Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

The Natural Mindset: Taking More Pleasure from Hook Ups

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By: Chase Amante

Note before we get started: this one’s more for intermediate and up guys who are running into this issue. For guys who are beginners, stick with treating your interactions with women more “mechanistically” and breaking them down into bite-sized pieces and goals you’re trying to accomplish and milestones you’re trying to pass – you’ll learn a lot faster that way. Think of this article as “switching to natural... once you’re already fairly good.”

enjoying hooking upA reader named Robert writes in:

“I have a question, hope you guys can answer it for me!

I have pretty solid game, can get girls, move things forwards etc.. etc...

Where I stumble is in my own experience of the whole interaction-  MY attraction to HER! Is it because I’m not going for hot enough girls? I’ll get super turned on when the situation is still unclear, and sex is not guaranteed. But then once I am pretty sure it’s gonna happen, I will lead her to it, but my arousal is wayyy less than earlier/before the interaction.

My thoughts are I should try to escalate as I feel the tension, in slow, somewhat intense and subtle ways... focusing more on the vibe and staying with it. Or perhaps convince myself that sex is not guaranteed yet? Or is this a sign that I am simply trying to pump my own ego, and the attraction isn’t real to begin with?”

Ah, yes. An all too common issue of the developing seducer: why does reaching the point where she’s ready to go to bed with you kill all your interest in the sex?

The instant it’s unequivocally clear that yes, she DOES want to go to bed with you, and WILL go to bed with you – POOF! All the crazy desire you had to go to bed with her up until that point just vanishes.

Where did it go, and why does this happen?

How to Use Role-Playing While Talking with Girls

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By: Chase Amante

A tactic we’ve left off discussing much here previously is role-playing. It’s taught in the seduction community at large as an effective way for jazzing up your interactions with women, and I was exposed to it early on, with a wingman in 2006 who was a heavy user of the tactic.

My personal bone of contention with how it’s usually presented (and the reason I don’t typically talk about it) always was that so much of the role-playing I saw being taught – all of it, really – was routine-based; you had to memorize some specific form of role-play, and then remember to use that with women.

Too hard for a guy like me. Too annoying. Too stiff and unnatural. I’m supposed to memorize this big gambit and then find a way to squeeze it into conversation?

I watched my wing – otherwise a cool, likable, and sociable guy – squelch it into his conversations with women, and some women would play along but you could tell they were being sports about it, while other women would give him a skeptical look and proceed to have none of it. Routine-based role-playing was just awkward to try to make fit with a conversation that was anything short of perfect for that precise role-play.

role-playing with women

Yet, over time I’ve found myself using role-playing more and more, naturally and without a routine, yet with several underlying themes that guide my role-playing and help me do it naturally and place it where appropriate into the conversations I find myself in with women.

This fluid form of “emergent role-playing” is what I want to talk about with you today – how you can use role-playing in a natural way, that isn’t pre-scripted, yet follows certain guidelines to help you do some cool things with your conversations.

She Wants to Submit

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By: Chase Amante

she wants to submitIf you want a shortcut for understanding women instead of ripping your hair out at the roots because women don’t make any sense, think about a woman this way: she wants to submit.

Men know this, of course. But most men are not thinking about it correctly, as evidenced by the various complaints by men about women’s behavior on my old article “When Women Test Men.”

See, most guys are thinking about things like men do, which is in a rational problem-solving type way.

They look about themselves and see lonely women. And they see themselves – also lonely. Well, why don’t women just submit to them? Then both of their problems would be solved! The man would have the woman, and the woman would have the man.

The fact that women don’t do this is, to them, proof that women’s reasoning is flawed.

I mean, ask a woman to explain this, and really nail her down on it, and she can’t.

There, see? Irrational. Doesn’t make sense.

But it does make sense when you realize she cannot submit completely willingly to a man; she is not programmed that way. Even if she rationally wanted to submit to you because you have such well-reasoned qualities and stats, she cannot.

Why not, you ask?

Because women do not want to and cannot submit fully willingly under their own power.

You must make them submit.

Dealing with People Who Want You to “Prove Yourself”

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By: Chase Amante

prove yourselfThere’s little more frustrating than that guy demanding you prove yourself to him, or that girl challenging you to show her how badass you are.

It always feels uncomfortable and icky when people do this to you, but you may feel pressured to respond... or not feel like there are really any valid other options to do BUT prove yourself or look “disproved.”

And then, when you prove yourself? Either the other person dismisses your proof and tells you “Not good enough”, or you get the slow clap “I’m impressed” response that drives you nuts – either way this other person asserts his superiority.

For all you care, he could have commanded you to be a good monkey and dance, and you (unhappily) obliged.

Obviously, tap dancing on command isn’t the way to handle this one.

Instead, you must understand how to deal with it when it arises, and you must understand what prompts it in the first place.

She May be a Bitch to You… But She’s a Pussycat for Me

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By: Chase Amante

cool bitchIt’s forever been the mark of the man who’s reached the highest pinnacle of skill with women: a comfort, ease, and naturalness with them that few other men possess.

This comfort, ease, and naturalness extends to all sorts of women, too: quiet and inexperienced women, vivacious and dynamic women, temptresses and seductresses and nerdy schoolgirls alike.

And it even extends to bitches.

You know, those women whom most men chase after only until they catch them nose turning up toward their advances, then turn away in disgust and say, “I don’t like girls like her anyway.”

The beautiful ones, or even the not-so-beautiful ones, who nevertheless know how to make themselves seem to rank among the elite.

And what’s more... what’s truly inspiring or consternating to the ordinary man looking on (depending on whether he roots for his fellow man or wishes only to vanquish him)... is that, quite often, even the “bitches” love the lover of women right back.

Why is this so? What is it about this man that turns the women inaccessible to most men into playful, purring kittens?

And is this pinnacle one attainable by those more ordinary men who wish to summit it?

She’s Not So Socially Savvy – You Must Be It for Her

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By: Chase Amante

socially savvyThis one is not so much for beginners as it is for guys who are intermediate+. If you score “Journeyman” or higher on the diagnostic quiz, read on – otherwise, you can still read this one if you like to get a taste of what lies ahead, but after that you’ll probably want to file it away for later... it won’t apply to you just yet (but will a little later on).

No doubt you remember when you first started out with girls... it seemed like everyone around you was light years beyond you social calibration-wise.

And that was especially true of women.

At all times, they were 3 or 4 chess moves ahead: thinking ahead, planning ahead, and half the time you’d fall into weird social situations of others’ design that took you places you never intended or wanted to go. Ugh... irksome, bothersome, and really just kind of annoying.

When’s the last time that’s happened to you recently, though? If your answer – despite plenty of active socializing – is “it’s been a while”, you may have started realizing something else – that no longer are you playing social skills catch-up with the rest of the world, but they are playing it with you.

You’re a major league player to their little leagues by comparison.

What’s more, you’re beginning to realize that a lot of what you used to write off as “rudeness” and “aloofness” and girls “being bitchy” or “giving you the cold shoulder” in your earlier days were just plain old fashioned social awkwardness from women who didn’t know how to respond to you otherwise in a way that would both accomplish their objectives and not open them up to unnecessary social risk.

And if you really want to take your results and run with them, doing the same old stuff you did back when you were just starting out isn’t really going to fly anymore.

Don’t Talk About Fight Club and Take the Red Pill

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By: Chase Amante

An interesting thread, I noticed, had popped up on our discussion boards the other day, with guys hashing around about the “manosphere” and its various merits or drawbacks.

There were some comments about how a guy started out here on GC but went over to the “manosphere” because it suited him better. There were others from other guys talking about how they started out in the “manosphere” and ended up here and found this site to suit them better. And then there were some rather balanced posts discussing the various similarities and differences and strengths and merits of each.

I, though, would like to take a brief foray into exploring some of the mentality behind much of the most vocal and grating “red pill”-esque thought you will encounter, and that of its predecessor, “Fight Club”-esque thought; if you know what I’m talking about, then you either can’t stand it or you think it’s the best thing since sliced bread.

fight club red pill

If you’re not too familiar with the pickup community or the manosphere, this’ll be new but hopefully still interesting for you, from a “social dynamics within social hierarchies” standpoint. If you are familiar, it might give you something interesting to chew on.

Beating Your Girlfriend at Her Own Blame Game

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By: Chase Amante

blame gameIf you’re at all well-read or attentive on the subject of relationships, I’m sure you’ve noticed a ubiquitous trend: across cultures, across history, in nearly every relationship out there, women wear men down.

This used to be called ‘betaization’ in the seduction community, because it was the process of the male become the beta (#2) in the relationship to the female’s alpha (#1).

Give women time, and they pull this off with just about every guy.

Oh, sure, you see the exceptions – the guy who lords over his domain like a king, with a warm and doting long-term girlfriend or wife (or, sometimes, a submissive and cowering one).

But boy is it ever rare, rare, rare.

What makes it so rare? How is it that women so gradually and steadily work even the mightiest of men under their thumbs?

And if you’d like to remain the king of your castle... the lord of your domain... what can you do to prevent this – and how do you sidestep this taming process that nearly every man in a long-term relationship, given enough time, almost inevitably submits to?

How to Be Respected by Men and Women Alike

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By: Chase Amante

‘Respect’ is a thing we get a lot of questions on around here. Most regularly, how to command it. How do you make others respect you?

The easy answer is, you earn it. But that’s only half of the equation.

The other half is that you demand it.

how to be respected

Some will pay you respect you do not demand. But others will only respect you if you yank the respect out of their gullet with both hands.

And whenever someone has a problem with respect, it’s always because he’s lacking on one (or both) sides of the equation:

  1. He isn’t demanding respect, or
  2. He hasn’t earned it yet