Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Why You Absolutely Need to Assume Attraction with Women

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By: Chase Amante

I’ve been seeing more of the writers and senior members on the discussion boards reminding guys that you must assume attraction recently. This is one of those things that comes second nature when you’re farther along the path of doing great with girls, but can be an odd piece of advice to encounter when you’re new.

“Assume attraction” is a necessary ingredient in your seductions if you want those seductions to get anywhere. It’s what stops you from spending endless time deliberating about whether a girl is interested or not, whether she likes you, and whether you ought to advance things with her... or not.

assume attraction

What happens is that most newer guys do not assume attraction, and instead spend their time looking for signs of attraction instead (without being all that adept at reading these signs).

They are waiting for women to signal to them that they should move forward with their seductions.

Yet, for similar reasons to what we covered in “The Paradox of the Flirty Girl” for why you shouldn’t put too much stock in flirtation, if you’re sitting there trying to figure out if she likes you before you do anything, you’re going to fall flat.

You’re going to miss out on 95% of the women who really do like you.

Because most of the time, they’re going to be too busy being attracted to you to worry about signaling to you that they are.

At What Point Do You Give Up?

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By: Chase Amante

In response to my statement in “Real Empiricists Test”, uForia asked a follow up question on how you can tell the difference between something not working because you’re not getting right, and something not working because it simply doesn’t work:

“I think for most new guys, skepticism comes up when they follow your instructions but it blew up anyways, which questions your legitimacy. It is uncertain for many beginners like myself whether your method needs more practice or it’s just random PUA junk. Again, I didn’t say this to offend you or anything (I think you’re probably mature enough to not be offended anyways), as I’m sure you had difficulties finding what works and what doesn’t as well.”

In other words, when should you give up?

when do you give up

This is a non-trivial question, and it’s one that’s pretty necessary to have some sort of an answer to. Because if you can’t tell when you’ve been tossing your time away on something that just doesn’t work, well... you can end up being that guy who goes and does 5000 approaches and still can’t get laid.

And you don’t want to be that guy.

The good news is that most people have a limit where they reach where they just give up without anyone having to tell them to do so... the bad news is that for most people that limit comes far too early, and for some it comes far too late.

7 Reasons Why All Girls are Naughty Girls

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By: Chase Amante

naughty girlsFew things capture the mind’s attention as much as naughty girls do. Those female celebrities we deem “naughty” get more press than anybody else in Hollywood. The girls in your social circle who come with the “naughty girl” label attached get talked about, competed for and with, and debated more than any other male or female. And everyone has a strong opinion on them – love them, hate them, or both at the same time.

What you may not realize, though, is why people are so obsessed with the naughty girls around them and in their media. Why is that saucy, spicy, naughty women command us to pay attention so?

The reason – the real, core reason – is because ALL girls are naughty girls... and deep down each of us knows this.

Some men hope that by sharing opinions unfavorable toward naughty behavior, they’ll encourage girls to keep a lid on it and be the “good wives”, as it were; other men hope that by praising naughtiness, they’ll open up a world of naughty, slutty, sexually liberated women for their own enjoyment.

And women? Women are a constant mess of trying to decide if they should banish their naughty side to the hinterlands, or switch it on full throttle and enjoy the ride.

What’s this mean for you? Well, if you’re a man, and you’re trying to act like that cute, sweet little angel you’re dating doesn’t have a nasty, naughty nymph lurking deep within her, you’re doing her a great disservice by leaving an important part of her unsatisfied. And failing to satisfy women creates problems for you, both in sleeping with new women, and in hanging onto the ones you’ve already got.

If you’re a woman, and you’ve been keeping your naughty side under lock-and-key, even with your boyfriends, well... you should probably think about reconsidering that... before you explode. There is great seductive power in naughtiness, and a woman who knows how to tap into her naughty, steer it, and control it is one who knows how to work men with the best of them, and consistently get what she wants.

Yet, in case you are not yet convinced, I’ve compiled a list of the seven (7) key reasons why all girls are naughty girls... and you should find each of these seven reasons every part fun, and informative. Here’s each reason, in no particular order.

Are You Giving Her Sex or Trading for It?

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By: Chase Amante

In the article on using astrology with girls, 340Breeze had a solid comment with an interesting part that I’ll quote in part here (because it’s pretty long):

“Ultimately my question is: when interacting with a woman on a FIRST ‘date’ what is the BEST step by step process where the interaction with a woman ends essentially with the following proposal being issued to the woman: “I’m willing to give you A, but ONLY if you give me B?” where A = (what women value: dominance, sex and orgasms, scintillating conversation, active listening, etc) and B = (all the sex I can stand)? This proposal should be made on EVERY date, but the problem I face is, I don’t always know how to do it in a socially savvy and SMOOTH way on EVERY woman I take out. Because of this lack of finesse, I get nervous (mainly with the less sexually confident women) and hesitate, not because I’m afraid of her saying no, but because I’m afraid of my lack of finesse. This is illogical because who cares if some girl gets offended by my request, but my subconscious mind is fearful because it wants me to be as SMOOTH and subtle as possible. But at the end of the day, if she’s not giving up the vj and FAST then what’s the point in speaking to her?? I want to communicate to women that if they don’t give me sex FAST then I’m uninterested. I could just come out and say it explicitly, but maybe there’s a better way?”

There’s a core worldview here that I think is pretty important to address, because it’s one that I see a lot of guys having, particularly when they’re newer, but even plenty of intermediate and a few advanced guys, too.

That world view is the “sex as trade” world view, where the man offers the woman things she values, and in return the woman provides the man with sex.

giving vs. trading

And to be fair, this isn’t an “incorrect” way of looking at things – it’s as valid as the next perspective. There are men who use this perspective in effective, elegant, and consistent ways. However, there is another perspective, and it is one that, in my opinion, makes intimacy with women a much easier and less daunting thing to pursue and get.

This perspective is not thinking of sex as something you receive from a woman in exchange for things you give her, but rather, something that you give her... in exchange for her meeting your requirements.

Real Empiricists Test

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By: Chase Amante

real empiricists testIn the comments of Saturday’s article about signs you’re in the friend zone, uForia makes the following comment:

“Ive been a long time reader of your articles, and I can’t help but be skeptical at times. Your posts often have a tone of disliking competition from other men, and what makes you even want to help other men? Wouldn’t you be worried that other men will take your girl eventually due to the popularity of this blog? Or does making money off this site offset the potential costs seen there? I know whenever other men ask me for advice, I always tell them to be nice and confident, of course knowing that the advice won’t help at all.

What really are your motivations for your website?”

Leaving aside the suspicions of my motivations for running Girls Chase (which seem to imply that I’ve spent the past 5.5 years of my life, 3.5 of them full time, investing 6,000+ hours of my own time and writing somewhere between 1.5 and 2 million words building this site, dealing with all the headaches involved, composing and polishing and curating the content here, and responding to comments in order to wage a long-term, planetary-scale disinformation campaign designed to lead my competition for women down the garden path in order that I might personally have an easier time getting laid), I want to focus on one aspect in particular, and it’s this statement:

“I can’t help but be skeptical at times.”

To be sure, I actively encourage healthy skepticism in anything and everything that doesn’t match up with your prior experience and that you have no way of taking for a trial run.

And I’ll be the last man on Earth to tell you to take anything on faith alone (or even in large part).

And while I understand holding skepticism about things you have no ability to try out for yourself – things like religion, philosophy, or reports about anything remotely occult-related – the subject matter on this website is almost entirely (with a few dives into the theoretical here and there) not that sort of material.

Every single thing on this site is designed to be used, tried out, played with, toyed with, experimented upon, rotated in, weighed against alternatives, and kept if found sound or chucked if found not... not rolled around endlessly and skeptically in your mind as you try to make a decision on whether you want to personally believe it or not.

If you’ve been approaching the material on this site as something that must be taken “on faith”, and waiting for someone else to come along and convince you further, you’ve been coming at it all wrong.

Because I don’t want your faith. Don’t need it, don’t care for it. Never have, and never will.

Rather, I want your tests. Because real empiricists don’t take things on faith. Real empiricists test.

14 Terrible Signs You're Deep in the Friend Zone

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By: Chase Amante

We’ve talked about the friend zone on Girls Chase before: why it’s bad, what it looks like, and how to get out of it.

But you’ve asked for more.

You’ve asked for clear signs you can look for that are undeniable proof you’ve careened off the Road to Sexytimes and into the Bog of Asexuality. Irrefutable sign posts that the good times of dreaming about lovingly gazing into one another’s eyes are long behind you, and you now exist solely to stroke her ego as proof that she is so charming, so wonderful, and so hypnotically mesmerizing that great guys like you will just hang around in awe of her... all while she samples her fill of sexy bad boys.

friend zone

Well, never fear. While the greatest danger of the friend zone is your own denial, all the rest we will solve with this enlightening post.

So, provided you can handle the healthy dose of cognitive dissonance you’ll receive from discovering that the girl you were so certain you were just one more funny text message away from talking onto your johnston really doesn’t think of you “that way" and probably never will, let’s dive in...

... and arm you with the 14 Terrible Signs You’re Deep in the Friend Zone.

The Truth About Social Proof

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By: Chase Amante

Note from Chase: this is our second guest post from Will Legend; Will’s first article here was his piece on social anxiety. This article gives you some solid reasons why guys getting started should not get too hung up worrying about preselection and social proof and use the lack of these as an excuse to not approach new women.

If you haven’t read Robert Cialdini’s Influence, I highly, highly recommend it. It explains the psychology of compliance and what the factors are that drive a person to say “yes”. Cialdini comes up with six factors that influence a person to comply with a request, and one of these six factors is social proof.

social proof

Now, social proof has been talked about as a critical component of seduction, and we’ll get into that in a bit. But first, let’s talk about what social proof is and give some examples of it.

Handling Awkwardness and Social Shunning on a Small Scale

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By: Chase Amante

I’ve been seeing more questions lately in both the article comments sections and on the boards from men who are ending up in awkward situations where some girl they’ve flirted with and expressed interest has turned them down... but they keep running into her socially.

How do you act around a girl like this? What do you do? What if she’s cold to you and ignores you, or treats you like you’re beneath her?

social shunning

I’m going to assume for the purposes of this article that you’re at least somewhat socially savvy, and that most people like you and find you reasonably attractive and cool. If that’s not the case, and you are universally socially shunned or socially ostracized (more or less), this post won’t help with that, and you’ll need to focus on leveling up your social calibration, and getting other “coolness factors” handled, like edginess, sprezzatura, and a devil may care attitude, first.

But if you’re normally a pretty well-liked guy, yet suddenly find yourself dealing with some girl things have gotten awkward around or who is downright treating you as subhuman, then this article is for you; it’s all about saving face, and turning her reaction to you right around.

Male Authority and Female Lust

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By: Chase Amante

The cocky owner of a small business bends one of his female employees over his desk after hours on a Friday afternoon, when the other employees have gone home, including a pair of male office workers who’ve been competing for that same female coworker of theirs for months.

Across town, an arrogant-but-charismatic high school running back trots off the football field after a loss. Most of the team’s down in the dumps, but he’s not; he’s taking one of the cheerleaders for a “ride around town” tonight. She’ll be the fourth cheerleader he’s slept with from his school’s squad.

male authority

That night, a trio of cute girls in flashy, sequined dresses stay past closing time in a semi-popular nightclub there in town for an “after party” that involves them, a bartender, a doorman, and the club owner. All three of the girls are naked in under an hour, and though the routine is getting a little old for each of them, all three of the men still enjoy sleeping with his new girl.

At the same time that evening, a psychologist has a discrete liaison with one of his troubled-but-sensual patients. She knows he’s married and has a family, and the last thing she wants to be is a home wrecker... but she really can’t help herself.

There are a few somethings each of these situations have in common with one another: they are male authority... and female lust.

But the greater irony under all these tales is the one that many average men who haven’t experienced such dalliances themselves spend time boiling with envy over, and vainly try to point out to any woman they can catch the ear of: outside of these environments, with this artificial position power they’ve constructed for themselves or happened into, these men are nobodies... and without that authority those men have, these women probably wouldn’t be very attracted to them.

Yet nevertheless, they are.

Satisficing and Seduction; or, Why You Probably Won't be a Bachelor Forever

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By: Chase Amante

I’m going to wade back into theory on this one, a la “Picking Up Girls and the Game of Asymmetric Returns.” Only this time, we’ll be looking at the end game of picking up, instead of the middle game. Worth noting that some of the examples in this article are as well inspired by Nassim Taleb’s Fooled by Randomness – very good book.

Riz asks a few questions in the article on office politics about “settling down”:

“This leads me to my question(s)

1) Do successful seducers who see beyond classic dating ‘settle down’ ? – Thinking about it, why would they – They know that whichever girl they are with right now, there is probably out there somewhere, a girl who is even sexier, more intelligent, more fun, successful etc etc – They know they will never find Ms.Perfect – So why ‘settle’ – Whats the point?

Surely on of the big reasons most guys settle is because they fall in love with a girl and can’t help but cling onto her in false belief that they will never find another girl like her, they have to marry her now to solidify heir destined relationship and if things ever go wrong and they divorce then that’s it, life over.

2) What are your thoughts specifically on ‘settling down’ – I don’t know why exactly but even uttering those words ‘settle down’ sounds to me like giving up almost. To me it just sounds so defeatist. Why would anybody want to settle down lol, its crazy.

And I am not a young man either, I have though this for quite a while. Seems hardly anybody else really relates though.

It’s like for most, settling down is the ultimate goal to achieve in life. Everyone always talks about it in group ‘ah so are you settled yet?’ – And i’m like ‘uhh no...., should I?’”

These are good questions, yeah. Personally, I’ve never had a problem with the idea of long-term relationships and children, but the concept of “settling down” has always bugged me to high heaven... since I was a small boy, in fact.

There’s just something about how most “ordinary” folks define “settling down” as something that sounds, to someone like me, and Riz too by the sound of it, like “giving up on your dreams.”

It’s like saying “I’ve done all that I’m going to do; now it’s time to ‘get serious’ and go get a wife and a house with a white picket fence and go be a wage slave for the next 30 or 40 years so I can afford to pay off the mortgage on my McMansion and fleet of minivans, then die.”

satisficing and seduction

When you’re someone who wants to do more with his life than the ordinary, you’ll tend to be quite allergic to the idea of settling down.

Yet, as alluring as the idea of bouncing around from one woman to the next until the end of time can seem, almost nobody does it... including all the men who assure you in their teens, twenties, and early thirties that they, definitely will stay single forever.

Why is that – why does almost everybody (including the folks who claim not to want to) eventually end up “settling down”?

Well, it’s all down to a little term called “satisficing.”