Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Carnival of Dating Advice, 12th Edition

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By: Chase Amante

carnival of dating advice

Welcome once again, to this, the 12th Edition of the Carnival of Dating Advice. Featuring articles on pickup, seduction, relationships, self-improvement, and more, we seek to bring you some of the best of the Internet every two weeks, and this week is no exception.

This week's articles include two on break ups and exes, two on managing your internals, and one on falling in love - essentially covering the entire range of relationships, from approaching to getting into a relationship to getting out of it and staying out of it. This week's carnival might almost be considered a short-and-sweet Relationship 101 (with a little self-improvement thrown in for flavor).

And with that said, on with the carnival...

How to Be Smooth with Girls Every Time

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By: Chase Amante

About 3 weeks ago on the post announcing the site's new forum, a reader named "D" asked about escalating things with women, being seductive, and cool – essentially, how to be smooth.

how to be smooth

Here's the gist of D's comment:

“Brother, I can initiate with no problems and create that instant attraction. But I seem to hit a wall at some point shortly after. I tend to have difficulty escalating to physicality. Granted I'm not very experienced in my endeavors but have been reading, studying, and trying to better myself; both in my body language and self image.

I need to know how to ignite the spark that I create and squirt a little gas on it.

I can create an opener from nothing and sometimes get 1 or 2 dates. Then something goes south. I try to be funny and witty, which works with openers, but I need to flip the switch to escalation and being SMOOTH to seal the deal! I feel like I have read almost everything out there so please my brother, let me know if you have any advice. I appreciate all that you've done and anything you can do to help me. Thank you!”

And just a week ago, another commenter, xChaser, this time on the post about anxiety in men, asked about something very similar, saying:

“Hi Chase,

I again want to let you know you blog is impacting lot of guys lives. I have improved a lot from implementing what's discussed here. I have one request on a topic that pretty much helps the new guys not end up wasting lot of time.

Basically what I noticed is as we gain in knowledge, we get more succesful at dealing with girls, but after moving quite forward in the interaction sometimes [after] a small mistake the girl drops you like a ball, never to recover.

Could you cover a topic around this major critical point where you up the ante and at least during initial days avoid those traps rather getting dropped flat after spending so much time on the girl.

I guess you got my point.

Thanks in advance,
xChaser”

Both commenters are asking about something I call "transition points" – those moments in an interaction with a woman where it's time for you to take things to the next level... if you can only figure out how.

Most guys can't, and drop the ball, as xChaser put it.

But what if you didn't drop the ball?

What if you could handle transition points like a pro every time?

What I'm asking is... what if you knew how to be smooth?

Because that's what I'm going to teach you to be today.

Threats and Opportunities: The Difference These Make in Seduction

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By: Chase Amante

We've talked a bit on here about threats and opportunities in the past already, but I wanted to take some time today and really dive into the differences between these two mentalities and how they affect your success in pickup, dating, seduction, and relationships, because they're of great importance.

threats and opportunities

On the article about anxiety in men, JFav comments:

“Hey chase! After reading thru a lot of these comments one theme I think keeps reoccurring is the guys who have improved have all embraced one thing. And I believe one of the many things you and some other guys have embraced is your "inexperience." More specifically you guys embrace mistakes not as bad things but as learning tools. I could almost see some of you doing things you KNOW were "wrong" just to CHECK if it could be right.

I've gotten that sense from a lot of your post Chase because I know you are a guy that likes to decode and really get to the core of things. So, I'd love to hear some of your thoughts on my epiphany moment that "mistakes are just learning experiences."

I'd love to see a post where you talk about the time when you were learning pick up and seduction and how you questioned things asking yourself "could this really work" or "there's NO WAY that could work" And I'd love to hear some stories about how you said "F it I'm gonna try it anyways just in case he could be right"”

At the core of J's realization here is the opportunity he'd been missing in situations with women before, when he'd been blinded by the threat present in those situations. As he notes, I went through a similar transformation in my approach to women and dating, as have every guy who's reached a point where he's broken through to the site where learning is fun and no longer scary.

How do you break through, defeat timidity and apprehension, and free yourself from the feeling of "threats?" It's partly experience and exposure... but it's also partly something else.

20 Ways to Talk to Women and Make It AMAZING

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By: Chase Amante

Lately we've had a number of readers asking about more ways to talk to women and keep the conversation going. Here's JFav, answering the question of what he'd like to see in the new forum's bonus book:

“Love to see something on keeping the conversation going. Some strategies a newbie could possibly use to deep dive.”

Wanting to know more about conversation, particularly for newer guys.

talk to women

And on the recent article about how to pick up girls shopping, Maxz commented:

“Hey Chase, another rocking article.

Question for you man, I have been having problems on the conversational aspect of the game lately. When you talk about deep diving and all, is it all about asking girls qestions about themselves? I can't seem to truly crack this nut. Some of the girls I have talked to lately, we usually just end up in strange silences at some point in the conversation. What kind of easy probing questions will you suggest to carry on these conversations?

Thanks Chase, love every single lessons on here.”

I referred Maxz to a few articles to help him get his bearings, but I realize that a lot of guys need a more basic layout of how to talk to women properly than is laid out in the article on deep diving or being a conversationalist.

So, today's article has been put together to be exactly that: talking to women for beginners (with a few neat tips thrown in here and there to spice things up for the old pros), broken down into four lessons with five points each - a total of 20 ways to talk to women and make it go swimmingly.

Let's dive in.

How to Pick Up Girls Shopping for Gifts or Groceries

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By: Chase Amante

pick up girls shoppingIt's the holiday season, and that means one thing: time to pick up girls out shopping!

If you don't have much experience picking up women who are out shopping for shoes or shellfish, you might think this is rather hard... I mean, walking up to some girl in the middle of a well-lit store and just... hitting on her? Isn't that obvious?

Actually, there are a number of more-or-less smooth ways of going about running pickups in shopping areas, whether malls or shops or grocery stores. A bit of a sense of humor and a good handle on indirect game helps; while you can use direct openers out shopping, they often come off a bit too strong.

Mostly, what you'll be focused on creating in a shopping environment is a feeling of fate, fortune, or destiny... you and the girl met because you simply had to meet. It was written in the stars.

Today, we'll talk about how you go about creating that feeling, and help you bring some holiday cheer into the lives of some beautiful, lonely women out in the wide world.

Anxiety in Men: Where It Comes From and How to Stop It

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By: Chase Amante

There've been a handful of commenters recently asking about an article on anxiety in men, including this one, the first of these more recent requests:

“Hi Chase,

A slight digression from the post, hope you can add your two cents to this. You mentioned avoid being the guy who's "racked with anxiety". Throughout most of my life, I have been plagued with anxiety. My mother suffers from anxiety and I believe it has significantly influenced my development. In high school, though I was part of the cool crowd, i knew at the very core, I was extremely uncomfortable around other people. To hide my weakness, I would put on a facade that consisted of being a loud, obnoxious, "bad-ass" person.

I have matured from this and instead of living through a mask, i want to tackle my anxiety head-on. My belief is that, just like anything, gradual exposure will ultimately desensitize. I have been forcing myself to approach strangers and make conversations on a daily basis with this belief in mind. It's been a difficult journey though. Correct me if I'm wrong but through reading your ebook and blog posts, I take it you've gone through a phase of social anxiety/general anxiety yourself as well. If you could be so kind to share with me how you tackled your social anxiety, specific "exercises" that you found extremely helpful, anything you think is worth mentioning, it would truly be a boon to my development.

Many thanks,
Jack”

Jack, sure, I can go through this a bit. It's a little off topic from what we normally talk about, but I think it ties in well to being more successful with women and dating, so let's have a look.

anxiety in men

This'll be a more personal post for me, similar to the one on how to overcome depression, simply because it's one I've had a lot of experience with and spent a long time stuck in. Anxiety and depression are quite often part-and-parcel to one another, so you might even think of this as the sequel to that post: defeating anxiety.

Why Chasing Women Doesn’t Work and Why Persistence Does

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By: Chase Amante

We've had a few questions on here lately about the difference between chasing women vs. persisting with women. A few weeks back William B. raised the point when I asked for ideas on what the new forum's bonus book should be on:

“I'd like to see something fleshing out the nuances between chasing and persistence.”

And more recently, a commenter on the article on how to find the woman you want asked:

“I guess what i want to know is how does all this play in with not chasing her...if you leave enough time between your proposals it doesn't count as chasing?”

I've seen a few other people ask about it on other articles as well.

What's the difference between chasing women and persisting with them, anyway? Aren't they one and the same?

chasing women

Actually, the two are VERY different - and women are right for desiring persistent men to a point... and fleeing from men who chase after that point.

Let's have a look at why that is, and how you can better walk the line between chasing and persistence.

Carnival of Dating Advice, 11th Edition

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By: Chase Amante

carnival of dating advice

Welcome, friends, to the 11th edition of the Carnival of Dating Advice, with a great sampling of articles from across the blogosphere on relationships, dating, pickup, and more.

The pickings aren't as thick this week as the past several - I had to turn away some not particularly fitting applicants at the door (including an article on gay bars, one on how fornication is against the Word of God, and one on how sexual predators troll online for kids... it's always interesting). But we've still got four solid articles here from three of our regular submitters, and one new one; check them out below.

On with the carnival...

How to Find the Woman You Most Want: A 10-Step Process

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By: Chase Amante

Many a man's search to secure for himself the woman he most desires ends in disappointment; unable to get the girl of his dreams, he settles for someone a little less beautiful, a little less intelligent, a little less charming, a little less ideal than he imagined he ever would.

She's good enough, he tells himself... but in the back of his mind, he always wonders if he could've found her had he kept looking; that perfect woman for him.

how to find a woman

It's a large part of the reason so many men in the West drag out their relationships into these extended courtships now, with no real direction or purpose. And when you ask them where their relationships are headed, as a friend; whether they are going to stay with this girl or marry her, even after they've been with her for two or more years, they only tell you, "I don't know."

If she was their DREAM girl, they'd know then, though. They'd tell you, "Yes," of course, and they'd tell it to you in a heartbeat.

But where do you even begin looking for a girl like that? And how do you get her, when there's so much competition out there looking for a girl like her, and so few girls who are like her themselves?

That's what this post is about; on how to find the woman you most want. I'm going to show you why most men - and most women - never really find the person of their dreams, what paths you must be willing to take if you truly want to find yours, and what the 10 steps are that will ultimately lead you there... to her.

Note: for guys who've been reading this site for a while, much of this will be review. However, you might find interesting the notes on settling - that hasn't been discussed as much. In any event, read on...

How to Break the Ice: 5 Surefire Ways to Entice Her

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By: Chase Amante

how to break the iceWhen I was in college, a bunch of my floor mates wanted to know how to break the ice, and as a result started bandying around a new line to use with women. It went like this:

Guy: Hey, do you know how much a polar bear weighs?

Girl: No... how much?

Guy: Enough to break the ice! Hi, I'm Hal.

It's cute, but fortunately for you, there are many more ways you can use to break the ice with women that are a lot less cheesy than this.

Ice-breaking is a "line" than it is a technique, done properly. And there's more to ice-breaking than simply starting a new conversation.

In the article "How to Be Playful: 4 Tips You'll NEED," on the function of playfulness, I noted:

“Socially talented men employ playfulness for exactly TWO reasons:
  1. Breaking the ice, and
  2. Reducing tension
... that's it. Playfulness only serves those two functions. They're two sides of the same coin, really - the "ice" that you break is really just the tension that comes before initiating a conversation where no one really knows what to say yet to do that.”

And what I'm going to talk about in this article is exactly that - reducing tension, and breaking the ice. Although there are some differences between the two, there's a lot of overlap as well... so we'll cover both in this post.