Why I Don’t Tell Women to “Step It Up”

Yup, ive definitely been guilty of this. Sometimes it's just so fucking hard letting go of that bitterness and justice mindset that you've carried with you for so long. But what you said it's true: trying to tell women what to do is mostly a futile exercise. Changing your mindset about women is tantamount to changing your views on religion: It's very psychologically stressing. Nevertheless, I want to thank you for allowing us to see the light. I know you bust your ass writing these articles and you seem like you genuinely care about helping men become the strongest version of themselves. Thank you.

This one is an endlessly thought-provoking piece from your table,Chase. It's pure gold...but only for those who understand pure gold's worth.

Naturally,as humans,we are wired to preach and fight for the continuity of those ideas which fit perfectly into our experiences. It's all about survival and a worthless fight to establish our status over others.

If we consider it from the above context,then it becomes quite clear why different gender-based fighters take the stance they do: to establish their belief system and possibly perpetuate it for all eternity. Majority of them strongly hold on to the very sad idea that unless others accept their ideas,their hope for genuine happiness is forever dashed into oblivion. A very harmful mentality.

Let me quote one of Shakespear's; "There's nothing right or wrong,but thinking makes it so". This statement,when meticulously x-rayed with an open and unbiased mind,reveals the genius in it. I hope you think so too. In fact,right this moment I feel guilty of trying to sell this idea as the "right" one to you reading this. Lol. Be that as it may,the futility in endlessly trying to prove ourselves as right or wrong steals the shine away from our lives and robs us of the time we should instead have spent living and enjoying life while we live. *Damn,I'm starting to sound like some devout preacher*. Lol. Time to knock it off.

Finally,I strongly believe (My personal opinion of course) that we can never be truly happy until we ratchet up our emotional intelligence to some decent level. We may be smarter than aliens,but if we are not emotionally intelligent,our smartness amounts to balderdash,dross,zilch,nada,poppycock!
Interestingly,part of our being emotionally intelligent is in this,that we are flexible in our thinking and understand that people are different and are always going to have their differing opinions no matter the weather,year,age or civilization.
This world is not ours,we take it not with us after death.

Wow Chase, this kind of articles are the reason why I can't help but respect you, A LOT!

By the way, after reading the part "...and is also super hot and cooks awesome meals and never wants to sleep with any man but you and you don’t have to do anything to get her and keep her except to..." I wondered what was coming! The moment I read "JUST BE YOURSELF", lol, you made my day! :D

Also, I guess of all the 630+ articles (is that correct?) in this site, this is the first time EVER that you used larger font in the article body in a sentence: "If she sucks, she just sucks. Don’t date her", which explains HOW MUCH IMPORTANT the "Don’t date her" part is!

Loved how you put the term 'mercilessly' in "...and then screen mercilessly for women who are themselves everything they can be for your partners."!

Hmm....'mercilessly', gotta keep that in mind!

- Kevin

Very good read.

Hey Chase, there is one thing I would really like to clear my mind of and that is how to dance sexy. I did a little research on dancing and it seems women look at the neck, torso, and....the right knee? The left knee shows negative effect and the arms little to no effect on the dance. I looked at a scientific "good dance" and yea he twists the parts and takes space and shows a variety of different dances but, is that really "sexy" or is it just entertaining? I mean the dance looks ridiculous to the point where I don't think women find it sexy but just entertaining to watch so they gave it high ratings.

Thank you for making this site and sharing with us. I found it around christmas and have been slowly digesting it since then.

"You’re either going to be excited by this material (because you suspected what the mainstream fed you didn’t work, and now you’ve got a method at your fingertips that does)."

That was me. I really had no clue what I was looking for(or that i was looking) until I found this and started to make things work. My instincts had always been right, but I didn't trust them because I was being told something else by everyone around(except for the bitter and cynical people and their addiction to their pain/hate/fear rendered their advice a different trap in itself).

These days I continually try to test out the advice you have given here and find that some things i can do, some I can't and some are of no interest to me(at least now). When I am tired I still revert to my old patterns of behavior, but after a good nights sleep I reflect on what happened and try again.

So thank you for verbalizing and sharing these tools with us. I suspect that if it wasn't for this I would eventually have become a bitter man(the dissonance was really tearing at me) instead of falling more and more in love with life and the beauty of this world.

P.Paz

There are always various problems in my life that I need to get solved - that's why I keep coming back here! I'm sure I'll make it to awesomeness soon.

Also, I totally got the "PAIN" tattoo reference from your ebook - very funny.

The M

...I can assure you: We have to work on ourselves, lazy men just are the way they are.
Of course Chase is right, like he often is): all we can do, is to work on ourselves so we can attract better partners.

I belong to the small female minority, btw, who is *very* disappoined that you won't write a blog post intended primarily for women.

XOXO Atra

i have noticed this a lot recently when I am making strong eye cotnact and the tension is getting real heated and heavy she will try to break it by saying what? at that point i dont know how to respond to that I typically just smile and say "nothing" and i feel like im messing up here. i have never thought of myself as real lovey dovey and it is hard for me to bust out lines like "You are the most beautiful girl i have ever laid eyes on" but there has to be a better response to "what"

I have been reading and Learnin from you for a while now and starting to learn to lead women in interactions,i am curious how to respond to this. a reply would be amazing thanks in advance.

Hey Chase,
I've been reading your blog for quite some time now, maybe a year, and it has taught me quite a lot. Not only in terms of seduction and pick-up advice, I've taken a few major and minor life philosophies from you and your team. Sorry, not returning them - sue me.
Throughout all this time a question has popped numerous times in me, but I've never even come close to getting an answer for it - how much of this applies to high-school students. I can remember reading somewhere sometime that doing cold approaches at this age could be harmful for the future, but I really want to read your opinion on it. Another aspect of the question is what's going on in girls' heads at this age, because I feel like the things I am reading here and the things I am experiencing have little to nothing in common. Now, I know that you haven't been to high school in a while, but any insights from you or another writer would be appreciated.
Another question, much simpler - what do you think of the guys from Real Social Dynamics (http://www.rsdnation.com) and of Black Dragon? (http://www.blackdragonblog.com)

Thank you in advance!
Best regards,
Bob

Hey Dave, I think it would be interesting to have an article on being elite fathers who raise successful children. I read in a comment that chase has been studying child rearing for a long time and that would be an interesting read. I am a young single father about to graduate college so I will definitely appreciate that.

Hey Chase.

It is me Robert, from whom you quoted the text in the beginning from. A very intriquing post as well, with the answer I can really relate to. THANK YOU, you really are a different kind of person. You actually did what I asked and pondered it and wrote an answer that shows and persuades one to your side.

It is truly mentally refreshing to hear the truth: there is no real right or wrong, just what you choose is right and wrong for you. One who is a terrorist to one faction, is a hero to another. An universal truth. What you said as well about that this site is geared for men who wish to seek knowledge in the art of dealing with women, is very interesting. Basically it is that you choose your side, devote yourself and stick to it? Am I correct?
But isn't this just a little bit contradictory to your post of multiple standpoints? If you understand someone, you are inclined to believe in their cause as well. Or do you mean that one does need to understand other points of view to better his/hers own performance? I can really see a lot viewpoints, which sometimes renders me incapable of actually helping myself against them. How can I get over this? Maybe the upbringing I received when I was young was so morally strong, that it just renders me incapable to just think of my and my side's wellbeing. A very moral problem, which I know find interesting.

Yours truly
Robert

P:S: You are a clever guy, I respect that a lot

Hi Chase, I don't if this will make you angry because you said you don't like to advise women, but I feel I might fall into the boring nice girl with low partner count but I don't want to lose a man I have in a relationship. I am sure you have been in relationships with girls with higher partner counts, who as you say make men feel loved, desired and sexy. What do they do differently from women who are their opposites, and how can I make men feel as those with girls with higher partner counts do? I want to improve just as much as the men on this site do, please help me.
Thnxs :)

I find it funny that no one in the seduction community including this site ever talks about prostitutes like its some form of doping or something. I would love to see an article on this as i know of guys who are prolific with girls and frequent brothels

Hey Chase, I think you should make an article on having sex with girls while you're at the club or bar. Like how do you warm them up enough to get them to a location to sleep with them that night. Where I go now, I have people who stand out side and guard the bathrooms, so I can't pull it off.

What if you're pulling night time street game and want same night sex? How do you pull that girl?

I feel you should show us how to get a girl to agree with us to come to the bathroom or a car or whatever to have sex. How do I bring girls into the bathroom if their are bouncers by them and inside the bathrooms their are those doorman that give you soap and offer mints. How do I get a girl into the bathroom like that? Thanks

I've had a few tonight and felt compelled to throw my 2 cents in.

You can't TELL a girl to step it up and expect a long lasting response. She'll resent you eventually for asking her to be something she's not feeling.

A girl WILL step it up and keep it up in response to your own awesomeness. She'll do it on her own volition because she feels you're worth the extra effort.

I just had an idea, why not for the small minority of the women readers on this site who actually want to improve to be directed on other sites made specifically and effectively for them?

This is the manifesto for the "I don't care what women think I just want to get laid" school of thought. It's low-level thinking. Cynical detachment is certainly the path of least resistance. It's a French mentality: as long as I get my rocks off and drink my bottle of wine or three after dinner, what do I care if Paris is overrun by the Prussian Army.

It's easy, yes, but it's ultimately not instructive for anyone. No, you can't change anyone, but it's a bit ironic that you make a living giving advice to men about women but won't deign to do the same for women. Why, then, should any man heed your words if you know so little about women?

Frankly, my entire dating life hinges on the very notion of women needing to step it up. Every girl I've ever passed on hasn't measured up in some regard. I judge women just as harshly as they judge me. Honestly, if you're not in the habit of making value judgments on women's behavior, that tells me you have low status with women and you take what you can get.