Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

How to Pick Up Girls in Foreign Countries

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By: Chase Amante

Pick Up Foreign WomenNote from Chase: This is a guest post by my friend Mark Manson over at Postmasculine. Mark's just released an inventive new book titled Escape Plan: Ditch the Rat Race and Discover the World, and to mark the occasion he's put together a "dream trip contest" the likes of which you usually only see on well-funded TV gameshows, with him flying the winner out to a chosen dream destination and Mark footing the bill for flights and lodging. Details if you're interested on the Escape Plan page.

To promote his new book and the idea of ditching the rat race and escaping wherever you want in the world, Mark's assembled this post on his travels picking up women in foreign countries just for us here at Girls Chase. Onward.

I have been fortunate enough the past few years to not only travel all over the world, but to do it as a young, single man. I’ve spent more than my fair share of time pursuing the women of foreign countries. In fact, I can say that it’s become one of the most interesting and exciting ways to acquaint myself with a new culture.

When men back home hear my stories, a lot of them make the assumption that meeting and dating women in these cultures is easy. They figure I’m a young American and so women must throw themselves at me wherever I go. They think that just because I’m from a rich country and I’m white, that women throw themselves at me wherever I go.

Not the case.

The truth is that meeting women while traveling gets a bit complicated. It presents a set of extreme circumstances and there are a lot more variables to deal with.

There are language barriers, cultural barriers, racial stereotypes, logistical conundrums, and not to mention you’re in a totally unfamiliar place and don’t know a single person.

It’s not always easy. But it can be exciting as hell.

Here’s a brief breakdown of the major factors one needs to be aware of when traveling to a new country as a single man. It IS possible to have some amazing sexual experiences with foreign women, and in many cases, these experiences can be far more exciting or enjoyable than the ones you have with women back home.

But you have to know what you’re doing.

Are You Trying Too Hard? Stop Trying. Start Succeeding

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By: Chase Amante

Trying Too HardA reader writes in to ask about trying too hard:

“I haven't seen any posts yet by you about a particular subject--neediness and trying too hard.

In fact, I just read one of your posts "What regular men don't know" where you are a proponent of making yourself into an attractive man and getting better with women an obsession.

Personally I have had a few different people tell me lately that I'm "trying too hard." I don't know what this means. Without trying, I will get nowhere. At first I thought they were right, but now I'm thinking they were just jealous I was trying to change when they weren't.

Could you write a post on this inner game issue? What does it mean to "try too hard" and when does getting better with women become a bad thing? How do you make sure to keep consistently trying to get better without having people tell you you're trying too hard?

Or should I say screw 'em and keep on doin my own thing?”

I was speaking with a former student of mine about this a few weeks back. We'd talked about him tweaking a vibe he gives off, where it feels as though he's trying a bit too hard. He wasn't totally aware of it, but he'd heard it from multiple people and he asked me if I could put my finger on it and help him figure out why he was getting that kind of reaction from people and how to get around it.

Honestly, trying too hard is one of the most difficult things to explain to someone, and one of the most difficult things to stop.

But I myself was guilty of it for a long time once, and since there's some interest in the topic, let me take a crack at explaining what this is, and what you can do about it.

Carnival of Dating Advice, 8th Edition

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By: Chase Amante

carnival of dating advice

I'm excited to be bringing you this week's carnival, the 8th edition of the Carnival of Dating Advice! More great content across the web on display here, including a lot of insight this time into the female mind and female subcommunication.

In today's articles, we run the gamut from what to do and not to in couples' fights, how you can tell from women's reactions whether you're perceived as "high value" in a given environment (or whether you aren't yet there), and how to know if you're ready for marriage - and how some women feel as they grow older and begin to realize they might not ever meet a man who both meets their requirements and whose requirements they also meet.

There's a lot of stuff here that's a somewhat different perspective than what you're reading on the site most of the time here, but I'd urge you to withhold judgment and try to see things here as empathetically as possible. Really try to get into women's shoes as you read these things, and understand why the things that are a struggle here are. It will make you both better with women, and a better person all around.

On with the carnival...

How to Master Anything

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By: Chase Amante

While the focus on here is normally pointed squarely at getting girls, I wanted to broaden that today to a topic that's of significant importance not only to pickup and seduction, but to anything and everything you will ever lay your hands on, set your mind to, and go about doing.

That topic, in case you only glanced over the title, is how to master... anything.

how to master

In case you're not so familiar with my "credentials" (background), I've effectively mastered:

  • Sales
  • Music Production
  • Song Writing
  • Picking Up Women
  • Maintaining Relationships (completely different from pickup)
  • Posture / Movement / Personal Charisma
  • Motivational and Inspirational Speaking
  • Teaching (everything from software to seduction to high school students)
  • Copywriting
  • Writing in General

I'm also pretty good at making crazy shots from anywhere on the basketball court, and I'm about halfway through my growth curve as an entrepreneur, Internet marketer, and business growth expert.

On several occasions, I've had people ask me how it is you stay motivated to learning something long enough to reach a pinnacle in it. Usually I brush this off, because I don't like to be seen patting my own back too much. Even in my rap days, where bravado and showing off plays a big part of the art (rap has its origins in the West African folk tradition of "men of words" talking up their successes and desirability), I never liked venturing too far into singing my own praises.

It's far better for others to sing your praises for you than for you to do it yourself. People respect this more... and you look like less of an ass.

But for the sake of this post, let's shelve the false modesty, and talk about how to master things, how to set aside the laziness that nags at us all, and how to keep yourself focused on getting something down that few people ever will.

How to Be Playful: 4 Tips You'll NEED

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By: Chase Amante

how to be playfulA reader writes in:

“Hey man been a LONG time since I've emailed you! But I've been keeping up with the site and I love both you and Ricardus advice just awesome all around. The one thing that has INFINITELY thrown me off about the site is the sort of serious tone.

You guys understand pickup so well its scary sometimes lol! But one thing I realized yesterday was how important a bit of playfulness and humor is in pickup.

...

Maybe a post on how to inject playfulness into an interaction, because that is one thing I think that has really helped supercharge my interactions in the past. The ones that I had a playful attitude about were the ones where my success was higher. Whereas when I had this "I'm coming to pick you up" vibe it kind of scared some girls off because they weren't used to that level of directness but I believe if I had that playful side I could have saved the interaction.”

He raises a good point.

I've actually stayed away from talking about how to be playful on here for a long time because being playful is one of those things most guys who are new to learning about getting girls place way too much focus on and overdo.

If you've been through this site, you know there's a strong emphasis here on actively avoiding trying to get yourself making girls laugh all the time and on showing why fun is overrated for making headway with the women you like.

And all this might lead you to believe you ought to be Mister Serious in all of your interactions with women.

But if THAT's the impression you've got, then we've got a little reconditioning to do.

How Preselection Works to Get You Girls

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By: Chase Amante

In early 2007, back when I was still trying to figure out how to achieve consistent results picking up women in bars and nightclubs, I took some time to look back over the successful pickups I'd had over the past 6 or 7 months to see what common patterns I could pick out among them.

I noticed a few trends: I'd often had a sociable night early on, talking to different people, before meeting a girl. Sometimes I had social proof.

And almost ALL the time... I had preselection.

It blew my mind when I realized it.

Right after I'd end an interaction with an attractive girl who clearly had a good time talking to me, I'd meet the girl I'd end up picking up. Like clockwork. I even started to think that, had the roles been reversed - say, had I met the girls in the reverse order, maybe I would've picked up the other one instead.

Could it be that all you REALLY needed to get girls was preselection and an emphasis on moving fast?

preselection

Even to-date, most of my fastest pickups have come after a smattering of preselection to grease the wheels of the coming seduction.

And if you're not using it in YOUR interactions with women... you are sorely missing out, my friend.

Allow me to explain.

Carnival of Dating Advice, 7th Edition

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By: Chase Amante

carnival of dating advice

Thanks for tuning in for this, the 7th edition of the Carnival of Dating Advice! We've got some interesting submissions this week - as always - including a list of reasons to avoid giving to women to NOT get together with you, a post on the four types of men to avoid (if you're a woman who happens to be single-and-looking), and even a look at the range of emotions women experience during a hard break up and an unexpected rebound.

So if you're just sitting down to breakfast, grab another bagel, and if you're just settling into work, you can probably put off answering all those Monday-morning emails for another 30 minutes or so, because we've got some neat, mostly pretty short reads for you here today to start your day off with on a good note.

On with the carnival...

If Your Girl is Bored, Change These 6 Things

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By: Chase Amante

All right, I know I said no more relationship stuff for a while so we could recover from that big relationship series binge, but I'm sitting here after missing my flight (I should be somewhere over the Pacific right now), going through some of the past month or so's posts, and I see I also said I'd try to get some posts up regarding earlier comments, and... well...

Back in early August, Anonymous commented on the post on how to prevent cheating, saying:

“Could you write about what you mentioned, the whole making a girl feel TOO secure?”

Okay - here's one more on relationships for now. Just think of it as an expansion pack to the relationship series!

Having a girl start feeling too secure with you is a BIG problem in any kind of relationship. Big.

It's the reason why girls start treating guys disrespectfully 9 times out of 10.

And, it's the reason why a girl is bored in her relationship 10 times out of 10.

That's right - not just most of the time on that last. But, EVERY time!

girl is bored

But wait, you say - Walt Disney taught me to make women feel safe and secure! Isn't that what they want?

Actually... no. Everyone takes away the message of, "Protect her and make her feel safe!" from the movies most of the time... and they get it all wrong.

Because there's something else happening in those movies too - another reason why girls swoon for Prince Charming, and it isn't his trust fund.

But everybody misses that part... and everybody ends up with his own bored girl as a result.

Well, here's how to get yourself back in line with what women actually want.

Guy Talk: Here's How to Kick Butt at Talking to Other Men

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By: Chase Amante

guy talkA friend of mine just asked me a question about guy talk; in other words, what he said was:

“Chase, I've been learning to talk to girls for the better part of 2 years, and I think I've got a lot of it down at this point... but my question is, how do I talk to guys?”

We'd been discussing a few of his quirks: despite me working with him somewhat, he still seems to have a level of tension around him that he often doesn't seem to let go. He always strikes me a though he's trying to make his conversation; trying to "be cool" or "be one of the guys."

And other people have told me the same thing about him.

So, I sat him down to talk about guy talk. It turned out that this friend of mine has what I call a "hierarchical view of the world" - a view I think most people share, but that I don't. What happens to people with hierarchical worldviews is this: they feel intimidated and nervous by those they view as "above" them in the hierarchy.

And thus, they get uncomfortable around men they perceive as "dominant men" or "alpha males."

And thus, like anytime someone gets nervous or uncomfortable, they make mistakes and screw it up.

They try too hard.

They come off insincere.

And as I talked to my friend, I racked my brain trying to figure out if there's a way you can even get around this. A hierarchical mindset is a tough nut to crack - I've tried and failed with friends before.

But if you're uncomfortable engaging in "guy talk" and talking to other guys, is there a way to change that and get good?

See the Room

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By: Chase Amante

Last night as I walked back from a social event, dressed in a well-tailored gray suit jacket and a dark red silk button-down shirt and jeans, I passed by a new nightclub that had been open for a couple of months but that I hadn't yet visited. I'd heard from most people that it was big, and nice, but was only "good" for the first month or so. But I figured I'd check it out anyway.

I paid the entrance fee, walked around the ground floor, and saw some stairs leading up into a roped-off VIP section that encircled the downstairs from above. I liked to survey a new environment the first time I walk in, so I know all the nooks and crannies from the very beginning and have the lay of the land down before I settle in. I walked authoritatively up to the bouncers standing guard, smiled slightly at them and nodded, and they gestured for me to go up, so I did. Upstairs I found that the VIP section was effectively closed - no one had rented anything out up here, or maybe up here was not open for renting on a weeknight.

see the room

Most of the staff cleaning up up there ignored me, but I spotted one of them locked onto me with his eyes, clearly realizing I was not supposed to be there, so I ducked into one of the bathrooms to use the facilities. When I came back out, I went to do down a flight of stairs to head back, only to find a large metal sliding door shut in the way at the bottom of them. I went back upstairs and ran into a tall, stern-looking bouncer, and he gestured in another direction. I made a graceful thank you gesture, and headed down the stairs he pointed to, back to the main floor.

Downstairs, I found a spot at the back end of a bar, in a prominent position overlooking the crowded dance floor, but not crowded itself. I took that as my spot, and leaned against the bar, ordered a drink, and looked out over the crowd.