Brain Hacks

For civilization to thrive, is social control a necessity? Perhaps, but we must be mindful of people and groups who seek to manipulate us to our detriment.

Social control. It sounds very 1984-ish, doesn’t it?

It is, in some ways. In others, it’s natural and understandable.

It's something that is always pulling at you – the social equivalent of gravity. Even from long distances, it has an effect.

And it comes from everyone.

When we think of “social control,” we get the idea that there’s some monolithic, maleficent force specifically targeting us and trying to get us to bend.

It is not so simple.

Yes, there are diverse and powerful organizations which are trying to control you. It could be a news station, a top-followed Instagram account, a religious body, or a government.

Those organizations include individuals, all of whom have personal agendas, both hidden and open.

Those people may all pledge allegiance to a common goal, but even then, the purity of their commitment to the group and their interpretation of that group’s goal may differ, person to person.

If a group of people aligns tightly with a singular goal, or at least the messages they deliver (e.g., a news station’s regular broadcasts) echo this singular goal or plan, the effectiveness of that social control is heightened.

Given your life experiences, and by doing some imaginative math about how many different groups are trying to control you, it is clear that you are being pulled in many directions.

The way I see it, even more confusing is that none of these groups are evil or good.

Of course, you have a moral stance and will judge various influences as good, neutral, or evil, but from a bird’s eye view, there is simply an array of consequences that occur because of your actions and everyone else’s actions.

I’m not here to moralize, but I am here to argue from the point of this website’s goals. There are social controls that inhibit your sexual freedom and ability as a man to forge his destiny.

I’m here to point out some of the biggest influences that attempt to control you, as I believe them antithetical to the goal of having a free and abundant position in the sexual marketplace.

There are hundreds of influences being thrust upon you every day, but here are 14 of the most powerful social controls that I believe you should be aware of and resist, as they inhibit your ability to be the best man you can be.

These social controls try to do one thing: convince you to adopt a belief.

If they can convince you that X is bad and Y is good, then you will follow their agenda or reinforce their worldview. It’s that simple.

To make you aware of social control, I will explain what “they” try to make you believe, the motivation behind that attempt at social control; I'll provide examples of who will try to convince you of this control. As you’ll see, “they” can’t actually stop you from doing what you want, and in most cases, they can only convince you – through shame and fear – how to act.

It’s a misconception that women are not attracted to aggressive men. The truth: women go nuts for aggressive men who show their sexual desire in the right way.

Have you ever noticed how well some guys do with women? If you’re a nice guy, you might see these dudes and wonder what makes them so special, and why women like them so much. Maybe you’ve seen them at nightclubs with a stunner in heels, or maybe you’ve seen your natural friend pull girls over and over again.

The chances are that – even though I’m not talking about one specific man – you can still picture the kind of dominant, masculine, and ultimately aggressive guy that I’m talking about.

A key reason these guys get women is because they show their desire. At a very basic level, any guy who wants a girl must show his desire towards her. A girl may throw indicators of interest and other signals towards a guy, but if he doesn’t show his desire, girls often move on.

There’s another key facet here that separates the average guy from the guy who actually succeeds often. Naturals, players, and men who know how the game works understand that it is actually their aggressiveness that distinguishes them from most men. That aggressiveness – their willingness to take risks with women and go after what they want – draws women into their world.

Aggressive guys get girls more often. If you’re gaming and you want women, you must show the women around you aggressive desire, and go after them aggressively.

If you keep asking yourself why you suck so bad with women while all these other dudes are getting laid, there are probably some things you aren’t taking into account.

Lately, I’ve been writing a lot of posts to debunk common ideas that I believe are wrong. I decided to follow up with a problem I see a lot of men suffering from – and that I also struggled with.

That is when you start comparing yourself to other men’s success. You see them with girls and feel inferior. This happens especially when you don’t find yourself in female company. You start seeing these other men – either willingly or unwillingly – as superior to you.

It isn’t a good feeling, and it doesn’t result in any kind of productive mindset when it comes to meeting women – quite the contrary. You usually start experiencing this feeling when you have a crappy night. You’re already in a bad place, so feeling inferior creates a vicious circle.

This post is designed to debunk some common misconceptions, but it’s more of a fact check that will help you avoid harmful biases about your own and others’ success.

First things first – we shouldn’t care about whether other people succeed or not unless it has an impact on our own interactions. However, many of us do care.

The fear of approaching women is a major hurdle for a lot of guys. By adopting these key mindsets, you’ll realize there is nothing to fear but fear itself.

Hey guys, welcome back. Last week, we discussed some tips and tricks for dealing with the fear of rejection – i.e., managing the anxiety that keeps you from approaching women.

Here’s what was discussed:

• It’s totally normal to experience approach anxiety

• Most guys feel anxious about approaching women

• Those who don’t feel any anxiety tend to be uncalibrated

• Even experienced players face lower-level anxiety at times

• It is hard – if not impossible – to completely get rid of approach anxiety

• You can do things to effectively manage it

We discussed strategies that, if implemented, should make approaching easier for you. Today, we will go deeper and add some simple-yet-powerful mindsets you can – and should – apply that will make the whole process even simpler.

These are mindsets that I have used in the past with great success. I have also shared them with friends, co-seducers, and newbies. This post is suited for everyone still struggling with approaching women. These mindsets can be used for both day game and night game.

Approach anxiety can make it extremely difficult to meet women. While likely incurable, it can be effectively managed with these simple, practical tips.

I have heard from many good seducers and players who, despite all their success and experience with women, still feel approach anxiety.

They, too, get that tingly feeling in their chest while their minds play tricks on them, holding them back from meeting potentially amazing women.

Not approaching because of anxiety is sad because you might be missing out on many fun adventures and amazing women. I know many of you hate having this feeling of anxiety.

So, does this mean there is no hope for you? Not at all. You can drastically reduce your anxiety, but you will have to force yourself to do it... and reconquer it every time you go out.

The subject of today’s post will be approach anxiety management – why you have it and practical steps to minimize it. Next week, I’ll discuss some powerful mindsets that will help you take action.

Gorgeous women are harangued by clueless, needy guys since the day they blossom. That’s why they bolt at the first sign of neediness… and chase the men who “get it.”

Every woman has an ex-boyfriend who lost his mind.

The media is ripe with crimes of passion, where men transform from lovers to stalkers, or from loyal boyfriends to controlling, jealous, domineering abusers.

They ruin it for all of us.

I used to be a very needy, weak man. Wet toast. Not the alpha-god of charisma that I am today. Even though I was incredibly insecure in grade 7, I still managed to score my first “girlfriend.” It lasted a whole week!

Her name was Despi. A beautiful, rich, Greek girl from another school. Being an introverted kid, I was shocked that she wanted me to call her. A girl likes… me?

“Despi likes Tony!?” they cried. It was my induction into the upper echelons of popularity, social proofed by a girl I didn’t even know yet. Suddenly, kids invited me to parties, sports games, and sleepovers. I was part of a different game now. An adult game without a rule book.

The first night of our short affair, I sat by the telephone, petrified, but I mustered the courage to call her. It went fine, and we agreed to go to a movie. Some nineties romantic comedy.

At the film, I sat there in a state of confusion, pumped with dopamine and adrenaline, wondering what the hell I was supposed to do. I wanted to hold her hand. Can you do that? Just pick it up? Squeeze it and play with its softness? Does she like Metallica? Nintendo? Should I ask?

We didn’t meet again after that.

Fast-forward to grade 8.

Do you get WAY more rejections than dates? Well, it’s the same for even the best seducers. Here’s how treating rejection differently can help.

Violets are blue, roses are red, without many options, seduction is dead.

I’m a true poet.

How familiar is this day-game situation? You approach a girl, give her a compliment, talk for a few minutes, get her number, text a few times, ask her out, and… nothing. She just answers “lol”, changes the subject, or flitters away like a pretty ghost.

It feels like a diss, doesn’t it? After all, you had the guts to approach her. You spent months, perhaps years, learning how to do this – to overcome your shyness, your approach anxiety. To improve everything from your appearance and body language to your worldview and lifestyle!

And she doesn’t care. Not one bit. She didn’t even ask you a single question about yourself. How dare she. You spent thousands of dollars on self-help, seminars, books, and online courses. You learned to meditate, increase your income, and build world-class social skills.

And she flakes. It’s like you’ve reverted to a San Francisco street turd.

Just last week, I went to a gay pride parade and met this lovely creature. Long, black hair down to her bum. Wide, full lips. Big, expressive eyes. I reached out my hand and she placed hers in it. I pulled her in and said, “You’re something, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” she nodded, her body pressed against mine, eyes staring straight into mine. A minute of conversation, and we kissed. Approaches don’t get much better than this.

It was “you had me at hello” game.

We were going on separate paths, so I got her number. I got home, still a bit giddy from that post-flirtation high. That evening, I texted her. Nine hours later, she replied with “Haha.” The lowest investment reply possible. So, I waited eight hours and texted her again. No reply. No “Sorry I’m not interested” or “Maybe another time.” Just annoying silence.

And I still haven’t heard from her.

“But Tony, you’re supposed to be a Grand Master Jedi Puuaah! No girls flake on real Pooooass!”

Yeah, girls flake on me, ignore me, diss me – just like you and every guru, coach, and player I know. No matter how tight your game is, most women just won’t be interested or available. They might humor you or amuse themselves at your expense, but they won’t go home with you or ever see you again. That’s just the cold reality of the game. Sniff.

But there’s some girl out there who’s down. She’s very down. It’s your job to find her. That’s why numbers matter. The more leads you have, the better your odds.