Master the Vibe: The Best Seducers Attune to Vibe

Beginner seducers often focus a lot on rules. Yet master seducers may break rules. The reason? Rules are only good so long as they help the VIBE.

A long time ago, there was a monthly subscription course called Master the Vibe (MTV) put out by a couple of guys I really respected. Some of my early newsletters went out to the MTV email list, back before I'd founded Girls Chase.

The Master the Vibe product was simple: one of the coaches would go out, record himself picking up a girl, mostly during the daytime, then they'd break down the pickup from first approach to the close of the seduction (typically with the girl back at his place or in bed). It was a wonderful product.

At the time, I thought the name Master the Vibe was curious. Just sort of a neat-sounding name, that referred to vibing, because being able to vibe is good, and having a good vibe is good.

Yet as I moved beyond intermediate with girls, and as I began to hang out with more and more highly skilled naturals, I realized vibe isn't just a thing that helps you do better with women (and people in general).

Vibe is actually kind of the point.

With Legendary Seducers, the Vibe's Always Good

Hang out with any natural (i.e., a guy who is naturally very skilled with women, and has learned most of his game intuitively/on his own/from one high-skilled mentor, rather than from books or forums) and you will notice different naturals have very different styles:

There are naturals who crack ribald, raunchy jokes non-stop with women and laugh at their own jokes (and everyone else's)
There are naturals who don't joke around much, and instead ooze a quiet guy vibe, mixed with usually a lot of cold reads and pointed observations
There are naturals who are extremely touchy, who have their arms around a girl within seconds of meeting her; other naturals barely touch at all
There are naturals who are extremely forward and explicit with women about what they want to do with them
There are naturals who never mention that they want sex with a woman, and instead make everything romantic or an adventure or tell the girl to stop being stupid if she talks about sex
There are naturals who are very muscular, masculine guys who offset their masculinity with a charming demeanor and disarming humor
There are naturals who are slim, often effeminate guys who offset their slimness and effeminacy by commanding women very strongly and leading them around

Even within types, there is a lot of variation. Many of the more talented naturals I've known have been funny guys who used a lot of sexual humor. However, the types of sexual humor I've seen them use have all been very different. Some use some variation of chase framing in their humor, but with different kinds of humor. Others do something else entirely, but still sexual and still funny.

However, there is one thing that every supremely talented natural has in common with every other natural: he is an absolute master at maintaining the vibe.

With him, there is always a good vibe.

No matter what a woman does or what happens, the vibe remains sublime.

It is also not just 'positive'; the vibe will stay sexy, electric, and firmly with a feeling of "something is happening between these two people."

If you're a guy the natural likes as a friend, you will have this constant feeling of "we have a really great friendship going between us."

If you're a girl the natural likes as a gal he wants to bed, you will have this constant feeling of "we are really into each other and it is progressing constantly and enjoyably along to us ending up together."

She can feel it. It's undeniable.

Even if a girl gets upset at him or busts out a tough test on him, he still keeps that vibe.

She might be scowling, yet she is still feeling that things with this guy are good, they are going somewhere, he is leading, yet things are also mutual.

If I had to break down this common vibe, I would break it down into those four (4) factors:

Things with this guy are good. A woman feels like he 'gets' her at a more-or-less deep level (he knows exactly what she is like, understands, accepts, and doesn't judge). He likes her and approves of her for things he's attracted to about her that she also thinks are good qualities of hers (or he has shown her are good qualities of hers). And she is having fun with this guy: it feels good; it's enjoyable; spending time with him is a pleasure.
They are going somewhere. This is not just a platonic conversation. There is either a lot of touch or a very strong sexual vibe or a ton of sexual jokes or references happening all over the place -- but not in an unwelcome way. The conversation has gotten progressively more intimate (both emotionally and situationally). It has continued to progress, on a clear trajectory, and it is clear they are moving forward through the seduction.
He is leading. It is not moving forward because she is doing it. It is also not 'just happening'. The man is clearly in the lead. He is making invites, creating situations, and doing things to keep the two of them together. This lets her relax and feel confident that things will go as they should and she'll end up with a smooth seduction that results in satisfying sex at the end of things.
Things are also mutual. Even though he's leading, he is extremely responsive to her wants, needs, and personal boundaries. If she has a boundary, he does not push at that boundary, or try to undermine it, or convince her to abandon it, unless it is an absolutely insurmountable boundary. Instead, usually he respect that boundary and looks for another way to move things forward. He takes her feedback to heart and lets it inform the way his seduction progresses. If she's ready to jump to the next step, he takes it there. If she isn't, and he's not in a hurry, he pumps the brakes a bit and gives her a little more time, while continuing to advance the seduction in other ways. She never has the feeling he is just unthinkingly following a script or running his routine; it always feels like a mutual dance they are both involved in.

Combine these four feelings, and you have a very good vibe a woman will immensely enjoy being a part of. Also, a vibe she rarely (or never) gets to be immersed in.

And, as an old teacher of mine (and one of the guys who ran the Master the Vibe podcast) once put it, women are going to do whatever will make them feel best within the next 30 minutes or so.

So long as what makes them feel best continues to be you, they will continue to be and want to be around you.

How Do You Create Such Great, Seductive Vibes?

With vibing, there is a mix of the tangible and the intangible.

By that I mean:

Tangible: you must know the tactics required to stay on top of vibe. For instance, when a girl throws you a curve ball test and says she's had a nice time talking to you but she's leaving, how do you get her to stay? There are different tactics you can use, but you need to already know at least one of them (and think to use it in the moment). Or else your general social calibration needs to be advanced enough you can concoct an effective answer on the spot.
Intangible: you must have the social calibration to come up with responses to situations you've never been in or studied and have not anticipated. You must be attuned enough to the emotions (or emotional signals) of those around you to respond accordingly. You must be able to adjust your seductions to take into account the individual nature of the woman you're seducing; for instance, if she's a romantic, you become more romantic... if she's a party girl, you ooze more party guy sensibilities -- but without pretending to be different than you are (and acting in incongruous ways) or doing anything forced (and acting in tryhard ways).

The tangible you can learn by studying tactics and going out to test and practice them in the field with women.

The intangible you can only learn by repeated social exposure, in all kinds of social situations, with a firm eye kept on people's reactions and a firm hand kept on maintaining the vibe.

You improve at what you focus on. If your focus always remains on keeping the vibe good, you will increasingly find ways to do this. You will learn both consciously and unconsciously what to do to maintain good vibes.

And you will get better and better at vibing.

We have a lot of content on vibe on Girls Chase -- I suggest you read some (really, all) of them (in fact, the first three articles I published on Girls Chase were all vibe articles):

However, vibe, like tactics in general, is something you can only master in the field with live women.

You must be out there, focused on vibe with the women you meet, and trying your best to always keep your interaction with a woman at a preternaturally good vibration.

Sufficiently Skilled Seducers Will Break Rules to Maintain Vibe

We had a good discussion on the forum about naturals breaking all kinds of 'rules' most seducers normally follow and getting away with it. The point I made was that naturals who do so typically do so in service to the vibe.

I learned to do a lot of this from naturals I went out with in my early days. I'd be stiffly trying to adhere to ironclad 'rules' I'd learned from the mid-2000s pickup community, such as:

Don't chase
Never qualify yourself
Don't seem too over-eager for sex
Never pay for drinks
The man always leads

... and so on. And most of the time, these are indeed rules you'll want to stick to. But some of the time, you need to bend, or even abandon, these rules. There are no absolute rules in seduction (pound that into your head). Only "most of the time" advisories.

Well, anyway, 2007 Chase would be out with a highly skilled natural buddy of his, and 2007 Chase would be trying to be very careful to always do things he should do and never do things he shouldn't, and meanwhile his natural buddy would do things the rules said he shouldn't do and not do things the rules said he should, and he'd shag his girl and 2007 Chase wouldn't. And 2007 Chase would scratch his head and say, "I did a far better job of following the rules than he did. But he got his girl and I didn't get mine. Why was that?"

What I realized was that as good as I was at 'following the rules', my buddy was much, much better at constructing a fun seduction his girl really enjoyed that made her want to stick around with him and keep moving forward with him.

If you're too focused on always following rules, you're going to be stiff. Stiffness will cost you many girls. In fact, it may cost you the majority of girls you could've had. There is a point in almost every seduction where you have to break one or more rules you'd normally want to follow. Naturals and highly skilled self-taught seducers have no compunction about doing this. Beginners and intermediates on the other hand often have a lot of resistance to breaking the rules they follow. Seduction is still new, fast, and confusing, and they cling to the rules as their guideposts -- missing out on lays in the process.

“NEVER buy her drinks! It's too gamey!”

Once I saw in the field my natural buddies repeatedly dropping or breaking rules like this yet keeping the vibe on-point, I shifted my focus from: "#1: always follow the rules" to "#1: always maintain the vibe. #2: follow the rules so long as the rules don't hurt the vibe."

So I reached the point where I would drop the rules if I had to to keep the vibe where I wanted it. You might see me in a group of people, talking to someone else I needed to talk to, and the girl I wanted started to leave, because she began to feel unwelcome in the group, and I'd run after her and tell her wait, wait, wait, don't go, don't go, stay here, and tell her "Stay here! The night's not over! Okay? We're going to get some drinks, for the group, it's going to be a good time... OR! If you don't want to go back to the group, that's okay... but I'd like to get to know you. So you and me, we can go off, have our own drinks, we don't have to go back to the group. Let's go get drinks. We can rejoin the group later if we want to."

And this won't always work. Sometimes the vibe is too ruined for the girl by the point a girl is peeling off... she's been too long neglected by the group, or she has something going on that puts her in a foul mood. Yet sometimes this kind of strategy will work, and suddenly this girl who was on her way out is sitting alone at the bar with you, and you went from barely having talked to her before to 90% of the way to pulling her.

If you watched me do that, and you were a beginner or an intermediate, you might have an internal debate of, "Was that chasing? You're never supposed to chase. Well, since it worked, I guess that must have been persistence, not chasing. But is it persistence when you run after a girl you've barely talked to before? Maybe it's actually considered the 'first approach', thus not chasing?"

In fact though -- yeah, that was chasing. I chased her down, and got her to stay. And it worked!

97% of the time you should not chase women. 3% of the time, however, it's the best (or only) strategy if you want to actually end up with the girl.

In that example, chasing her down and convincing her to stay was the only thing that was going to bring back the vibe. The vibe was lost, she was on her way out... you aren't going to get her back by calling out something really chill to her, or messaging her some chill message (if even you have her in your phone).

So, you do what you have to do -- you set your usual rules aside, because vibe trumps rules.

If a girl's about to leave because she's got you all wrong, and the only thing that will keep her there is setting her straight and qualifying yourself outright ("Look, you've got me wrong. I am NOT a [whatever she thinks you are], okay? I am [something], I do [something], and I [something else]. Okay? Can we sit? [she starts to sit] I'll tell you what, actually, let's move over to this couch, we're too far away from each other sitting over here [she moves with you, and now she's hooked back in]."

In most situations, qualifying yourself is a no-no. Don't do that.

Yet in a situation where the vibe is ruined no matter what you say, unless you qualify yourself -- then okay fine, qualify yourself. Do what you have to to get the vibe back.

If you're with a woman, and she grabs the lead to move things forward, and you can tell she's excited, and that she wants what you want, and her proposal seems like a genuinely good proposal that will indeed move things forward, then take it.

You should almost always lead yourself. Often when women lead and you let them, it hurts the vibe because the girl leads things in a more platonic direction or she leads things in a not-very-useful direction.

However if, say, you've met a girl at a bar or a party, and there's a really strong vibe between you, and suddenly she says, "Hey -- you should meet my friends," and you say, "Well, I don't know. I'm sure your friends are good people. But I'm having such a great time with you, I really don't want to get sucked into talking to a group for 20 minutes and suddenly our great vibe is gone," and she says, "Don't worry, we're going to talk to them for like a minute, I just want them to meet you," and you realize she is just trying to let her friends see this cool guy she's met real quick so they can sign off on you and leave her alone / not bug her when she disappears with you later, then you just go right along with that.

You've already set the conditions for it by telling her what you don't want to happen, and she's reassured you that won't happen and that you and her are on the same page. After two minutes with her friends, if she hasn't led, you'll be able to pull, and she's likely to say yes.

Most of the time, you should not let a woman lead.

But, if it maintains the vibe better than anything else, and you've vetted where she's leading to and are convinced it's the best thing for the vibe, then let her do it.

Break your rules if it's what you must do to maintain (or build... or rebuild) the vibe.

Conclusion

It's all about vibe.

This is a usually-technical site.

I try to break things down into as-mechanical how-tos as I can. I never liked material that was overly vague myself. While I'm good at seeing what a skilled guy is doing in-the-field and parsing that out, figuring out what a guy is doing over text when it isn't detailed and clear is a lot harder. You can guess, but you might not guess right.

However, the reason I am generally so anti-dogma (and if you know me, you know I loathe dogma) is because of how at a high enough level, you will be breaking rules, and rules stop being absolute.

When you're a beginner or an intermediate, it can confuse you if guys you're studying do not follow the rules, or recommend things that seem to contradict previously accepted rules.

But rules are in service to vibe.

The reason the rules exist is because usually, you need to follow those rules to maintain the vibe.

Usually if you chase a woman, it will ruin the vibe. Usually if you start qualifying yourself, it ruins the vibe. That is the reason those rules exist -- because usually, failing to follow them hurts the vibe.

However... sometimes... breaking the rules is good for the vibe.

Sometimes you need to break a rule to keep a girl out of auto-rejection or to move the seduction forward.

And when this is the case, breaking the rule is actually the best thing to do.

The better you master the vibe of seduction, the smoother your seductions go and the more predictably they end with girls in your bed.

Beginners and intermediates focus on rules.

What differentiates a talented advanced guy, and (even more so) a seduction master is his level of focus on and control of the vibe.

Do silly stuff, if it helps the vibe.

A truly masterful seducer keeps a vibe with a woman where she feels good, feels she and he are going somewhere, feels he is leading, yet feels things are also mutual.

And she likes this, and it feels better than anything else she can do and feel in this moment, so she sticks with it, and keeps sticking with it, so long as the vibe still feels this way, and things stay good, and they continue moving forward in a way that feels good.

And if things still feel good in the bedroom, and keep moving forward after sex, she'll come back and see him again for another round.

And if things still feel good at that point, and keep moving forward after their second time meeting for sex, she'll come back for a third.

And a fourth. And she'll be converted.

And then so long as the vibe stays good, and feels like things are advancing, she will continue to be right there, immersed in the vibe.

This is what differentiates a masterful seducer. Far more than rules... the master has vibe.

Chase Amante

Author

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.

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