
In this post, I'd like to share with you a cautionary tale. I'd like to tell you the story of a man named Shopping Guy.
Shopping Guy isn't really his name. His family and his friends call him something else, no doubt; something closer to an actual name and less of a label. But I know him only as Shopping Guy.
Comments
Poor shopping guy
Smashing article Chase, very beneficial and it makes me cringe too ha.
I've seen other guys do this too unfortunately; and I almost fell into this trap on my vacation. I approached this girl on the bus, she was very receptive. Anyway I get her # and we go to the mall together.We talk and I came along with her shopping for clothes. I was with her for at least 30 minutes not holding any bags though ha. I was trying to get her back to my hotel, I was very direct about what I wanted, trying to move fast. I told I wanted to show her my Oklahoma clothing =). I was tempting her she said, but my seduction failed *sigh*. She wanted me to help her find 1 clothing that she could buy. I'm not really helping her, I was just grabbing clothes I thought that would look good on her. Putting clothes up against her and grabbing her etc. It's 30 minutes of being with her; and I'm thinking why am I here with this girl!? I haven't taken her to bed, i'm not her lover, and definitely not her friend. So I gave her hug and tried to kiss her on the lips. But she turned her face, and I parted ways with her. Next day I set up date her with her, she agreed. But later she flaked on me. Overall it was a positive learning experience. Anyway thank you for the pimp article =j. In not becoming tamed ,and acquiring a new nickname by shopping girl ha.
Re: Poor shopping guy
Nice job fighting against the "shopping buddy" category, Lau'Ren'Tay. When you're learning, outings like these can help teach you how to manage situations like this where you're out with a girl in a less-than-desirable set up for you, so they can be valuable from that aspect, so long as you're trying stuff and pushing your boundaries and learning -- which is exactly what it sounds like you did.
Chase
Man, you are super great.
Man, you are super great. There have been number of pages I have visited to find sth useful,but this is the first one I can relate to.Thx. I started reading your page at 11pm (PST) and look at the time now it is 3:00 Am ...Good job.
Well Put
While I admit that I've never gone as far as the poor shopping guy, it truly is absolutely cringing to read. One girl I used to be "shopping guy" (to a lesser extent) around always said, "better to be cruel than to be kind". You sir heeded this same train of thought while writing the article. Yes, it sucks to know you've come off as a sap, but realizing how needy and big of a pushover you've become in her mind is the only way to move on!
Incredible material as always
Like always your article are full of insight. question: when you are in a committed relationship, is it still ok for you to let her hang out with guy friends or/and the shopping guys. It's a concern when it comes to possible infidelity. I read your excellent article of 'how to prevent cheating by your girlfriend". I understood and the article makes sense. I am on top of my game when it comes to this. However, keeping all ends covered is how I play the game. should a man in a relationship let his girl be with guy friends have lunches together and other things (let her based on the whole 'trust' thing) or should you tell her not to hang out with her guy friends? Ps: I do know it is well known in society that after you are in a relationship men should hang out with other men, and girls should hang out with her girlfriends.
In much needed help when it comes to this,
Sincerely
YourFan
sorry, but this IS selfish and manipulative.
I asked her quite recently why she wants one of these guys as a friend in the first place. Her response:
"Because it's nice that he listens to me and I know he can help me and I hope that maybe one day if I need it he can do me a big favor."
She isn't being selfish or manipulative. She really is a sweet girl.
If a man did this to a woman (roles reversed), he'd be crucified!
Bingo
Bingo
Minefield
Out of curiosity, how do you politely decline to hold her bag? To me, this looks like a minefield situation. On one side, I dont't want to be shopping guy; on the other, I don't want to look/sound like a jerk or an asshole
If by "bag" you mean her
If by "bag" you mean her purse then some witty reply should do like Chase said. Or just said in a tone like "you're kidding me right". As a guy I would never carry some woman's purse. If she gets mad just turn the tables and ask her if you're supppsed to do everything while she does nothing. Like you could say does this mean I shouldn't ask you to do anything for me. If it's a bag but not her purse and if it's heavy then it's your choice but even carrying that may not necessarily get you out the friend zone. You still have to get her investing to know she wants to be more than friends.
I mean either. Also, by "her"
I mean either. Also, by "her" I don't mean a woman I'm trying to bed, but a woman I'm already friend with. Think about the girlfriend or the wife of a friend. Witty replies are not my ground, I'm too direct and brutal for those, unfortunately
Shopping guy
When I was younger I knew some women that I would do things for just to be with them, I adored them so much. I knew I'd never get close to them.
But to say shopping guy is getting nothing is just not true. If you love someone it feels good just to see them and be with them. I think in some cases it's better than nothing.
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