Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Harvey Weinstein, Gropocalypse, and the #MeToo Campaign

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Gropocalypse and #MeeToo
The roiling Harvey Weinstein Hollywood sex scandal was caused by a unique mix of perversion, sexual power dynamics, and the twilight of feminism.

In late 2017, The New York Times broke a story on Harvey Weinstein paying off sexual harassment accusers. A few choice excerpts:

[A]fter being confronted with allegations including sexual harassment and unwanted physical contact, Mr. Weinstein has reached at least eight settlements with women, according to two company officials speaking on the condition of anonymity. Among the recipients, The Times found, were a young assistant in New York in 1990, an actress in 1997, an assistant in London in 1998, an Italian model in 2015 and Ms. O’Connor shortly after, according to records and those familiar with the agreements.

...

The allegations piled up even as Mr. Weinstein helped define popular culture. He has collected six best-picture Oscars and turned out a number of touchstones, from the films “Sex, Lies, and Videotape,” “Pulp Fiction” and “Good Will Hunting” to the television show “Project Runway.” In public, he presents himself as a liberal lion, a champion of women and a winner of not just artistic but humanitarian awards.

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Dozens of Mr. Weinstein’s former and current employees, from assistants to top executives, said they knew of inappropriate conduct while they worked for him. Only a handful said they ever confronted him.

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After she arrived, he offered to help her career while boasting about a series of famous actresses he claimed to have slept with.

...

“She said he was very persistent and focused though she kept saying no for over an hour,” one internal document said. Ms. Nestor, who declined to comment for this article, refused his bargain, the records noted. “She was disappointed that he met with her and did not seem to be interested in her résumé or skill set.”

Not long after, a recording broke of a 2015 NYPD sting investigation, in which Weinstein can be heard trying to cajole a 22-year-old Italian model up to his hotel room:

Gropocalypse and #MeeToo
Weinstein and Ambra Battilana Gutierrez, the model he attempted to get up to his hotel room.

Rose McGowan accused Weinstein of rape. Stories surfaced of him cornering women and making them watch him masturbate (once into a pot in a restaurant kitchen). And then the dam burst. To-date, 91 actors, producers, and other members of Hollywood have been accused of sexual impropriety, courtesy the #MeToo campaign. Women, en masse, have come forward with accusations against men – particularly men who held power over them.

Why this time, though? There have always been sexual accusations against powerful figures. Bill Clinton, Tiger Woods, Michael Jackson, Bill Cosby, Donald Trump... just to name a few of the most prominent ones. Some of the accusations swirling around these figures are worse than anything alleged against Weinstein; Cosby is accused of drugging women to rape them. Many of the varied claims made against Clinton over the years sound like something out of a B-level political thriller, with all the rape, murder, and coverups you can dream of.

Yet despite all the controversies around and accusations leveled at powerful political and media figures, the dam never broke before. But this time it did. Why now? What does this ‘Gropocalypse” and its #MeToo campaign tell us about men, women, and sexual power dynamics in the professional spheres?

Gratitude is Attractive (So Tell Her Thank You!)

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gratitude attractive
Gratitude is a strong signifier of a socially calibrated individual. Not only does it help your interactions, but it increases your attractiveness, too.

This Thanksgiving, I figured I’d talk about gratitude.

One of the tools I’ve long used offhand to gauge someone else’s level of social calibration is whether and when he says thank you for things.

“Thank you” is a powerful phrase. It can be used to build bonds, to reward, or even to manipulate. Its absence can rub people the wrong way and cause them to see you as ungrateful and uncalibrated. It can raise your attainability, used right, or plummet it, if it isn’t given when it’s expected.

Beyond its effect on others, your use of gratitude affects you too. Thanking others reminds you you aren’t on your own; that you are part of a society, aiding others and being aided in turn.

In this article, we’ll focus on the effects on others when you use – or forget to use – gratitude.

But don’t forget the power it has to make you feel good too. Giving thanks for what you’re grateful for pays its own great dividends.

Tactics Tuesdays: 5 Ways to Make Her Not Feel Slutty About Sex

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she feels slutty
Sometimes you go for intimacy, but a girl stops you because she feels slutty. There are 5 major ways to help her past this: adventure, sexual expertise, urgency, and more.

This is an old request from the GC topics queue – it goes back about four years or so. A reader (who happened to have attended my alma mater) had this to ask:

Hey Chase, this was an absolute mind boggling article, gave a new perspective to things. Anyway, recently I went on a date to a local bar, Cafe 210 in State College if you know it. We stayed there had a few drinks and then I pulled her back to my place. I then made my move. I had her shirt and bra off, and then refused to take her pants off, and I tried everything to get them off but failed. She had the vibe that she was trying not to be slutty/easy, and was could tell she was experienced. This has happened several times to me with other girls. Im assuming I’m in BF territory, but any advice on making girls not feel slutty/easy would be great.

You might think at first this is just a last-minute resistance issue. And you can treat it as such. However, if it is a pattern, where you encounter this repeatedly when you get women alone, it’s more than just LMR. The LMR is only a symptom of the overall problem. Girls feeling slutty about sex around you is the root.

If you can make a woman feel comfortable being sexual with you, you will not face this obstacle. Sure, a girl may still resist sex with you for any one of a number of other reasons... you may not have turned her on enough, the environment may not be conducive to it, or any of myriad other possibilities may be the case.

However, if you remove the “she feels slutty about sex” issue, this reason for resistance goes away.

And it should be noted here that this goes beyond any boyfriend considerations. That’s because if she does not see you as a boyfriend, but she still feels like it’d be slutty or too easy to sleep with you, she will resist sleeping with you. And meanwhile, even if she does see you as a boyfriend, if she feels like she can hop into bed with you and it won’t affect how you see her or her prospects with you (and she has no other reservations about intimacy with you), she will hop right into bed with you.

The key, of course, is you must remove the ‘too easy’, ‘too slutty’ objection, first.

How to Use "Grand Master Style" to Rack Up Scads of Lays

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GM style
GM style: a crass, irreverent, and utterly hilarious way to make women horny, excited... and ready to hop in bed quick.

In 1999, an American expat in Paris named Nathan Szilard commented online about a talented natural seducer in a bar he kept running into:

There’s that guy -- looks like an heroin addict, looks fortyish (but might be younger), dressed in black and/or like shit, skinny, tall, wrinkled, never smiles ... and gets laid like a rock star.

One day, at that bar – the same place Nathan always spied this guy – he chatted up a pair of girls. Suddenly, the guy showed up, flashed Nathan an amused grin, and swooped in to talk with the cuter of Nathan’s two girls.

Two minutes in, the guy asked someone for a pen and paper and took the girl’s phone number.

Five minutes in, Nathan excused himself to the washroom... and walked in on the guy and his girl making out with their hands all over each other.

Impressed and amazed, Nathan dubbed this guy the ‘Grand Master’... or ‘GM’ for short. And over the next year or so, Nathan Szilard befriended and worked to decipher the game of this guy he dubbed ‘GM’.

Note: If you are a beginner dater, probably don’t try to use GM style. You risk awkward creepiness if you botch your delivery. Focus on less edgy stuff first. For the more advanced guys (or the still-curious beginners), read on...

One of Nathan’s earliest analyses of GM style was this:

Hm trying to recollect what I forgot to mention in my earlier post.

He makes it clear right away that he wants sex. He explained it to me. He does not really understand what is going on, me thinks.

He does not compliment.

I explained him the concept of neg hit; he disagreed ... YET HE DOES IT ALL THE TIME. Well, it’s not NEGs, it’s more like ‘vannes’ as I explained once, that’s to say, taking the piss on her. So he fucked that German yesterday, and before that, made a few (light) jokes about Germans, then ‘apologized’ by hugging/kissing her.

He takes every opportunity to go kino [touch]. I’ve already mentioned that.

He claims that he does not act the same with every woman. I asked him about some place that’s packed with model-types full-bitch-shielded types, how do you handle that I asked, and he said, “You don’t get it, you don’t do the same thing there, I’ll explain you later.”

He asks boring questions, name, job, then joke on it, and when I say JOKE, I mean FUCKING LAME jokes.

To a German: “you speak German really well!”
To a Japanese: “you speak Japanese really well!”
To an Italian: “you speak Italian really well!”

Original, heh? And on top of that he said it several times to the same girl. “You really speak German well! LOL “.

For a time, Grand Master style (or GM style), a method of strong sexual direct jokes, chase frames, and sexual intent, became one of the most popular methods in the pick up artist (PUA) community, alongside Mystery Method and Gunwitch Method.

These days it’s largely forgotten.

But it shouldn’t be. It’s a different, fresh, and highly irreverent approach to bedding girls in a hurry – and the Grand Master still has lots to teach.

The Easiest Way to Get a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend

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By: Chase Amante

how to get a girl to be your girlfriend
You may think you have to ask a girl to be your girlfriend. But there’s an easier way to get a girl to be your girlfriend than this. It centers on behavior over words.

You’ve got a girl you’re into, and you’d like to get her to be your girlfriend. The time you spend together is great. You think about her all the time when you’re not with her. And you know she likes you too. But... does she like you enough to be your girlfriend?

You’d like to know how to ask a girl to be your girlfriend in a way that minimizes the chance she rejects you. You don’t want her to say “no” or “let’s keep this casual for now.” So what do you do?

Most of the advice you’ll see out there will tell you to ask her outright at some point. “Just ask!” or “Just pop the question!” But this advice misunderstands a simple fact about the way girls work: the emotions and behavior must come first... the words come later.

This article works within that framework – one where you get the emotions and behavior right first, and add the words (and official boyfriend-girlfriend status) in after.

Follow the simple steps below, and you stand a very good chance to turn the girl you’d like to be your girlfriend into a girl who is your girlfriend.

The Beauty, Greatness, and Goodness of Female Moral Nature

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female moral nature
Female morality can seem alien to men – and men fear what they do not understand. Yet the moral woman can be man’s greatest lover and supporter… if he is willing to be a moral man.

Note: this article is part of a discussion on female morality among experts who view the subject through different lenses. In this article, Part 2, Chase Amante discusses the perspective of women as operating under a different, complementary moral system to that of men.

We published an article by Hector this Monday that ruffled a lot of feathers. Its title was Women Do Not Care About Morality. The premise of the article was that women’s morality revolves around what is best for their biological strategy – their morality comes in service of S+R, in other words. Survival and replication. Hector did not intend it as a dark piece, but many readers got that out of it. I wrote this article to cover the same subject – yet in a slightly different light.

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Since I started dating, over the past dozen years, I have seen women do crazy things.

I had sex bareback with a very sexy girl in a white, ornate dress on our first date. She was already a little buzzed when we met up and was carrying a cup filled with wine when we met. The white dress was odd, but nothing unusual about it struck me... until I got a phone call from the husband I didn’t know she had, and discovered her wedding to him had been, well, roughly sometime right around the night I had sex with her. I deduced I had been intimate with her in what I then realized must have been her wedding dress. The husband lived across the country and I guess flew in for the wedding then flew back out that day. Did I hike up the bride’s wedding dress and take her from behind on her wedding night? I didn’t ask the guy for specific dates; he was clearly in a lot of pain (again, I had no idea this girl was married, and it did not register to me she was in a wedding dress – just not something you expect a girl to show up in on a date, so it doesn’t really even process). But it seemed like, yes, that was probably her wedding night.

Later on, I reunited with an ex-girlfriend. She had already begun to date another man while we were split... yet when we reconciled, she neither told me about her new boyfriend, nor broke it off with him. Yet I suspected there was someone else. A few months in, she grew pregnant. I immediately expressed doubt the child was mine; she swore she had been with no one else. “We’ll see what the paternity test says,” I told her. She became deeply stressed, then miscarried; we split back up. I got the full details on her other man – and that she’d slept with both of us on the likely date of conception – when I happened by chance upon her journal months later. Which man fathered the child? I doubt I’ll ever know.

Years after that, another ex-girlfriend of mine befriended a then-current girlfriend I had. On the surface, my former girlfriend masqueraded as a very good, loyal friend to my then-current girlfriend. But she whispered all sorts of things into my girlfriend’s ear: Chase is not handsome. Chase does not have good career prospects. Chase is a selfish lover. Chase this. Chase that. You should break up with Chase. Chase is completely wrong for you. Chase will destroy your life. According to my girlfriend, 90% of what this ex-girlfriend told her about me was bad. It caused drama to spike in the relationship and brought us very close to breaking up. At the same time she whispered terrible nothings into my present girlfriend’s ear, this ex-girlfriend sent me secret messages to meet up, kissed me when I met her, cried over me, and invited me home to her apartment to renew our relationship. It was clear what her game was: get Chase’s current girl to break up with him, and get Chase all to herself. She had always been the sweetest, most warm-hearted girl in the world, and to see her lie and manipulate my girlfriend to separate her from me, so this ex-girlfriend could have me to herself again, surprised even me... and I was quite grizzled in the ways of women at this point.

You may be thinking “Chase must date low class women.” Or perhaps Chase’s women are sluts. Yet, each of these girls had a post-college education. Each had a well-paying professional job. Each of the girlfriends had relatively low sex partner counts when we started dating. These were normal, quality, classy girls (well, the first chick – the bride – she was a little kooky).

To men, this stuff can seem shocking. It may seem like women are rough, depraved... immoral.

Yet there is another side of female morality. A side that is downright pristine.

A side that, once you get past the shocking aspects of women not being Disney princesses, can hearten them to you, with all the warmth, affection, and care a man outside the Matrix can muster.

This side is the true beauty and goodness of the real female moral nature.

Tactics Tuesdays: Go with a Wingman or Roll Solo?

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wingman vs. solo
You’re about to go out and meet girls. But should you go with a wingman or just roll solo? 8 reasons solo is good and 8 reasons a wingman is.

You’re new, but you’re excited. You’re ready to go out and meet new girls. But it seems a little scary, and you’re not sure how to start. One of your biggest questions: go out with a wingman, or go it alone?

We’ve discussed both solo and wingmanning before on Girls Chase. Both are very different approaches, and each offers its own advantages and disadvantages.

Today’s article is a direct comparison between the two. Should you roll solo to meet new girls? Or is it better to take a wingman along?

When you’re new to chatting up girls, this can be one of your big decisions: whether you head out alone or find someone to go with you. Yet even if you’re more experienced, odds are (if you’re like most men) you’ll have settled into one particular style... either you always/usually roll out alone, or you always/usually roll out with a wing. This may be the style you’re comfortable with – but it may not be the style that serves you best.

We’ll pick apart the nuances of wingmanning vs. going stag here, and help you better decide which style to use for what occasion.

Should You Regularly Ping Text Girls Who've Eluded Your Dates?

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ping girls for dates
If she eludes your dates, it can feel tempting to ping her regularly to make sure she doesn’t forget you. Yet there are better follow-up strategies than this.

A reader writes in:

Chase,

First off, I really value your dating advice; it’s rooted in logic and psychology and that’s how I operate.  It resonates in a big way with me.

So my scenario/question...

There is this one girl.

I’ve known her for about 2 years, but we never hooked up because one of us has always been in a relationship.  I own an organic juice bar and she actually came into the store the other day.  Attraction was definitely strong and she extended her number to me.

We went on a date a few days later; local, food, drinks and just established rapport and comfort.  Of course my end game was to get intimate with her, but it didn’t happen.  I was sort of bummed.  No good night kiss?  I can’t remember the last time that happened.  After the date we texted and I asked if I could call her and I did.  We basically stayed on the phone for almost 2 hours, sort of continuing the date convo.

I asked her on the phone, “Why no kiss?”.  She mentioned that she is shy, that she is attracted to me, the fact that I was on antibiotics for strep throat (day 6) bothered her a bit.  We also talked about how she is a bit messed up from an ex and that recently, she was actually falling for someone hard and chased him but it didn’t work out because he doesn’t want a girlfriend.

I’ve been trying to set up date 2 but it hasn’t happened yet.  I’m just keeping the texts short, direct, nonchalant, non predictable non needy, etc.

I really think she is just hung up on this guy (the one she was recently intimate with and doesn’t want a girlfriend) and after some time I’ll be able to meet her again and put the moves on her.  I’m confident once we’re intimate she will be chasing me.

However, I am by no means not seeing other girls.  I always keep about 3-4 in the rotation so I’m not lonely on a Thursday, Friday, or Saturday night.

MY QUESTION – Texting is such low effort as is Instagram and DM and things of that nature.  Is it ok to use these methods once in awhile to keep a “girl in the loop”?  I feel that timing is everything sometimes and this may be a method to grab her attention at the most opportune time.  What are your thoughts on this?  I’m not sitting home pining over her.  I just feel like the end goal is so close within reach and don’t want to completely give up.  If this is a viable method for achieving my end goal what would you recommend?  Frequency, context, things of that nature?

Thanks you for you time!

This is a great question. You get some progress with a girl, it feels like it’s close, but then it doesn’t happen. She doesn’t come out on dates, but she still responds to your messages.

So the question is: do you ping her from time to time to see if she’s available and changed her mind? Or do you not? And if you do, how often?

"Girls Only Want Good-Looking Guys or Young Guys"

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girls only want young guys
The most attractive thing to women is neither youth nor beauty. So why do so many guys think girls only want good-looking guys or young guys?

Okay, I want to talk about the “girls only date good-looking guys” or “girls only date young guys” thing. I have more intellectual articles against these positions and I’ll share them with you in a moment. But intellectual arguments aren’t always the best way to get the message across, especially when guys are deep in a certain viewpoint.

First let me share a comment from a reader of my “When Do You Get Too Old to Party or Meet Girls?” article from last week:

Keep deluding yourself that youll be more attractive to women as you get older. I have never heard a younger woman say Kevin Spacy or Sean Connery was “hot.” Only older women. Women in the past had to settle down with older men because they didnt have the means of supporting themselves. Thats it. If she had the choice and the income theres no way she would choose him over a younger guy. Plus, do you think its right that older men had relationships and children with teenage girls? Its a pretty messed up system because a girl hasnt even lived her life, and you know if the girl could support herself theres no way she would go for that older man6. Girls go for older men because of convenience, not because of attraction.

To which I responded with a screen grab of a bunch of young chicks swooning over Old Man Connery on Yahoo Answers, plus a picture of Sean having a merry laugh:

Sean Connery sexy to younger women

There are loads of men everywhere, including in the West, which is an environment more shifted in favor of younger men than anywhere else on Earth, who remain very attractive to younger women even into quite old age. And there are loads of men everywhere, including in the West, which is an environment more shifted in favor of good-looking men than anywhere else on Earth, who are very attractive to women despite plain or terrible faces. This is undeniable. The only way you can pretend these men don’t exist is if you plug your ears and shut your eyes and make loud noises to yourself every time one of these guys crosses your path.

But this willful blindness/ignorance guys engage in about this subject runs deeper than just “I don’t think that ever happens or if it does it must be super rare.” It’s actually about guys with zero or very little experience with women, who do not understand women, trying to tell men with lots of experience with women who understand women very well that actually those men have no idea what they are talking about and in fact women are actually some other way.

The guys who say stuff like this are never guys you would take woman advice from in the real world. From 30 feet away you can tell these guys don’t do well with girls and don’t understand them.

I’m not trying to pick on these guys. There are a lot of men who don’t understand women, and it’s always been that way historically. Women are hard to fathom. This entire website is dedicated to helping men who don’t understand women come to have a better understanding of them.

But when you get guys who do not understand women trying to talk about how they know women so well and that actually all these things that are commonplace things that happen with women are in fact impossible and never happen, you get this weird bizarro world perspective on dating emanating from certain corners of the male sectors of the Internet.

And we need to talk about that.

How to Plan a Party that Makes You Friends and Gets You Girls

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how to plan a party
The party lifestyle can pay lots of dividends in friends, fun, and women. To plan a great party requires your focus on 5 key areas: people, angle, and more.

We've had guys on Girls Chase asking me for years for a party planning guide that will help guys make awesome friends and meet beautiful girls. Most of the women I meet I meet via cold approach (i.e., I see a girl I like wherever, so I just go talk to her). And most of my friends I've met either via other friends or from forums (often private forums) I participate on.

However, there was a time I used to throw parties. Great parties, exclusive parties, with high status men and beautiful women.

Sometimes I threw big parties, with hundreds of people in attendance. And more often I threw smaller soirees with 25 to 40 people (which are generally easier to manage and better to connect with people at... and hook up at).

I didn't start off good at party planning. The first party I threw, a Halloween house party a few days before the holiday (back in 2007), saw a total of four people show up: one close friend of mine at the time, who flew down from Chicago for what he thought would be a legendary bash, and three random guys sent there by some girl I'd asked to come (she didn't come, but she sent some dudes I didn't know over. First rule of party planning: random dudes showing up = not ideal). This after I'd spent weeks preparing for the party – my decorations were awesome! – and loads of cash on drinks, candy, and other snacks. My friend, myself, and the three random dudes ended up heading to a bar after about 40 minutes when no one else showed up.

I spent the next 3.5 years going to every party I could and picking the brains of the party planners before I felt confident enough to try another party of my own. And once I did start to throw my own parties, unlike that first attempt these parties were hits.

What I learned along the way, from first flop to final bash, was how to plan a party a lot more people showed up to... for, in general, a lot less work.

This is my guide to that. And while it will be easier than what I did in 2007 for that go-nowhere bash, it'll still be some work – don't think this will be a cake walk.

It's going to be work. But if you want to build the kinds of parties that make all your wildest party dreams come true, and be the man of the hour yourself, you're going to want to build them yourself, too.