Social Life

Disrespect can be direct – but often it’s cloaked. This article walks you through the many types of disrespect… and shows you how to recognize them.

In the first article of this series, we learned that the love of self is your greatest ally with women and socializing.

Then, in Part II, we tackled the three biggest myths others use to convince you that pride is bad.

If you haven’t read the other two articles yet, they’re not absolutely required reading for this part; it functions fine as a standalone article too. But I recommend you give them a read if you want the full picture we’ve been painting on respect.

In today’s article, Part III, we’ll get into how to recognize disrespectful behavior. We’ll also cover a few ways to tackle such behavior, though next time, in Part IV, we’ll really get into the details on how to deal with it.

On with Part III: what is and is not disrespect?

Gratitude is a strong signifier of a socially calibrated individual. Not only does it help your interactions, but it increases your attractiveness, too.

This Thanksgiving, I figured I’d talk about gratitude.

One of the tools I’ve long used offhand to gauge someone else’s level of social calibration is whether and when he says thank you for things.

“Thank you” is a powerful phrase. It can be used to build bonds, to reward, or even to manipulate. Its absence can rub people the wrong way and cause them to see you as ungrateful and uncalibrated. It can raise your attainability, used right, or plummet it, if it isn’t given when it’s expected.

Beyond its effect on others, your use of gratitude affects you too. Thanking others reminds you you aren’t on your own; that you are part of a society, aiding others and being aided in turn.

In this article, we’ll focus on the effects on others when you use – or forget to use – gratitude.

But don’t forget the power it has to make you feel good too. Giving thanks for what you’re grateful for pays its own great dividends.

If you want respect, you must be able to demand respect. The first part of this, however, is to realize you will never destroy your ego – so you might as well work with it.

There is an undercurrent of pseudo-philosophical thinking in the manosphere and the seduction community that needs to be revealed for what it is.

I have also been guilty of allowing this false thinking. This is as much a self-correction as it is a monumental criticism that strikes at the heart of many a grandmaster’s conclusion.

I call it the Egolessness Fallacy.

It is the fallacious thinking that having no ego is the best way to succeed with women.

The thinking goes as such: “Without an ego, where is thy sting, rejection?” There is no one there to be rejected.

This is *very* close to truth, but that which is closest to truth but not truth is the most devious lie.

I reckon this is how the falsity was woven.

If you go far enough in any skill, you will learn how to learn. You will learn how you learn, which means you’ll come to know how emotions affect you, stick with you, and how your thinking works.

The journey of seduction is perhaps one of the most direct paths to learning oneself, save for meditation, since you are the subject who is both acting and being evaluated. In any sport, you are the one carrying the ball or kicking the ball, yes, but the end goal is something impersonal. The other team or your team gets scored on. You are somewhat detached from the loss or victory (though it doesn’t always feel that way, of course).

With game, however, the woman has to accept you for there to be victory.

Furthermore, victory is mutual. You get pussy and she gets cock. You both win.

This means you are not so focused on the other person losing as you are with a traditional sport; you’re instead focused on two paradoxical outcomes.

You need her to want to submit to you.

However, the paradox is revealed when you consider that a woman does not submit to her equal or subordinate. It doesn’t make sense. She wants to submit, but she doesn’t win by submitting to a man who can’t make her submit.

One could be equitable and argue you need to be more dominant than her, but in practicality, this is going to look and feel like you are greater than her. Philosophize all you want, you must be her superior if you want to have sex fast.

You > her.

Don’t see the paradox yet? Alright, here it is.

The party lifestyle can pay lots of dividends in friends, fun, and women. To plan a great party requires your focus on 5 key areas: people, angle, and more.

We've had guys on Girls Chase asking me for years for a party planning guide that will help guys make awesome friends and meet beautiful girls. Most of the women I meet I meet via cold approach (i.e., I see a girl I like wherever, so I just go talk to her). And most of my friends I've met either via other friends or from forums (often private forums) I participate on.

However, there was a time I used to throw parties. Great parties, exclusive parties, with high status men and beautiful women.

Sometimes I threw big parties, with hundreds of people in attendance. And more often I threw smaller soirees with 25 to 40 people (which are generally easier to manage and better to connect with people at... and hook up at).

I didn't start off good at party planning. The first party I threw, a Halloween house party a few days before the holiday (back in 2007), saw a total of four people show up: one close friend of mine at the time, who flew down from Chicago for what he thought would be a legendary bash, and three random guys sent there by some girl I'd asked to come (she didn't come, but she sent some dudes I didn't know over. First rule of party planning: random dudes showing up = not ideal). This after I'd spent weeks preparing for the party – my decorations were awesome! – and loads of cash on drinks, candy, and other snacks. My friend, myself, and the three random dudes ended up heading to a bar after about 40 minutes when no one else showed up.

I spent the next 3.5 years going to every party I could and picking the brains of the party planners before I felt confident enough to try another party of my own. And once I did start to throw my own parties, unlike that first attempt these parties were hits.

What I learned along the way, from first flop to final bash, was how to plan a party a lot more people showed up to... for, in general, a lot less work.

This is my guide to that. And while it will be easier than what I did in 2007 for that go-nowhere bash, it'll still be some work – don't think this will be a cake walk.

It's going to be work. But if you want to build the kinds of parties that make all your wildest party dreams come true, and be the man of the hour yourself, you're going to want to build them yourself, too.

Inside every man is a beast. Yet how to use this beast in the context of civilization? In civil society, the man must tame his beast – but not kill it.

The end is nigh.

• In part 1 of this series, we discussed how we live in a primal and violent world that has little mercy for weakness.

• In part 2, we talked about how you need to cultivate a primal ferocity if you want to survive in this world, let alone thrive. This ferocity helps you socially and sexually.

• In part 3, we covered some habits and mannerisms that will help you cultivate and demonstrate your ferocity.

• Then, in the penultimate article, we covered how to transmute this animalistic energy into the bedroom and make your girl’s bed rock like a Flintstone.

Now, for the culmination of the series, I want to cover how to be primal but civilized and how to understand the difference between cold, civilized power and primal power.

Fundamentals are the vehicle for your game. Game, being nothing more or less than the ability to get someone to do what you want, is itself verbal, but the performance of a seduction includes much more than that. It's the way you speak and the way you act. Very often, it's not what you say, but what you don't say.

You’ve changed towns, but you don’t know anyone. How can you get started in a new city? This guide shows you how.

You’re about to move to a completely new city... or you’ve already moved there. It’s exciting, it’s fresh, and it’s a little scary. Here is this novel metropolis where you don’t know anyone.

It could be filled with opportunity: awesome new friends, beautiful new girlfriends, delicious new food. Wondrous new places to see, riveting new activities to partake in.

Or it could be lonesome, boring, and fill you with homesickness for your old abode.

How will you know? You won’t know until you’ve been there a while. But there’s a secret most social veterans who’ve moved around a bit know: what makes a place is not so much the place itself, but the people you know there, and the things you do there.

A well-connected guy with lots of cool friends, pretty girlfriends, and fun things to do in an otherwise small and boring town will live a better, fuller, more exciting life than a lonely guy who doesn’t go out and doesn’t know anyone, even if that guy lives in the biggest, most interesting city on Earth.

So our focus is to turn you into the well-connected guy who knows lots of outstanding people and does lots of outstanding things... no matter how big or small or busy or not his new town might be.

You’re going to learn how to get started in a new city. And in particular, you’re going to learn how to do that in a way that maximizes your exposure to excellent friends, women, locations, and activities.

This articles divides into sections each of those four items (friends, women, locations, activities). You can jump around with the table of contents if you prefer to skim and don’t want to read the whole piece in a single sitting. But for the maximum new city experience, I suggest you go through the full article.

We’ll begin this article with a look at location: where in town you should go for fun, and where in town you should live.