Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

How Much Should You Invest in Girls?

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By: Chase Amante

Over the years, I’ve urged you to do less for girls and not be so eager to please:

Some of the other writers on this site have urged you to do this as well:

invest in herYet, there is a flip side to this too; and that is that the man who is too stingy with his effort appears petty, tryhard, and socially stunted.

If you’re too much of a compliance miser, girls sense it’s because you fear being too nice. Which can send them into auto-rejection... when they realize you’re deliberately refusing to do for them out of a desire to hold onto power and control (as opposed to, say, not doing for them because you just don’t comply a lot because you’re a free man, outcome independent, and do only what you want to do).

What’s the right balance to strike, then?

How much should you do for girls... as opposed to how much should you not?

That’s what this article is about: how to strike the right balance with your effort.

Her Raw Material or Your Relationship Skills: Which Matters More?

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By: Chase Amante

relationship skillsOne of the more interesting questions in relationship management is this one:

The raw material of the person you’re working with, or your relationship management abilities: which matters more?

Stated differently, are you better off dating girls you know make excellent relationship candidates, or are you better off practicing excellent relationship management yourself?

Of course, you know my advice to you will be: “Do both!”

In my opinion, both these two guys:

  1. The guy who picks a girl who’s a terrible fit for a relationship, yet reasons he’ll be able to ‘change’ her or ‘handle’ her; and

  2. The guy who picks a girl who’s an incredible fit for a relationship, then proceeds to do everything wrong from a relationship management standpoint

... are equally screwed.

However, there are some wrinkles to this that are worth understanding.

Why You Always Date the Wrong Person

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By: Chase Amante

There are two types of people in the world, romantically-speaking:

  • Those who always date the right person, and
  • Those who always date the wrong person

The people who always date the right person are fairly consistently happy, contented, and have wonderful views of the opposite sex. They think dating is grand, and they’re still friends with their exes. Or at least they think warmly of them.

The people who always date the wrong person are fairly consistently ticked off, resentful, or disappointed, and often have scathing views of the opposite sex. They think dating is a grind, and they’re confused and unhappy, or even mortal enemies with their exes... when they’re not trying to get their exes back again, that is.

date the wrong person

This article is about why people fall into one of these camps or the other: why some people always date the right person, and why others always date the wrong one.

If She Does Not Meet Your Needs, Fix It, Tell Her, or Cut Bait

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By: Chase Amante

I see a lot of guys in relationships where they just aren’t getting their needs met:

she doesn't meet your needs

... and I always say to myself, “That seems silly, why don’t they just either fix the situation or get out?”

It seems straightforward enough: if she does not meet your needs, then you either

  • Fix the situation,
  • Make HER fix the situation, or
  • Replace her

Yet, human emotion is not so simple, and once a guy’s is invested in a girl, it’s often hard to pull himself away, even if the situation is not ideal.

So, that in mind, I want to take a look at how men end up in these unsatisfactory positions... and I want to give you some advice on what to do, should you find yourself stuck in a similar pit of tar, unable to get free and sinking ever downward.

Don’t be So Afraid to Compliment Others

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By: Chase Amante

Several times over the years, both on this site and in our newsletter, I’ve discussed compliments: both how to compliment, as well as when to do it, what compliments work best, and even a few nonverbal tricks to make your compliments more convincing.

Despite that, I notice most guys still don’t compliment much, and I suspect this is largely due to a few common fears around complimenting:

  • “What if my compliment draws attention to my own undesirable traits?”
  • “What if it sounds like I’m just trying to ingratiate myself?”
  • “What if I inflate her ego too much?”

I’m not going to tell you those fears are preposterous, because those things do happen.

However, I will tell you those fears are most likely overblown.

And I’m also going to tell you that if you even have these fears at all, you have little to worry about when it comes to paying compliments.

afraid to compliment

Let’s tackle some of these concerns though, and address what’s behind them.

She Always Needs to Think You’re in Control

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By: Chase Amante

content="If a girl doesn’t think you’re in control, her attraction and respect for you suffer. Yet, you needn’t be the uptight in-control guy to show her this.">

That sounds like a power-mad, insecure, control-freak title for an article, doesn’t it?

“She always needs to think you’re in control.”

Pretty outdated, right?

Especially in a world in which more men consider ‘masculinity’ a bad thing than a good thing:

you're in control

In truth, we get plenty of guys who stumble upon Girls Chase articles (and mine in particular) who object to just this advice:

  • “Why does the guy have to do everything?”
  • “Why do I have to be in control?”
  • “Why can’t women just take the lead sometimes?”

But this article isn’t so much about WHY you must lead, nor much about HOW to lead.

If you want to know more about that subject, check these articles out:

Rather, this article is about keeping up appearances, and not giving a girl the impression that the guy she’s with is floating along, doesn’t have a clue, or is abdicating leadership of the courtship... whether to her, to Mother Nature, or to fate, luck, hope, or chance.

She always needs to think you are in control.

Because if she doesn’t, she ain’t hanging around.

Tactics Tuesday: Pace Her Reality (& Guide Her Emotions)

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By: Chase Amante

You’re with a group of three girls you’ve just met at a nightclub, and you’ve really hit it off with one of the girls, this girl Ava. She’s cute, perky, and a whole lot of fun.

pace her reality

Suddenly, you’re yanked out of an engrossed conversation with Ava by a fracas nearby; one of the other girls in the group, Miria, is shouting at one of the nightclub’s bouncers.

First the other friend jumps in.

Then your girl, Ava, jumps in too.

You hang on the sidelines, unsure what to do.

You could feel it’d been going pretty well with Ava, and you thought you stood a pretty solid chance to pull her home tonight.

The argument between the girls and the bouncer end, with the bouncer telling Ava and the other friend that they need to keep Miria on a leash or he’s going to boot them out.

Ava and the two girls debate among each other, emotionally fraught. Finally, Ava turns back to you and says, “Sorry, I think we’re just going to leave.”

“It’s okay, I understand,” you say calmly. You aren’t sure exactly how to react, but you decide to play it cool and do your best to look unfazed. “Let’s trade cells so we can connect later on.”

“I’m really not in trading-numbers mood right now,” she says, “Sorry. I just want to go home.”

Then, she turns away, and her and her two friends take off.

Them’s the shakes, right?

Could it have gone any differently?

It could have – had you paced her reality, instead of freezing in the headlights.

Mind Control: How Media Influence Your Thoughts and Feelings

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By: Chase Amante

In Mao Zedong’s communist China, in the late 1940s, a new approach to encourage ‘right-thinking’ emerged, termed xǐ năo, which means “wash brain”. This washing of the brain was designed to scrub out bad thoughts and ideas, freeing the now-cleansed brain to think about things ‘correctly’.

The term ‘brainwash’ entered the English vernacular in the early 1950s and became a dreaded boogeyman during the Cold War era. 1962’s The Manchurian Candidate made brainwashing the subject of a popular film, and in 1974 the United States’ own mind control program, dubbed MKUltra, came partly to light (though only after the CIA destroyed most of the project’s records a year earlier).

media influence

Chinese brainwashing and American reprogrammed assassins are interesting examples, but they’re just new takes on an age-old principle, one that’s been a central tenet of states, religions, rites of passage, and social groups of all shapes, colors, and sizes, since time immemorial.

That principle is at work in everything you see, read, listen to, or debate.

It’s even at work right now as you read this page.

That principle, of course, is that every message you let into your eyes or ears informs your worldview and alters your mental model ever so slightly... or sometimes so much.

And if you’re not careful about whom you let play switchboard operator in your brain, you may end up with a set of beliefs about the world that lead you all kinds of places you’d rather not go.

How to Pick Up Younger Women (18-22)

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By: Chase Amante

younger women 18-22Yesterday I responded to a post on our forum about succeeding with girls in the 19- to 23-years-old range from a guy in his mid-30s who noted he does fine with women over 23 but struggles to get anywhere with younger gals. I wanted to flesh this one out a bit more and make it a proper post.

If you’ve been following the site for a while, you probably remember I tackled younger women in this post, about three years ago (has it been that long? Wow...):

“Attracting and Dating Younger Women”

However, that was a more involved post, with a lot of research, psychology, explanation, and discussion of not only the initial seduction but the ongoing relationship too.

This post will be a more tactical one, and one specifically aimed at how to pick up younger women, particularly in the late teens / early 20s age range that’s so easy for some guys... and so problematic for others.

Make a Girl Chase Until She’s Hooked, Ripe, and Ready

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By: Chase Amante

make a girl chaseSeveral caveats about this article:

  1. This is reasonably advanced game. Don’t do it just yet if you’re new

  2. This is not ‘all the time’ game. It should not be your staple or go-to method

  3. I don’t advise you use it with girls you’re really into; it probably won’t work

Okay, so, this is a way to make a girl chase I generally call “putting her on the hook.” It’s where she’s hooked, she wants to see you, she’s excited to see you, and then you just... leave her there.

But not too long. Not long enough for attraction to expire or escalation windows to close. Thus, why it’s fairly advanced: you must be able to gauge where she’s at emotionally to use this style.

Then, once she’s ‘ripe’, you reel her in for a very straightforward date where you don’t really need to do anything more than kick back, hang out, and hook up.

If that sounds pretty good to you, then read on.