How to Be a Good Guy and Still Win Big

You don’t have to be a devil to do devilishly good with girls. Before you turn yourself into a bad guy to get good girls, there is another way...

It started with a late night conversation. I was sitting with a couple of close friends on the balcony, having a drink. I can’t recall what we were talking about, but somehow the conversation produced the following exchange:

Him: “Come on, you’re a good guy, Darius.”

Her: “Oh yeah, absolutely!”

Me: “No, I’m not. At least I’m not like that around women.”

Him: “Why?”

Me: “I don’t know. But I’m definitely not!”

Him: “That’s kinda messed up.”

Me: “Well, that’s how I am.”

(Strangely, I remember having some weird, misguided pride in this.)

This conversation happened about a year ago – I replicated it the best I could – and even though I didn’t give it much thought at the time, over the following year it led me on a path of self-examination and discovery.

There were two specific things that came to bother me about the way I responded in that conversation:

• First, why would I get so defensive about being referred to – and seen as – a “good guy” by my close friends?

• Second, even though it was true that I behaved differently around women than I did around my close friends, I wanted to know why, especially since I’m more interested in romantic relationships than one night stands – and relationships require a real connection to be worth anything.

In other words, I wanted to know why I had the belief that being a “good guy” is somehow inferior and, more importantly, was it true? On top of that, given that being a “good guy” is something that comes to me naturally, I wanted to see if I can embrace this side of my personality and still achieve my romantic goals.

Turns out the answer to the latter is an astounding “Yes!” And with this article, my goal is to show you how.

But before we go there, we’ll need to cover some foundational concepts, including what it means to be “a good guy,” whether everyone should aspire to be one, and some common pitfalls and other things to watch out for.

We’ll start by identifying who will benefit from this article the most.