question was posted in a thread in which I covered some dating and seduction lessons I learned from spending time picking up women in LGBT venues. In that post, I briefly mentioned how being approached by gay men in those venues gave me some perspective on how to better calibrate my own approaches to women.
I will start this post by sharing a story of mine, then I’ll discuss a number of things that make an approach good or bad. At the end of this post, I will sum up what makes a good approach.
Sexual tension isn’t just good for turning her on. You can use it
to breeze past walls, resistance, and tests, too.
I know that after my report on sexual tension, I mentioned it would be the last post in the sexual tension series.
That was the original plan, but things – powerful things – that I left out keep popping up in my head. Anyway, here is one of those things.
Today’s topic will be about sexual tension; however, we will discuss another use for it. Primarily we have discussed sexual tension as a tool to make her horny and attracted to you, hopefully leading the interaction toward sex.
This time around, we’ll take a different approach. Instead of focusing on using sexual tension directly to make her horny, we’ll focus on using sexual tension to deal with her “shit” (e.g., resistance and tests), and in turn, make her horny. So today we will basically discuss how the different concepts related to sexual tension can be applied to dealing with her:
Shields (approach shields)
The application of concepts in each case will be more or less similar. However, we will discuss the subtle differences and try to exemplify the process for enhanced understanding. Let us get into it!
You can’t always be talking non-stop with her. So when it’s your
turn to listen to a girl, how do you do so in a seductive way?
After sharing 8 long, detailed articles on sexual tension and closing it all off with an illustrative report, I originally planned to move on to another topic. But apparently – and this was kind of expected – some of you guys brought up some good questions that need answering.
I also stated in my last post on sexual tension that, even though I kind of closed off the project, I would share more insights if something popped up. Well, your good questions have made those “insights” pop up, so thanks again to all of you reading and leaving questions. Your contributions not only make my task as a writer easier, they also ensure my posts actually fit the audience’s desires. Win-win indeed. So thank you again, guys.
A commentator named Mike asked the following question:
“Hey there Alek, really great article. This kind of reports help tremendously much to show sometimes a bit abstract sounding ideas and techniques in an actual motion.
I got a question: could you elaborate a little more on the topic of seductive listening? I'm not sure I understand that concept correctly. You state that just sitting and nodding isn’t sexy at all. But from the next paragraph where you actually describe your seductive listening thing, it basically sounds the same as just listening and nodding to me, just in a lesser frequency. What’s the difference between those two? How do you execute this without coming out as not really giving shit about what she has to say? Thanks!”
In my report, I did use the technique called “seductive listening.” I haven’t written any posts specifically about this subject, as I thought the report would be enough, but I can now see that I was wrong, so I will dedicate this post to this subject by clarifying what it means to be a seductive listener.
Before I begin, I want to give all credit to 60 Years of Challenge, the pioneer of this technique.
Gay bars are wonderful places to meet girls. But more than this,
they teach you about women’s true nature – and sexuality.
Reading Hector’s fantastic piece on why women like homoerotic men, I must say that I agree with his points. I found his theory on how bi-sexual and homoerotic men can come across as more dominant very interesting.
I am personally not that bi-curious. That said, I am very comfortable with physical contact; I don’t mind if a gay guy touches me, even on intimate areas. It is “just touching,” after all. Some women find homoerotism hot – but not all. However, every woman does find men who are comfortable with their sexuality hot. If a man is comfortable with a dude touching him, one can easily conclude that he is not only a very sexual guy, but also very confident.
It also displays that one does not have stuck-up beliefs related to sex and that one is most likely not homophobic (women find homophobia very unsexy). It conveys non-judgmental attitudes in regards to sex, which helps women allow themselves to open up sexually to you.
So I decided to write a follow up with my own thoughts on this topic. Since 2011, after doing a sociology assessment with a lesbian girl in senior high school regarding the gay-environment, I have not only been fascinated by gay clubs, but I have also become a regular in them. There are a few reasons for this:
Many gay clubs have a better women/men ratio than straight clubs
Hotter women
More sexual vibe
Less bullshit (less “bitchshield”) – women have their guards down
Based on all this, gay clubs can seem like a paradise... but there are some downsides, too:
They can sometimes become sausage fests (for obvious reasons)
Gay guys can be serious cockblocks – directly messing things up for you (especially if they are into you)
Gay guys can oftentimes be ultra annoying – i.e., constantly popping up and wanting to drink/dance with your girl while you’re trying to seduce
Gay clubs can be chaotic
You never get “freebies” (as in ovulating horny girls); those usually go to places they are most likely to meet someone (not gay clubs) – in other words, in gay clubs, it is all about skills
You need to pass the “are you gay” test all the time – and believe me, women will test you hard on this one
You need to have a good response to the “why are you in a gay bar” question
But apart from all this, I find gay clubs interesting. The vibe is uniquely good and sexual in very intriguing way.
I can write many guides on meeting women in gay bars/clubs if so desired (let me know in the comments section).
I think it is pretty niche. However, there are valuable lessons I learned in gay bars that helped me tremendously in becoming better in all venues.
The way you use sexual tension differs depending on the time of
day you meet her. If by day, one way; if by night, another.
Hey, guys!
During my daily skimming of the comment section of my posts, I stumbled upon this interesting question by a reader named Kevin:
“I just re-read your superb series on sexual tension, and it left me wondering on its uses in a day game setting. I mostly do day game myself, and don't yet fully understand how one can use sexual tension there.
As someone who is good at both day and night game, would you have any pointers on the use of sexual tension in day game and how it is different from night game, and maybe even share your day game strategies?
Thanks again, Kevin”
I also believe that this question needs to be answered, as I haven’t really covered how sexual tension should be used in different social contexts (generally speaking: day game vs. night game). From reading my posts on sexual tension, many might believe that those posts were dedicated to night game. They would be wrong.
However, I do see why people would believe this, since I not only shared a report from a night game scenario in which sexual tension was amplified, but many of the examples in the report seem to be taken from night game. Additionally, after my last two podcasts with Varoon, it has become clear that I am a night gamer.
The truth is, I have experience in both day game and night game. That said, I have lately been focusing more on night game, simply because I find it more exciting and I tend to take days off during the weekend. I will say I am pretty clueless when it comes to online game and social circle related stuff, as those areas have never caught my interest. I am a 100% cold approacher.
Now, the concepts covered in my sexual tension series and everything else related to displaying sexual intent that I have posted in the past, such as physical escalation, sex talk, and other sexual gambits, can be applied both to day game and night game – with some adjustments. Those adjustments are the subject of this post.
Let us get to it.
Over the years, the tactics needed to turn on Western girls have
shifted. As sex destigmatizes, subtlety has gone out the window.
