Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Girl Hunting: Pickiness vs. Selectiveness

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By: Chase Amante

girl standards pickyMany guys are ‘too picky’ with girls. They ignore good-looking and great girls. Then end up alone, or stuck with girls who are bad news. You must escape this trap.

Here's a couple of concepts I want to differentiate for newer (and maybe some not-so-newer) guys:

Those of pickiness vs. selectiveness.

If you've read my stuff on screening for both long-term commitment as well as for girls you'll hook up with in one-night stands, you know how much I harp on screening out girls who aren't a fit and/or will cause you problems.

I've cited science that shows men are a lot less discriminating about the women they start relationships with than women are men, and that men look for red flags a lot less.

In other words, men are a lot more likely to stumble into relationship quicksand.

However, there is a flip side to all this discrimination you want to employ as a dater, and that is this: if you are too picky about the wrong things, you can also stunt your growth as a seducer and make it nigh impossible to get enough experience to progress.

This is the double side of being discriminating: you must be discriminating enough, without being too much so.

You must be selective without being overly picky.

Women Are Totally Obsessed with Sex (in Many Ways More So Than Guys)

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By: Chase Amante

girls horny all the timeSome guys seem to think women are ‘innocent’. The actual fact is women are obsessed with sex. They think, talk, and fantasize about it constantly.

Look closely at the picture on the right. What do you see?

I circled it for you. There just below this girl's hand. See it?

It's a dildo.

For all you guys worried about your penis size, you might want to pay attention to the size of that dildo too. That water bottle is 7". The dildo is at least an inch shorter than it... actually possibly a bit more than an inch shorter.

There is this misconception among sexually less experienced men that women don't actually get horny except in extreme situations.

"Only when she meets just the right guy... and he says just the right things... and takes just the right actions... does a woman get horny..."

Women do upkeep on this misconception themselves, talking about how "men are always horny, OMG" or "all men think about is sex" or "why are men so much hornier than women."

But the truth is, women are total horndogs themselves.

You might not believe it (yet) if you're not that experienced with them.

However, once you get out of the illusory la-la land men are in before they gain experience with women, your eyes will start to open more and more, and you'll realize the vast majority of women -- including the sweetest, cutest, most innocent of gals -- really love themselves some cock.

Influence Half-Life: While Away, You're Losing Influence

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By: Chase Amante

influence half-lifeInfluence has a half-life... and every moment you're not with someone, your influence over that person decays.

Riddle me this: why is it that some women, while with you, can be utterly captivated by you... then they leave your side and you never hear from them again?

Why is it that some women can be in a relationship and totally compliant with you, yet you send them off for a few days into the hands of their workmates or their wild party friends, and by the time they get back to you you're dealing with full-on rebellion?

Why is it that a girl will agree with you completely and tell you you are right about something, yet after a few days away she comes back and says "Actually you're wrong" and you have to have the same argument all over again?

It's because influence has a half-life, and every time you're away from her, your interest decays.

Your ability to influence another person is in direct proportion to that person's level of sustained exposure to you.

The less sustained that exposure is, the less strong the influence, and the more quickly it falls apart.

Tactics Tuesdays: 3% Frames (Push Her Off the Fence)

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By: Chase Amante

3% framesDo you keep running into the same objections? Construct frames that circumvent these (and increase your odds by 3-5%).

I know a guy who always struggles with chemistry with women.

He doesn't do things exactly quite right. He uses all the right tactics and techniques with women, but he uses them in this way that is just a little bit 'off'.

When you try to point it out to him, he insists that in fact he is doing everything correctly. Then he says it must be a problem with the technique or that the technique doesn't work for him.

Regardless the reason, he constantly runs into issues where he has what he thinks is a great date, followed by the woman telling him at the end of it (or texting him later on) that she "just isn't feeling it."

"There's no chemistry," she says. Or "I didn't feel a spark."

I can't get him to fix the vibe/calibration issues. He doesn't see these as a real problem, probably because he's unable to pick up on this issue himself, even when women point it out or coaches point it out.

However, I wanted to help him, so gave him a tool I knew he could use: a 3% frame to help push things his way in those edge cases where it could go either way, but "I'm not feeling a spark" is the deciding factor.

Heartwarming Nice Guy Friend Zone Success Stories

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By: Chase Amante

friend zone successGuys share their stories of getting together with their friend zone friends after 10 or more years. You’ll be misty-eyed and your heart will be warmed.

There's a heartwarming thread on Reddit where a bunch of nice guys share their friend zone success stories.

"I finally married the girl I've been friends with for over 10 years!" the lead post exclaims.

The lucky bridegroom shared a photograph of himself and the girl he finally netted after 10 long years (image to the right).

She embraces him in that manly way, cupping his breasts with her hands, as he stands butt-to-crotch with his back arched and his head cast back, gazing at her over his shoulder in a high effort "I'm doing more work to look at you than you are at me" sort of fashion.

Cheered on by this gleeful friend-getter's example, other men swiftly piled in to share their own good fortunes:

It is 100% possible to escape the friendzone.

I am currently in a relationship like that. Years and years invested into our friendship. And things finally worked out. And now we're planning our wedding.

You are a fucking rockstar OP. Absolute legend.

There's nothing quite so legendary as toughing it out in the friend zone for a decade before you finally get some. This is the stuff heroes are forged from.

Another commentator remarks with helpful advice to the previous one, saying:

This simply means you only thought you were in the friend zone. You can tell that you weren't because you aren't.

Wise words, /u/Aspect-of-Death.

When you think you're in the friend zone, then after years you start dating her, it means you were never in the friend zone all along.

So how does one know if one's truly in the friend zone or not?

Only years or decades of patience can tell you for sure.

Here's another Redditor sharing his happy outcome:

Congrats guys! I married an amazing woman that I had known and been friends with for 16 years. One day something just clicked and we couldn't be more in love.

All it took was 16 years and one day something clicked and she realized she wanted him too.

I wonder what clicked?

Tactics Tuesdays: Be Happy as You Lead Her Out the Door

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lead her outWhen you escalate but she stops you cold, it can be awkward walking her out. To keep things cool (and raise the odds you see her again & bed her later), be merry as you walk her out.

Every guy has girls he pulls home who don’t go to bed with him.

Maybe she stopped you at the kiss, or maybe you got too shy and didn’t go for it.

Or maybe you made it somewhere into the escalation, only to hit a wall of last minute resistance you failed to overcome.

Regardless, you brought her back, hoped to get together with her, then it fizzled out.

In the end, you had to lead her out the door.

If you’re a reader on this site, you know that once she crosses that threshold, without ending up your lover, the odds she’s ever coming back plummet.

Nevertheless, there’s something you can do as you walk her out that increases those odds – not to 50/50, but at least to the point where you’ve still got a fighting chance.

Breaking Up with a Girl: What You'll Experience (and How to Manage)

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By: Chase Amante

breaking up experienceBreaking up can pull you through a wringer. How you handle a breakup, and how you manage your emotions and recovery, will determine where you go from there.

When you break up with a girl, it won’t always be an easy process.

Some breakups go down easy. The ones where you weren’t overly attached to the girl, and you part as friends. Or the ones where for whatever reason you never got all that into her.

Those breakups, a lot of the time, can be smooth breakups.

Yet even those can sometimes have hiccups.

The tough breakups (whether it’s expected or not) are the ones where your emotions play games with you post-breakup.

They stretch you around like Silly Putty and break you to pieces like a ceramic pot.

How you handle yourself in the weeks and months after a breakup determine the life you’ll lead following it.

In Seduction (Like So Many Things), Seeing Is Believing

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By: Chase Amante

seduction seeing is believingUntil you see something, you'll be hard-pressed to believe it. That includes some of the more incredible things you can pull off with seduction.

When I was a seduction neophyte, I had this idea in my head: "Quick pickups will work with loose, low value girls. But really super, scaldingly hot girls could never in a million billion years be picked up fast. Those girls know their value."

For a few years my experience bore that out. I neither picked up super hot girls super quick, or even all that often, nor did I encounter anyone who did.

We might call this a 'stable mental model'.

2.5 years into my seduction career, I made a friend who consistently slept with lots of hot girls, some of whom were very hot. Some of those girls he bedded quick... but all the quick ones there'd be some caveat or other with.

So with each of them I'd be able to tell myself, "He met that girl on MySpace, and MySpace girls are all kinda screwed up. So yeah, she's super hot, and she shagged him on a quick first date, but doesn't invalidate the rule," and my mental model remained (mostly) intact.

Then I went traveling with a mentor and watched him pick up an insanely beautiful girl exceptionally quick. A year later I was in this same mentor's town on business and here, too, I watched him pick up very, very good-looking girls at lightning speed and bed them (and I'd be along for the ride, winging him on the girl's friend, racing through pickups happening way faster than any I'd ever put together myself at that point).

That made me realize, "Wow, it actually is possible to pick up extremely hot girls extremely fast."

But I still had some reservations.

I thought, for instance, that a more reserved very hot girl, like the girlfriend I had at the time, wouldn't go for that sort of thing. I knew her, after all, and knew she wouldn't.

Then we broke up, and a few months later I read her journal, and discovered my gorgeous, high value ex-girlfriend, whom I thought was oh-so-judicious about her sexuality, let some banker she met outside a nightclub while on the rebound from me pork her up the butt.

It took me a few weeks to fully process how this girl, who had guys drooling over her wherever I took her, and always seemed like the absolute cream of the crop to me, would end up taking anal from some guy off the street she met on the rebound.

"My sweet princess, my one-time soul mate, lying on the floor of some dingy apartment in hippie-central Ocean Beach getting reamed by the meat shaft of a random she just met." That takes a moment to get your head around.

In the end, I arrived at a very different understanding of women than what I had going in, and this shift altered everything for me.

It was a great shift -- a breakthrough shift -- that allowed me to start doing the same thing I'd watched that mentor do, and the same thing that banker did to that former girlfriend of mine.

It allowed me to pick up very good-looking women, very quick.

A year later, it was friends and students of mine going out with me, watching me pick up extremely hot girls, extremely quick, and coming to me the next day saying, "I cannot believe you got that girl. And I cannot believe how fast you got her."

Then going on for a bit about how they did not believe a girl like that would even hook up with guys that fast.

Then, a bit later still, I ended up on a phone call with the ex-boyfriend of a girl I shagged (long story how I ended up talking to that guy), who could not believe how quickly this beautiful, intelligent, highly educated girl he'd wanted to marry had jumped at light speed into bed with a guy like me. I felt bad for the guy... he began the call with a long and drawn-out sigh that told me he felt in that moment exactly the way I'd felt reading my ex's journal a few years back.

What I'd seen done, I came to do. What I'd witnessed embodied, I came to embody.

I'd never have had that transformation just from someone telling me about it.

I had to see it. I had to experience it first.

So much in seduction (and life) is this way.

Tactics Tuesdays: Flake-Proof Date Plans

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By: Chase Amante

flake-proof date plansTired of girls flaking on dates with you? Then it's time to flake-proof your date plans. That is: make it so flakes no longer affect your life (or dating).

I know what you're thinking: "Is Chase about to tell me how to set up dates women will NEVER flake on?"

Well, no... no I'm not.

Sorry to disappoint.

There's no way to totally avoid flakes. They are a natural part of dating life.

However, I'm going to give you the next best thing:

Ways to flake-proof your date plans, that way when girls flake, they don't bug you or inconvenience you beyond the absolute bare minimum.

How Should Men Move to Maximize Their Attractiveness?

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men movement attractiveWhat goes into attractive male movement? Speed, deliberateness, 'interestingness', and more. And the more you add, the sexier your movement becomes.

Your movement style says a lot about you.