We'll be working on our site upgrade again this evening, so expect some downtime. Should be about 4 hours. Everything should be working normally after that though, and the changes should be all but invisible.
Chase
Hey there,
Just a quick update that GirlsChase.com will be down from about 1 AM EST to 5 AM EST this evening while we upgrade the website architecture.
This should not affect how you use the site, and any changes you see to GC should be minimal.
If you're online at this time and need your fix, the forum will still be open.
Cheers,
Chase
There’s a little-discussed concept in seduction called “backward rationalization”, where someone attributes reasons for a choice or action after-the-fact, rather than before it.
A simple example is you bring a girl home after a date and escalate on her, nearly to the point of sex. If you then have sex, there’s a good chance afterward she looks back and says, “Well, we had sex because he was attractive / charming / had a good body / etc.”
If on the other hand you do not have sex, there’s a fair chance she looks back after and says, “Well, we didn’t have sex because I wasn’t really that into him.”
In both cases, it may have simply been that you pushed a little harder to get past last minute resistance in the first scenario, and in the second you got winded and gave up. But the narrative she retains about why you slept together or didn’t is completely different.
Backward rationalization can mean the difference between her thinking you’re great or her thinking you’re not... all due to the outcome you achieve with her.
A
reader named Tom wrote in a short while back with the following
question:
“Can you do an article of what a man should do when he has to compete with a badboy to attract a woman?
Many thanks for reading.”
Well, that’s an interesting one.
Especially considering so much of the content on Girls Chase is aimed at turning you into the bad boy.
But what happens when you’re head-to-head with a badder boy than you?
If you ever watch good verbal movie seductions – like, say, one featuring Sean Connery or George Clooney – you’ll notice there’s often a moment when the male suddenly cuts all the cute stuff, leans in, and says something that locks the tension in and dials it up through the roof.
This is usually the moment of the seduction when you smile to yourself and say, “Wow, he’s good.”
Sometimes when one of these men do this, the woman in question is going off on a tangent, or rambling, or even panicking.
And then he just hushes her up, leans in, drops a little word bomb on her, and the tension goes through the roof.
If they’re somewhere private, they may start kissing... then disrobing. If they’re in public, the tension might be thick enough to chop with a meat cleaver (and the man will follow it up either by lightening the mood a bit to avoid cresting emotions too high and causing the spell to break... or by pulling her somewhere private, if it’s an option).
For the sake of discussing this technique more easily, I’m going to call the phrases the male uses ‘tension locks’; there are four (4) of them, they can be really effective, and best of all, you needn’t be a movie star or a master seducer to use them.
You just need to know what they are, and when to put them into play.
In the
comment section of my article “10 Surprising Reasons Women Will Have Sex
with You”, a reader remarked on a
study on luck that discovered exceptionally “lucky” people
basically are much better at noticing and seizing on opportunities,
while “unlucky” people are more single-minded and stubborn, and miss
opportunities.
Our reader commented that:
“I totally coroborate it with my incident today. There is this cute girl in my neighbouring room in student dorm I had been planning to talk to for days. I thought over it for days and planned a silly excuse to go talk to her only to realise that she had been sick. Instead of adapting quickly and offering her to drop by place for some warm tea i completely flipped and just went through what i had planned in my mind before, Just like the article i missed the opportunity for a spontaneous casual conversational connection based on my planned mindset. think this is what most people nervous with girls and new to it suffer, presence of mind and adaptablity. Not always but specific to situation they are not comfortable with. Your views on this !”
And... yes. This hits the nail on the head all kinds of ways.
You know, one of the most common attributes nearly all inexperienced guys have in common is they’re stubborn. You tell them to do something, and they won’t do it because they’ve already put themselves on a certain path and they don’t want to get off it. Or they want to finish this thing they’re working on.
And that’s a good habit to have (focus; follow-through). And I’m that way to a large extent myself, or was originally (now I’m more diversified: focused in where focused in is useful, big picture where that’s more useful), so I do relate.
But if you want to do better with girls, and if you want to sleep with more girls, a big part of that is going to come from learning to be flexible, and recognize the opportunities you’ve been letting slip by you wholly unrecognized.
One of the big mysteries for a lot of guys who are new to pickup is just how, exactly, men who are ‘naturals’ with women meet enough women to have the partner volume they do.
If you’ve ever had a talented natural friend, you’ll notice it seems like he never does a cold approach, and spends most of his time just hanging around and socializing, and yet, somehow, unless you’re doing huge volumes of cold approaches yourself, he just runs laps around you lay-count-wise.
You stop by to grab him for lunch and he’s walking yet another girl out of his place, hair disheveled and a wistful look in her eye.
Where do guys who are genuine naturals with women meet all the girls they sleep with?
In the
article on bids for connection,
a commenter asked about the following fear about random people
recognizing him as, essentially, 'that pickup artist guy', and creating
trouble for him:
“What's really missing is in your articles to cover - most men have rooted lifestyles, so whether they know it consciously or not they meet mostly the same people every day. We are aware that coworkers don't change daily, but other people - people who goes to the same shops, uses the same public services are pretty much the same people, and if you live in a 500,000-1,500,000 people city you think consciously that you always meet different people, but in most cases the people you see around are the same people you've seen two weeks or two days before and just don't care to remember them. I've experimented with it and seen that there are people I meet pretty much everyday or at least once in a week, because of daily schedule which is highly repetitive. I notice the effects of what they call this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birthday_problem which in a nutshell means that running into the same items (people, numbers whatever) is more likely than it may seem. If you have 10000 people using public services at the same time, and then you see ~20 all the time around you, it doesn't mean that you run into the same person only 0.5% of the time, it's much higher percent actually and it grows with every day you expose yourself to the world until you expose yourself to the same and same people again and again without consciously knowing it.”
He goes on to discuss the fear of being called out by a "nagging old lady or angry psycho of some kind" who may say something mean, and notes that a "large clump of guys [may] never start the game because of emotionally feeling the high percentage of such shaming happening [i]s a big danger to their identities of "good guys" they work so hard to preserve."
It's a perfectly natural concern and, in fact, one I wondered about myself early on. It's one worth paying some attention to, in all honesty, and I'll tell you why and how to do that in this post as well.
However, the biggest lesson you'll see with this kind of thing is the same one this same commenter notes at the start of this same comment: "You've got hundreds of articles less or more discussing pretty much the same topic of "Just move your ass and do the thing, accept early failures and later get awesome results!""
At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I might as well save
you 10 minutes if you don't feel like reading: the advice here is going
to be exactly this: just move your
ass and do the thing... and this fear magically vanishes. -Poof!-
Surprised? No? Well, let's look at why, at least.
Note from Chase: this is our second article from John Turner, a member of our discussion forum. John’s first article was about “The Seduction Triangle”; in this article, he discusses the differences between men who approach doing better with women from a more broken perspective vs. men who approach it from a healthier one. Here’s John.
In recent years, it seems that the “PUA” lifestyle has gotten more and more attention in the media, and from what I’ve seen, it has been mostly negative.
This can seem confusing to beginners:
If learning pick up is going to make me a more attractive man and a better lover / boyfriend / husband, then shouldn’t girls encourage guys to learn this, and not be disgusted and irritated when the subject of pick up comes up?
Well, yes and no.
In my article “Tactics Tuesdays: Calling Her When Texts Don’t Pan Out”, commenter AnonDude asked the following:
“I found that interesting and it would be great if you could write a post on different styles and goals of seduction, pros and cons of each, combinations of different styles and stuff like that.”
I thought this’d make for a fun article, so decided to write this one next.
Now, this might not necessarily be as practical an article, since, as you’ll see, you are what you are and you like what you like and you don’t have much, if any, conscious control over that.
Nevertheless, this may still be useful for you: we’ll be looking at what you want, why you do what you do, and what things you ought to be focused on (and what things not).
Let’s talk about what the 3 sorts of lady-killer are... and figure out which one you are.
