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I wasn’t always
a fan of anal sex.
Used to be that when girls asked me for it, my erection would disappear and I’d lose all interest in sex of any sort after that. I mean, gross. And in any event, her pussy’s right there; why would I want to stick it in her butt?
As I got older, I became less of a stick in the mud and decided to
give anal more of a chance. Eventually, I discovered that, done right, women
absolutely loved it, and soon I enjoyed it a fair
bit too.
The fear for her, that comes with accepting you into the wrong hole... the thrill she feels at doing something taboo... and the pure pleasure that comes with an opening packed to the brim with nerve endings swallowing up your manhood into it, its sanctity at the mercy of it... all these things contribute to the emotional and physical excitement of it for her.
And, if you’re executing anal sex technically correct, with an aim towards supplying anal orgasms, your member will be hitting her vagina from the other side, a truly intense and orgasmic experience.
As a man, there’s the sense that you’re dominating this woman in a way you’re not ‘supposed’ to do, and the sense that she is yielding her body to you in a way she hasn’t to too many (or perhaps any) other men. These things enhance the experience for her as well.
However, this article isn’t here to discuss the merits of anal sex (though I will cover that briefly towards the end) – I’m not here to ‘convert’ anybody.
If you’re reading this, I assume you’d like to know how to do it well, and not that you are recoiling at how gross it is (like I, well, used to).
So... let’s talk about giving her thunderous orgasms, through her back door.
DISCLAIMER: I did really try
to find some non-NC17 images for communicating the ‘position’ part to
you below, but found it next to impossible to locate any images showing
the position I wanted to show at all,
let alone any PG-13 ones. So, there are a couple of NSFW images near
the end of this post – you have been forewarned. Don’t read at the
cubicle, or
on the bench in the park by the local kindergarten.
Comments
Painal
Can you penetrate the anus as fast as you'd like or do you have to go a little slower than vaginal?
Painal
At first no, you can't. Take it slow at first - and give her time to relax. When her muscle is relaxed (and you will know/feel when it is) you can increase the pace.
The more relaxed her ass is, the harder/faster you can go. And believe me - when it is totally relaxed you can fuck her ass like a pussy. But give it time.
NOTE: you will not always manage to reach that point of relaxation - especially not with an anal beginner. In such case, be light with her the first time you have anal sex.
If you see pain in her eyes, take a short break or light things up. If she is enjoying it, just ram it. Calibrate according to her reaction - much like with seduction in general. You do not want to cause her unnecessary pain.
Alek
Additional stuff
Lots of great info's there. I have actually tried these positions with great success without really knowing these were orgasm triggers.
Also here are some additional tips:
- If you are both freshmen when it comes to anal, try using an anesthetic cream to appease the pain - you can buy those in most sex shops. It is primarily your cock penetrating her tight sphincter that causes her pain, not your cock stimulating her rectum. If you can appease her pain, then she can focus more on what feels good to her - your cock stimulating the deep spot (which is the spot in her vagina that walls with her rectum - which can also be stimulated from her vagina, usually through vaginal doggy style).
- When penetrating her anus as in inserting your cock into her a-hole, ask her to "push out" like if she were to poop. This will relax the sphincter and ease up the process. Cross your fingers that she doesn't actually have to poop, and if she does, you shouldn't anal bang her in the first place.
- Another trick to appease her sphincter is to put some lubes on your fingers and stimulate her anus - gently and softly. Her anus will automatically relax. Keep doing this until your fingers "naturally" enter her vagina. Just push your fingers gently onto her anus until they automatically enter her anus - which they will do if you stimulate/massage her anus long enough. If you are dirty enough, start out with your tongue (make sure she had a shower - and take a vodka shot once you are done to clean your mouth, lol).
- Water based lubes sucks - the anus absorbs water like a swamp. Your water based lube will disappear in a matter of minutes. Go for Silicon based. And no it is not dangerous and fits well with condoms. If you go for water based us a VERY HIGH QUALITY one, like Astroglide (I know many in the porn industry uses it as well).
- Don't ram her ass right away - give it time to relax. Meanwhile just do small moves, in and out. However feel free to do hard moves - just do not slip your cock in and out as of yet.
- Use of vibrator is key. Stimulate her clit while fucking her ass. I know you didn't particularly like doggy style, but anal doggy style while stimulating her clit can her lead to intense orgasm (multiple orgasms at the same time)
My 5 cents. Thanks again!
Alek
Additional Tips
Awesome tips, Alek!
That's a great piece of advice on oil-based vs. water-based... I've noticed previously how important it is to keep re-lubricating with water-based. Never occurred to me the body was just vacuuming that up though.
Makes sense, too - one of the functions of the intestines/colon/rectum is to absorb excess water from the waste passing through to reuse that water in the body. I know you can hydrate your body purely by taking water rectally in, say survival situations, and the rectum just sucks the water up. The body is far less adept at reprocessing oil though.
Chase
The following might do more
The following might do more harm then good for some guys, but i think its an important thing to just have heard it once, so when the situation arises you may recognise this pattern.
Since as you point out anal is about dominance and submission, the whole "talk about it, take it slow and make her feel comfortable" seems to not work so well. In my experience that leads to shy attempts, then stopping halfway through and in the end it feels awkward for both and nothing happens. At least when she hasnt done it before.
What works is to lead her in this in a dominant way. This requeres a dominant and congruent frame that has to be set from the start. It also helps to subcommunicate that anal is part of being with you, so she either takes it or misses out on you. This is why its way easier to do first time anal with a rather new girl, then with a wife of many years.
Lets go more extreme.
Lets go more extreme. What about rimming? Always wanted to try it.
If I remember correctly and I might be wrong here but you did mention that you like doing that somewhere on this site.
I am not very squeamish (actually not at all lol) but I am a bit worried about picking up something bad.
So my questions are: How safe it really is? How can I make it safer? Can a girl actually cum from that? How can I get her to do it to me? And any other advice about this subject you think could help (maybe some techniques you know).
ps. Unrelated question about adopted missionary. Most girls (in my very limited experience) get very sensitive after their first orgasm. When using adopted missionary am I just supposed to keep going after her first orgasm or...
Rimming, Orgasm Sensitivity
AnonDude-
Hmm, might've been Alek(?). Pretty sure he's tried everything under the sun. I'm penetration-oriented. I just want to be inside her ASAP. So I'll generally nix or minimize anything not related to slipping my penis inside her.
I don't know much about rimming, except to say you (and especially women) can cum from just about anything, though some things are much easier to cum from than others... the anal tissue is pretty sensitive / nerve-ending packed, but beyond that I don't know.
Re: orgasm sensitivity, if you're using adapted missionary correctly, you'll be getting deep penetrative orgasms, which you can string together more or less consecutively, uninterrupted, most of the time. Sensitivity happens more generally with clitoral orgasms - e.g., she cums, then pulls your hand away.
HOWEVER, I will say that I've had girls cum and cum hard a bunch from adapted missionary, but then after a time start laughing and saying it tickles. And I'll stop and rest a minute, and start up again and they'll start giggling like crazy saying it tickles (and then maybe I'll go back and forth for a while just to have them in stitches, because it's amusing. And, it's got to be fun being tickled in your pussy). Hasn't happened enough that I've been able to figure out why it happens or what causes it, but I've seen it from time to time.
Chase
Thanks
Can't find the article where it was mentioned but yeah I thought it might have been someone else.
Great explanation on adopted missionary I get it now. Thanks.
Not a fan yet but great insight
Hi Chase,
Thanks for this article. Not a fan of anal sex yet, still working on getting more sex in general haha.
I have come across 2 strange situations and want to see what your insight are.
1. I chase framed by misinterpreting what a girl said. She first replied with a "Yes that's me. kind of reply. So I thought she's playing along I then continued to put in another chase frame within the context but then she started to explain herself. "No, I meant that actually..."
I didn't want to go backwards, so I said something with a skeptical look, "Riiight..."
And then she said "I was though :("
What should I do in this situation?
I remember asking you about chase frame and downplaying her interest. It feels like she's uncomfortable and worried that's how I see her or trying to one up her.
If that is where I stand with her, Should I reassure her in this moment? "Come on, relax, we're a team. Have fun!" Feels like I have to tread lightly or I'll hurt her feeling...Exactly what you mention for inexperienced girls. How to properly calibrate?
1b. Inexperienced girls and chase frames?
They don't seem to want to talk about sex or any hint of it. They feel uncomfortable. Then, how do we still get across that "We get it" and women love sex when it's an untouchable topic?
Sexual framing, Sexual prizing, Chase framing, it all has hints of that. Do we still use chase frames? Or PG 13 ones? Maybe that's why she's explaining herself?
1c. What to do when a girl becomes defensive and explains herself? Is it a good thing (investment)?
2. Dealing with religious girls' objections
"I can't do this. God won't like it"
I tried thinking of how to address this....Can't think of a good one.
Thanks Chase,
Lawliet
Chase Frames on Inexperienced Women
Lawliet-
Right – if you go too far, too fast with a chase frame, girls will need to do reputation control to make sure you aren’t making them sound like loose women.
If a girl’s differing with you to defend her reputation, you generally won’t want to call her out on it (“Riiight…”). Instead, you’re better off either shrugging it off and thread-cutting (if she’s not too invested yet) or, if she’s more invested and you think she’ll chase if you do it, disqualify her over her ‘correction’ (e.g., “Oh. And here I was just starting to think you were interesting…”).
Inexperienced girls and chase frames, yeah. They usually won’t get these. Try to rely on a sexual vibe instead. Inexperienced women tend to talk about sex clinically, or not at all – they’re not very fun in the “flirty banter” department.
With them, focus on getting a lot of touch in, giving them bedroom eyes, and other assorted ways of raising sexual tension.
Chase
Advice on "overcoming" feces association
What advice would you give to a guy who LOVES a nice ass but not the actual hole as he's disgusted by feces and very much "at odds" with feces' smell?
I guess most are, but maybe some of us a bit more than other.
I gave anal a try, still not particularly my thing though..
can't stop laughing..
Couldnt get past second paragraph, first sentence .. I mean, wouldnt you be more of a stick in the mud??
rofl, and getting later for work, especially after having to submit this 3 times! lol
thanks, Shelli
but otherwise, i hope my gf agrees! luv the mud.. i mean, not really, but not gonna ask for enima..
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