Once you’ve seen the dark side of women – how callously they can stray on men who deeply love them and lie about it – can you ever trust a girl again?Over on X, there was a good long thread where guys shared their experiences being ‘side guys’:
When you chat up a girl, does she realize you’re hitting on her? If not… how obvious must you be for her to “get the picture” that you like her?Hey guys and welcome.
I have recently finished my series on the indirect approach, discussing the many mechanisms at play, covering displaying interest and disinterest, and how to do it. So, today, I’ll turn to a theoretical question many men ask:
Why go indirect and “hide” your true interest in her when she already knows why you are hitting on her?
I will tackle this question below.
Women don’t usually make eye contact beyond 6ft/2m. When they do, it’s often a sign they’re ‘on the hunt’, in search of men – and YOU have caught their eye.I’ve noticed for a long time now that when girls start looking at me from far away, they almost always start playing with their hair and preening themselves once they have my attention.
Much of the time they will move closer to me on their own. As they draw nearer, I will use my eyes that draw technique to make sure they stop near where I am (within easy opening range).
When I approach girls like this, they are generally very receptive.
So, I have long taken this one (girls staring at you from a distance) as “very often an approach invitation.”
As it turns out, there is a specific distance you can look for to make this more watertight!
Today’s henpecked men suppress their own sexual attractiveness, studies find. Why men are doing this & how to stop doing it we discuss in this essay.The other day I came across an eye-opening paper from 2007. Here’s the abstract:
This simple ‘tactical framework’ for romantic conversations puts you in the driver’s seat. Get girls laughing, intrigued and following your lead in no time.Yesterday we talked about the common problem where guys bombard women with too many questions.
It’s an easy trap to fall into, especially when you are new, and especially when the girl is not giving you much.
In that article, I challenged you (you being anyone who runs into this issue) to try running your conversations with ZERO questions – at least until the girl is hooked / shows sufficient interest on her end.
In today’s Tactics Tuesdays article, I’m going to give you a simple tactical framework you can use to make your “no questions convos” run smoothly in the early conversation.
We’ll call this tease-compliance-qualify-cold read – or TCQC for short.
A common trap men fall into is asking women too many questions. How do you stop asking girls too many questions? By asking no questions AT ALL! Try it!I responded to a few reports on our Field Reports Board recently (over on the forum) in which newer guys fell into the trap of asking women they’d just approached too many questions.
Here’s an excerpt from one report – I’m just going to post what the forum member said and skip the girl’s replies just to give you a sense of the question frequency here:
[opens]
"Hi, so what's your name?"
"How are you doing today?"
"Pretty good, I just, uh, got out of the coffee shop. I was just reading a book and chilling today. You?"
"Oh awesome, the Korean corndog place?"
"But they look like corndogs."
"Okay okay. Well, girls are usually interested in hotdogs."
"So what kind of boba are you going to get?"
"Oh, I've been to that place. I really liked the watermelon."
"Are you guys boba addicts?"
"I'm part of the, uh, boba anonymous addiction recovery group."
"Maybe. Maybe I'm just replacing one vice with another."
"Yeah. Are you from around the area or...?"
"Oh, that's pretty prestigious."
"Yeah, I also grew up around the area. I went not to <her school>, I went to <school name>."
"Yeah, did you just graduate?"
"Oh awesome, what did you study?"
"Oh nice...so you like money, and numbers? <Teasing her>"
That is 9 questions out of 18 separate remarks. 50% questions.
Here’s an excerpt from a second report:
But we get to talking and again my problem is my conversational skills be dry as fuck I can't think of anything to say beyond what do you do and where are you from. Anyway she tells me she goes to church and turns out she goes to the same church I used to go to, I ask her for her number and she says she doesn't give that out so I left.
…
But I couldn't think of anything to say my conversation skills are super dry. How do I be better at conversation and get her attraction to continue building? I could just feel these girl's attraction to me slowly waning the more we talked cuz I didn't know how to keep the spark going.
Here again we have an incident where the guy was struggling to get much more going on than asking some basic questions while struggling through conversation.
I just want to be clear: I’m not ragging on our forum members! I did the same thing as them when a newbie. You could’ve called me “Mr. Questions” at times.
It’s tough when you get into a chat with a girl who isn’t giving you much back. It’s all too easy to get caught up in the ‘infinite questions loop’. She’ll answer your questions but she contributes nothing! What do you do except ask MORE questions!
Well, I’m going to give you a strategy for what to do:
You are going to ask ZERO questions!
Want to pick up somewhere with plenty of hot, rowdy women who’ve had a little to drink, but don’t want to stay out late? Pick up girls at daytime brunches!This post by DoWhatWorks originally appeared on our forum here.
TLDR: Go to girly “brunches” that are hosted in big bars or small clubs and arrive as they close around 5-6 PM. Talk to girls who’ve been there since 1 PM, have sex by midnight.
I did this last weekend (didn’t bother writing it up because it was a “just don’t mess up situation” with not much game used) & guys in my circle have been doing this too.
These venues have crazy ratios with horny girls and hardly any guys there as we’re typically lazy/unorganised & don’t plan activities or events.
The hardest part is finding the right brunch event, venue & time combination but once you do, it’s easy if you have game & are willing to approach.
Who are the people who sleep around a lot sleeping with? Well… EACH OTHER, for the most part. We look at the numbers and see how it all shakes out.Next up in “uncomfortable truths about hooking up”: the more sex you have with more different people, the more you are dipping into the same (somewhat limited) pot of lovers every other sexually active person is.
A lot of people do not seem to understand this. In fact it took me a few years in seduction to realize it myself. I was picking up girls from nightclubs and some from dating apps. While I knew it wasn’t their first rodeo, it didn’t really occur to me that, “Every guy who also gets laid a lot is sleeping with these same exact girls.”
In any population of people, most of them aren’t having lots of sex with different people. Most of the women and most of the men only have a handful of lifetime partners. But this also means that most people in any given mating market are not participating in the dating scene most of the time. Only those who are single (or cheating) and who actively are looking for mates are participants. This is a limited pot of people.
Further, the most chronically ‘single and looking’ people tend to make up a disproportionate amount of those present in meet market environments (such as nightlife and dating apps), skewing hookups from these environments even more into the “shared lover” category.
I’ll give you some data to back up what I mean, but first I want to tell you a few stories.
How much interest or disinterest should you show a girl to fully attract her? It depends on the girl and the situation. You will just have to CALIBRATE.Hey guys. Welcome back.
Recently, I have been discussing indirect game, when one approaches a girl indirectly, withholding interest to initiate communication more safely. The benefits of this approach can lower a woman’s guard and avoid triggering unnecessary rejections. Most women reject men because they want to protect themselves from being stuck with a guy they do not consider attractive, so indirect game can help avoid these situations.
Why? The girl does not perceive you as hitting on her explicitly.
But wait, you are an attractive, confident guy! You are smart, decently wealthy, cool, social, nice; the list goes on. However, all your positive traits are irrelevant because she does NOT know you when you approach. So, unless she picks up on cues that signify attractive traits (like social proof) before you approach (and it is not a given that she will notice), or you happen to be her type, she may not give you a chance. Approaching indirectly allows you to buy time and provides an opportunity to convey those traits—yes, you are an attractive guy she can envision hooking up with.
Unlike direct approaches, when it is all or nothing, with indirect game, things are ambiguous, giving you more playing room. She doesn’t feel forced to accept or reject you, so you can convey your attractive personality, guiding her opinion of you to favorable and even feeling “I really want this guy!”
And, the more interest she shows, the more interest you can show her in return because, eventually, you should show some interest.
The question then becomes: how much interest should you show her when the time is right? As much as her? More than her? Less than her?
That is the question I will tackle in this article.
If dating’s too expensive for you – well, you’re doing it wrong! You can have great dates that cost nothing… and some are even classier than pricey dinners.“Dating’s too hard on my bank account!”
“I had to give up dating right now; I don’t have the funds.”
“I spend way too much on women.”
Every time I see comments like these I wonder, “What the heck is this guy doing to make dating so expensive?” I’d have to bang 30 girls a week to be spending as much as some guys spend going on one or two posh dates.
Not only is spending money on women hard on your bank account, a lot of the time it is counterproductive. Is your goal to get this girl into bed? Then you should not pay for dates!
If you must pay (and sometimes you’ll have to spend a little money), then you should cut the amount you are spending down as low as possible.
In this article, I’ll share nine (9) ways you can keep your dates dirt cheap or even free. If you want something with a girl other than to be her ATM, this is the guide for you.
(note: a lot of guys seem to have ego tied to being the provider. That is fine. If that is you, this isn’t the article for you. This is for guys who want to sleep with the girls they take out on dates and optionally turn those girls into FWBs or girlfriends. When that is the case, you want to minimize the role of money and maximize the focus on YOU and THE GIRL)
