When a Girl Says She Feels "No Chemistry" (+ How to Fix)
If a girl feels there’s no chemistry with you, if she says there’s no spark, is it fate? Not at all; it’s SKILL, because “spark creation” can be learned.Contents
Articles by Author: Chase Amante
If a girl feels there’s no chemistry with you, if she says there’s no spark, is it fate? Not at all; it’s SKILL, because “spark creation” can be learned.Tactics Tuesdays: How to Turn Your Conversations Playful
Women will talk to you in polite or inquisitive but often boring ways. To make it flirtation, you must inject playfulness into your chat with a girl.Commenting on my article about dumbing yourself down to sleep with smart girls quicker, Jason H asks:
Hi Chase,
Any advice on transitioning conversation to more teasing/flirting in certain scenario's to make the dynamic more fun/seductive
- When she is focused on connection, but you want to inject some more teasing/flirting
- When she is focused on catching up/factual information such as how is this going, how are things at Y etc or other impersonal topics
- In group scenario's where it's more difficult to do this and you want to tease or flirt with a certain girlBasically asking about identifying cues and opportunities to inject a little more teasing & fun into conversations, or strategies to direct the conversation towards more fun in a socially skilled way.
Thanks!
Sure, let’s talk about this: how do you turn your conversations playful?
Essentially, when you’re dealing with girls who are trying to connect or extract facts out of you, meanwhile you are trying to make it a playful, flirtatious conversation, what you are dealing with is a frame battle. She wants to frame the conversation one way while you want to frame it another.
I want to touch on whether it’s necessary to seize control of the conversation this way – and what can happen if you do vs. if you don’t. Then we’ll talk making your conversations playful.
The Adaptive Mechanism Behind Birth Rate Decline: Is It Group Evolution?
Birth rates are falling around the world. Why? Also, what is the reproductive benefit to people having fewer children – or no children at all?I just read an article titled “Pets in Tokyo. The Plague.” In it, the author writes scathingly about Tokyo’s obsession with pets, the replacement of children with pets (there are more pets than children in Japan), and the obscene amounts of money Japanese spend on these surrogate children, instead of simply having children.
I’ve been utterly fascinated with the rapid spread of infertility and childlessness across the globe in recent decades.
Ubiquitously, across nearly all societies, even those with completely different cultures, governmental setups, and geopolitical alignments, birth rates are in freefall.
Any birth rate under 2.1 total births per women means a declining population; and the lower the birth rate, the faster the decline. As of 2024, the average total fertility rates of the various countries and regions were as follows:
- Iran: 2.0 total births per woman
- South America: 1.8 total births per woman
- Australia: 1.8 total births per woman
- Russia: 1.8 total births per woman
- United States: 1.7 total births per woman
- Western Europe: 1.5 total births per woman
- Japan: 1.4 total births per woman
- China: 1.2 total births per woman
- South Korea: 0.8 total births per woman
North Korea, South Korea’s bitter enemy and polar opposite, is at a mere total fertility rate of 1.9 births per woman.
Even sub-Saharan Africa, that bastion of resistless procreation, has seen its fecundity slide in recent years, from 6.5 total births per woman in 1980 to a comparably meager 4.5 in 2022.
The interesting question here, though, is what is the mechanism?
Stop Repelling People with Your Uncharitable Assumptions
People often make uncharitable assumptions about each other. But when you do this, and tell the other person, you tear your relationship with him or her to shreds.A few years back I wrote an article about the trouble autistic men have in dating. In it I also talked about my experience as a coach trying to work with autistic men and how fiendishly difficult it is.
(autistic reader trigger warning: I was very blunt in that article, because in my experience dealing with autistic men this is the only way to communicate effectively. Delicacy leads to large and frustrating misunderstandings. Some autistic readers found that blunt article enlightening; others found it depressing. If you’re sensitive, you’ll likely be better off reading my forum thread on practical tips & success stories from autistic men)
One of the things I mentioned in that article was the frequency with which I have found autistic men make ‘uncharitable assumptions’ in conversations with me. I’ve seen it with so many different autistic men that I assume this is probably a normal behavior for them, which they’re likely doing with other people too.
In fact, I think this behavior alone is probably the cause of a large number of autistic men’s falling outs with people. While it’s a small behavior, it’s really, really aggravating.
Autistic men aren’t the only ones who are guilty of this, either. ADHD men do this often too. Any guy who speaks before he empathizes, really, can be guilty of this.
In this article, I’m going to introduce you to this concept, which I am certainly not the first to identify (indeed, there are proverbs around this going back to antiquity), but I’m going to highlight it in ways you probably haven’t thought about before – and hopefully save you from burning some bridges and melting down some relationships with inadvertent rudeness.
Secrets to Getting Girls: Positive Reference Experiences
The man who excels with women is the one who possesses enough very positive reference experiences with them. These SHAPE his mind & behavior toward women!Want to know an absolutely ENORMOUS secret behind every guy who’s successful with women?
The BIG secret behind guys who are ‘naturals’ who effortlessly clean up with women… and the guys who go on to be über-successful self-taught ladies men?
The single biggest secret, in fact, to rapidly progressing with women, even from the point of being a pure beginner?
Here it is:
The secret is positive reference experiences.
The more positive reference experiences you can build, the faster you build them, the more STRONGLY positive they are, and the higher a proportion of the feedback you’re receiving from women those positive experiences comprise, the faster you’ll progress to doing scarily well with girls.
