Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

How to Avoid STDs Even If You Have Lots of Sex

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By: Chase Amante

avoid STDsRicardus touched on avoiding STDs a little in "Dodging the Dangers of Sex (and Dating)", though his focus there was more on some of the other dangers that can arise; and I have a post on the forums that covers a good chunk of what we'll talk about in this article here: "Re: The Dangers of Sex." However, I wanted to clean that information up and put it in a more presentable (and scannable) way - hence, this post.

When you're relatively inexperienced with women, it's easy to get freaked out about STDs. Typically, the more sexually experienced you get, the less of a "big deal" these seem like... and, generally, the more likely you are to run into them.

Yet, if you're smart, and you do your homework, it is possible to avoid STDs almost entirely, even while having lots of sex with lots of partners... BUT, you must do your homework, and you must be on top of the ball at all times, because if you're trusting your own sexual health will be looked out for by that pretty stranger you just met (after all, she seems so innocent...), you've got another thing coming.

3 Flavors of Sexy: Brooding, Smooth, and Talkative Vibes

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By: Chase Amante

In my travels, I've been fortunate to have met a number of different men with different personalities who've all found success with women their own unique ways. One of the patterns I've picked up on has been that each of these men's "vibes", if you will, fall into one of three rough categories:

  • Brooding / sad
  • Smooth / charming
  • Talkative / dynamic

No one of these vibes (or airs, or auras, or whatever term you like) is better than another, though each one appeals to different subsets of women. Some are more popular at different times of life - most of the teen male heartthrobs you'll see in books and movies are brooding, for instance, while the majority of mature (30+) male sex symbols hew more closely to the "smooth" way of doing things - but each can be used successfully at any point in a guy's life; there are plenty of talkative young guys who clean up with women, and I've seen my fair share of brooding older guys who do well with the vibe despite their lack of youth.

This article is broken down into three major sections: one on each of the 3 flavors of vibe. So read on, and find out which kind of sexual vibe is best suited to you - and, how you can learn to adapt each of these vibes for your own use, where needed.

2013: The Year in Review + 49 Top Posts

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By: Chase Amante

It's been a prolific year for writing on Girls Chase - we've seen 250 new articles hit the site this year, from 10 different contributors. If you're curious about individual tallies, we're at:

  • 2 articles by Eric Reeves on power dynamics

  • 2 articles by Ross Leon on getting in great shape and stopping judgment

  • 3 articles by J.J. Jones on getting investment and being attractive

  • 6 articles by Richard Weddel on cold reading and various other techniques

  • 7 articles by Cody Lyans on low-profile under-the-radar seductiveness

  • 12 articles by Alek Rolstad, on sexual frames, threesomes, and sex reports

  • 12 articles by Drexel Scott on NLP, frame-setting, and threesomes with girlfriends

  • 14 articles by Peter Fontes on social circle and various topics

  • 25 articles by Colt Williams on everything from sexting to entitlement to party sex

  • ... and 167 articles by me, Chase Amante, covering the full gamut of things we cover on this site (and a few topics we usually don't)

(links to each writer's list of articles when clicking on his name above)

2013 year in review

Since I don't want to appear biased in deciding, but also since I personally have 3x as many articles on here this year as everyone else combined, I've decided to split a "Best of 2013" list into two lists - 17 of the best articles by our other authors out of the 58 they've written, and 32 of the best articles out of the 167 I've put out. I tried to narrow it down more than this, but this is about as whittled down as I could get this list - descriptions for each article follow links, to help you choose what to read right now.

Unless you've read everything on here as it's come out, you're likely to find at least a couple of gems in here you haven't yet read - and even if you have, there are probably a few you'll have forgotten about, but will be happy to stumble across once more.

Here we go.

The Wrapping and the Present

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By: Chase Amante

wrapping vs. presentsOver the past month, 340Breeze, one of our members and commenters here, has made a couple of insightful comments and asked a few thoughtful questions about a subject that can be fairly boiled down to "the wrapping and the present".

His first comment was in the article on specialness (comment here).

And his second was in the piece on reversing poor precedent (comment here).

The first comment discussed his experiences meeting women who seemed outwardly impressive at first, but lacking in substance after he got to know them; in the second comment, he asked whether it was better for a woman interested in capturing a good man to focus more on playing coy and drawing things out with men (what I'd term "game" and "fundamentals", or style), or on becoming such all-around awesome people that they were simply naturally already in very high demand (who you really are as a person, friend, and mate - your substance).

In fact, this dichotomy - of fundamentals and game vs. who you are, style vs. substance, or the wrapping vs. the present - is one that underlies all of social dynamics, whether mating and dating, or choosing whom you want to be friends with, or hiring employees, bringing on consultants, or selecting the company you want to go work for.

The key here, and what everyone's trying to do, is to avoid being suckered by nice wrapping that isn't backed up by an equally impressive present underneath... but also not miss the great presents hiding under crummy wrapping paper.

Yet, that isn't so easy to do.

Should You Buy Gifts for a Girlfriend?

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By: Chase Amante

gifts for girlfriendWe're in the midst of the gift-giving season, and one of the big questions that comes up this time of year is both whether you ought to buy gifts for a girlfriend - and, if so, what kinds of gifts... and how many?

My phys ed teacher in high school, a guy named Mr. Myers, was known for dumping his girlfriends a few weeks before Christmas because he didn't want to buy them presents - all the boys thought this was hilarious and badass, and the girls thought it was despicable (but still flirted with him anyway). He was one of those assholes who wasn't completely magnetic, but he had this half-sleazy, half-charming way of grinning that told you he probably did all right with the fairer sex regardless.

When I was younger, and a bit more white knight-y, I thought this was just poor behavior of his; "If I had a girlfriend, I'd sure buy her Christmas presents!" I thought to myself.

But when I got a little bit older, and picked up a bit more actual life experience with women, I began to reconsider that position: was it possible that Mr. Myers had a point?

Might it be better to be Scrooge than Santa during the season of holiday cheer and good will toward men?

Reversing Poor Past Precedent with Girls You Like

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By: Chase Amante

reversing bad precedentAlex writes in with a question about a follow-up article to the one on precedent: “Dating and Relationship Precedent: Why It’s So Very Important.” Here's his email:

“Hi Chase and friends at girlschase.com

Your articles are amazing! I found Chase's article on precedent to be thought-provoking:

http://www.girlschase.com/
content/dating-and-relationship-precedent-why-it’s-so-very-important

I was wondering if you guys think writing a secondary article on how to recover after precedent has been set poorly would be a good follow-up idea.

For example: Say with this particular girl, I've moved too slowly with her, been overly helpful, white-knighted her, and acted overly insecure. As a result, I ended up losing her. But what if I want a second chance? Do you have any suggestions on bouncing back after setting poor precedent?

I know it would be best to move on, and I wish I knew about setting good precedent back when I was inexperienced, but sometimes I just want a second shot. I think it would be excellent to have an article on bouncing back after poor precedent, if possible.

Let me know if you guys think this would be a good suggestion!

Best,
Alex”

This is a sticky issue, and it's not one with an easy fix... not even a remotely easy fix. It's also a totally irrational problem to have, in the grand scheme of things, and it's one that's rooted firmly into a scarcity mentality of some sort or another - it may be that you don't feel you can ever meet another girl as amazing as this one (you lack absolute abundance), or it may be that you don't know if you're ever going to find another girl at ALL (just a complete lack of abundance mentality) - or, at the very least, you've just plunged so much time and emotional investment into this girl that your psyche won't let you let go.

The rational option is always, "Go out, forget about the girl you've dug yourself into a deep pit of despair with, get more skilled with women, upgrade your game and your fundamentals, and go date and sleep with 10 more women hotter, cooler, and more interesting than this one."

Yet, it's a question that comes up SO MUCH from guys, that it's probably worth addressing on its own: how do you change a girl's perception of you when it's already pretty low?

It will require you to move mountains and pull off feats that few men ever have, but if you're willing to give it your all, I may as well lay out the tools for you. So, by popular request...

What’s Great About Inexperienced Women (and What Isn’t)

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By: Chase Amante

content="Inexperienced women can be a joy to date, or a pain to – it depends on your perspective and objectives. Here’s how to approach them.">

inexperienced womenIf you're out and about routinely meeting new women, you'll notice that the women you meet, of course, have a broad range of different personality types and characteristics:

  • Some are bold

  • Some are shy

  • Some try to take charge clumsily

  • Some take charge deftly and naturally

  • Some will wait for eternity for you to take charge

  • Some seem excited to meet you

  • Some appear indifferent

  • Others are reserved, and you have no idea what they're thinking

What this article is centered on is describing the inexperienced women you'll meet - those inexperienced with men, with dating, with sex, and with relationships. What we'll be examining in this piece is how you can tell them from more experienced women; what the differences are when you're actually with them, interacting with them, setting up dates with them, sleeping with them, and having relationships with them; and what are the main pros and major cons of inexperienced vs. more experienced women.

Should be a fun read, and hopefully you'll learn a thing or two you might not have run into, noticed, or been made aware of just yet.

Can You Develop More Empathy? Science Suggests "Yes"

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By: Chase Amante

how to have empathyEmpathy is a twisty topic, and one that's often hung with mounds of cultural baggage. The politically correct party line at the moment is, "All empathy is good; all lack of empathy is bad, bad, BAD."

The truth of the matter is a bit more complicated than this (decidedly unempathetic) black-and-white thinking on empathy: strong empathy is a bit like a superpower and a crippling weakness, all rolled up into one.

In this article, we'll be looking at the full range of empathy profiles - from sociopaths, supposedly unable to feel empathy at all, to empaths, those souls so bursting with empathy that stepping on a bug makes them feel awful.

And what I most want to talk about in today's article is striking the right balance - enough empathy that you are able to perceptively know what other people are thinking, what they are feeling, and what they want, but not so much that you render yourself unable to take any action, out of fear of hurting, offending, or invoking the displeasure of someone else.

How to Be Street Smart & Handle Life-Threatening Situations

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By: Chase Amante

street smartsStreet smarts are something that are invaluable to know, but that you won't know if you haven't grown up in areas that expose you to dangerous or dicey situations. You won't learn street smarts in the halls of a private high school or the sidewalks of an affluent middle class suburb. Instead, you learn them in the run-down, poor, impoverished areas where people keep an eye out for anyone who doesn't belong, just like you do in your neighborhood - only, instead of steering clear of people who don't fit the norm, like you may well, they come over to take a sniff or maybe a little bite.

Each of us has a different level of "protect" and "get" interests in other people. For example, if you see a big, scary-looking man, you probably feel nothing but "protect" instincts - there's nothing you can get from him, but he is a real threat to you... so you protect yourself, and stay away. If you're a single guy walking down the street and you see a beautiful woman, your "get" instincts kick in hard - you probably go want to meet her. Likely, you have some "protect" filter still up - if she looks completely cold or uninterested, you won't approach, because you probably won't get much from her, and you might not be able to protect yourself from rejection and losing face socially.

In less safe places, the people you meet have lower "protect" mechanisms toward you (you're less of a threat than the people they usually encounter) and higher "get" mechanisms (you're an easier mark than the people they usually see)... which means you're a lot more likely to get approached by someone you don't want to meet, for something you don't want to have happen.

Street smarts are really about raising people's "protect" shields and lowering their "get" meters around you, the same as that cold, aloof beauty walking down the street does with men who might otherwise be inclined to approach her - if only she seemed a bit more inviting.

Dating and Relationship Precedent: Why It’s So Very Important

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By: Chase Amante

relationship precedentPoorly-set precedent: it's the scourge of relationships across the face of mankind. Every day, the whole of the male sex collectively writhes in agony at its own terribly-set precedent coming back to haunt it - and bit it right in the ass. Bad precedent is the unadulterated cause of:

  • Ending up the platonic, sexless orbiter trapped in a girl's friend zone

  • Becoming viewed as a promising boyfriend candidate instead of a lover

  • Finding yourself in a relationship where you're doing all of the work

  • Being endlessly browbeaten by an overly dramatic girlfriend

  • Losing a woman's respect and attraction in any kind of relationship

Some time back, I posted the article about operant conditioning here, and how this kind of relationship training and management is used for guiding and directing your relationships in the directions you want them to go.

We also discussed briefly in that article how incorrect use of operant conditioning actually reinforces and encourages bad behavior that is destructive to the relationship and harmful to both the man's and the woman’s levels of happiness and contentedness within it.

An understanding of operant conditioning - basically, that how you respond to good, bad, and neutral behavior from someone who's a part of your life influences how likely you are to see that behavior again, and how often, and how much it escalates - is necessary for an understanding of precedent: that what came before influences what is to come again.

And you will find that in your relationships, if you are perceptive enough, you can all but tell the future, simply by putting a microscope over the past - your past, your girlfriends' pasts, and the pasts you've shared together.

You can also determine the future, by building the kind of past precedent necessary to have the kind of future relationship you want, all by doing the right things now.

Yet, you'll find most people are not willing to do this, because a little more pain now for a lot more happiness later is a bargain 99% of people are unwilling to make.