Darius Belejevas joins us today for the fifth installment of the Girls Chase Podcast. Darius is a regular contributor to GirlsChase.com on the subject of fashion and style (you can read his articles here), and today he weighs in with more on these and other topics.
In today’s podcast, Darius and host Varoon Raja discuss:
Many
years back, I had dinner with a girl I’d recently just slept
with. We were both young and inexperienced; our date had been fun, but
the sex mediocre.
On this second date, we had a nice time, and chatted. I didn’t have much more time in town, and would be leaving soon. At the end of the meal, I invited her home.
At first she accepted, but then she stopped, mid-walk: “Wait, you’re leaving, right? You know what, I think I’m just going to go home.”
I didn’t fight it. I said okay and let her go. I’d be lying to say I wasn’t disappointed.
If you’ve been hooking up a while, you’ve no doubt experienced this too:
Sometimes she’s happy to sleep with you again and again once
first sex occurs
Other times, you sleep with her once, and that’s it
... and there isn’t always rhyme or reason to it either.
A girl you had a great date and phenomenal sex with may not call you back, and a girl you bumbled your way into the bedroom with and prematurely ejaculated in front of may fall all over herself to meet you again.
So what gives?
What’s it take to convert a girl you’ve slept with once into one you sleep with again and again?
One of the biggest obstacles for a lot of men when it comes to improving with women is fixating on the wrong thing.
Much of this seems to come from improper understanding of some of the raw basics of attraction.
When you see guys get hung up on one specific characteristic and blame that as the cause of all their woes with women, like the ones I discussed in “I Can’t Get Girls Because Girls Only Want [BLANK]”:
... it’s because they misunderstand attraction.
And when you see guys become (overly) obsessive about improving in one specific area, like muscles or wealth, it’s because they misunderstand attraction.
So how does attraction work?
Because surely, all these things have some impact on attraction... right?
But then, so do fundamentals.
And game.
So if all of them have some impact, then just how do these things all play together to affect a woman’s ultimate degree of attraction for you?
Recently had a discussion with one of our forum members about some odd behavior he was seeing from a former girlfriend who works in his office.
They’d had a friends with benefits relationship for about half a year, before she broke things off with him to enter a committed relationship with another man.
What confused him the most, however, was that this girl had seemed to like him more, yet she still went off to date the wrong guy anyway. Her new guy has some pretty big downsides, too: he’s jealous and controlling. He’s forbid his girlfriend from having any contact with her ex from our forum, and monitors her phone calls and texting.
What this forum member asked me was, “Why would she date this guy when she already had me?”
The answer, of course, was that he wasn’t available for the kind of relationship this girl needed – so even if he would’ve been her first choice for that role, he simply wasn’t an option she could choose from on the shelf.
I wasn’t always
a fan of anal sex.
Used to be that when girls asked me for it, my erection would disappear and I’d lose all interest in sex of any sort after that. I mean, gross. And in any event, her pussy’s right there; why would I want to stick it in her butt?
As I got older, I became less of a stick in the mud and decided to
give anal more of a chance. Eventually, I discovered that, done right, women
absolutely loved it, and soon I enjoyed it a fair
bit too.
The fear for her, that comes with accepting you into the wrong hole... the thrill she feels at doing something taboo... and the pure pleasure that comes with an opening packed to the brim with nerve endings swallowing up your manhood into it, its sanctity at the mercy of it... all these things contribute to the emotional and physical excitement of it for her.
And, if you’re executing anal sex technically correct, with an aim towards supplying anal orgasms, your member will be hitting her vagina from the other side, a truly intense and orgasmic experience.
As a man, there’s the sense that you’re dominating this woman in a way you’re not ‘supposed’ to do, and the sense that she is yielding her body to you in a way she hasn’t to too many (or perhaps any) other men. These things enhance the experience for her as well.
However, this article isn’t here to discuss the merits of anal sex (though I will cover that briefly towards the end) – I’m not here to ‘convert’ anybody.
If you’re reading this, I assume you’d like to know how to do it well, and not that you are recoiling at how gross it is (like I, well, used to).
So... let’s talk about giving her thunderous orgasms, through her back door.
DISCLAIMER: I did really try
to find some non-NC17 images for communicating the ‘position’ part to
you below, but found it next to impossible to locate any images showing
the position I wanted to show at all,
let alone any PG-13 ones. So, there are a couple of NSFW images near
the end of this post – you have been forewarned. Don’t read at the
cubicle, or
on the bench in the park by the local kindergarten.
You’re
at a night school class you share with a pretty girl you’ve
had your eye on.
The semester’s only halfway through, yet you have a feeling this girl
likes you, and you like her too. You’ve
chatted a few times, and sometimes you sit near her or next to her, but
not always.
One evening, your class lets out and she takes a long time to gather her belongings. Coincidentally (or not), two of you head out at the same time. You strike up a conversation with her on the way out, and she’s responsive, but the conversation quickly stalls out. She seems happy but nervous. You feel like she’s waiting for something. Then you think how awkward it would be if you asked her out and she said no, and now you’ve got to keep coming back to this class and it’d really suck if there was an awkward vibe between you and this girl you like.
So, you tell her well, anyway, you guess you’d better get going, and you peel off and head to your car. On the way home, you kick yourself for not asking her out.
There are some men out there this kind of thing never happens to – if they get a shot with a girl, they take it. They can’t even understand why this would even be a problem for guys.
For most guys though, this is something they’ve had happen once or twice (or thrice... or four times... or more times).
The difference between the man this doesn’t happen to, and the man it does, quite often, comes down to a difference in their general and specific social aptitudes.
I had an interesting conversation with one of our senior members on the discussion boards recently. He’d approached a girl, really hit it off with her, until at some point she told him she had a boyfriend and started resisting him more.
It wasn’t a question of value or attraction. This girl clearly liked him.
Instead, in this case, it was attainability that triggered her bringing up the boyfriend.
Now, I know there are a lot of folks reading who are going to say, “Well, hold the phone – maybe it was just that the girl has a boyfriend and she isn’t going to cheat on him!”
We’ll talk about that below. However, odds are, taking things at face value with women is usually a sign there’s something you’re not getting... not a sign she’s among the 2½% of women who says what she means and means what she says.
Today we’re serving up our fourth fantastic podcast interview, this time with Varoon Raja interviewing Girls Chase author Joseph W. South.
In today’s podcast, Joseph and Varoon discuss:
I recently addressed a thread on our discussion boards where a member
reported on a couple of women who seemed to initially like him, and
then backed off in a big way, telling him things like, “I’m just not
looking for this right now.”
He’d suspected the issue was he just wasn’t doing all that well at targeting women who were going to be receptive to him, but in this case, the actual issue was he was jumping the gun and expressing too much interest without her giving him a reason to yet.
And what happened next was the girl started feeling like something
was “off”.
As soon as that feeling comes up, you’re in bad shape.
And it isn’t always caused by missing a step here or there, either.
How
important is hair to attraction?
I didn’t pay it much mind the first few years I was out chatting up girls. I got my $12 Supercuts haircut, threw on some threadbare button-down shirts I still had from high school that were two sizes too large for me, a pair of basic jeans, and some chunky white sneakers or square-toed loafers.
And then I’d go out and talk to girls.
I got okay results. I’d get dates sometimes, and sometimes I’d sleep with a girl. Some girls really liked me. Because of this, I assumed these other things did not matter.
Later I realized I was handicapping myself though, and once I started experimenting a lot more with clothes and hair, I got better results.
How much better? It’s hard to say. Fashion and hair improved for me at the same time a bunch of other things did, which makes it tough apportioning out credit.
However, whether the difference it makes to your fundamentals is a 5% improvement or 15% one, this is a fairly straightforward 5% or 15% you can add to your attractiveness portfolio, and it’s one you shouldn’t miss.
