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You shouldn’t treat her like a ‘10’… Because even the most
beautiful girl is only a ‘10’ to a certain chunk of the male population.
I came across a fascinating 1968 study on male preferences in female body part sizes this weekend. The study asked men to rate various female silhouettes, like these:
Then, at a separate date, in what the male subjects thought was a separate study, the researchers had the same men answer a number of questions about themselves.
They then compared the men’s body type preferences to personality attributes and other dimensions to look for correlations. And they discovered (as you might imagine) that different types of men like different types of women.
The body type ratings men gave were of figures that looked like this:
And the personality dimensions and background details the men
provided information on covered the gamut, from social interaction
styles to what kind of magazines they read.
We’ll talk about the findings of this study and a few other ones, if you’re curious to know what your taste in women says about you. But more than that, the point of this post is going to be to give you one additional tool to help take the girls you really like off any pedestals you have them on... By driving home the point that while you might think she’s a complete 10/10, there are plenty of other men who don’t, and odds are she doesn’t even view herself that way.
Comments
I really like this article
I really like this article because I find myself extremely attracted to this girl who is a personal trainer at the gym who I didn't think was my type. She seems average and coy (hangs out with nerdy girls) in pictures but in person seems outgoing and somewhat confident strangely. I'm having a hard time figuring out which she so that I can best hit on her or figure out if I like her or not. I guess if she were one or the other I'd have to adjust the manner in which I conducted and presented myself? Her "dork" side makes me feel I can go in friendly but her "testy" side makes we think not to let my guard down and that she wants to be dominated from the get go. I know I could be attractive as a lover or as a provider, but does it make a difference in terms of her being attracted to me? I am unsure without knowing her if I would want her as a girlfriend or not, so should this change the way I approach her? On one hand, I want to just go directly up to her and give off this raw sexual vibe, but think some people would suggest talking to her gradually over little spurts. It would be slower, and less sexual, which I'm not sure if it would make her like me more or less.
I find myself asking a lot what kind of vibe I should be giving off at any given time. More social, comfortable, friendly and playful, or more direct, sexual and masculine? Is there really a right answer or does it just lead to different outcomes? I mean if I'm staring at her like she's some piece of meat and she's staring back (regardless of whether it's out of interest, curiousity or fear) then is it really appropriate to try to talk to her like some friendly stranger over the course of a few weeks (if i even did get the chance to talk to her?). Or is it about getting to sexual interest as quickly as possible and even if we were strangers and it seemed like she was attracted, I should forego all the time spent trying to get to know her and building a connection? I'm not sure if I could be both the amazing lover and the boyfriend without sacrificing a little of each, and I wonder if I could be both or if one is better than the other.
Also, I mentioned earlier that she is a trainer, and she's always working with a client. Sometimes even in a trainers' only area. This ties into what I was asking earlier, but how should I go about talking to her if there's no opportunity to talk to her without going up to her directly or having it be obvious that I'm trying to talk to her where everyone can see? I don't talk much to the other trainers and for some reason am not sure if "slow playing" is the way to go.
I really value your feedback and am stoked that I found this site!
Getting Started
Kyle-
For your situation in particular, check out this article:
Also this one, to make sure you don't fall into this trap:
In general, for getting oriented on the site, I recommend taking the diagnostic quiz (right here). That gives you the chance to evaluate about where you're at with girls, and get a book designed to get you going with the articles most relevant to you.
A few articles to make sure you read:
I'd also recommend my book, which takes you through all the most essential parts of meeting and doing well with women and gives you a framework to work off of. You can get that here.
Welcome to the site!
Chase
I don't know if my comment
I don't know if my comment went through or not, but I forgot to add... I thought about signing up for training sessions with her but thought that might be pathetic and wimpy, and potentially disastrous. I could sign up for a free consultation instead of paying for sessions with her to make it less awkward (although she'd probably figure out my intentions anyway), but might not even get assigned to her.
thanks again!
sorry for bombarding your
sorry for bombarding your comments but you have so many articles on your website. can you advise where I should start and which are the best or most important articles? perhaps after reading my comments you could get a feel for my problem areas for lack of a better word? thanks.
big boobs, big legs, big butt
It is like you read my mind. I was just about to ask about these. See, I am attracted to body a lot more than face. And, I like those like big boobs not just bigger than average but really big something like Amber Rose. Problem is I always feel they figure out my game. If I see a woman with great boobs or a khloe kardashian ass one most guys will like that. These women are in demand and also have status. And also I feel like a hypocrite when I approach because I am interested in them simply because they have a nice body and I am pretending that I did not notice. I always feel they are on to me and even though I dont want to hide I have to hide and it doesnt work for. I wish to attract these kind of women and I wish there is an article on how to attract women with big boobs, big butts who are demand and have status. And an honest answer if average guys can actually succeed with these women
Approach Girls with Big Boobs / Butts
Kee-
One approach is to give only cursory looks to women's bodies, then focus on their faces. i.e., just enough to check her out and know she isn't fat, then go talk to her and "flirt with her face." When great bodies still intimidated me, this was the approach I took. I also had the "I know she knows I really want to look at her tits" emotion, but still ended up with these girls some of the time anyway. I always just figured if she likes you, you liking her body is only going to be a plus for her.
What I do now is I will openly check a girl out if she has a great body after I've made eye contact. A la this post: How to Check Out a Girl Openly and Turn Her On. If I like her body I'm not going to pretend I don't. The fact that I approached her in the first place means she automatically knows I liked some combination of her face + hair + body + walk. I can't see her personality or know her life story from a distance, after all.
I will also sometimes stare at girls breasts while they're talking to me. Not right away usually, but once they're comfortable with me. It's not even a conscious thing, it's just something where I realize, "Oh, I'm staring at her breasts. Guess I should look at her face now." Girls don't seem to mind and it doesn't hurt me sleeping with them any. Probably helps, actually - it ups the sexual vibe in the conversation. She knows I'm not just interested in her platonically, and I'm not playing hide the banana, either. Works equally well if she has huge breasts or little tiny ones.
So, I'd say: before you're confident, just focus on her face and flirt to her face.
Once you're more comfortable being sexual though, feel free to check her out as much as you want. So long as she likes everything else about you, all this does is excite her.
As for average guys getting well-endowed girls... Sure. Just remember that great breasts or a great butt add points to her overall score, they don't determine it outright. She may have a plain face a fantastic butt, for example, and otherwise not be that smart and be kind of boring. In which case, she will tend to date a pretty normal, ordinary guy. One exceptional feature doesn't let her date awesome guys with their acts together (usually). Now, if she has a gorgeous face, perfect hair, great breasts, spectacular skin, a tiny waist, an awesome butt, and long legs, that's a different story... And if she's got all that plus an attractive personality and she knows how to take care of herself, you're going to need to upgrade yourself a fair bit from average to get her with any consistency.
Chase
Looks hot. How about behaves hot?
It's not just about the looks -- though obviously looks alone can either seal the deal or break it for most guys -- but there's also her personality and manners. Some character and behavioral traits I find very sexy in a woman and can up her a notch or two in the 1-10 or whatever attractiveness scale you use. It's like when a girl does something or carries herself in some way that makes you go, "Wow, that was hot" or "that was cute" (depending on what she did). And I'm sure this has been the case for almost every guy at some point.
I do wonder though if the variation in attraction towards personality/behavioral attractiveness is as substantial among guys as it is when it comes to looks.
Varying Preferences for Female Personality Styles
Jimbo-
Yeah, sure is.
Some guys like the fiery, feisty girl. Some guys hate this.
Some girls like the sweet, meek girl. Some guys hate this.
Some guys like the girl who cracks a lot of jokes. Some guys hate this.
Some guys like the girl who always lets them lead. Some guys hate this.
Some guys like girls who take initiative. Some guys hate this.
And so on and so forth, down through a million different personality traits. Slutty vs. virginal, dorky vs. high status, clumsy vs. graceful, girly girl vs. tomboy,etc. Huge amounts of variation.
And just as much among women in the kinds of men they like, too.
Chase
Yep, this is all true.
Yep, this is all true.
And it seems those that are into Asian women are more likely into smaller boobs/ass.
Breastfeeding in public is mostly a White people issue, as most Hispanic and Black men are into the ass. And it's hard to find men that are both.
Breastfeeding in Public
Neal-
Wonderful notes. I can confirm.
My friends who prefer to / exclusively date Asian girls mostly seem to like smaller breasts and butts.
I'd never paid attention to the breastfeeding issue, but you're right. I don't think I've ever heard black or Hispanic people freak out about this. Breasts are more sexualized among whites, in general, so that would make sense.
Breastfeeding in public is also an issue in Asia where, again, men choose breasts over butts.
Chase
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