Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Things That Show Women You’re Chasing Them (That’s Bad!)

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By: Chase Amante

signs you're chasingIn July's article on granting social status, I mentioned a delicate social situation as an example of a scenario where you'd unfortunately have to deal with an interruption by throwing someone under the bus. A reader asked a clarifying question, wondering if it wasn't possible to deal with that interruption more gracefully toward the interloper:

“In the example from the networking event, wouldn't a socially savvy person tell the nerdy guy something like "We were in the middle of a conversation here, is it OK if I get back to you later?" as if to give the guy an out?

Would you in retrospect deal with the incident more like this, or if not, why? While the guy was rude to intrude the way he did, isn't it better to not be rude back?”

My response was that, while normally you DO want to respond gracefully here, due to the specifics of this case, because of what's communicated to this new woman you've just met by you explicitly telling someone else you prioritize your just-commenced conversation with her over the one he has just commenced with you (as you would in the graceful way of letting this other individual down), you must take the haughtier tack here, unfortunately, and throw our socially awkward friend to the wolves for stepping between you and this girl and butting into your conversation.

And just what is that bad thing communicated by you telling him explicitly that you're prioritizing your conversation with her over your conversation with him that forces your hand here? Why has he left you with no choice but to dismantle him socially, rather than let him down nicely?

What's communicated to the girl in the explicit case, where she hears you tell him, "I'm in the middle of a conversation with her, please excuse me," is that you're chasing her... that's what.

Why that's communicated, and the other signs you can give off that indicate you're chasing women, is what we'll talk about here.

Going Out to Meet Women Even When You Don’t Want to

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By: Chase Amante

meet women routineWhen I first started lifting weights regularly, there were plenty of days I did not want to go to the gym at all - days I felt sick, days I felt tired, days I was down in the dumps. But I made myself go anyway, because I had committed myself to it, and I knew that if I started skipping days at the gym, I'd skip more and more, and whatever gains I actually made would be slow and, likely, negligible.

So, I went, time and again, when I did not want to go at all. The feeling after was always triumphant - I had vanquished my emotions and managed to achieve in spite of myself. And six months after I'd begun working out three times a week, every week, I was back in front of a bunch of my old colleagues, and everyone was impressed at how much muscle I'd put on.

I hadn't even realized; because I saw myself in the mirror every day, I hadn't seen the transformation. All I'd seen was that I kept lifting heavier and heavier amounts of weight.

Going out to meet women is just like this; the important thing is not being "ready" to go out and meet women - the important thing is going out and meeting women.

But a lot of men have trouble doing this.

How to Spot a Girl Looking for Men

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By: Chase Amante

girl looking for menImagine yourself walking down a crowded street, teeming with people about you on every side. Or, making your way through a jam-packed bar, or a subway station crammed with people.

Somewhere in that street, bar, or station there is a girl who would love nothing more than to meet you... you, or some other attractive, savvy man who isn't going to hem and haw, but who, rather, is going to take her by the hand and lead her gallantly off on an electric, romantic, and titillating adventure.

How do you spot a girl looking for men like this?

As you're doubtless conscious of, women give off a number subtle signals that they are receptive to meeting new men - and sometimes to your advances in particular.

However, most men are terrible at reading these signals... and most women go home frustrated, empty-handed, and bothered about life's unreliability in providing men who can recognize what they want and give it to them.

But if you knew how to read these signs... if you could pick a woman out of a crowd, point to her, and easily say to yourself, "That girl wants to meet a man right now," you would have a super power few men possess, and one that many women wished men possessed.

That super power, as it were, is within your reach.

Why Madonna/Whore is Intimately Linked with the West

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By: Chase Amante

madonna whore complexA few days ago, Peter had an article up on deprogramming yourself from Madonna/whore complex, a form of black and white thinking in which there are good girls - Madonnas - who aren't all that interested in sex, and there are bad girls - whores - who love nothing more than a good pounding by just about anyone.

As his focus was more on the deprogramming side of things - so that you might optimize your sex life and dealings with women in a Western, post Madonna/whore type world - Peter only scraped the surface on where this mental model of female sexuality originates in his article, and I'd like to expand greatly upon both the background of Madonna/whore and the purpose that it serves here.

This is going to be a ride through some of the stranger and less-discussed aspects of human sexual history and civilization, so... I hope you're prepared for a lengthier piece.

Don’t Get Too Attached to a Girl Before the Sale

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By: Chase Amante

A few years ago, I wrote "Can't Stop Thinking About Her? Here's Why You Need to Meet More Girls" for all the guys out there going crazy over That One Special Girl. I've been there; I understand it.

It's a tough place to be.

I was reminded of one of the essential elements of this not long ago when coaching a mentee on sales. She was new to it, and had had a string of successes, but then, suddenly, ended up working with a customer who was incredibly difficult: he kept changing his mind, kept calling her and asking to see more product, kept haggling endlessly on price.

And as this went on, as my friend plowed more and more time into this one customer, it became a more and more emotionally charged thing for her, and a bigger and bigger deal.

She also came down more and more on price, and became more and more willing to sell him something for almost nothing.

Soon it became all she thought about. She ate, slept, and breathed this customer.

Eventually the sale fell though, and it sent her into a rage. How could this customer have wasted so much of her time and not even given her anything?

attached to a girl

I was reminded of one of the most important lessons of both sales and seduction then: don't over-invest in any one prospect, and don't get too attached.

Get Introduced to Girls and Play the Game on 'Easy Mode'

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By: Chase Amante

Various readers have asked variations on the following questions on this site before, and it's the question I'd like to address today:

“If you want girls chasing you, how do you open? Isn't the very act of walking up to a girl and starting a conversation with her chasing itself?”

The answer to that last question is "yes", you are chasing women at the outset of your interactions with them, at least a little bit, although if you know what you're doing, much of the time you can mollify the effects of this early chasing by coming in very smooth and somewhat aloof, and quickly changing the dynamic so that the girl herself is soon chasing you (which is a much more pleasant, exciting, and productive dynamic for both you and her than the alternative is).

However, there is one way to meet new women in which you can start out in the "chased" position, provided you are out with one or more friends who either know the women you want to meet already, or have a good handle on opening and being received well: that is, to get introduced.

get introduced

I've long made use of getting introduced to women both to my own advantage (to have girls falling into my lap) as well as to help out my friends or, sometimes, students, back when I used to train in-field (to throw girls into the friend's or student's lap).

This is one of those things that I rarely hear anyone talk about, and I'm not sure why, because it's like pick up on "easy mode."

And if you're not taking advantage of introductions... well, let's have a look at what you've been missing out on.

How to Create a Habit You’ll Stick With

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By: Chase Amante

Note from Chase: this is a guest post on creating and implementing a habit, by Robert King, director and instructor at PUA London.

Habits are the brain's own productivity mechanism. The brain converts conscious actions, consistently repeated, into unconscious habits. The brain turns conscious actions into unconscious habits to free up future resources and will power for other tasks and actions.

The only downside to this process is that it can be extremely difficult to break bad habits or to create new ones. Once positive habits have been ingrained into the unconscious they are EXTREMELY beneficial, though.

create a habit

To create a new habit, we first engage in a new activity, and the brain works very hard to process all the new information. The brain looks for patterns and tries to understand the new action. As soon as it understands how the task works, this behaviour starts becoming automatic, and the mental activity required to do the task decreases.

Think about how much brain power you used when first learning how to drive. Compare that now to when you drive; probably the vast majority of your driving is done on autopilot.

Let's talk about creating habits, which are crucial to getting success, especially in all things self-development.

Do You Really Need to Learn Game to Get Girls?

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By: Chase Amante

learn gameA reader recently contributed another comment to the article "When Women Test Men." Like many of the commenters on that article, he balked; "Why should I have to learn how to deal with women's tests? Women should simply like me for ME, and NEVER test me!"

In one way, I sympathize. It's no fun feeling like other people are putting you under a microscope, examining you, and that you're being inspected to see if you meet their requirements.

However, the element of learning how to automatically pass the tests you see from women - that's things like:

  • Her asking you loaded questions about yourself

  • Her putting up resistance to dating or sleeping with you

  • Her giving you drama in a relationship

... is more or less one of the key foundational elements, all boiled down, of learning "game."

And when you're first learning how to deal with tests, they can be hard, and they can be confusing, and they can make you feel helpless, and they are not a lot of fun.

But, is it perhaps possible to just skip learning how to deal with all these feminine things, and just screen for and get women who don't act like this?

Can you opt not to learn game... and still find success in mating and in life?

Impressing and Amazing Your Girlfriend’s Family

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By: Chase Amante

Growing up, I had two uncles on my mother's side of the family, both of them married to my mother's sisters. These two uncles were on opposite sides of the spectrum when it came to how the family felt about them: one of them was beloved and could do no wrong, while the other was thought of as a rascal.

Never mind the fact that the beloved uncle spent more time playing video games and guitar than he did with his wife and kids, or that the rascal was the consummate family man. Even before these men married into the family, their impressions were set in stone.

What does it take to impress a girlfriend's family? It certainly isn't many of the things you'd think would be it.

girlfriend's family

It isn't your job - that can win you some points, but they're often grudging points.

It isn't how good your conversation is, either.

In fact, it's something very different from what a lot of men seem to think it is.

New GC Authors, and Searching Articles by Author

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By: Chase Amante

Hey fellas,

Quick note on some of our new writers joining the site, plus a better way to search for a specific author's articles.

As I'd hoped the new business model would allow us to do here, we've been able to begin bringing new writers on the team the past few months. The new additions have included Colt, who'd done some writing with GC in the past and is now here on a regular basis, and Peter, a friend of mine who specializes in social circle and kicked off his stint here with a great series on the topic.