2 Times You Should Use a False Time Constraint

One of the mainstays of old school pickup was the false time constraint.

You would go up, deliver it on approach, and it would help you display high value plus remove any fear a girl might have of you being a social burden – some guy who shows up, gloms onto her, then never leaves and she can’t get rid of him.

The false time constraint’s faded into increasing obscurity, a relic of an indirect game past that assumed guys start out in a low-value position and have to demonstrate higher value before women will like them. That’s why I haven’t talked it up much before – my advice is “get your fundamentals to the point where you’re automatically higher value.”

But what about situations where you mess up on the opener, or maybe for whatever reason this girl thinks she’s better than you, or you’re meeting women somewhere the competition is fierce and girls are flakey and non-commital – is it ever worth using an “FTC” to give yourself breathing room and show her what you’ve really got?

If She Likes You, She Likes You

Drill down to brass tacks, and every girl you approach either likes you a lot, is neutral, or doesn’t like you.

The false time constraint works under the assumption that most of the women you approach will be neutral to you, and that you want to avoid these women breaking things off and going back to whatever they were doing. This was because the guys who developed it did so meeting women in high-end nightclubs in competitive environments (and truth be told, most of the time you’ll use a false time constraint is in bars and clubs).

I’ve long preferred a “get in or get out” philosophy to how I approach a girl; I go in, and if she bites I stay, while if she doesn’t bite I get out, perhaps after asking for compliance or trying to lead, and seeing if she follows or declines. Drexel discussed his take on this same philosophy just the other day in “Target Selection Part 1.”

This is because you normally have all the attraction you’re ever going to have at “hi”; it’s difficult and usually not doable to talk most girls into being attracted to you. The seduction itself is mostly about making her comfortable enough to follow her instincts, not overriding her instincts in the first place.

If she likes you on approach, she wants you to hang around... you don’t need a false time constraint.

However... there are always exceptions, aren’t there?

And in the case of an FTC, the exceptions are these:

1. On approach, when she hasn’t had time to properly feel you out yet
   
2. Later on, when she’s acting like she doesn’t have time for you
   

#1: False Time Constraints on Approach

Let’s say you’re standing in a coffee shop, and see a cute girl sitting over on a couch behind a table. She looks at you and smiles, then looks down and resumes reading her book. You walk over and open her. False time constraint?

No, of course not. It’d be out of place. She’s not in a hurry, and she’s given you a clear approach invitation. Using a time constraint here doesn’t mesh.

Now let’s say you’re in a crowded nightclub. You spot a girl bouncing up and down in a sequined dress, full of energy, shouting with several of her girlfriends. False time constraint?

This time, yes.

You don’t have to, but unless you have another (and strong) opener to use that supplants it, you’ll get a much better reception with an FTC.

My buddy Mateo has long used “real quick” in such situations, and I’ve found this one pretty handy as well. (Mateo also uses “I have to get back to my friends” a fair bit, though this one I’d advise anyone starting out to be careful with, because get the tone wrong and it sounds like your friends are the boss of you! Has to be said quickly, playfully, and off-hand.)

Some examples of different false time constraints you can use:

• Real quick
• Just a sec
• This’ll just take a sec
• Let me sneak in here for a moment
• I need to steal you for a sec
  

Here’s an example of what this looks like:

[girl excitedly partying with friends, oblivious to the outside world]

You: [pre-opening her, big smile] Just a sec, you are totally rocking the house down, amiga! What’s the occasion?

Her: It’s my birthday!

You: Oh no, that means we have to do like 20 shots later!

Why use a false time constraint in this situation? Here’s why: when you’re launching into a new conversation with a girl who’s oblivious and hasn’t recognized you yet, the response you get will be an autopilot response tailored to your energy and first few words.

 “Real quick”, “just a sec”, etc., get a good autopilot reaction, of “This sounds important.” Usually when someone’s telling her “real quick” or “just a second”, it’s because they have something important to tell her – don’t run off, you left your credit card behind, say, or I need a signature on this, or did you leave your purse on the bar. Things like that.

False time constraints used this way are authoritative commands... they’re usually only used by people who are in authority in a given venue, or are highly confident. For this reason, they will tend to get a strong “I’m listening and receptive” response from distracted women when you use them.

One note: if you don’t use a false time constraint like this authoritatively, and you don’t immediately follow it up with something fun or meaty, it’ll backfire, much in the way some nerdy kid tapping her on the shoulder going, “Real quick, real quick” trying to get her attention and saying nothing else just looks like a goofball.

If you’re going to use a false time constraint on opening, make sure you do it authoritatively, then follow it up with a strong-ish opener.

#2: False Time Constraints Later On

The other time to use a false time constraint is when a girl is giving you a lot of pushback, and especially when she’s giving you time constraints herself.

e.g., she’s telling you she probably has to go in a couple of minutes, or she’s telling you she has to meet up with her friends soon.

In these cases, you want to casually let her know that you need to leave too... and sooner than she does. And you want to make sure that you mention this in passing, and not as some big deal part of your conversation.

That looks like this:

Her: We’re leaving in like 5 minutes.

You: Yeah, I’m out of here in 3. Let’s move over here for a second, I’d like to get a better look at this whole thing you’ve got going on [gesture at her outfit in an approving way]

In other words, it does NOT look like this:

Her: We’re leaving in like 5 minutes.

You: Yeah, I’m out of here in 3. [pause] Let’s move over here for...

You move straight from the time constraint into the next sentence, almost without giving her a chance to think about it. Comes across as natural, more or less an afterthought, which is what you want; you want to seem like you just incidentally remembered you’re leaving now that she’s mentioned she is.

[also, notice in the example of what to do, there are actually two false time constraints: “I’m out of here in 3” and “Let’s move over here for a second”; this is to show social savvy and time sensitivity, since she’s made it clear you don’t have much time with her yet, and you’re aware that if you try to do anything with her without making it clear you understand this she’s likely to break it off then and there, fearing you’ll ignore her time constraint and make it awkward for her to leave later... by being socially savvy here and using time constraints yourself, you alleviate this concern]

Handy, right?

If the girl actually likes you, this gives you a little more burden-free time with her (which you should probably use to grab a phone number assuming the time constraint is real).

If she doesn’t like you and the time constraint is a false one, then what you’ve actually done was to get past the test, which is usually going to mean she’s at least a little more attracted to you now, and probably a fair bit impressed at your savvy.

Bonus: FTC as a Calibration Tool

All right, one more time you can use a false time constraint, actually.

Sometimes you will go to open a girl and she’ll hold her hand up to reject you immediately, before you even get a word out. That’s no fun, and no matter what you were planning to do, it can throw you off quite a bit.

What you can however do is this:

You: [walk up to girl]

Her: [holds her hand up to tell you ‘no’]

You: [big, amused smile] Whoa, hold up a second, I just had a question.

... or:

You: [walk up to girl]

Her: [holds her hand up to tell you ‘no’]

You: [big, amused smile] No, no, wait a minute! I just wanted to tell you, I saw you standing over here, and [direct opener]

You might not realize it at first, but “hold up a second” and “wait a minute” are both false time constraints, and they can both really help you get past automatic rejections from girls, especially in highly competitive environments (like a beach resort town with lots of handsome, muscular guys aggressively approaching them).

Doesn’t guarantee the interaction will work – you’re still starting from behind, given that she was about to reject you immediately on approach – however, it gives you a minute or two of breathing room and, again, most girls will be at least a little taken by your pluck. The majority of guys who get hands in their faces either slump their shoulders in response or turn angry (or whiny).

How Big a Part of Your Game Should This Be?

False time constraints are something you need a lot more in more competitive environments. They aren’t so necessary in places where you getapproach invitations and meet girls who are into your look. When there’s a lot of competition for girls though, these can be helpful to manage flakey women with short attention spans.

So, you may not need these so much if you spend most of your time in a not-so-crazy-competitive place; but if you do spend time in a competitive place, you might find you use them a lot. Even if you aren’t and don’t, heck, they’re useful to keep tucked away for a rainy day... or a visit to a place where the fish just aren’t biting for you the way they bite for you in some other places.

Yours,
Chase