Tactics Tuesdays: Barrier Destroyers

I lately responded to a comment where I talked about one kind of barrier destroyer. I figured I’d talk about some others here.

Barriers are a spectacular tactic. They challenge a girl you are with to take some kind of action (favorable to the direction you want to move things in) to get things moving. For instance, “I’d really love to get to know you better. But you have this sarcastic attitude toward any attempts at real talk that makes it so difficult.” Use this with a girl you have a good thing going with, and you make her aware of her defenses, and encourage her to drop them (to let you in). Another common barrier: “If it wasn’t for the crowd of people around us, my hands would be all over you.” A girl who’s already pretty into you is fairly likely to start suggesting somewhere more private the two of you might head at this point.

But this article isn’t about using barriers yourself. It’s about what to do when women use barriers on you.

Because they can and they will.

The productive barriers you don’t need to dismantle, of course. If she says “It’s too bad we’re in public and not somewhere private right now”, don’t destroy that barrier. Just get her somewhere alone with you.

It’s the unproductive barriers you need to watch out for. Ones that put the brakes on the courtship, slip you into the boyfriend zone, or banish you to the platonic friend zone.

When a girl hits you with an unproductive barrier, you can feel stuck: barriers can be hard to tear down in an effective way. They put up a wall between you and her that can feel insurmountable. This article gives you the tools to get unstuck, and get past the wall.