Men Style

Recently I wrote an article called “How to Juggle Women, Projects, Habits, Career, and More” where we discussed the strategy of using “projects” to improve different areas of our lives.

That article looked at our lives from a macro level, but the fascinating thing about this approach is that we can apply it to specific areas of our life too. For example, appearance (the article “How to Juggle Women, Projects, Habits, Career, and More” should be your first prerequisite read for context on this piece.).

If you’ve been following my articles, you probably know that for the last six or so months I’ve been focusing heavily on improving my own appearance with the goal of seeing how much one can improve his looks during such a short time given enough focus on effort BUT still while living a normal life (which of course means going out, meeting women, and an occasional drunken debauch).

During this time I focused on the following:

• Movements and posture

• Physique

• Skin care

• Grooming

• Style

And even though I haven’t managed to reach my goal just yet (to become, on average, a 9+ in terms of appearance, which of course is a very lofty goal) the strides in the right direction were significant enough that I feel I can consider it a success and share it with you.

But before we begin…

When I was seventeen I overdosed on cocaine. I weighed 107 pounds and was 5'9" - needless to say, I was skinny. It's been eight years since that event and I now weigh 165 pounds and am around 7-8% body fat. I have been asked to be a fitness model and to competitively powerlift. My journey from being a skinny kid to a muscular bro was motivated almost entirely by my goal of bedding more women.

And although putting on a lot of muscle didn't give me the results I had fantasized about, the journey helped transform my character and turned me into a guy who does in fact bed a lot of women. I'm writing this post because there are a lot of misconceptions about how being muscular helps you with women, so here is the truth about how being muscular will help you get laid.

How important is hair to attraction?

I didn’t pay it much mind the first few years I was out chatting up girls. I got my $12 Supercuts haircut, threw on some threadbare button-down shirts I still had from high school that were two sizes too large for me, a pair of basic jeans, and some chunky white sneakers or square-toed loafers.

And then I’d go out and talk to girls.

I got okay results. I’d get dates sometimes, and sometimes I’d sleep with a girl. Some girls really liked me. Because of this, I assumed these other things did not matter.

Later I realized I was handicapping myself though, and once I started experimenting a lot more with clothes and hair, I got better results.

How much better? It’s hard to say. Fashion and hair improved for me at the same time a bunch of other things did, which makes it tough apportioning out credit.

However, whether the difference it makes to your fundamentals is a 5% improvement or 15% one, this is a fairly straightforward 5% or 15% you can add to your attractiveness portfolio, and it’s one you shouldn’t miss.

Learning how to present yourself to look attractive, sexy, and desirable to women is a two-step process: first, you learn what you should do, with some basic and advanced strategies that help you get the most out of what you were naturally born with; second – and just as importantly – you learn what NOT to do; the common mistakes that are holding you back along with so many other men.

So far on Girls Chase we have a lot of great stuff that help with the first part of this equation:

• How To Get Started Improving Your Looks

• The Grooming Guide: Skin care, Manscaping, Choosing And Styling Your Hairstyle and Facial Hair

• Getting Six Pack Abs

• The Primer On Men’s Style

• Several off-the-shelf looks to get you going

And more…

With this article, I’d like to talk about the second part: the mistakes that even the best of us sometime make when it comes to presenting ourselves and looking attractive; the ones that are holding us back on our quests to become truly sexy men.

But before we delve deeper, let’s make a quick stop and talk about…

There are many articles on the internet about how to get a haircut that suits you. Well that’s great for people with hair, but I know from personal experience that there are a lot of balding men out there and there are almost no articles out there on how to look good bald... and pull off the sexy and bald look.

I decided to write this because I know how it feels to start losing your hair. Earlier this year I started shaving my head completely bald and I’m pulling more girls bald than I ever did with hair. This guide will enumerate the three must do’s to capitalize on your lack of hair situation and turn it into a strength.

But first we have to talk about a decision you need to make.

It’s that time of the year again – the sun is starting to shine brighter, the weather is getting comfortably warm, and the skirts on our beautiful ladies are getting shorter to the point where it’s very easy to lose your focu... wait, what was I saying...

But maybe that’s not what pops into your mind when I say that summer is here. Maybe instead you imagine scorching sun, sweating as if you were in a sauna, and uncomfortable, sticky clothes.

As discussed in “Summer Fashion For Men: Your A to Z Guide to Looking Sexy in Summertime”, summer brings a quite distinct set of perks and challenges when it comes to dressing sexy and presenting ourselves in the most attractive light.

From one side, we can finally show off our physiques that we’ve been working on during the winter-time, and thin fabrics are really great at putting sex into her mind just by looking at you; on the other hand, most summer-friendly clothes are quite hideous and make us look boyish instead of sexy. I’m looking at you, shorts.

For this reason I originally prepared the A to Z Guide to Looking Sexy in Summer-time, to help you make the most of the benefits that come with this time of year and to work around the drawbacks as much as possible.

With this article I’d like to dig into the specifics and offer you concrete outfits you can use during summer and look very sexy, something we did with “6 Outfits That Will Help You Look Sexy” (if where you live the weather is far from getting warm, this is the article to check).

A girl once said the following about me to a mutual friend:

“You know, the best things about Darius are his deep cuts and his charisma.”

I must say, I was a little surprised. Not about the deep cuts part – since college I was known to wear buttoned shirts with an extra open button and I’ve always preferred V-necks over crew necks on tees.

Quick off topic tip: It works and it’s hot. If you’re of shorter stature be careful though, as it might mess up your upper body proportions and visually make you look shorter.

The part that I was surprised about was that she called me charismatic. You see, I’ve never been the talkative, outgoing, life of a party kind of guy, and back when it was said it was even more obvious than it is now.

Nonetheless, in her eyes I was charismatic.

What’s interesting is that after that conversation I did indeed start working, at first indirectly, on further developing this quality – though “quality” might not be the best word to describe charisma. As you’ll see in this article, it would be more appropriate to call it a skill than a quality of your character.

As I got better at managing charisma, interesting things started to happen:

• I would relatively easily find new groups and friends during my nights out (it’s not uncommon by the end of the night to realize that the group I’m currently having fun with, who are inviting me to after parties and the like, consist only of people I don’t really know)

• Guys often will buy me shots and ask to drink with them (happens less frequently with women, but that’s expected)

• And people in general seem eager to open up and share their stories.

For example, last time I was out, after ordering my drink, an unknown guy walked up and asked me to join his company of four ladies on the dance floor.

I’m sure I don’t need to explain that, not only does this makes nights out more pleasurable in general and puts you in a very positive state of mind, it also makes the subsequent steps of seduction easier (but don’t be fooled, you still need to make things happen).

With this introduction I first would like to refer you to another article, written by Ricardus, The 3 Things to Know If You Want to Be Charismatic, in which he brilliantly covers the core parts of what makes a man charismatic and how to be one.

I would like to urge you to read that piece first and then come back here, as in my article I would like to focus more on the specifics and strategies you can employ to develop your charisma and do this, even if you’re not a particularly outgoing guy.