Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
  1. Articles by Author
  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

12 Traits All Boring, Unsexy Nice Guys Have in Common

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

nice guysIn “How to Use Astrology with Girls", Balla puts in a request in the comments section:

“Yo Chase, I think you should make an article about un sexy friendly guy traits. Like how you mention not to hug because it’s platonic, sending girls pictures/asking, laughing or smiling to much and a few other things guys might not know what they’re doing that are very hard to detect. You just point out all the negative mannerisms and characteristics and tell us what we should do instead. I think it’ll be a great article.”

I thought this would be both a fun article to do, and one that hopefully will point out to some guys some harmful thinking they might have going on, and things they’re doing with girls that they’re shooting themselves in the feet with.

So, here goes... 12 traits that all boring, unsexy nice guys have in common.

Dale Carnegie's Most Life-Changing Piece of Advice

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

A little while back, when I was in my early 20s, I first read Dale Carnegie’s perennial bestseller How to Win Friends and Influence People. Many of the approaches described within it were things I knew, or affirmed what I felt, but sometimes the best kind of advice is this way; you think you’re doing things right, and then someone far more experienced than you comes along and says, “Yep, you’ve got it. In fact, take what you’re doing now and do it more.”

dale carnegie

Because it’s been nearly a decade since I’ve read it, most of its lessons have faded from my mind, and all I remember about it was one key lesson from it. However, that lesson has influenced how I’ve dealt with people in such a profound way that I don’t think I’ll ever forget it no matter how much time passes.

[edit: was rolling Napoleon Hill’s Laws of Success up as one of Carnegie’s works... forgive the brain fart]

Yet, pound-for-pound, the key takeaway from Win Friends and Influence People for me has been one of the best takeaways from any book I’ve yet read period.

Before I tell you what that is, let me tell you what I’ve noticed about how most people communicate with one another.

What to Do When a Girl Won't Go Home with You

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girl won't come homeA reader named Konstantin writes in:

“Hi Chase and the team!

I have read most of your articles, and especially those on moving fast and inviting her home. I have a question: it happened to me quite a few times now that I invite a girl home with me, and she gets ever so close to coming, but changes her mind at the last moment, and there's nothing I can do to change her mind back. Just tonight, actually, she was giving me some resistance, but got off the subway at the stop next to mine. But when "our" train was arriving, she suddenly said, once again, that she should go home, and after three "no"s I let her go. I knew for a fact that she liked me, but what did I do wrong that prevented that last push from happening? If you can answer that in a post or an email, that would be very much appreciated.”

Few things in seduction are quite as irritating as having a girl you’ve spent an hour or two or more talking to and working with and navigating around countless social obstacles bail on you 2 yards from the goal line.

It feels like you’ve been suckered... that whole night, which you had already checked off as “in the bag”, in an instant goes 180 degrees and becomes a fruitless night.

Most of the time, when you have a girl bail on you like this, you will never, ever hear from her again, either. You switch from being about to become lovers, and possibly entering into each other’s lives for a long time hereafter if you both really get along pretty well and want to keep seeing one another, to being a couple of strangers it didn’t work out with (and you’re some guy she “almost made a big mistake” with).

So what do you do when a girl won’t go home with you?

Why is Mainstream Dating Advice So Ineffective?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

A few weeks back, in the comments section of “Real Empiricists Test”, a reader asked the following question regarding the gulf between mainstream dating advice and what’s taught on this site:

“Is there an article on this, or maybe someone can answer this outright. But why is it that mainstream dating advice is so contrary to the dating advice given on this site ? Why is it that there is almost no agreement ?”

mainstream dating advice

The short answer, of course, is that what we focus on here is entirely techniques and strategies that:

  1. Achieve efficient, effective, reproducible results

  2. Are tested out and balanced against alternatives and discarded if found ineffective

  3. Are coming from people who’ve devoted a large chunk of time specifically to this field

... whereas most mainstream dating advice is coming from regular folk with limited experience dating and even less time spent studying and analyzing dating and sex and relationships and social dynamics both in the field and with other likeminded folk.

But the fact of that matter is, it goes a lot deeper than this. There’s more to this clash of ideologies than simply field experience vs. non, and it mainly has to do with who’s giving the advice, and what their objectives are in giving it.

The Awesome Power of Tension

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

We’ve talked about building and using tension in several articles on here before:

build tension

... and we’ve also talked about defusing tension, often with humor, as well as why it’s good to not be TOO focused on making girls laugh (and defusing all the tension).

But I want to zero in on the topic of tension specifically, because I see a lot of people still not using it right, or nervously defusing it.

The fact is, tension lies at the foundation of power, and when you wield it correctly, you enable yourself to do all kinds of things socially, sexually, and romantically.

Why "Moving Slow" is the New Moving Fast

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

In the ongoing sexual arms race between men and women, the strategies for securing the highest caliber mates the most reliably are under constant evolutionary pressures. What that means for you is that as women get more accustomed to a certain kind of approach, that approach stops working, and certain other approaches must come to the fore.

Of course, as everyone knows, there’s nothing new under the sun, and just as what was new becomes old, what was old becomes new, in the ever-repeating cycle of life and love.

move slow

So it may surprise you to find out that, while the mantra of this site has been “move fast” since its date of conception, the times have changed, and in order to keep up with those changing times, we’re changing our tune too.

Because, you see, moving fast is so 2000s.

These days, moving fast is the old moving slow... and moving slow is the new moving fast.

Want to Win $200? Submit Your Online Dating Profile & Let's See What You Got...

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

contestHey fellas,

Quick announcement. I’ve agreed to supervise a contest my old pal (“Black Dragon” from the old mASF seduction community boards, if you ever used to frequent there) is running to select the best online dating profile.

Winner gets a $200 pot – and there’re going to be two winners.

How come? Because BD’s running the contest with two sets of judges – one made up of women ages 18 to 32, and the other women ages 33 to 49.

It’s possible that if your profile is BLAZING good, you may win BOTH pots – a cool $400. There’s your car payment for the next month or two (or a two-year subscription to Girls Chase!).

Why You Absolutely Need to Assume Attraction with Women

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

I’ve been seeing more of the writers and senior members on the discussion boards reminding guys that you must assume attraction recently. This is one of those things that comes second nature when you’re farther along the path of doing great with girls, but can be an odd piece of advice to encounter when you’re new.

“Assume attraction” is a necessary ingredient in your seductions if you want those seductions to get anywhere. It’s what stops you from spending endless time deliberating about whether a girl is interested or not, whether she likes you, and whether you ought to advance things with her... or not.

assume attraction

What happens is that most newer guys do not assume attraction, and instead spend their time looking for signs of attraction instead (without being all that adept at reading these signs).

They are waiting for women to signal to them that they should move forward with their seductions.

Yet, for similar reasons to what we covered in “The Paradox of the Flirty Girl” for why you shouldn’t put too much stock in flirtation, if you’re sitting there trying to figure out if she likes you before you do anything, you’re going to fall flat.

You’re going to miss out on 95% of the women who really do like you.

Because most of the time, they’re going to be too busy being attracted to you to worry about signaling to you that they are.

At What Point Do You Give Up?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

In response to my statement in “Real Empiricists Test”, uForia asked a follow up question on how you can tell the difference between something not working because you’re not getting right, and something not working because it simply doesn’t work:

“I think for most new guys, skepticism comes up when they follow your instructions but it blew up anyways, which questions your legitimacy. It is uncertain for many beginners like myself whether your method needs more practice or it’s just random PUA junk. Again, I didn’t say this to offend you or anything (I think you’re probably mature enough to not be offended anyways), as I’m sure you had difficulties finding what works and what doesn’t as well.”

In other words, when should you give up?

when do you give up

This is a non-trivial question, and it’s one that’s pretty necessary to have some sort of an answer to. Because if you can’t tell when you’ve been tossing your time away on something that just doesn’t work, well... you can end up being that guy who goes and does 5000 approaches and still can’t get laid.

And you don’t want to be that guy.

The good news is that most people have a limit where they reach where they just give up without anyone having to tell them to do so... the bad news is that for most people that limit comes far too early, and for some it comes far too late.

7 Reasons Why All Girls are Naughty Girls

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

naughty girlsFew things capture the mind’s attention as much as naughty girls do. Those female celebrities we deem “naughty” get more press than anybody else in Hollywood. The girls in your social circle who come with the “naughty girl” label attached get talked about, competed for and with, and debated more than any other male or female. And everyone has a strong opinion on them – love them, hate them, or both at the same time.

What you may not realize, though, is why people are so obsessed with the naughty girls around them and in their media. Why is that saucy, spicy, naughty women command us to pay attention so?

The reason – the real, core reason – is because ALL girls are naughty girls... and deep down each of us knows this.

Some men hope that by sharing opinions unfavorable toward naughty behavior, they’ll encourage girls to keep a lid on it and be the “good wives”, as it were; other men hope that by praising naughtiness, they’ll open up a world of naughty, slutty, sexually liberated women for their own enjoyment.

And women? Women are a constant mess of trying to decide if they should banish their naughty side to the hinterlands, or switch it on full throttle and enjoy the ride.

What’s this mean for you? Well, if you’re a man, and you’re trying to act like that cute, sweet little angel you’re dating doesn’t have a nasty, naughty nymph lurking deep within her, you’re doing her a great disservice by leaving an important part of her unsatisfied. And failing to satisfy women creates problems for you, both in sleeping with new women, and in hanging onto the ones you’ve already got.

If you’re a woman, and you’ve been keeping your naughty side under lock-and-key, even with your boyfriends, well... you should probably think about reconsidering that... before you explode. There is great seductive power in naughtiness, and a woman who knows how to tap into her naughty, steer it, and control it is one who knows how to work men with the best of them, and consistently get what she wants.

Yet, in case you are not yet convinced, I’ve compiled a list of the seven (7) key reasons why all girls are naughty girls... and you should find each of these seven reasons every part fun, and informative. Here’s each reason, in no particular order.