You Don't Need to Be Perfect – Your Flaws Are What Make You Attractive

The next time you want to approach a girl but want to chicken out even more, remember: when it comes to attraction, having flaws is better than being perfect.

There are few skills more useful and powerful for developing your charisma than cold approach pickup. At its very core, all it entails is approaching women to make them feel comfortable enough to let you inside them.

The concept is simple, but the application is hard.

Imagine you’re a robot. You’re given a program, and the code tells you to: walk up to a girl, tell her she’s cute, talk to her for two minutes, and ask for her contact.

A robot would have no problem with this task because it doesn’t feel emotions like fear, doubt, insecurity, or self-consciousness. It would just approach with the correct formula compiled from the Girls Chase seduction database, and make it happen. A robot would know exactly the right techniques to apply, like how to touch a girl, how to make her feel comfortable, the right vocal tonality, plus the proper subjects and replies to elicit positive emotions like attraction, arousal, and intrigue.

What the robot would lack, however, is exactly what makes the best seducers so excellent, which is not necessarily control of emotions, but emotions themselves.

It’s often our flaws and deficiencies that make us charismatic. Not perfection, but imperfection that arouses the deepest interest. Rags to riches, zero to hero, the underdog story.

Science fiction has covered this. The creators program quirks and flaws into AI behavior, just to make humans more comfortable around them (droids). But we humans are naturally imperfect, so to strive for perfection is futile, even if you've been fitted with Borg implants. A “perfect” robotic companion would make us uneasy. We’d always wonder if our AI slave was ready to usurp and replace us. Just like having the “perfect” girl will leave most men insecure that she will leave him.

We should only strive for improvement, not perfection. It’s those who don’t strive for any growth whatsoever who dwell in the shadows, far away from any recognition. They may call themselves enlightened, but even the priest is looking to improve his relationship with his God, at least.

Look at someone like my favorite author, Charles Bukowski, for example. He wrote hilarious books and beautiful poetry that inspired millions to try their hand at writing. He took poetry away from intellectuals and gave it back to ordinary people. He was also a brutal alcoholic, depressive, and a jerk to women. But we love him for his honesty.

If it weren’t for Bukowski’s “flaws,” he wouldn’t have developed his deep understanding of what living a life of poverty can do to establish a man as an artist. His flaws are precisely what made his writings so perceptive and rich.

You don’t need to be perfect, just improving. It saddens me how many of you will never try to achieve something great because the task seems too far away, too impossible — as if you won’t gain anything from even trying.