Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Research shows that women who want to meet a man rate men handsomer in general. When she’s on the prowl, EVERY guy’s a Prince Charming to her!

I know a lot of guys are very focused on their looks.

So this study should be intriguing. From the study:

It was found that the more interested women were in meeting members of the opposite sex, the more attractive they viewed the opposite-sex patrons in the bar. (Interest was not found to affect the attractiveness of the opposite-sex confederate.) For men, no relationship was found between interest and physical attractiveness ratings.

Regarding the “opposite-sex confederate” bit: the researchers paired men and women up with an average-looking opposite-sex companion and sent them to a bar together. They wanted to see if the ‘beer goggles’ effect was real.

They found that it for women it wasn’t. As the night went on, women rated men’s looks worse – both the looks of the guy they went there with and the other patrons in the bar. Further, the drunker women got, the harsher critics they were of the looks of men!

(men, for the record, rated other female bar patrons the same at the beginning and end of the night – however they rated the average-looking girl they came with a whopping 19% better-looking by the end of the night!)

The one exception to the harsh judgments women made: women who were on the prowl.

The more a girl was out to meet men, the better-looking the guys in the bar looked to her.

If you look good as a guy but women still don’t signal you to approach, what gives? In fact, there’s more that goes into women signaling than a man’s looks.

Commenting on my article “Should You Even Respond to Women's Signs of Interest?”, Sami-88 asked about why, despite his excellent fashion and attraction fundamentals, and warm receptions from all kinds of women, he doesn’t get much in the way of pre-approach signals from attractive women.

I responded that if (as seems to be the case for Sami) you’re getting midrange girls signaling you but not hotter girls, but all girls (including hotter girls) are still warm to you on approach, there are a few possible reasons that can be.

He followed up with the following comment:

Chase,

Thank you for your sophisticated answer. My look is that of the mysterious strong silent guy - the exact opposite of “goofy”.

It must be that hotter girls signal in a much more indirect way, like you write in your other article, and expect from a masculine guy to take all the initiative irrespectively of their signaling.

Food for thought for another article of yours: could there be a correlation between women’s signaling and the man’s perceived attainability?

Sweet, attainable guys might get heavy signaling more than “strong, silent” guys because women expect the latter to do the job without any help.

Yes, it is true – unintimidating men get much more signaling and even approach behavior from women. This relates to the lover vs. fighter distinction: do you come across as someone trying to attract (the lover) or someone trying to look tough (the fighter)?

That said, it also goes beyond this distinction, too – into where a man places his focus and whether he meets the ‘conditions’ for triggering approach invitations and female approaches.