Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

The 7 Decisions Every Man Who Will be Successful Makes

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By: Chase Amante

Note from Chase: this is a guest post by one of our forum members, Rob Hortzclaw, with editing by Marty, another of our members. Rob’s put together a really solid, detailed, and lengthy piece here (I clocked it at over 7,000 words!) - it’s quite wonderful. I hope you enjoy... here’s Rob.

Want to know the difference between someone who tries his hand at pick-up/seduction and fails, and someone who tries his hand at pick-up and succeeds in transforming his dating life?

Good, I’m glad you asked!

I first stumbled across Girls Chase material in late 2012, after incessantly investing in and thinking about a girl, and having her reject me. It was painful, and all I wanted thereafter was to actually get a girlfriend and have a relationship.

These days, I’m still in the process of doing so... though my goals have changed a bit.

I’m nowhere near mastery of seduction, though I have wrung myself through the meat grinder, have gotten success through cold approach and social circle, and have done things that I would’ve previously thought impossible for myself. In other words, I’m on the path to mastery and I owe much of my success to just 7 decisions.

7 decisions

Back to your original question – what is the difference between failure and success when learning seduction? Someone who tries this stuff and fails doesn’t think the same way as someone who decides he is going to get better with women.

Did you catch the difference between my descriptions of each?

The guy who succeeds in seduction makes several decisions different from the ones made by the guy who tries his hand and drops out.

The interesting thing is that these decisions seem blindingly obvious, but the power behind them is absolutely earth-shattering (or paradigm-shattering) if harnessed.

Barriers to Entry in Pickup and How They Affect Success

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By: Chase Amante

We’ve discussed various different avenues men use (and you can tap) to meet new women on here in the past:

pickup barriers to entry

I favor cold approach personally, but you can certainly make social circle or workplace dating or online work, and in fact that’s how most men meet their women.

And that’s what I want to talk about today: how you meet women and barriers to entry to those avenues.

Because in a lot of ways, meeting girls is just like doing business, and barriers to entry are no exception; the lower these are, the higher the competition, and the tinier the rewards.

The Look: Make Your Eye Contact Piercing

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By: Chase Amante

One of the most powerful means of communicating with others nonverbally is by calling up your most piercing, incisive eye contact.

I sometimes also call this the “death stare” or the “predatory look.” It’s the ability to stare into someone else and make her feel as though you’re staring directly into her soul... sizing her up... preparing to DO something to her, though she can only guess at WHAT.

piercing eye contact

This is one of those things that can be extremely effective wielded properly – it can shoot sexual tension through the roof, make you physically intimidating even to men twice your size, and communicate “I mean business” to anyone and everyone like nothing else really can (although it can also send you directly to creepy guy land if you aren’t careful how you deploy it).

Early on in life, I learned that not everyone had this ability – in fact, few did. A high school English teacher of mine described it as “the ability to stare at someone and put fear into his heart just with a look.”

But you can also use it to put warmth, arousal, inspiration, or just about any other emotion into another person’s heart as well.

That same high school English teacher of mine described this as something you either have, or you don’t... but I’ve heard that said about LOTS of things I’ve gone on to learn or teach, and I’d be surprised if this is any different.

I’ve never tried to teach this before because I didn’t really know how to teach it... at least for me personally, it’s something I’ve always had (from the day I was born, according to the stories).

However, in the interest of giving it a good crack – because it’s an awesome power if you can attain it – I’d like to try.

You're Passing Up the Hottest, Coolest Girls

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By: Chase Amante

hottest coolest girlsWhen I first moved to California, I set up a number of dates in advance (thanks, online dating!) so that I’d be able to hit the ground running when I got there.

My first date I set up for one week after I’d arrived (I wanted a little time to unpack and make my place presentable first... plus, after a 5-day cross-country drive, I really just wanted to settle in for a few days and see some friends in town before I dialed up on girls).

When that first date showed up one week later, I was floored – she’d looked good in her pictures, but in person she was absolutely smoking hot. I fell instantly in love. But she never quite reciprocated those emotions to me, and when we ended up back at my apartment at the end of the date and I tried to kiss her, she rejected this, told me she was uncomfortable, and left.

My second date was the next night. For this date, I drove about 30 minutes north of town and met her near where she lived. She met me wearing a white, modest wedding-style dress (unbeknownst to me, she’d apparently just gotten married – when I saw it, I thought, “Is that a wedding dress? Nah... there’s no way,” but apparently, it was), sipping a plastic cup of champagne. She was very cute, with a quite attractive face and waist-length hair, but I wasn’t super impressed at the time. We slept together a few hours later, and I was pretty happy then, because not only did she have a pretty face and great hair, but her body was absolutely killer. I hadn’t really realized it when I saw her in her modest (wedding) dress.

The girl from the first date I saw a few more times over the years, and only years later did I realize that face-wise, she wasn’t really that cute. And body-wise, well, she was thin by American standards, but not so by international ones, and her breasts were non-existent.

She just dressed and acted sexy. Bright colors, big sunglasses that left more of her face to the imagination, alternately suggestive and aloof behavior, like what we talked about in “Elegance, Sexiness, and Average, Normal People.”

Yet, she’d been the one I was excited about, while the one who was the whole package I’d merely thought “meh” at the time about.

And I see so many guys doing this all the time, getting caught up on the wrong girls, and then getting bitter because of how those girls treat them.

It’s kind of a clown show that we all fall victim to.

Anatomy of a Failed Date

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By: Chase Amante

I found myself seated several evenings ago next to a young couple who were obviously on a first date. The girl was thin and okay-looking, though she’d lopped her hair off into a not-very-attractive medium-length boy cut, while the man was tall and lanky with a somewhat awkward accent I couldn’t quite place, but otherwise not too bad. She was dressed more fashionably than he was, her in a frilly white button down shirt, while he seemed to just be wearing a standard t-shirt or polo shirt.

My ears perked up because it was obvious from the moment I sat down that the guy had some game; what I’m always curious of in these types of situations, though, is, “How much?”

As it turned out, the guy had just enough game to get the girl extremely excited about him... before running the date straight into a concrete wall.

failed date

And that’s what I want to talk about today, because the things this guy did right and the ones he did wrong are something I see lots of newer guys making in their dates and interactions, and ones I certainly made a lot myself early on.

Because it often isn’t the “grabbing her interest and exciting her” part guys fail at; it’s all the stuff that comes after that.

Styled for Summer Contest

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By: Chase Amante

We’ve teamed up with SexyStyleForJoe.com to give you an exclusive opportunity to get styled for the summer (and beyond!). Once lucky winner will win a private styling session with SexyStyleForJoe.com’s style-master Darius, who will personally advise you on how to upgrade your look.

styled for summer

Artificial Hierarchies vs. Personal Appeal

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By: Chase Amante

I want to make a brief side trip from seduction today to talk about a broader social distinction you will run into that it’s vitally important to understand.

That is the distinction between artificial hierarchies and personal appeal.

artificial hierarchies

In the broader social arena, when it comes to getting hired on jobs, or dealing with legal issues, or negotiating mano-e-mano, or differentiating even between social circle game and cold approach pickup, you’ll find that most people seem to be stronger in one area – navigating and leveraging artificial hierarchies, or appealing to and swaying individuals personally – than they are the other.

And when you’re in your element, you will often find things easier; conversely, when you’re out of it, things will often become fiendishly hard and you will not know why.

The reason why frequently is because you’re trying to achieve your objectives using the wrong strategy for the situation at hand... because each of these two types of power structures require very different approaches.

Very few people ever come to grasp this well enough to move fluidly back and forth between the two.

Are There No Second Chances with Women?

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By: Chase Amante

second chancesA reader writes in, asking the following questions:

“”Chase,

I’ve read several of your articles, and I can relate to quite a bit of what you say. However, it seems to me that in your scenarios, the guy is always the one who is at fault. It’s as though the girl is fully functional, prepared to choose who she is interested in and whether or not the guy fits in to one of her categories,  I guess robotic in a way. What I’m trying to get at mainly is the no second chance with women idea. Like if you don’t move fast enough she is gone for good. Is it really the case that the guy has to do everything right or else he is out? This perplexes me as we live in a society where equal opportunity for race, genders, and sexuality is at the forefront. In the corporate world and in the military, women are continually given more and more power/leadership/etc. They are no longer viewed as the traditional queen role from what I see. In this respect, why must the guy solely be the one to make things happen fast, take her as his lover before she flees to the next guy, and so on.

Perhaps I have read your writings incorrectly, but your advice (though as I said much of it rings true with me) seems to put the vast majority of the burden on the guy’s shoulders.

Also, let’s say that I screwed it up with a chick. I took her as my lover, but then later decided she was no longer interested. Walked away, realized I made a mistake. Apologized a couple weeks later, she says she has moved on to someone else. Your principles seem to be true here at first, but when she blames me for the fallout, then comes to the bar that night and makes out with me, only to run off and go kiss on some guy’s cheek, and give all sorts of mixed signals thereafter, things get hazy. No second chances, but I’ll make out with you? It just doesn’t click with me that anyone has all of this figured out. Life isn’t black and white, I don’t think.

I would appreciate your reply!””

So, there are a lot of interesting questions and themes in here worth addressing:

  • Are there no second chances with women?
  • Is it all on the man to make things happen?
  • What about equality?
  • Why do women send mixed signals?
  • Why do women flirt if they don’t want you?

I’m not really going to talk about the other bullets here – I addressed the “do/should guys REALLY have to do EVERYTHING?” question here a few weeks ago: “What Role Should Women Play in the Mating Game?” I’ll throw a quick bone to that one though because I have a couple more things to say on it you should find interesting. The third bullet is addressed in that post, and the fourth and fifth in these two: “Mixed Signals from a Girl: What These Mean” and “The Paradox of the Flirty Girl.”

Let’s talk about second chances though, because that’s one it seems like a lot of guys want to know about, and it’s worth discussing for sure.

She Must Never Become Your Mission

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By: Chase Amante

never become your missionI happened upon an article entitled “An Open Letter To My Future Wife: How I Plan To Make You Happy Every Day Of Your Life” earlier today, written without a doubt very sincerely to the author’s imagined future wife – here’s a short excerpt:

“I promise to do my best to make you beam daily, so count on many surprises. Your smile will be my priority. I get weak knees when anybody smiles, so just imagine the effort I will make to be the source of yours.

I promise I will always look at you with the same adoration as I did the moment I realized I loved you.

I promise to try to ignite the same sparkle in your eyes I see when you’re surprised, inspired, motivated or when you are about to lean in to kiss me.

I promise to hold your hand when we’re 80 years old with the same liveliness that I did when I crossed that line to hold yours for the first time. I vow never to let the excitement of dating me die down; I will surprise you with the location, the reason or the activity itself.

I promise to keep you guessing where we’re going next.  I promise to do my best always to interest you. I will keep reinventing myself, gaining new hobbies, new knowledge and new interests to keep you — and myself — entertained.”

... and it goes on like this for quite a bit.

At the bottom of the article are plenty of Facebook comments from girls praising (sort of) the article, of course, saying things like:

never become your mission

never become your mission

never become your mission

There’s even a female commenter saying (jokingly) “Marry me!”

But of course, no one’s actually lining up to marry this guy... despite all he’s promised.

How to Check Out a Girl Openly and Turn Her On

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By: Chase Amante

A reader named Nick writes in with the following question, wondering how to check out a girl:

“Hey Chase,
        Love the site! Incredible and concise/no B.S. information! I didn’t see where to shoot you a questions but I was interested in your take on checking out women. Is there a right and wrong way to do it. One that makes them feel sexy and shows my masculine presense vs just being another guy chicking out a great ass or pair of phenominal tits. Would love to see an article on checking out women the right way so that both parties (especially me) enjoys it. I live in NYC and it’s coming up on good weather. It’s sometimes hard (pun intended) not to look. Cheers!

Nick”

how to check out a girl

The short answer to Nick is yes – there absolutely is a way to check her out in a way that makes you come off strong, masculine, and sexually appealing, and that turns her on and makes her excited to be getting checked out by you.

And there are also plenty of ways that instantly make you “just another guy” checking her out, too.

What’s the difference? It’s what we’ll discuss in this article.

So let’s have a look at how to check a girl out in a way that actually turns her on, and makes her want to get to know you – rather than the opposite.