Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Does it seem like most girls are awful, horrid, mean-spirited bitches? If it does, it’s a sign you’re doing something wrong – and that’s a good thing (it means you can fix it).

Does it seem to you that almost every girl you meet is just an unnecessarily mean person?

Do you ever find yourself wondering why so many girls are just horrid, ruthless bitches?

Commenting on my article that "Female Bad Behavior Is Often Defensive", Xander writes:

Ok. I agree if bad behavior is one-off interaction that doesn’t mean anything. However, even in this case if that negative reaction is overly negative i.e. overly expressed toward guy (and most women do this at least where I live) that is also the sign that particular woman can be considered as bad person. Many guys (at least what I have seen) don’t do overly annoying things with women and still get overly negative reactions from uninterested/unsure/insecure women.

Also, what I have seen is that the majority of women where I live rarely changes previously negative attitude toward guy. If she is negative during approach, initial interaction or later in courtship she stays that way no matter what guy will do. In live interactions they are rude, bitchy, aloof or disrespectful and it just increases no matter what new tech or moment guy will choose. In online/text interactions they ghost immediately after 2-3 messages, no matter how message is interesting, non-pushy, polite and easy to reply.

I feel sad whenever I read comments like these, for the person who writes them, because you know that person's dating life is hard.

I have read many, many comments by men talking about how horrible most women are. I have also read many, many analogous comments by women panning men (on various Reddit boards and what have you; here's an article about how horrid men are to women, with a bunch of women commenting their bad experiences).

If you take these comments at face value, both most men and most women are absolutely loathsome people: bad dates, bad lovers, and almost all men and women are totally undatable, unpleasant individuals.

It makes you wonder how the species perpetuates itself at all.

Of course, the reality is most men and most women are actually just fine, normal, nice, pleasant people... but that people who have continually negative experiences cause this in others, or misinterpret that from others, almost always without realizing they're causing it or misinterpreting it.

Calibration allows you to fluidly conduct social interactions with others. How do you develop it, though? There are several ways, but they all involve talking with other people.

Other people are similar to you in many ways. Yet they also have their differences.

People tend to veer too far in one way or the other, either assuming excess similarity or assuming excess differences between people. Depending on which way you veer, your baseline approach to calibration will differ.

For example, if you tend to assume everyone is just like you, your main calibration task becomes to identify ways people are different, and adjust your behavior to compensate for the differences between you and them.

On the other hand, if you are someone who assumes most people are nothing like you, you need to train yourself to be much more aware of the similarities between yourself and others, to bridge the gaps between you.

Achieving a balanced sense of how alike someone is to you, as well as in what particular ways he is different, and what he is most responsive to, and using that sense to adapt your interaction with him, leads you to calibration.

All calibration is is the treatment of someone in a way effective for that individual; a way that gels with his likes, preferences, and motivators.

The better you calibrate, the more easily people will like and respond to you, plus do what you ask them to do.

People will view a calibrated individual as more alike them, more understanding of them, and less mysterious and unfathomable to them, too.