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Nervous tics can play havoc with your social and romantic attractiveness. But before you can eliminate them, you’ve got to know you’ve got ‘em first.
One of the biggest contributors to your attractiveness to the opposite sex is the strength of your fundamentals. Fundamentals (in Girls Chase parlance) include everything from your physique, to your fashion, to your hairstyle, facial expressions, walk, voice, mannerisms, and a whole lot more (larger discussion of fundamentals here).
The reason fundamentals are so important is the good qualities they convey of you:
- Personal strength
- Self-confidence
- Self-assurance
- Composure
- Elegance
- Coolness
Even if the majority of your fundamentals are in excellent shape though, there's one thing that poses a direct threat to this powerful, nonplussed impression you'd otherwise create with them.
Contents
That one thing is the subject of this article: tics.
Tics are small behaviors with large negative effects on your overall impression. People often won't be consciously aware of what is setting them off when they respond to a tic; they'll just know something seems off about you. When everything else says "strong and composed" but one thing says "uncomfortable", that one bad apple spoils the whole bunch.
There's an upside to this, though: eliminate tics, and you boost to your overall presentation. Once you've stripped out a tic that was 'giving you away' in uncomfortable situations, you get a uniform presentation that stays cool, collected, and attractive, no matter how hard a girl tests you or how much her friends challenge or interloper males try to pick her off from you. Or, for that matter, no matter how heated things get at work, how uncomfortable you feel when asked for ID on the street by a random police officer, or when you walk up to that super cute girl and seem collected even though inside you're a bundle of nerves.
We'll focus on 12 common types of tics today that manifest in your face or body language. Note there are also vocal tics (like throat clearing or repeating your own words or someone else's), but, with one exception, we won't cover those in this article. We'll stay focused on visual tics in this piece.
Comments
chase in the index there are
chase in the index there are 13 ticks, i think one is missing maybe "Head Twitch" where you gonna said something especifically about it?
Head Twitch
Stef-
Oops... you are correct. Outlined the article, then missed that one as I wrote it.
Well, the quick blurb on it was just going to be awkward head movements, both head snaps (where you whip your head around fast when something catches your attention) and random/uncomfortable head twitches.
Thing to focus on to smooth these out: slow, deliberate head movements.
Chase
Tics
Hey great article Chase! It's fresh material that has never been discussed on the site to which is really impressive considering this site has articles spanning 10 years and counting.
Do you think these are tics?
Like when someone is staring,making eye contact with you and you didnt even realize, but then you look back at them and because of how uncomfortable and awkward it feels to be staring/looking back at them you look away immediately and look timid,submissive. Or like if a girl was looking at you,but it felt too uncomfortable to make eye contact with them so as a defense mechanism you avoid it or pretend like you dont notice them looking at you even though you do which happened to me this morning.
Is Poor Eye Contact a Tic?
Benjamin-
I wouldn't really consider those tics... mostly because they're such common problems, and eye contact is its own unique world.
When you don't make eye contact, it's typically because you are trying not to be recognized, or not to 'activate' someone. This is not a tic - it's avoidance of recognition/activation.
The extreme example is a big, angry, drunken guy going around yelling "Who wants to fight?!" If you stare that guy in the eye, he's going to view you as having risen to his challenge, and approach you to initiate a fight. Eye contact summons/activates other people.
That said, one of the first things I have guys do in the Newbie Assignment is to go out and start making and holding eye contact with people. It makes a difference.
Chase
7
Hey Chase,
I see you use the number 12 a lot for these list articles. Is there a specific reason ?
1. I have a hard time remembering effect and affect. I look it up, but forget every single time, how do you use those words?! I figured I'd ask a writer if I want to be a writer ;) also do you recommend any websites to study more about writing and grammar?
2. Could you elaborate more on flinching? Flinching is more of a response of not getting hit, so that would be more of a dangerous situation that I feel requires more work. Would you recommend anything for that ?
3. I always move my legs, I'm doing it now, I'm not nervous or anything, it's just what I do when Idle. Is that bad ?
4. Sweat stains, how do you get rid of it? I have to talk in front of people and I calmed myself down and spoke slowly, but my pits, and chest were wet the whole time. I couldn't stop it.
Is there anything I can do for that ? I tried all types of deodorants, including prescriptions from the doctor, I even tried no deodorant, I tried alcohol, I tried just drinking water, I just can't stop the sweat.
5. What are your plans for the future? I always hear you say take over the world and build an empire. I could never guess how tho, the fact you want to do more than what you do now helps me realize that when I become Successful I Should Strive For more.
Just curious because I want to have a greater cause as well, and can a black man grow an empire and take over the world ?
6. What should I do in these situations ? I always go out with a friend and he'll know everyone, so he'll go talk to others and run around everywhere typing to look cool. I only walk with him so much until I stop and let it be known I'm no following puppy.
But I end up standing alone looking like a fool because I don't know anyone and everyone is in their groups tightly knit.
What do you recommend for me in that situation ?
7. This ties with 6. The people in groups all seemed so closed off and rude. I try to be open but they try to act high status, so it makes me go cold, but it doesn't help the situation, what do you recommend ?
Thanks
Restless Legs, Sweat Stains, Gregarious Friends
SZ-
Nope. But I do probably use 5, 7, and 12 more than any other number. Not sure why.
Lists are always somewhat arbitrary. Because if you think long enough you can usually find more things to add to them.
I'm not suggesting you go out and get into fights to practice not flinching when fists fly at your face. You probably should flinch when fists fly at your face. Flinching protects your eyes from harm. What you DO want to do is not flinch when there actually is not any danger. This does mean you need to learn to be more relaxed around other people and not be over-paranoid that others are threats when they aren't.
On the legs... check out restless legs syndrome.
Sweat stains, I don't use these myself (not a problem I have), but I've seen guys recommend underarm sweat pads (for armpit sweating). I will also say when we filmed One Date, we had to do it with the air conditioning off in the middle of the summer, and I did start to sweat there... had to keep blow drying my shirt between takes. I don't usually sweat much. Putting on an undershirt made a huge difference, and actually made it so I didn't get sweat stains on my button down shirts anymore.
Any man can grow an empire. But he has to take action first. If you want to grow an empire, you need to get used to taking a lot more action than you do.
As for me, I have a certain size I'd like to grow Girls Chase to. I have a number of things I'm working to implement in GC over the next two years. And if I can get it to where I want it to get to, and all the system in place it needs to run well without me & continue to grow, I have another, larger business that will serve significantly more people than Girls Chase does (and we do 1.2 million visitors per month) I'd like to start.
After that, there is more I'd like to do. But I don't like to talk about plans too far out, since plans change, and if you talk too much about future projects you risk robbing yourself of the motivation to actually do them.
With the gregarious friend... having been in that situation a few times, there's not really a good answer. Especially since this type of friend is usually not bringing you deep into groups or constructing meaningful conversation. So it's not like you can join one of the groups easily and merge into it.
Sometimes the better thing to do is say "After you've said all your hellos, come meet me at the bar and we'll get drinks and hit on some chicks."
Chase
Sup
1. Hey Chase,
Here's the link you asked for in the other thread when I was telling you about women liking that you're improving your life mostly at any age. I'm assuming there is a limit at an age, but I was mostly asking about an older man. Franco actually was the one who responded to me about it.
https://www.girlschase.com/boards/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=18556
Just wanted to know your thoughts about this. I hope it helps me.
2. I'm kind of discouraged about the last post you responded to me with about guys with killer fundamentals, that only get laid some of the time, and it isn't easy, even if they are saying that they are working on themselves.
I know you didn't say that in a bad way, but I feel like hearing that makes me feel that it's way harder now, than it would have been years ago.
I honestly didn't mean for this to happen, I never knew I'd be in this position now, I thought I'd be doing more.
It hurts to know that I'm back on track, but it doesn't matter because I'm too old and now it's going to be harder for me to get girls even with me working hard on myself now because I'm not young.
I don't want to struggle or have a harder time with women because of my age, I didn't do any of this on purpose. I'm going back to school, I'm applying to better jobs, I'm horribly shit at math, but still trying to make a way.
I was never a bum, I might have rarely cold approached during the day or whatever, but I've been busting my ass trying to get better jobs and further my education for years, I've been dieting and working out. I've been trying to improve myself, my career prospects wasn't something I could control.
Now I'm trying to take courses and self learn for career prospects while also getting a degree.
I never wanted to struggle financially ever, I never wanted to be some lazy bum with no career aspects. I kept applying for jobs, kept going to job fairs, tried to make connections, had connections fail me, and still no luck with a good job, shit even a decent shitty job. Now I have to worry about being too old to get women regularly because I could never get hired for whatever reason to at least have more money now.
I'm at the point now where I think I have to use brute force or do wrong things I never wanted to do to get the things I want in life.
I'm tired of living this struggle I've been living for so many years. I refuse to be a failure or a bum, I went through too much shit in life to fail, I need to succeed.
I'm not whining, complaining, or blaming anyone, just letting you know what I've been dealing with over the years.
And right now thinking that my chances with women might be worse now than ever before because I'm old and no jobs ever wanted to hire me, is making me go crazy.
3. What do you feel about girls trying to record you and put you online to embarrass you if you cold approach them.
There's a forum I visit about anything, and sometimes they talk about girls. So most are against cold approach because they say that men who do that will get me too'd and put on snap chat or the net showing the rejection, and ruining your reputation forever. Of course this sounds discouraging.
How do you feel about that fear and how to avoid and handle that situation ?
4. There's a dating coach who is against cold approach, he's not like the guys I mentioned. He says to wait for invitations from women instead of doing it randomly.
I know what he means and I know you mentioned doing that as well, but only once you get good enough to see the invitations.
He's against the whole thing, no matter what skill level. He said it makes him feel weak and like a loser trying to cold approach women without approach invitations.
I feel the same way approaching, but I know from your advice that you have to cold approach a lot when you're not that good.
He recommendeds getting and chasing success and women will follow and to only go for women who show signals.
Just wanted to know your thoughts.
Thanks
Making up for lost time
Are you sure there isn't anyway to make up for lost time at all? At least the comfort of it?
I don't wanna live my life with shoulda, coulda woulda, feelings. I know I will be so angry at myself for not going extremely hard with dating when I was younger because I'd already be levels above where I would be at. And I can never get that time back no matter how good I get, I could end up being one the best dating coaches ever, but it still wouldn't matter because I could have even been greater if I didn't miss out for years. It's always that feeling of what if? That makes me depressed.
I get angry living my life like I'm just getting the hang of it as a grown ass man, living like I'm super young, but I'm really old, like I'm some super old just graduated from college kind of dude.
I don't wanna be a grown ass man just getting his first apartment like I just graduated college, I should have a house right now.
I'm still improving myself, but now with everything I do, I feel like a shell of myself. Everything I do now feels weird, like I'm in desperation mode or something.
I feel so bad that I've been on this site for many years and I'm not even at half of my potential.
I was always on this site even before I made my handle, at that time I was sleeping with girls from social circle and hitting clubs heavy. Then I ran into a social circle problem and started commenting on here, then that's where all of the time being wasted started.
Months after I had the social circle flake, my friends never wanted to go out again, so I found a girl and got into something with her because I didn't think to go out by myself. I kept getting flaked on by girls, never got any responses from girls, it made me just quit cold turkey with the dating game; I was tired of the bs.
So one day I woke up and realized I wasted years of my youth, by not forging ahead for those years.
I didn't realize it for so long and it hurts.
I never tried day game and online dating before and I'm really upset that I did social circle and club game 100%.
All those years were spent on the two worse methods of getting women, then I got out the game, then years later realized I wasted valuable youth and could have gotten better.
I'm so mad that I didn't even think to have a tinder or something to get the easy lay here or there, now I'm older and too embarrassed of myself to think I can get any girls. I don't feel normal still chasing girls, I feel at this age I should be at the "been there, done that phase" Even without going hard for women, some men just fall into it by luck.
And I'll be honest Chase, also during those years where I gave up the game, I was too broke to even go out to the clubs and bars, that's when I lost my job, losing my funds also made me quit.
It's like it all happened at the same time, my friends stopped going out, lost my job, kept getting flaked on, stayed with a girl because I gave up on the game, years passed.
I still can't believe I gave up the game for so long, and sat around in a depression, that I'm still fighting, instead of doing cold approach, going to the gym hard, learning money making skills, etc. I just gave up and stayed in my bed for years.
The fact it's been years is what's making me go crazy, how the hell did I let so much time go by with no self improvement? How? I couldn't understand some months, maybe a year, but years? It still doesn't feel like years went by.
So now here I am, I'm older and in a worse position than I was before. I'm in worse shape, didn't get that much better with women, and I'm still job hunting, I feel no woman could ever want me the same because of my age.
Now I'm realizing that cold approach is truly king, but I feel so old now to be walking around the malls and clubs to still be trying to get women, I feel like a little kid in a grown up body. Why would any woman wanna date me? I'm even too embarrassed to do online dating. I'm ashamed of myself, and I'm ashamed that I am basically living life as a young ass dude, but I'm really a grown ass man. Grown men have everything handled, it feels like I'm racing for time. Being really young and going hard with dating just seems cooler than being older and still trying to master it.
But I'm still here because I'm not giving up on my goals and still love this site, this site has helped make me believe in becoming more than a man that fucks a lot of girls, it teaches you to become a man with everything. I'm happy I found this site.
The biggest thing I'm depressed about is when I start doing day game cold approach, then when I get good, I'll realize that it wasn't this hard and I wasted sooo many years not doing it, then I'll think about all the years I missed of it and what level I could be at.
Is there anyway to just be ok with not doing day game and not going extremely hard with dating in years?
Thanks
Dating Younger Women, Girls Recording You, Cold Approach
SZ-
Here's the quote you're referring to (from "Attracting and Dating Younger Women"):
You seem really, really worried about this. I'm not sure why?
Think of attractive younger women as the Grand Prize for an older male.
Not every older male wants to date younger women. Some prefer women of their age (even some men who can get younger women. I know several older guys who can easily get attractive younger women, yet prefer to date women their age).
Your remarks seem to all be centered around "I haven't made myself into the Grand Prize as a male. And I'm not going to turn myself into the Grand Prize either. So how do I get those Grand Prize girls?"
I mean... it's sort of like saying how do I win Mr. Universe without lifting really hard at the gym? Or how do I get a Lamborghini on a minimum wage salary?
If you want the best of the best, you need to make yourself the best of the best.
Now. CAN you get younger women without being a business owner, retired, or high up in your career? Sure. There are plenty of deadbeat older dudes who manage to date younger women. And there are mid-level career guys dating younger women. Usually, these guys date the trashier younger women. But not always. And also usually, these guys are pretty happy with the younger women they date, and either don't see them as trashy or don't care that they're trashy. They're just happy to be getting some young strange.
The point of the article was to discuss who you need to be to reliably do well with attractive women who are significantly younger than you.
If you want to get the Grand Prize, you're going to have to make yourself into Grand Prize material.
This is a big focus of this site. It is not "Say these magical words and any girl will leap onto your cock!" It is hey - this stuff is part what you learn to do, and part who you cultivate yourself into. You need both parts.
If you ignore the self-cultivation aspect of things then yes - you won't do as well as a guy who's put a lot more time, energy, and focus into cultivating himself.
Just how it goes.
Why? Them's the ropes.
When I started to self-improve + learn game with girls, I was far behind every other guy my age. And I suffered from it, for years, continuing to suck with women and get only occasional wins here and there as I gradually improved.
Eventually I caught up with regular guys. Then I surpassed them. Felt pretty good. But it took quite some time.
If you were napping while everyone else was racing, you're going to have to work hard to catch up, then surpass them.
What is depressing about that? That's just real.
That you regret not having worked harder when younger? That's just unrealistic. And a waste of time.
Younger you could never have worked any harder. Because younger you was only ever going to do what he was going to do.
The only 'you' that can work harder is present you.
So you'd better start working hard NOW.
Or else 5 years from now you'll look back on 2018 Sub-Zero and be going, "Man, I can't believe how much time I spent talking about working hard then, and I STILL didn't work hard."
Otherwise, what's the point of talking about all this? Just a lot of running in circles and going nowhere.
Also, weren't you saying you regretted not doing anything back in, like, 2013 or 2014?
Have you made a lot of progress since then? If not, what did you do over those 4-5 years?
Are the next 4-5 years going to be any different? Is this year going to be any different? Or are you just going to be asking the same questions forever? "Chase, I'm 75 years old, and I'm still thinking about getting these young hos. Do you think I can still get young hos when I'm 120? I feel so down sometimes about not doing anything the last 75 years. What can I do to make up for lost time?"
I've never heard about that.
I can't believe it happens much. But if it does, are you going to tell them your first and last name and place of residence, so they can make sure this video of you is easy to find?
Are you going to be famous enough that people will be like "Yo, that's SZ!"
If you are, is it going to be humiliating enough that it "ruins you forever"?
Like "Whoa. SZ just talked to a girl. I can't believe it. That monster."
None of that makes any sense to me.
Yep, it's hard doing pure cold approach without approach invitations.
It takes a massive set of balls. Nothing to be ashamed of if you don't have/do it.
I suggest guys focus on approach invitation a lot.
However, the upper echelons of girl success are reserved for the men who learn to grab their cajones and approach even when there aren't explicit invitations to open.
Plenty of my lays have come from that. An ex-fiancée of mine came from that.
Approach invitations are great. But there are lots of girls out there you can get with who won't give them. Might be they're shy; might be they didn't see you; might be they were 'tuned out' of looking for a man and didn't think of you that way until you approached.
Actually, yes. One way.
Start working, and work your ass off.
Most people drift through life.
If you're 30, and you're starting off hopelessly behind, it'll maybe take only about 5-6 years of working your ass off with a fire under you to catch up with all but your most elite peers. If you can't muster a fire, but you can at least be methodical about it, you can have them caught in 8-10 years.
If you're not as hopelessly far behind, then obviously the road is shorter.
Of course, if you're just looking for a magic pill to feel better about lost time, then, I don't know... LSD? Ayahuasca? Probably Ayahuasca.
Chase
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