Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

How to Get Her to Say “Yes”

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By: Chase Amante

You meet a girl, and it’s going okay. She’s chatting with you, seems nice enough, and isn’t trying to pry herself away like those girls who really obviously aren’t into you do. Yet, she isn’t exactly throwing herself at you, either.

So, you decide to get some more investment from her; partly as a compliance test to see where you’re at, and partly also to ratchet up attraction by making her get a foot in the game too (instead of sitting on the bench watching you play).

To do this, you ask her to move a little ways with you: “Hey, let’s move over there, the lighting’s much better.”

But, she says no: “I’m comfortable here, I don’t want to move.”

get her to say yes

Gulp. What do you do now?

If you stay and keep talking as if nothing happened, you’ve yielded control of the interaction to her, and if experience has told you anything it’s that whatever chances you had before are sunk now.

Yet if you leave, the chance you’ll get another shot with her is not so hot; you can always reopen her later on, but there’s a good chance she’ll be gone or locked up in conversation with someone else by then, and you won’t exactly be riding back in on a majestic white horse at that point either. You’ll just be that guy she didn’t connect with earlier who circles back around for another shot.

As a third alternative, you could launch into a hard push... but she’s not that sold on you yet so you realize your chances of pulling this off are dim, and besides, you don’t really want to pull the nuke out of your arsenal this early on and launch into a battle of wills before the game is even afoot.

At this point, it may well seem like your interaction with her is all out of gas, and you’ve no choice left but to pull off the highway and hitchhike home.

But what if she says no and you respond another way?

“I Can’t Get Girls Because Girls Only Want [BLANK]”

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By: Chase Amante

Four friends gathered together at a bar for a drink after work. As they sipped down their beers, the conversation drifted to talk of women... and their myriad troubles with them.

“I can’t get girls, bros,” sighed the good-looking man forlornly. “And it’s because – of course! – they only want to date guys with money.” He looked around at his friends, waiting for a response.

can't get girls because

“Hmph,” said the wealthy man, responding. “You think you’ve got it bad? I can’t get girls because they only want to date guys who are tall!”

“Pssh, that’s nothing,” said the tall man. “The reason I can’t get girls is because they only ever get with guys who are white.”

“That sucks, but you know what the worst is?” said the average-looking white man. “The worst is that girls only want to be seen with guys who are good-looking.”

How to Live an Interesting Life

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By: Chase Amante

One of our senior discussion board members (and a contributor the main site) who’s going through a rough patch right now suggested a couple of article topics. One of these was on living an interesting life:

“How to Live an Interesting Life – I feel that my life outside of the occasional woman or pool game is quite mundane. I’m not someone who likes having nothing to do but inevitably my day-to-day living involves nothing but sitting around and twiddling my thumbs right now. So, I’d like to see an article on leading an interesting life.”

interesting life

I think the most important thing about leading an “interesting life” to understand is that “interesting” is a highly subjective concept... and the way most folks talk about it is best understood from the outside, not the inside.

All Women Long to Taste Adventure

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By: Chase Amante

What do these men have in common?

  • The wealthy investment banker or self-made multimillionaire business owner lounging in the VIP section of the nightclub with bottles of champagne, or skating about town in his brightly colored Lamborghini.

  • The sexy Mediterranean man, a silky accent rolling off of his Spanish or Italian or Greek lips, a specific flair about him that makes him seem rich with experience, intrigue, and hints of the romantic.

  • The enigmatic artist, a lone writer or fervent painter, who exists outside the system – neither retail worker nor manual laborer nor cubicle desk jockey, but creative, tortured soul consumed by his demons, and by a passion few keep past their first decade of life.

woman adventure

All these men have various different things going for them that trigger an assortment of different attraction triggers in women:

Yet, there is also something about each man that the majority of men a woman meets lacks.

It is not something he is, so much...

It is something he offers her.

This thing he offers her is an adventure – one of romance, one of excitement, one of the unknown. One that seems to step right out of the romance novels women turn the pages of with ardor when no one is around to watch them (frequently slipping a hand delicately into their panties as they do so).

Adventure is the great equalizer, and it is the reason you will see overweight, balding, non-rich men ending up with women that trim, good-looking, well-off men struggle to get. Not because the former man is better, per se... but because he offered her something the latter may not have even known was important to bother offering.

Why Girls Don’t Like Hooking Up with “Regulars”

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By: Chase Amante

An experience a friend of mine had recently, while kicking back at a bar drinking with a few of his friends, and chatting up the occasional girl or two in range:

“... but then a really pretty babe saw me who had already agreed to meet me for a date. She came up and said ‘Are you Will?' And I said hi. She was like ‘Are you here like all the time?' and the bartender was like ‘oh yea, he's here a lot.'

Later I got a text from her saying: ‘I'm not going to be able to meet you for our date, and I can't reschedule. Best of luck!'

Lol. Oh well. I never thought socializing at night would ever work AGAINST me, but I guess there is a first for everything!”

Definitely a bummer (and actually pretty rude). Highest admiration to my friend for taking that with the kind of poise and elegance he typically does. If you're not fully attuned to the social dynamics at play here, in addition to being hurtful, rude, and flighty, it can also look downright random.

hooking up regulars

It's obvious there's some kind of value judgment going on: “Oh, you're a regular? Oh... erm... uh... yeah, I can't see you again. Have a nice life!”

A big enough value judgment to totally flip her from, “Sure, let's go on a date and see where it leads,” to, “Erk – no.”

Yet, there's more at play here than meets the eye, and the value flop is only a part of it.

So what's so bad about being a regular, anyway?

Like a Moth to the Flame

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By: Chase Amante

I used to think the old phrasing was a fairly straightforward affair. Moths, and flames... one remains in place, bright and beckoning, while the other flutters toward it with abandon, desperate to bask in the light of its warmth and radiance.

“Be the flame, not the moth,” advised Casanova... and it would seem to be simple enough advice.

moth to the flame

Yet, one of the things that you learn you must be as you drive ever deeper into seduction is nuanced, not straightforward.

Complex, not simple.

A woman does not fancy a man who is too easily understood. Nor is being that man quite nearly as interesting.

And I realized, while thinking some things over one night working in a room, watching a number of large brown moths fluttering frantically and futilely at my window screen to enter the room and reach the light, and a number of smaller insects that had dropped, burned and singed onto my bed cover, after having attained the object that called to them so alluringly from the ceiling above, that this turn of the phrase was one that, like the men and women it describes, has a bit more nuance to it than it seems at first.

How to Be Cool: 4 Lessons from Science and Hollywood

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By: Chase Amante

I taught myself how to be “cool” as a junior high student many years ago. It was an intuitive process for me at the time, though filled with social experiments and trial and error – and lots of beating up on myself to get it just right.

I’ve spent years trying to figure out a good way to teach all the aspects of being cool. A way to boil it all down to something simple, streamlined, and easily remembered and used by anyone who aspires to “cool”: who wants to be that person that everybody else just looks at and says, “Man, that guy is cool.”

how to be cool

How do you transform someone who “doesn’t get it” – whom others laugh at, make fun of, disrespect, or ignore – into someone they look up to, gravitate toward, and esteem?

To do this, of course, you need good tactics – you need to be able to give them the “what to do”; but more than this, you need the underlying principles: what is it about cool people that just makes them so damn cool?

Well, after years of non-starters on an article about this, I will say that I have successfully boiled “cool” down to four (4) core elements that are eminently doable and absolutely teachable.

Get all four of these right, and you will be – without question – unstoppably, unspeakably, almost unbearably cool.

And the best news is, all any of them takes is a little practice and, yes... a little discipline.

Is Trivializing the Root of All Interpersonal Woes?

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By: Chase Amante

I was doing some reading the other day when I came across the term “trivializing.”

It gets thrown about in popular media, and often is something you learn to somewhat ignore, just because of how often people lament others “trivializing” some XYZ “really big deal” to them, that seems trite or overblown to others.

And yet...

trivializing

Examine the classic debate between two opposites. Say someone who is pro-renewable energy because he wants to save the planet, and someone else who is pro-fossil fuels because he doesn’t want to be forced to pay top dollar for new, less effective technologies when cheaper alternatives are available.

The first guy accuses the second guy of killing the planet. The second guy feels like the first guy is trivializing his need to not burn a hole in his wallet, and becomes offended, and tells him off. The first guy then feels like the second guy is trivializing his desire to save the planet as an ignoble cause, and fiercely retorts.

This is a case of crossed wires communication-wise of the sort we discussed in “Dale Carnegie’s Most Life-Changing Piece of Advice”, but it goes broader than this, because trivializing comes in many shapes and forms, and it’s hard to detect and harder to combat in nearly all of them.

A Failed Relationship is a Failure of Leadership

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By: Chase Amante

Who’s fault is it when a relationship fails?

Two words for you: the man’s.

Usually.

failed relationship

Note: a relationship failure is something different than letting a relationship decline and die, or just breaking up with a girl, because you’ve lost interest or other things in your life have taken precedence or she’s let herself go and is no longer meeting your requirements for someone you’ll keep around in a relationship capacity.

In that case, while a female observer would still consider it a “failed relationship”, from the standpoint of the male it probably isn’t (unless it’s a case of her letting herself go... then, maybe it is, if she was what you wanted before that but stopped being it after it). In that case, it’s just a relationship that didn’t work out.

When I say “failed relationship” here, what I’m talking about is a relationship that you really wanted to work out... but it went belly up anyway.

Is it ever the woman’s fault?

Yes, sometimes. Rarely. In the case where the relationship is a female dominated one because the man has yielded to her the role of captain aboard the good ship Relation... in that case, he is following her lead, and the direction the relationship goes is up to her.

Even then though, I’m torn... because most women who lead don’t want to do it, and resent men who make them do it as weak. If I’m the officer of a military unit and I hand over my command to one of my subordinates, who then goes on to lead us right smack into a disaster, am I absolved of all blame, or do I still take some too?

The large majority of the time, across most kinds of relationships, it’s the fault of you, the man – and nearly always, it’s a failure of leadership that causes the relationship to fold.

The 7 Decisions Every Man Who Will be Successful Makes

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By: Chase Amante

Note from Chase: this is a guest post by one of our forum members, Rob Hortzclaw, with editing by Marty, another of our members. Rob’s put together a really solid, detailed, and lengthy piece here (I clocked it at over 7,000 words!) - it’s quite wonderful. I hope you enjoy... here’s Rob.

Want to know the difference between someone who tries his hand at pick-up/seduction and fails, and someone who tries his hand at pick-up and succeeds in transforming his dating life?

Good, I’m glad you asked!

I first stumbled across Girls Chase material in late 2012, after incessantly investing in and thinking about a girl, and having her reject me. It was painful, and all I wanted thereafter was to actually get a girlfriend and have a relationship.

These days, I’m still in the process of doing so... though my goals have changed a bit.

I’m nowhere near mastery of seduction, though I have wrung myself through the meat grinder, have gotten success through cold approach and social circle, and have done things that I would’ve previously thought impossible for myself. In other words, I’m on the path to mastery and I owe much of my success to just 7 decisions.

7 decisions

Back to your original question – what is the difference between failure and success when learning seduction? Someone who tries this stuff and fails doesn’t think the same way as someone who decides he is going to get better with women.

Did you catch the difference between my descriptions of each?

The guy who succeeds in seduction makes several decisions different from the ones made by the guy who tries his hand and drops out.

The interesting thing is that these decisions seem blindingly obvious, but the power behind them is absolutely earth-shattering (or paradigm-shattering) if harnessed.