Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Granting Social Status; and, Not Getting Thrown Under the Bus

Chase Amante's picture

women statusI recently completed an almost 2-hour interview with Glenn Pierce (formerly just Glenn P), a really sharp and talented guy who taught me a thing or two when I wanted to kick my daytime approaching up a notch back in early '07, for his upcoming interview series. While doing the interview - much of it something of a "how you got your start" type piece - we each shared stories of girls early on in our lives (both in junior high) who liked us, who were otherwise really cool girls, yet who, when we approached in awkward / socially unsavvy ways, threw us each under the bus socially, even as they still liked us.

When it happened to me, I immediately understood why it happened - why a girl who still liked me (she continued to flirt with me and give me hints and invitations for years after) - and same deal for Glenn... his girl still liked him (a friend of hers even told him so) - yet these girls so coolly and seemingly ruthlessly tossed us to the wolves, status-wise.

I think this is a thing a lot of guys don't get. Why would a girl do this? A girl who likes you - maybe she even likes you more than anybody else around her - yet she casts you aside.

Maybe you want to judge her. Maybe you want to say that clearly she's a petty person; she's weak; she cares too much what others think and not enough about what she wants.

Maybe you want to say that if she's not willing to take a risk to be with you, then who needs her?

Except this isn't the right approach. If you want success with women, you must have a mind for status - and you must have a mind for protecting and even enhancing the status of the women around you.

Having Lots of Dates in Short Amounts of Time

Chase Amante's picture

While my normal recommendations are that guys stay far out of boyfriend-territory and focus on sealing the deal with girls they like on the first date, the truth is sometimes you're going to move too slow by accident, or not feel confident enough moving quickly with a girl, and you'll wind up as a boyfriend candidate after all.

So what do you do then, when she's not seeing you as a lover, and you can't move fast?

Just give up?

Or do you play the game the way she wants you to play it... but with your own twist?

lots of dates short time

I'm going to introduce you to the concept of date compression in today's article - making dates count for more than a single date, and having a full boyfriend-candidacy dating process in a short amount of time, rather than the protracted courtship these frequently turn out to be.

In the end, you'll be able to take girls who view you as a boyfriend candidate as lovers and as girlfriends much more quickly and reliably than the men who stretch things out - and often lose the girls they like after plowing time and money into trying to get them.

Let's talk about speeding up the entire dating process without skipping steps.

How to Meet Tons of Girls on Plenty of Fish

Chase Amante's picture

plenty of fishPlenty of Fish - as chances are you already know - is an out-and-out treasure trove of young, cool, attractive girls who want to meet cool, sexy guys and... well, it's a dating site.

Thing is, it's a free dating site, which means it's open to the masses... which in turn means the most beautiful women on POF get inundated by messages from hopeful (sometimes desperate) men - so much so that the average pretty girl with options doesn't last longer than a few weeks on the site before throwing her hands up in frustration and resignation and abandoning her account.

And the ones who stick around? Grizzled POF dating veterans who cut through newbie online dating hopefuls like female paramilitary troopers trained at mercilessly crushing and cannibalizing the unready and unprepared.

In this article, I'm going to take you through what I learned in four (4) years of using Plenty of Fish to meet, date, and sleep with tons of new girls, including some of the hottest girls on POF in Southern California.

So sit back, relax, and let's get you doing what most of the rest of the online dating crowd can't do: lining up dates and taking pretty new girls to bed by the bushel.

7 Facial Expressions That Drive Women Wild

Chase Amante's picture

facial expressionsMost guys who want to get good with girls focus primarily what to say when they first start out.

Me? Pretty early on, I focused on facial expressions.

Ever wonder why girls go so crazy for certain Hollywood stars? Many of them are good-looking, sure... but there are plenty of good-looking men out there that women don't go gaga for.

Stars tend to have some preselection going on, and of course there's the money / power / prestige / social status there to back it all up. So that's part of it.

Yet, many great-looking men make it into Hollywood only to never achieve that legendary "sex symbol" status that certain actors do. What sifts the wheat from the chaff?

Well, acting chops, certainly... and hit movies help. But one of the topmost factors is this: charm.

And what's up there in the mix among the chief elements of this mysterious thing called "charm"? You guessed it - it's what we talk about in this post: facial expressions.

If you get the right sensual, powerful, captivating expressions down, you become someone positively mesmerizing to women.

So let's have a look at seven (7) of the best: four flirty and sexy to ramp up your sex appeal with women, and three for putting a little social pressure to good use... while of course still keeping it pretty sexy, too.

Does She Want You as a Boyfriend... or Something Else?

Chase Amante's picture

In the piece on how to treat a woman, a reader shared a tale of having a wonderful date with a girl, ending it by holding hands with her as they walked together, her talking excitedly... only for things to fall apart and her get suddenly uncomfortable when they arrived at his place. He then commented this:

I am in my 40s, well-paid mid-level manager in a prestigious organization. Most of the women I meet are around 25. Even if I don't tell them what I am doing for a living, they just can tell where I stand. The problem I face quite often is "this guy is not in my league, therefore he must be just playing". Can't tease too much, must be careful to show not too high value, and sometimes the move fast approach back fires, as described above.

does she want a boyfriend

Thus enters the status dynamic: the man who is sufficiently high status compared to the girl that she does not want to just sleep with him quickly and one-and-done him, but who is not so high status that he can ask for whatever he wants with her and get it.

He is, in other words, ideal husband material - or, to put it differently, a whole lot more valuable to her as a long-term prospect than a simple fling.

Something I've called, for a long time, the boyfriend dilemma.

The Yes-Ladder and Getting Women to Say “Yes”

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yes ladderDo you ever find yourself in a situation where you'd really like a girl to just go along with what you've got planned, but need a way to get her to do that that she'll agree with?

Wouldn't it be nice if you had a specific technique you could use to just get her to say "yes"?

If you HAD a technique like this, wouldn't you start to use it all KINDS of places in your life to get things to more easily go your way?

Would you like me to give you this technique?

Today we're going to talk about something called the "yes-ladder" - a technique you can use for getting agreement to all kinds of things, provided you know what you're doing and know how to make a semi-compelling argument.

Do I have your interest - and would you like for me to go on?

4 Ways Porn Addiction Changes Your Brain

Chase Amante's picture

porn addictionI've had a few folks write in recently asking about pornography addiction and excessive masturbation. It's not really a subject I've been especially excited about broaching... I mean, who really wants to talk about watching other people do the deed on video while giving himself a hand?

But a few friends who've dealt with this have shared their experiences with me and suggested that I write about it, because they felt it was something that very much negatively affected them when they were in it and they thought this site was one with a wide enough audience that I'd be doing some good talking about it, and could reach a fair number of men.

I even had forwarded along to me by Genaro in customer service an email from a reader who used the contact form to send in what amounted to a full-length sales letter custom written just to urge me to write about this, because it was something he'd gone through and he felt I could really help some people by addressing it on a larger platform.

So, since it seems to be what the people want... let's talk about porn addiction: what causes it, how it sucks you in, why it's bad, and how to break its hold on you.

Where to Find an Amazing Woman: 20 Surprising Places

Chase Amante's picture

where to find a womanSomething I'm being asked lately is where to find a woman who checks off every box on your list. Where do you meet those truly amazing women who are everything you want and more?

You know - a girl who isn't just good... she's great:

Her hair flows perfectly down her neck in gorgeous locks.

Her eyes sparkle with intelligence and energy.

Her perfume captures your attention and waters your mouth.

Her smile makes your heart beat faster and a flush come rushing to your cheeks.

Her personality oozes warmth, curiosity, and zest for life.

Her mind is sharp, and she knows what she wants (and what you want, too).

You actually feel nervous around her. You! Who never gets nervous around anyone!

Where do you find a woman like this? It's not like she's just out walking around waiting to be plucked off the street... is she?

Why "I Want to Be Liked" Makes You Unattractive to Others

Chase Amante's picture

want to be likedThe other day a reader commented the following on the article about respect in a relationship:

What I’ve realized is my problem has never been being a closer. Once in a position to close I close. I escalate. Period. It’s fun, it’s sexy, it’s adrenaline inducing! But until a woman starts showing signs of submitting to me or hinting that she likes me, I feel afraid. I feel like I might lose her if I do something stupid to make her upset. I feel like I can't communicate any of this fear to the woman because she will lose attraction for me. And so, it's a catch 22 because I know if I don't make a confident move, she won't do it first, and her attraction will eventually fade, yet if I make a move and she doesn't go for it (rejects me) I immediately will feel as if I like her more than she likes me. And I HATE with a PASSION for a woman to find out that I liked her more than she likes me. My logical mind says I shouldn't care and that I should just laugh it off and say "whatever", but my emotional mind doesn't agree yet.

...

Have you ever closed girls that showed no visual signs at all of liking to be in your presence? What was your mindset in dealing with them? How'd you handle these girls? Was there any difference (whether subtle or more substantial) than girls who showed more signs of wanting to be seduced? How'd you change their minds if they were on the fence by persisting? And did you notice after the fact that initially aloof girls were glad you persisted and showed your emotions first?

When you want to be liked... that's a curious thing.

In some ways, wanting to be liked is good and necessary to life as a human being:

  • It stops you from being a social retard
  • It prevents you from creating lots of enemies
  • It makes you a more appealing person people will do more to help

But, unchecked, a need to be liked can often be a very destructive thing.

Unchecked, it leads to hesitation, over-deliberation, and, very often, inaction.

It's not even about making your self-esteem dependent on other people or suffering from far too much anxiety. Those are what most advice dispensers hoist up as the reasons to not care too much about being liked... but they're mere child's play compared to the real reasons this mess you up.

Because if you spent too much time trying to be well-liked, you will miss out on the all best things life has to offer you.

3 Rules to Get Women to Respect You in a Relationship

Chase Amante's picture

respect in a relationshipIn "Dating Narcissistic and Egotistical Women," dehjomz asks the following about the decline of respect in a relationship:

The problem I've faced is that I've ended up liking certain girls a great deal, but they have turned out to be selfish, cold, domineering, and narcissistic. But they were not that way in the beginning! They were quite charming and submissive and appealing to my emotions...which is why I selected them in the first place.

But unfortunately I've consistently suffered from the 1-year drop. Their charm fades, they become comfortable, and and then the real selfish, arrogant, dramatic, neurotic sides come out. I'm pretty much the same guy all the time...until faced with disrespect. In the beginning they were much more influenced by my words and my power and complied with what I wanted. But after the 1-year drop, they become more dominant, more readily resistant to my power, and instead do whatever they wanted, whenever, without any regard to my emotions. Hence arguments. I've tried everything, and no amount of logic or trying to frame things as "we're a team" works or changes the situation. They just don't care and instead they try to justify their rude behavior instead of showing empathy toward me and understanding why their rude behavior makes me mad and why I cannot tolerate it. They want to get their way, and they could give a fuck less about what they say or do to try and get under my skin. Being calm and ignoring doesn't help because I'm left wondering how this woman could have the audacity to act this way, to me of all people?

 

My response was, while this can happen with narcissistic women, yes, it can also happen with any woman - even women untouched by narcissism.

This is not solely a problem with the woman. It's quite often a problem with the relationship.

That is to say, what often happens with men is a general, gradual decline of respect in that relationship, where women come to view a partner they originally saw as powerful, dominant, sexual, and strong, as possessing less and less of these qualities... and more and more of their (distinctly unappealing) opposites.

The relationship falls apart and fails because the woman has stopped respecting the man - even if he hasn't changed a bit.