Tactics Tuesdays: Orgasm Anchoring

SZ-

Sex is about fulfilling a biological drive for sexual reproduction. There is no feeling more satisfying than to satisfy a deep biological need, like inseminating (if you're a man) or being inseminated (if you're a woman). As great as orgasms are in and of themselves, they're made better by the completion of the act (i.e., the insemination).

Cumming in her mouth is not as good as cumming into her cervix. But you are still ejecting your seed inside her body, which is dominating, and a closer simulation of the act of insemination.

Women in general are much more satisfied if you ejaculate into some part of them than if you ejaculate onto them, assuming they like you and are attracted to you and desire your satisfaction. At least that's been my experience. I think that side of things is just that they want their man to feel fully taken care of, and cumming in a girl just feels a lot better than cumming with your dick in the air.

I was thinking maybe I should tell her that that's the only way for me to get up, maybe that would work? Sometimes girls refuse to do it.

That's the general strategy, yes:

• "I need you to get me hard"
• "I need you to get me ready"
  

Etc. If that doesn't work and you want to get hard, try the stuff in this article:

• How to Get Turned On and Beat Performance Anxiety with New Girls
  

Another example, a girl was sucking my finger and refused to suck my dick, no matter how many times I told her to do that instead of my finger. What could I have done in that situation?

Doesn't sound like anything, if she was refusing. You can't always make a woman do exactly what you want in the moment. Though given enough time with a girlfriend, you can generally train her to do what you want.

Is it wrong telling women you don't eat pussy?

Not wrong, it just sounds arbitrarily stiff. Like, you meet a girl and she says "I don't suck cock." You just think she's weird and stiff about sex.

Typically better is "I eat pussy... if I feel like it. If I'm turned on enough. If a girl is clean and she makes me want to lick that snatch." Then you've given her a path toward what she wants. If she wants you to lick her, she needs to get you turned on enough and make it clean and easy enough for you. If she gets indignant and says that's too much work or fine, don't bother, just shrug and forget about it. If she gets pushy, just restate your demands. It might be worth figuring out what you would like a woman to do before you'd eat her pussy.

Giving oral sex to women is somewhat demonized in the American black male community. It's the only community I know of where that's the case... kind of a funny quirk of that community. I spent a lot of time around black men when I was young, so I carried that same "I can't eat pussy. It's weak and low to do that" thing around with me for a while. For years I only did it very rarely, and only with girlfriends (maybe a few times a year). Eventually it grows on you and becomes something you enjoy doing, especially when you see how warmed up it gets girls and how easy it is to make them cum their brains out hard with your cock after you've licked them to orgasm a few times. Still not something I do a huge amount, but it no longer feels like 'submitting' to me anymore. There are plenty of ways to not 'submit' if a girl asks you for it, too ("Sure - I'll lick you and you suck me" - 69 position; or "Sure... you suck me off first. And while I'm recovering from that, I'll eat you out" - this works great... she sucks you to ejaculation, you eat her out during the refractory period, and by the time she's had a bunch of orgasms you're now turned on, hard, and ready to go again, and can go right into her and have her cumming hard immediately).

You can't be eating every girls pussy out there, how do you know if it's safe to eat? I'm talking about avoiding diseases and shit. And how many partners do you recommend to do it to? Like one out of every 5 lays?

There's some interesting research on performing oral sex. Basically it is used by men in sperm competition; the hotter a girl is, the more a man will tend to eat her out, and the more likely she is to be mated to other men, the more a man will eat her out. i.e., the hotter she is and the sluttier she is, the more a guy will want to eat her out. The same is not true for women; a man's attractiveness or likelihood to stray has no impact on a woman's desire to suck his cock or not.

You can indeed get STDs from eating women out. You can get gonorrhea in your throat, for instance. HPV in your mouth. Etc. Safest bet is to only eat out girls who are your girlfriend. Next safest is the "only beautiful girls" rule... where you're only going to eat her out if she's beautiful. Then there's the "only if I want to" rule, which is a bit of a slippery slope because as you enjoy eating pussy more and get better and better at it you will start to want to lick more girls' pussies to get them more turned on and make the sex even more explosive.

Anyway, I'd just suggest whatever feels comfortable for you. I can tell you for me it's "If she's my girlfriend, or she's really beautiful and I don't think she's too slutty." Gonna be different for different guys, of course.

Chase

Lawliet-

From what I've read on girls chase is if she's uncomfortable, scale down a level with your touch and then go back up after a while. This seems a bit vague to me.

If you can touch her incidentally on the forearm and she's fine with it, then you move to cupping her elbow with your hand and she looks at your elbow and acts all awkward, move back to lighter incidental touch.

Touch her more on the forearm. Tap her on the upper arm. Tap her on the stomach as you make a point. Find excuses to touch other parts of her - examine her clothes, jewelry, accessories, etc.

Then after you've touched her a bunch more times this way, cup her elbow again and see if she responds differently. Most likely she will.

And if she isn't even comfortable with incidental (level 1) stuff, what can you do? There's nothing to scale back to.

First, you need to get a bead on whether she's uncomfortable because she's weird about touch, or if she just doesn't like you. If she doesn't like you so much that she doesn't even want you to touch her incidentally, you should probably just throw her back into the pond. If she likes you but she's weird about touch, just keep touching her incidentally (in various different ways - not the same way over and over again) until she gets comfortable with your hands making contact with her. If she likes you, she will get comfortable with it.

The idea of scaling back and then trying again later sounds ideal, but what exactly (can) happen in between attempts to escalate that builds more comfort in her with your touch and advances?

Acclimation. She gets used to your presence and touch. She warms to you. She lowers her walls to you. You change in her mind from 'stranger I am talking to' to 'acquaintance I am talking to' to 'sexy guy I am with'. As all this happens, she gets more and more comfortable when you touch her again.

Chase

Random-

Article on this, hot off the presses:

Have Men Become Disposable in Dating?

Chase

Edgy-

Splendid question!

Here's an article on it, hot off the presses:

Tactics Tuesdays: Fun Ways to Use Reverse Psychology

Chase

Edgy-

Take a look at this article - should have you covered:

3 Flavors of Sexy: Brooding, Smooth, and Talkative Vibes

Chase