Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Time Orientation and Suitable Romantic Pairings

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By: Chase Amante

time orientationI recently had a girl invite me to watch Sex and the City with her. She'd newly discovered the television show after never having really watched it before, and was suddenly addicted.

"Ugh," I said. "No thanks. But knock yourself out."

"Come on, please!" she protested. "It's so much fun!"

"Fun for women," I replied. "Men do not enjoy Sex and the City."

"That's not true!" she said. "It's a great show for men AND women!"

"It's a bunch of women who have no idea what they want doing the same things over and over again, never able to realize they're trapped in a perpetual loop of meaningless emotion–chasing," I responded. "There's little self–discovery, and loads of gossip, which is of course quite interesting to women, but like nails on a chalkboard to men."

She started watching an episode by herself, and soon called out to me, "You're right, I can see why women really like this and men don't!"

But I wanted to think about it some more. Why do women like that show so much, and why don't men? Certainly, there are exceptions – women who think it's trite, and men who think it's wonderful – but they're not the norm.

What I realized was that it's part gossip – women use gossip to stay informed on who's a desirable mate, who's an available mate, and who isn't – which is pretty useless to men but pretty vital to women – but it's also about time orientation... a little thing most people don't think much about, but that has huge implications for their dating lives and relationships.

What's It Take to Attract and Date Younger Women?

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By: Chase Amante

In Part I of this series on dating younger women, we addressed some of the bigger questions on the subject: do younger women actually like older men; are older men who date younger women 'dirty'; are younger women dating older men all gold diggers?

younger women

Some of the conclusions we came to include these:

  • Age is nature's proving grounds for male mate quality: a younger male is selected on the merits of his promise and potential; an older male, meanwhile, is selected on the degree of his proven, achieved success

  • There's a huge difference between exceptional older men, and ordinary older men - the former being most or all of fit, healthy, confident, charismatic, high status, and financially well-off; the latter being none or few of these

  • A woman's mating preferences are: top - proven (exceptional) older man; middle - unproven but promising younger man; bottom - unproven and unpromising younger man (creepy guy) and ordinary (unexceptional) older man (dirty old man)

  • Because most older men fall into the "ordinary older men" paradigm (ordinary is the norm, after all), most older men are not especially attractive to younger women, thus the 'dirty old man' wrap that some people are quick to label older men interested in younger women with

  • Most real-life older man / younger woman couples are actually two decent, normal, attractive people happy and comfortable with each other and reasonably proud of each other - not many are the rich guy / gold digger couples modern popular media seems so eager to paint them as

While the previous article was about answering the higher level questions - what's with the pushback in the West against older men dating younger women? Do women find older men attractive or not? Why would a woman choose an older man when she could have a younger one? - in this article, we focus on the how-to.

How to date younger women, that is.

So, grab your walking canes, gentlemen, and let's talk about the mechanics of meeting, dating, sleeping with, and having relationships with younger women when you're an older man (and a little bit about this if you're a younger man, too).

Oh, and if you haven't read it yet, do check out Part I here, as well: "Dating Younger Women: Does It Make You 'Dirty'?"

Onwards, then.

Does Dating Younger Women Make an Older Man "Dirty"?

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By: Chase Amante

younger womenThis is Part I of a 2-part series on dating younger women. In Part I, we'll be focused on social factors that have changed and why there's so much pushback against older men dating younger women in the West. Part II will be our "how-to" - that is, how to date younger women as an older (or younger) man.

There's something of a stigma in the West right now against older men and younger women (while younger men and older women is often considered right as rain - and maybe even ideal!)... younger woman / older man couplings, you'll frequently be told, are a Bad Thing.

But travel the rest of the world, and this stigma is largely nonexistent.

Throughout history, it's been common for older men to select younger women as their brides, across cultures, nearly universally.

It would appear we live in a strange and rather unusual period in history, where sexual norms have been turned upside down and positioned on their heads.

But look a little closer, and you'll see that even in the West - even in the United States, bastion of feminist sentiment right now - steer clear of unattractive women with bones to pick, and you'll quickly find that - at least among pretty younger women - this "stigma" against older men dating younger women is primarily the figment of a small group of the media's imagination.

Let's sweep aside the deliberate confusion of the rabble-rousers and have look at what actually goes on out there in the real world of older men and the younger women they date.

Protecting Yourself from Psychic Vampires (and Not Turning, Either)

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By: Chase Amante

psychic vampireIn yesterday's article on emotional contagion - Part I of this 2-parter on emotional transference - we discussed how the process of transferring emotions from person to person works. Namely, there are two steps:

  1. Empower the other person around you first, then

  2. Emote to the other person who, now empowered, will mirror you

Today's article is about the dark side of emotional contagion - something commonly called "psychic vampirism." That is, it's how some people have learned to use emotional contagion in reverse - rather than transfer energizing emotion to others, building them up and making them feel great, a psychic vampire has learned to use emotional transference to drain emotions the other way - feeding off the emotions of those he comes into contact with, making himself feel better at the expense of his conversation partner's emotional well-being.

Like the vampires of legend, a psychic vampire can "turn" you, too - with enough of your energy drained, you can become an energy drainer yourself, feeding off the positive emotions of others to sustain yourself.

But, just like emotional contagion, this is not some paranormal phenomenon - rather, it's simply down to empowering and emoting, seeing and mirroring.

How Seducers Use Emotional Contagion to Attract

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By: Chase Amante

emotional contagionA potent but under-discussed phenomenon in the fields of socializing and seduction is that of emotional contagion, the tendency for emotions between two or more people to converge.

Emotional contagion is the foundation of frame control, and is of vital importance too in creating sexual tension and social pressure, in remaining in command of yourself and others in high pressure situations, and in effectively leading women (and men, too).

You might say it's a case of "the person with the most solid and catchable emotions wins."

Todays article is the first of a two-part series on emotional transference, with two articles focused on:

  1. How to transfer your emotions to others, and

  2. How to protect yourself from others' negative emotional transfers

Done right, emotional transfer is an outstanding tool for creating the emotions in women that you want them to feel, and improving their experience, your experience, and the outcome of your interactions.

And while "emotional contagion" and "emotional transference" might sound at first like New Age-y touchy-feely mumbo jumbo, it is in fact hard science, and it all has to do with the fascinating little cells in your brain called "mirror neurons."

How to Be Decisive

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By: Chase Amante

There it is: the Big Decision.

how to be decisive

On the one hand, you've got Road #1. And it is a tempting choice. It seems like a great path to go down... maybe everything you want.

Except you're not 100% sure it'll work out.

And if it doesn't, you'll have lost all that time going down it.

Then, on the other hand, you've got Road #2. It's the safer path by far... but maybe - could it be - too safe?

If you pick Road #2, you'll probably be okay, but you might miss out on the amazingly potential upside of Road #1.

Alternately, pick Road #1 and you risk having it not lead anywhere, and then you won't end up enjoying the benefits of Road #1 OR Road #2.

So, you hem and haw, delay and stall, sending your mind into overdrive trying to figure out which choice is the right choice to make.

Only, your mind can't figure this out. There's no new information coming in.

Nothing else to tip the scales in your head to help you to decide, or force you to.

In the end, you sit there, no closer to a decision than you were when first presented with those two choices, despite endless wheel spinning, mental gears clogged with mud and grass, unable to spin any further, you unable to decide.

This article is designed to help you never have to worry about this ugly (and far too common) scenario again; it the complete manual on how to be decisive, and it's how I took myself from someone who kept ending up in these scenarios to someone who never does anymore.

7 Approach Invitations You’ll Get from Girls

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By: Chase Amante

approach invitationYou stand there, somewhere that you often go, when, out of the corner of your eye, you notice her: a sexy girl in a red, skimpy dress.

Man, I'd love to talk to HER, you think to yourself... but can't think of a way you might go talk to her, or what you might say.

Plus, she's all the way over there, and you're all the way over here; it'd be too obvious if you just walked over there.

You go back to minding your own business.

A few minutes later though, you notice that there she is again - only now, she's hovering about right next to you, looking vaguely lost and confused.

She's over here now! you think. I can't believe it! Luck is on my side! But what if she doesn't respond when I talk to her? How do I know she wants to talk to me?

So, you hesitate... and a moment later, she drifts away, as if remembering where she needed to go and going there instead. Ah, missed my chance, you think.

But it wasn't luck on your side, nor was it blind chance - that was an approach invitation.

The reason she ended up hovering next to you, seemingly on accident, was because she wanted you to approach - and wanted to do everything in her power to help make it easy for you to do so.

And if you aren't recognizing it when women do this, you are most likely missing out on a lot of pretty women who really want to get to know you.

Why I Quit Dating Girls Who Club, Party, or Drink

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By: Chase Amante

girls who partySomething I've been asked from time to time on this site (most recently in a forum post by one of our members here) is why I don't date girls who club, party, drink, or have "girls' nights out".

The questions you most frequently get about this are:

  • Doesn't every girl do these things?

  • Who cares if she goes out and does a little drinking? I trust my girl to stay loyal.

  • Aren't you a hypocrite if you do these things but expect her not to?

  • Don't you trust your women to stay faithful to you? I thought you wrote in the article on how to prevent cheating that it was possible to be so great a partner than women wouldn't want to cheat?!

Most of these thoughts come from rather different places than where I come at relationships from, though. These thoughts revolve more around fear of loss, and/or a feeling of helplessness to control for or select against this behavior... neither of which I have.

This article will not be terribly helpful if you're still just starting out on your journey to get good with women, or are intermediate there, because you will not be able to follow it. Real screening is dependent on the ability to say "no," and until you reach the place where you truly have absolute abundance with women, there will always be women where your logic will say, "I'm not so sure about this one..," but your emotions will hit the override button and tell you, "Stop being silly - she's great."

So let's talk about why I recommend steering clear of these kinds of women if you want a stable, healthy relationship that is a boon to your existence, rather than the bane of it.

Granting Social Status; and, Not Getting Thrown Under the Bus

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By: Chase Amante

women statusI recently completed an almost 2-hour interview with Glenn Pierce (formerly just Glenn P), a really sharp and talented guy who taught me a thing or two when I wanted to kick my daytime approaching up a notch back in early '07, for his upcoming interview series. While doing the interview - much of it something of a "how you got your start" type piece - we each shared stories of girls early on in our lives (both in junior high) who liked us, who were otherwise really cool girls, yet who, when we approached in awkward / socially unsavvy ways, threw us each under the bus socially, even as they still liked us.

When it happened to me, I immediately understood why it happened - why a girl who still liked me (she continued to flirt with me and give me hints and invitations for years after) - and same deal for Glenn... his girl still liked him (a friend of hers even told him so) - yet these girls so coolly and seemingly ruthlessly tossed us to the wolves, status-wise.

I think this is a thing a lot of guys don't get. Why would a girl do this? A girl who likes you - maybe she even likes you more than anybody else around her - yet she casts you aside.

Maybe you want to judge her. Maybe you want to say that clearly she's a petty person; she's weak; she cares too much what others think and not enough about what she wants.

Maybe you want to say that if she's not willing to take a risk to be with you, then who needs her?

Except this isn't the right approach. If you want success with women, you must have a mind for status - and you must have a mind for protecting and even enhancing the status of the women around you.

Having Lots of Dates in Short Amounts of Time

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By: Chase Amante

While my normal recommendations are that guys stay far out of boyfriend-territory and focus on sealing the deal with girls they like on the first date, the truth is sometimes you're going to move too slow by accident, or not feel confident enough moving quickly with a girl, and you'll wind up as a boyfriend candidate after all.

So what do you do then, when she's not seeing you as a lover, and you can't move fast?

Just give up?

Or do you play the game the way she wants you to play it... but with your own twist?

lots of dates short time

I'm going to introduce you to the concept of date compression in today's article - making dates count for more than a single date, and having a full boyfriend-candidacy dating process in a short amount of time, rather than the protracted courtship these frequently turn out to be.

In the end, you'll be able to take girls who view you as a boyfriend candidate as lovers and as girlfriends much more quickly and reliably than the men who stretch things out - and often lose the girls they like after plowing time and money into trying to get them.

Let's talk about speeding up the entire dating process without skipping steps.