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Good day, gentlemen. Today, I’m here to tell you about something profoundly simple yet tortuously difficult for some. Let me ask you something… what if I told you there’s one particular word in the English language that will get you more of what you want than entire essays of other words?
That with this one magical word, you can assert your boundaries, display your standards, and become a stronger man all at the same time?
You would probably think that I’m crazy… and most likely also want to know more! First I will tell you the word, and then we will delve into its dynamics.
The Magic Word is…
NO.
Comments
boom!
Ratatatatatatatata!
Guns blazing good!!!
wow, this is exactly what i came here for today
cant believe it, i actually came to the site today because i'm getting fucking sick of meeting and making friends with and working with nothing but drug abusing criminals, crazy people that consistently make bad decisions and just generally assholes (men and women), and right there on the top of the page was this article. i have such trouble saying 'no' that it is even known amonst my 'friends' that i can't say no. i definitely get taken advantage of because of this and constantly find myself in situations where i wonder how the fuck i ended up there in the first place. this was a great read that i feel i really needed to hear and im looking forward to experiencing and learning from it. Thanks my friend.
Refreshing Perspective on Something Simple
Drexel,
I enjoyed this read. It was a refreshing way of looking at something that many people fail to notice in their own lives, and it gives some great perspective on it.
Good stuff! I look forward to more. =)
- Franco
Great inspirational article
Hey Drexel,
Truly magnificent stuff here, especially the part outside of seduction - you've nailed it! I've already started working on being assertive and NO Man - that's a great motivator to stay on this particular track.
BTW, reading this also helped to realize that I can couple my current step in development with framing to make it even better and more fun. Thanks for that too!
Looking for more of the goods :)
Take care,
Jaimie
Great stuff indeed, Drexel! I
Great stuff indeed, Drexel!
I see you have a fairly good point there - the problem is, I don't know what the boundaries of what's acceptable and what isn't. I'm gonna illustrate that for you:
I'm a naturally defiant person and I tended to say "no" to, say, my parents from my childhood to my 20s. Generally I'm like "we're gonna do this my way or I'm not going to do this shit", but I feel this didn't give the power you're saying here. In fact, I think I make people less willing to "vote" for me as a leader if they had to.
This past weekend I had some work to do with a coworker of mine. We were supposed to do a fairly manual task, but my laptop got fucked up on Friday and sent her a text saying that I wouldn't be able to help her because of this.
She was kinda busy at the time and then proceeded to practically ignore me and didn't say anything until 2am on Monday, when I was about to go to bed. She texts:
"Hey, how is [the task] going? :)"
I almost told her to fuck off. But I said, "well [what you need to finish the task], it's in your email. I told you two days ago that I wouldn't be able to help you and you practically ignored. And now you're texting me 2am like I didn't even warn you."
That shocked her real good. But then she proceed to whine and say that "everything is always on her back" and "she didn't have the time" and "it was also my responsibility." And while I could keep my frame, I backed down because I know I'd need her in a very big project I'm eager to participate next semester, and I need her and the rest of the team to be OK with me taking the lead of that project. I reckoned that keeping my frame wouldn't help me achieve that objective (I might be wrong though), which is somehow contrary to what you're saying if I got everything right.
How's that?
PS: It's not that I'm not comfortable doing it - but I certainly could stretch my comfort zone and I'm planning to do that from now on - but I think it might make people not like me on cases like this.
So simple, so fantastic.
One of the most helpful and down to earth article i've seen in a while, will definitely be giving this one a shot tomorrow... gonna love the look on people's faces 'HOW ABOUT NO!'
-Franz
Isn't there an article on
Isn't there an article on this site about not using the particular word "no"?
Yes there is. Title something
Yes there is. Title something like: Never say no to a girl.
And I am also confused.
Well what I take away from it
Well what I take away from it is that you should say no just not by using the word "no". But if you do use it maybe use it in a "are you serious" kinda tone with a flirty laugh thrown in there.
RE: Isn't there an article on
Yes, there IS an article on not saying no. It is here:
Tactics Tuesdays: Never Say "No" to a Girl - Do This Instead
However, note at the bottom of the article it is stated that there is an exception to the rule.
If the girl is overly demanding / the situation warrants it, then it is okay to say "no" (and mean it too).
J.J.
Day after reading it...
I guess it's more about assertiveness and leading. In this case never letting people push through some of your boundaries. By rejecting to let them into your car you demonstrated that you are not easily getting into deals that are not useful to you so you're far more promising prospect for negotiations or other upper social echelon stuff than those who are ordinary workers.
In that article Chase talked more on rejecting politely without saying "no", but in situations where people use social shaming or are too insistent "no" is mandatory, so those articles are not really in conflict.
You ask "What are you afraid will happen if you displease other people?"
I guess in reality by saying "no" you will only displease people who want you to be their little slave, so if you reject them it will be far more better to you in long term. Because you will only have people who accept you left around you.
Amazing piece, day after reading it I was failing at some simple things I shouldn't have failed, but still I would call it the most amazing day of my life, because I tried being assertive at some moments and it did pay off.
Excellent article
This is somewhat familiar ground for people who have been in seduction a while, yet the way you explained it is crystal clear, really cuts to the heart of the matter, and is just "intuitively true" because of the way you've presented it. I'm really impressed.
Perfect!
Hey Drexel—
Thank you for this article—it explains exactly what's wrong with me. I know I need to implement this in my life right away.
I think a real man has to be ready to lose everything at any moment and be prepared to survive no matter the consequences.
Also, I wanted to tell you that I'm about half way through the King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover, and it is blowing my mind in such an amazing way—it explains so much of the wrong I feel insofar as situations I find myself in both professionally, socially, and sexually. Sadly, I have to admit that my own maturity level is also rather poor, but at least I now have some strategies for growing up—strategies other than caving to social pressure, that is.
Thanks man, for that list!
Best always,
-M
Very true
Im a very nice guy but I know how to say no. But my sons don't I tried teaching them this but they seem to use it at akward times but my daugter is 7 and killing it a lot of her friends even brothers are eating out of her palm hahaha..
Yeah thank you for the post it's another great and a refresher.
Regards
Anselem
Hey Drexel,
Hey Drexel,
If I could, I want to share a personal story here, there was this little blonde woman who was about 4 foot nothing, hell I used to tease her all the time by calling her midget. She kinds reminded me of an adult version of Bubbles (from the ppgs) Lol She was also a cancer crab who make the perfect girls to marry. I had a mad crush on her from the day I met her.
So one day I invited her over my house to hangout and smoke, she said she'd come, but asked if she could bring her guy friend with her. Thinking nothing of it at the time, I said sure why not. (Mistake #1) Do I picked them both up from Norristown, drove back to place in Philly, and on the way there, we were talking getting to know each other better, and connecting, and we chilled outback, smoked some Mary Jane together. Then she
asked if her and her guy friend could go upstairs to the bathroom together, instead of growing a pair and saying hell nooooooo!!!!!, I said sure that's fine. (Mistake #2) I tried impressinbgg her by plating guitar, which i guess at that point, was completely futile. Lol Long story short, I ended up driving them back. At least I got $10 for gas from the totally beta smuck as friend.
From that point on forward, I would try to get her to go out with me places, but she would always make up excuse after excuse and eventually blocked me on Facebook. So I spent a full fucking year brooding over this, and wondering where the fuck I went wrong with girl, until I read this article, and BAM! it hit me, the girl was testing me the whole damn time, she was testing my testicular fortitude, and I failed miserably! Knowing that, if I could get my hands on a damn time machine, and fix this costly mistake, me and this beautiful cancer crab would've been totally dating today! But I know how to handle them cute little crabs now, thanks to you bro! :) and now, I'm gonna find me one, and she's gonna love the new Scotty Boy! Oh it's true, its damn true!
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