Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
  1. Articles by Author
  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Tactics Tuesdays: Fixing a Poor Tactical Focus

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

tactical reset
What happens if you just aren’t getting anywhere with girls? Should you grind it out? No – instead, enter the tactical reset.

Have you ever seen those a guy who tries to learn game, but no matter what, he just can’t get results?

He could spend months – or in the extreme, years – and never progress beyond getting phone numbers from girls (that never lead to dates) or make-outs with them (that never lead to sex).

Hopefully, you haven’t experienced anything quite so bad (the worst-case guys do seem to be a small minority). But maybe you’ve seen some flavor of this... You’ve hit a plateau, tried to grind it out, and just nothing was working. How do you deal with these situations?

In today’s article, I’m going to share with you the approach I’ve found most helpful for resolving this issue: it’s what I call a ‘tactical reset’.

Before we get to that though, let’s talk about why these hang-ups happen.

10 Signs a Place is Great to Meet Girls At

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

great place to meet girls at
How do you know if a place is good to meet girls at? Look for these 10 signs: girls out-dress guys, girls are fitter than guys, female body art, and more.

In my series on ‘game imbalance hypothesis’ – that some places are easier to meet girls than others, and that harder places train their men to have more skill at bedding and dating women – I discussed how to operate in hard and easy environments. You can read the three articles in the Game Imbalance series below:

  1. Game Imbalance Hypothesis
  2. Navigating Highly Competitive Sexual Markets
  3. Locating Good Low Competition Sexual Markets

Today I wanted to do a follow up post that asks: how else do you recognize if a place is good for meeting girls?

First off, if you haven’t read at least article #3 above, make sure you read that one. I cover a lot of signs there that I won’t go over in this article. This article is more about superficial ‘quick scan’ signs you can look for to make a snap judgment about a place. Article #3 above, on locating low competition markets, digs into the deeper indications a place will be worthwhile (or not). Also be sure to check out Alek Rolstad’s article on choosing the right nighttime spot; if you enjoy nightlife, it’s a must-read.

The ‘quick scan’ signs I’ll go over in this article are all indicators you learn to look for subconsciously once you’ve been at this a while and you’ve grown used to meeting girls in different kinds of environments. They allow you to get a swift feel for the terrain and make a judgment about whether a spot is worth investing your time into, or whether you ought to move on.

I’ve picked up on these over the years as I’ve frequented different venues, different cities, and different cultures and countries. The big benefits of being able to read a situation fast like this is the ability to screen out unproductive locales, but also to endure in productive ones. Due to random variation, sometimes you might strike out the first few girls you approach in what will otherwise be a terrific place for you. If you know it should be good, it’s easier to weather these bumps without writing a place off prematurely.

Notes in mind, let’s get to our ten (10) signs a place is great to meet girls at.

How Much Should You Do for a Girlfriend? The Investment Scales

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

do for a girlfriend
What’s the right amount to do for a girl you date? How do you know if you invest too much or too little? Two measures: boredom and neglect.

Commenting on my article “Early Boyfriend Distinction – She Helps You vs. You Help Her”, a reader asks (emphasis added):

“Thanks for another insight article especially about how “dynamics” really work and that as long as you can handle situations in the right dynamics, you can break the rules or at least not follow them strictly. Which brings back to a question I have in terms of giving help to a girl. So just a little background, I’m currently dating an au pair, who is considered a foreigner in this country. So I have helped her with a lot of things such as improving her English, help her with application for status extension/change, plus a number of non-fun items, even though after those items we have fun and sleep together as much as I want. So more of an early boyfriend status. So my question is am i doing too much to help her, have you done an article in terms of when offering help to your girlfriend, what is the right amount or how to gauge when to help and when not to help and just let her do it on her own?”

Getting the right balance on how much to do for a girlfriend is an issue for more intermediate daters on up. When many men start out, they pay no attention to a girl’s investment in them, and instead throw as much investment as they can at her to try to woo her. Once they realize this hurts them with her instead of helps, they begin to scale it back. Except, here, they often go too far. How do you get the balance of your investment right, so you do not make her feel either over- or undervalued?

First off, if you’re unfamiliar with the concepts of investment/compliance, or you need a refresher, be sure you’ve read these articles:

Also read the article linked to at the start of this installment. It discusses the crucial questions of “who’s doing what for whom” in terms of the pre-sex courtship.

Having read those, though, you’re likely still left with one tangled up question: how do I know when I’ve invested too much or too little in her?

There’s not an easy answer to this question, but I’ll do my best to prune some of the vines off it for you here and give you a formula you can work with.

13 Things Inexperienced Girls Do that Men Mistake for Sluttiness

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

inexperienced girls
No one’s dating instincts are perfect. Sometimes you’ll think a girl is slutty when the truth is inexperience makes her act too direct.

You don’t realize it until you’re quite experienced with girls, but your instincts – especially as a beginner – don’t always give you the most reliable information.

You see this with a lot of inexperienced men, who end up dating very experienced women, convinced of these girls inexperience and chastity (check out my article on how to gauge a girl’s partner count if you want a better handle on this). Yet the opposite happens too: inexperienced men often write off inexperienced women because they misread these girls’ inexperience as confident experience. Even men who are pretty good with girls often misread these signals.

Today, I’m going to show you 13 things inexperienced women do that cause men to incorrectly assume they are more experienced with men than they are.

There’s a theme running through these 13 things, you might notice. That theme is this: more experienced girls create mystery, build anticipation, and embody a feminine air. Less experienced girls are usually blunt, raw, and over-direct.

Put another way, the more experienced a girl becomes with men, the better able she is to trigger within men the emotions men most enjoy from women. The less experienced she is, the worse she is at this.

Note that none of these are absolutes. There are experienced women who do these things too. However, if you see a girl do two or three or four of these things, you can feel be confident she’s likely inexperienced with men.

That in mind, let’s peel back these 13 things and change how you look at the women you meet.

Boobs vs. Butts: Male Tastes Differ (& Your 10 Isn’t Everybody’s)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

boobs vs. butts
You shouldn’t treat her like a ‘10’… Because even the most beautiful girl is only a ‘10’ to a certain chunk of the male population.

I came across a fascinating 1968 study on male preferences in female body part sizes this weekend. The study asked men to rate various female silhouettes, like these:

Then, at a separate date, in what the male subjects thought was a separate study, the researchers had the same men answer a number of questions about themselves.

They then compared the men’s body type preferences to personality attributes and other dimensions to look for correlations. And they discovered (as you might imagine) that different types of men like different types of women.

The body type ratings men gave were of figures that looked like this:

boobs vs. butts

And the personality dimensions and background details the men provided information on covered the gamut, from social interaction styles to what kind of magazines they read.

We’ll talk about the findings of this study and a few other ones, if you’re curious to know what your taste in women says about you. But more than that, the point of this post is going to be to give you one additional tool to help take the girls you really like off any pedestals you have them on... By driving home the point that while you might think she’s a complete 10/10, there are plenty of other men who don’t, and odds are she doesn’t even view herself that way.

Tactics Tuesdays: Treat Her Hot and Horny

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

hot and horny
Some girls you do well with, some girls not so well. What’s the difference? One of the big ones: do you treat her hot and horny, or not.

This post is probably best suited to men who are intermediate and up with girls. If you’re just starting out, it’s still worth reading to know what mindset to aim for, but you may not be able to implement it just yet if you don’t have at least one type of girl you do well with consistently.

Commenting on my article “When She Picks You, It’s Vital She Feels It’s Her Choice”, a reader named Asian Guy asks:

“Hi Chase!

I sort of have a question I have been hoping to find the answer to for a while but am not sure really where to look. I’ve bought your spellbinding book and even looked at a how to date korean women book done by one of your friends. However, to this day I am still not sure how to go after korean women who are raised in a conservative society. As an example, recently I met a korean girl and after going on a few dates with her, she wouldn’t even try to really hug in public. I was told by my korean guy friends that korean girls tend not to do anything touchy feely public. After going out on 4 dates with her, I tried to go to her place (my place not logistically possible). She hemmed and hawed and said something like how she just moved in and her place isn’t ready to have people over.

A lot of the techniques here are literal gold when it comes to american women or americanized asian women, but for asian women from asia, I am still having problems. For example, a lot of times when I propose to go home with a conservative asian girl on the the first or second date, they actually seem to get offended or completely creeped out. This never happens to me with americanized asian girls, who “get” the whole thing. I’ve never been able to date the more conservative ones because they tend to be extremely cautious and the techniques that would normally work for other girls fail here. It seems that they are into a boyfriend candidate all the time. I have tried a lot to disqualify, but these girls seem hard-wired to want a boyfriend, and the moment I disqualify, they are gone.

I was curious if you had any ideas or experiences what to do here. It seems with most conservative asian girls it takes up to 6-9 dates to really go anywhere. I have recognized that there exist a lot of conservative asian girls who do sleep with men fast, but it seems those are the more rebellious type, which you can usually tell. For the ones that tend to stay home, not drink, go to the library, etc, do you have any ideas how or if you would tailor everything?

Thanks Chase!!”

First off, although this comment is about girls from Asia (and Korea in particular), it’s a microcosm of a phenomenon men face across their courtships with all girls.

That’s because just like there are men who think Asian girls from Asia are too conservative and too hard to get, there are men who think they’re ridiculously easy. Just like there are men who specialize in deflowering girls who’ve resisted sex with other men for years. And like there are men who think X type of girl is easy, even though other men think X type of girl is impossible.

So, I’m going to answer Asian Guy’s question. But in so doing, I’m also going to give you a tweak to how you approach the girls you approach that, if you implement it, will supercharge your results with them.

Deep Down, Do Women Long for True Love Most of All?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

women true love
Love seems like the ultimate female obsession. But do girls actually desire love as much as it seems? The answer is “It depends.”

In my article on dating mistakes, a reader asks about women and love:

“What about girls & wanting to fall in love? I think most women deep down want “true love”, aka to find a sexy, awesome guy who they fall in love w/ (w/ the great sex, & intrigue, mystery & all that).

Love being a strong connection, caring for & bonding, etc. Also society paints it as wife-husband but whatever the label, the concept’s the same: to fall in love w/ an awesome guy & for it to last is what most women want at the core – What do you think of that theory? ”

If you watch a lot of cinema, you’re likely quick to answer, “Of course!”

Love – it makes the world go ‘round. All you need is love. And all the other slogans like that.

And love is a wonderful thing. It’s a great emotion. It’s an important one, too.

But is it, in the innermost hearts of womankind, truly what the fairer sex seeks?

As you likely know by now, if you’re hoping for the Hollywood party line, this isn’t the site for that. However, before I give you a straight answer, I’d like to explore a little of the science on love with you.

And then we’ll talk about how important it really is to women.

Tactics Tuesdays: “That’s Fake” and Practice Mentality

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

practice mentality
When you start to change your appearance or behavior, people can call you fake. Or you might even feel fake. Yet with Practice Mentality, you can avoid all this.

In my August article on seven major dating mistakes, a reader asks about people who view (or attack) self-improvement efforts or general behavior as ‘being fake’ or ‘not being real’:

“This is regarding barriers to improving fundamentals and improving your life in general:

Did you notice how people label any potential improvement as fake? If they improve, they think, people won’t like them for who they are and that’s bad. For people who have had advantages for a long time it seems like a natural part of them.

For example:

– Someone who is fat thinks that if he loses weight and women start liking him more, then they don’t like him for who he really is. They are just a bunch of superficial cunts. But, if you’ve been thin for a long time, it seems like a part of you.

– If you dress poorly, improving your fashion will seem as fake. Who cares how you dress? People should like you for who you are. But, those who dress well will tell you it’s just a part of them – part of who they are.

– Being famous or wealthy and getting great results with women also seems fake to many people (99.999% of people don’t have access to fame or great wealth). So, you’ll hear terms like ‘fame-digger’ or ‘gold-digger’ used to describe those superficial women who like rock stars, football players or bankers/CEOs.

– The same goes for learning ‘game’. If you’re learning it, then you’re just a fake manipulator.

etc.

What do you think about this phenomenon? Is it even real or am I delusional?”

Well, first off, this is absolutely a genuine phenomenon, and it’s something every man who sits down to improve himself in one dimension or another encounters.

You start to change something about yourself, and somebody calls you fake. Or you see others change their reactions toward you as you change superficial details about yourself, and you decide they are fake. Or maybe you even look at your outward displays, deem them nothing like whom you are on the inside, and label yourself a fake.

I’m going to talk briefly about why people view people engaged in self-improvement as fake, and then I’m going to give you a useful mindset I’ve long used to not have to worry about this.

I call it the ‘Practice Mentality’. But we’ll get to that.

Eliminate Approach Anxiety: Podcast with Glenn Pearce

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

Howdy! I’m happy to bring you a special podcast I did directly myself with Glenn Pearce. Glenn’s one of the coaches I have the most respect for in the men’s dating advice industry – he’s even a guy I got coaching from myself a good 9 years back.

Tactics Tuesdays: Destroy Your Own Learned Helplessness

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

learned helplessness
Our society trains men to be helpless, for several of its own reasons. But it’s important you know helplessness is learned... not inborn.

Learned helplessness is the behavior shift that occurs when an animal or individual decides its situation is impossible to change. At this point, the individual decides he is helpless to affect the outcome, and simply gives up trying.

Some of the most tragic stories of crushed spirits come when you discuss learned helplessness. Animals who’ve been caged so long they won’t try to leave even if you leave their cage doors open. Prisoners who aren’t able to operate outside the penal system, so commit crimes to go back to the familiar comfort of the prison yard. And men who’ve been unsuccessful with women so long they don’t even try to meet them.

In a recent popular thread on our Beginners’ Forum, a forum member starts off by asking why women like dominant men and men who take the lead. But it quickly becomes clear his real issue is not a philosophical question of why women prefer dominant men, but an exploration of his desire for women, yet lack of motivation to take steps to meet, date, and sleep with them.

This article will not be about why girls desire dominance and leadership, per se. If you’d like more on those topics, see these articles:

Rather, this article will be about the phenomenon of learned helplessness in the modern male – where it comes from, who’s responsible for it, and what you can do to shake it off.