Drinking and Meeting Girls, Part 2: Why and How to Drink

You don’t want to get too crazy with alcohol when your goal is “girls.” But you can definitely drink a bit. How much? It depends...

Welcome back! Last week, I discussed the implications of drinking alcohol in regards to practicing seduction. The post may have expressed a rather negative and pessimistic view, but again, as mentioned in last post (to be emphasized here), having a few drinks is not harmful. You don’t need to go full-blown sober in order to practice your seduction skills or perform smoothly.

The point is to not drink too much (duh).

In this post, I will point out some benefits of drinking. Additionally, I will present some opinions on how your selection of drink affects the perception women may have of you. I’ll also give you a bunch of simple but cool tips that can really impact the way you will experience the nightlife (for the better).

Let’s get right into it.

Before I get to the pointers, I will briefly mention the obvious: alcohol can relieve anxiety – particularly approach anxiety – and make a person more comfortable in social situations. However, I believe it is a crutch. Do you really want to become dependent on booze in order to score hot ladies? Additionally, if you practice “non-drunk,” your skills will improve more quickly.

Some of you may think that on bad nights (nights where you feel anxious), it may be worth having a few drinks in order to get the ball rolling. Usually that is a bad idea, as booze can reinforce your current mood, whatever it may be (and have the opposite of the desired effect). That said, we all react differently to alcohol.

If you do struggle with anxiety, there are healthier alternatives (with better effects):

• Teas with high levels of L-theanine (Japanese Gyokuro, and Oolongs)
• Catuaba
• Red (Panax) Ginseng
• Rhodiola Rosea (rose root)
• Cacao (yes, buy some organic cacao nibs! Not the powdered crap!)

However, note that using any of these is still a crutch, as you are still depending on “substances” to get you going. However, they may come in useful when you have bad nights. That is when I take some catuaba and ginseng. And tea is something I always drink!

The Cheap One

Going to a club and being a regular has certain benefits. Knowing the staff can allow for certain privileges, such as entering the VIP areas (for the clubs that have them) or skipping lines or getting past the pickers and bouncers (those assholes who judge who gets in and who doesn’t at popular venues). Knowing the bartender can get you free shots, which can give you some social value, especially if girls come with you to the bar and the bartender just hands you free shots – it is awesome. Knowing the staff makes you look good and displays social value.

In a club I usually frequent, I get to deposit my jacket at the DJ booth so I don’t have to pay for a wardrobe (and stand in that never-ending, chaotic line). I also get to skip the line in bars – bartenders who know you will serve you first.

Additionally, if you really do get along well with the staff, you may be invited to their after-parties. And trust me, the after-parties offered by the people working in the nightlife industry are wild, filled with booze, hot girls, and drugs (the latter is not a good thing, in my opinion, but I don’t mind people doing it).

But more importantly, you become more comfortable in the venue. Going out clubbing in order to meet up with chicks can be an intimidating affair to many (especially if you go out alone like I often do, which to me is the best thing if the goal is seduction). Knowing the staff can make you feel more at home in the venue, allowing you to feel more at ease and socially open. This is really key.

However, it will be harder to become one of the “regulars” if you are that “cheap guy” who never buys anything at the bar. The bartender will not get to know you, and if you are in the club regularly, the bouncers and pickers (who sometimes go inside) may start noticing your cheap behavior. This can have a negative impact and may make you unpopular. In worst case scenarios, you may not even get in anymore. You don’t need to be a big spender, but if you buy 2-3 dinks in the bar per night, you protect yourself from those negative vibes (but it won’t grant you the special vibe with the bartenders).

Nobody likes a tightwad. Don’t be Mr. Cheapskate.

In my opinion, in addition to bartenders, bouncers and DJs are worth getting to know, and they usually don’t care about how much you spend – unless it is obvious you’re the “cheap guy.” There’s a correlation between your spending and how often you frequent the venue.

Here are 2 tips for dealing with the bartenders:

1. You cannot befriend them all or buy from them all on a regular basis. Well, perhaps you have the cash to do that, but most of us don’t. My advice is to pick 1 or 2 bartenders you happen to get along with, and always buy from them. Eventually you will become his client, and he will think of you as a good spender, despite you only buying 2-3 drinks per night. He will become your guy. Got a girl in need of a drink but there’s a line? Go to your guy and skip the line!

2. Buy something expensive (like champagne or a bottle of booze). But do it only once, preferably the first couple times you frequent a venue. This way, you become one of the “key customers.” I know this can be a bit expensive and may not seem worth it. But consider that a normal Moet costs around $100 USD (definitely not worth it by itself, but your resultant status at the club can make up for it). For example, if the venue is hard to get into, by buying a bottle, you may secure yourself entrance in the future. Suddenly 100 bones for guaranteed entrance to your favorite spot may be worth it. The staff in higher-end venues are trained to take extra care of the good buyers, and they do remember the faces of the champagne buyers. Note that it is best to book a bottle before actually going to the club. This will put you on the guest list as a “champagne buyer.” The man at the door will then know you as exactly that. Then, the next weekend, once you show up as a normal guest, the picker/bouncer is very likely to let you in.

The Social Frame

If you happen to not drink at all, I wouldn’t make a big thing of it, and here’s why: people go to clubs to drink and party – it’s part of the code. Breaking the code can occasionally be attractive, but sometimes it can make you come across as weird and suspicious. Sure, be sober, but don’t emphasize the fact. It can actually come off as creepy.

I usually have a beer in my hand when walking around the club. It communicates to girls that I am a normal guy, and being a normal guy is good for creating a sense of safety and comfort in women, which can be key. The opposite (coming off as weird) can create discomfort, which can become a hell of a cockblock.

Again, being abnormal can be sexy; women find weird guys intriguing. But here’s something many guys get wrong. It is not the mere breaking of norms that is sexy; it’s one’s actions. Not drinking is not particularly sexy, and it breaks the norm without providing any benefits, which can trigger some alarms.

Some girls – particularly younger girls – will make a big deal out of it. Just grab a beer and drink it slowly. Problem solved. If you decide not to drink, just tell the girl you’ve had enough for the night. Why risk coming across as a potential creep? I would break a norm only if there is a benefit to it. In this case, the risks seem to be higher.

Instead, focus on breaking the norms in ways that make you attractive, such as talking with rich descriptions.

Drinking Tips and Tricks

Here are a few tips I have gathered over the years regarding drinking. Pick and choose whatever you like. None of this is rocket science, but you may find some of these useful.

1. Beer: I personally do not buy beer in a glass (tap) when in a club. I know you get fresher and better beer when you buy tap, but it just isn’t worth it, and here is why. First of all, beer in glasses is messy. People will bump into you, and you will spill beer on them and on yourself. This can lead to potential conflicts or may ruin your outfit. Additionally, it gives you less flexibility; as you become afraid of spilling beer, you may become overly careful and start stiffing up. It is just not a relaxed thing, and it frankly has a negative impact on your presence.

2. Do not hold your drink like all the other guys – i.e., standing there with your drink in front of your chest with your arm bent at 90 degrees, holding that drink like a shield against social interaction. It is not only a type of closed-off body language, it looks uncool. The cooler way is to hold your drink below your hip with your arm straight. This also reduces the odds of spilling (much easier to do with bottles, by the way).

3. In regards to status, you may find yourself in a high-end venue with lots of MasterCard billionaires drinking champagne. You may not have the money for champagne or the desire to waste your money on it. In this case, I have noticed that 90% of the time, having a glass of whisky simply looks more badass than a glass of champagne. If you’re next to a guy with a bottle, and you happen to have a simple glass of whisky (Scotch or whatever), you’ll just look cool and higher value. I’ve asked women about this, and they all told me they perceive the guy with the whisky glass to be more attractive than the champagne whore.

4. Using drinks can be a great tool to isolate a girl. Asking her to join you for a drink is a good excuse to get her away from somewhere or someone. However, buying a drink may seem like too much of an investment and can occasionally backfire (you may come across as try-hard). So buying shots is the safest route; you do not come across as a guy trying to “impress her with a drink” (which doesn’t really work). Instead, you are the fun guy who invites her for a shot. Shots give off a way more fun vibe, and you don’t come off as needy! Oh, and they’re also cheaper than fufu cocktails!

Drinks are a great excuse to get her alone somewhere with you.

5. Remember that alcohol dehydrates you. This may sound like stupid advice, but many guys forget to drink water when out in clubs. I do not know why that is, but the club atmosphere just makes people forget about their thirst for real fluid. Being dehydrated is one of the main causes of state drops! Oftentimes, when a guy tells me his mood has dropped, it is usually because he is dehydrated. Then he has some water and suddenly starts feeling better. Surely not rocket science, but still a key thing to keep in mind.

Recap

In this article, I gave you some reasons to drink and a few tips and tricks related to drinking.

• You can buy stuff in the bar to avoid coming across as cheap. Spending the right way can help you build good relationships with the staff in your favorite venues.

• Abstaining can be detrimental to your social frame. Not drinking may get you perceived as a bit creepy by some girls, particularly young girls. And we discussed ways to avoid these pitfalls.

• We then listed a few tips and tricks regarding drinking.

This post may not seem like rocket science, and it surely wasn’t meant to be. But considering that drinking is such an integral part of modern nightlife, I decided it was necessary to cover the subject in depth. Anyway, those are my opinions on the matter. I will get back to discussing actual seduction stuff next week. Stay tuned.

Questions and comments are welcome, like always.

Until next,

Alek