Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Treat Your Woman Well, but Don't be a Doormat

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By: Chase Amante

don't be a doormat
If you let a woman run slipshod over you, she will. But how do you keep control without being controlling?

I treat women well.

I give them phenomenal connection, great conversation, and scream-out-loud sex. I have a good sense of humor, possess a knack for solving pretty much any problem, no matter how intractable, and I look good and present well to women’s friends and family (when it comes time for that).

I also give a woman I’m with a fair amount of autonomy – within reason. But I do require women to be good partners, and to hold to the things I hold women in relationships to.

Once I had a girlfriend who liked to probe and test ask me if I wanted to try an open relationship. “You mean, you date other people, and I date other people, and also still date each other?” I asked. She said yes. “So you mean like I could go get a really hot and loyal girlfriend, and you’d be shagging a bunch of other dudes or whatever, and we could both do that.” She said yes again. “Okay, cool. But wait, why would I continue to date you then?” I asked. She explained well this way we could still see each other but we could also see other people. “Why wouldn’t I just date other women just as pretty, fun, and awesome as you whom I do not have to share with other men?” I asked.

You might wonder what happened next. Was she forced to repress a desire she had for an open relationship? Did she secretly engage in an open relationship behind my back? Did she accept my position, submit, and become a devoted girlfriend? In this article, we’re going to talk about how women react when you put your foot down on things; when you deny requests they claim they want.

There’s nothing wrong with open relationships if that’s your thing, of course. I’m not against them for other people. I just use this as an example of a girl testing to see how far she could expand her liberties with me before I put my foot down.

Every woman will do this with you. It’s not a matter of respect or disrespect. Nor is it a matter of how free she is in the relationship – even if you give her unprecedented freedom in the relationship, she will still test you to see if she can get more freedom (or to get you to do more free stuff for her).

This is an important concept to understand with women.

Attraction is Either There, or It Isn't

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By: Chase Amante

attraction is there or it isn't
Attraction is there at the beginning, or it never fully shows up to the same extent. What determines attraction – and why can’t you ‘create’ it?

This is going to be a weird article for some readers.

On the one hand, I’m going to challenge some basic assumptions you may have. But on the other hand, not really.

If you’ve read here a while, you’ve seen me comment that attraction is either there or it isn’t; you cannot ‘create’ or ‘build’ attraction. Though if you read enough of my articles, you can probably find instances of me using the phrase ‘create attraction’ or ‘build attraction’ to talk about something I’m suggesting you do. This article is about what, exactly, it is you cannot ‘create’ or ‘build’... and what other thing(s) you can build/create. Along the way, as we go, I hope you will discover some new ways of looking at attraction that lets you better use it in your courtships with women.

To get away from the confusion, in this article I will divide the thing we commonly call attraction into two (2) discrete daughter elements:

  • Fascination, and
  • Excitement

How these two play off each other throughout a courtship will be our focus today.

Tactics Tuesdays: Don't Tell Her Why Not to Sleep with You

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By: Chase Amante

why not to sleep with you
If she starts trying to convince herself to go with you or sleep with you, should you correct her if she says things about you that aren’t true?

The inspiration for this post came from the exchange Davi shares of a scenario where he was just about to sleep with a girl he’d brought back home... Until he talked her out of it:

Girl: Look, I’ve got to go to work quite early in the morning...

Davi: Well, I’ll take care of it, don’t worry!

Girl: Oh yeah, you can take me with your car when you go to your regular work, right? Then, yeah I can stay.

Davi: I can call you an Uber. But no, I don’t own a car, and it’s just a student job, haha.

Girl: Really? Hmm... oh... mmm... then I think I should go home now.

At which point she left.

I’ve been here. I remember at one point a girl had asked me to swing by her friends’ place so she could pick up her cell phone. Finally, both of us in my car, she agreed to go back to my place with me, and was talking about how she’d get home in the morning. Then I said, kind of thinking out loud, “Oh wait, we still need to get your phone from your friends,” and she said oh yeah, I have to get that.

So, we drove to her friends’ house, there was an after party going on there, she ended up wandering off and making out with some other guy she knew there for a while, while I stood around awkwardly having drinks and trying to act natural and talk with her friends, until at last the girl I’d come with passed out on a couch, and I gave up and went home alone.

Shouldn’t have reminded her about the phone and just had her pick it up in the morning. Whoops.

All I had to do in that scenario – and all Davi had to do here – was keep my mouth shut.

I just couldn’t help myself though. I had to talk her out of sleeping with me.

Hotter Women are Subtler (and Hook Up Less)

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By: Chase Amante

hot women are subtle
As a woman’s beauty increases, so too does her subtlety… while her number of sex partners falls. Do you recognize the signs beautiful women give you?

Recently I found myself in an unfamiliar part of a familiar town. Kind of on the outskirts. And something stuck out at me: the women here were, on average, less attractive than the women in the city center I usually frequent. More unattractive women, and more women who were only somewhat cute; fewer knockout stunners. But the approach invitations I received were much more blatant.

Whereas in the city center, I might sense a girl glance at me, then turn toward her and she’d already have looked away, brushing back her hair as she did... now, in the outskirts, I’d sense a girl look at me, turn toward her, and she’d keep her eyes trained right on mine. Whereas in the usual part of town, a beautiful girl might come hover somewhat near me, now cute (but not beautiful) girls would walk up and position themselves blatantly next to me. The difference was plain as a tree on a hilltop.

This is something I’ve noticed, come to think of it, on the outskirts of other familiar towns as well. The girls on the outskirts are often not quite as cute, but they are more obvious. I never expressly equated outskirts with less cute, more obvious girls before, but when I look back, it’s often been the case that a good chunk of the ‘easy venues’ I have on tap are located on the outskirts of town. These are venues where the girls you meet will be cute or pretty but not stunning, but they make up for it by being more obvious in their interest and less coy to your approach.

There are other factors likely at play on the outskirts; girls in the city center are in more of a hurry, are busier, and pay less attention to those around them, for one. They also tend to be more status conscious, which means any too-obvious signals carry more risk for them. They are also more ambitious, which means more careful screening of interested men. Girls in the outskirts are less hurried and have more time to check out and throw signals at men, and less status-risk to worry them. They’re also less interested in screening you, and more interested in whether you can provide a fun time or not.

Yet even accounting for factors like this, all other things being even, there remains a clear attractiveness-obviousness correlation; the less attractive the girl, the more obvious she makes her signals.

The less cute a girl is (or, at least, the less hot she is), the more blatant are her signals. Also, not only are more attractive women less aggressive; they’re subtler, too. The cuter a girl gets, the more coy she gets.

Which makes sense, of course... When you’re more in-demand, you can hold out for a better deal. You can play more coy. When you’re not as in-demand, you must chase down the deals yourself, and no longer have the luxury to hang back and wait for the ones you want to come to you.

But does this mean beautiful women are out of most men’s grasps?

Tactics Tuesdays: The Bonding Phone Call

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By: Chase Amante

bonding phone call
The bonding phone call lets you build a stronger emotional connection with a girl you’ve just met. If you need a boost before the date, this is it.

In a comment under my article on over-the-top romanticness, Sadeqh asks about the bonding phone call:

“Hi chase

Salut you for your ethereality that makes dating life more valuable.

I have to know what you do mean when you say bonding phone call because you haven’t really opened it yet not in your records on GC nor I could found it in your inscriptions anywhere else.

It’s like a lost necessary fragment that could fill the time you wouldn’t make a date because you are away or have not yet handled the logistics for reasons.

What’s better to say how to do it and other stuff related you could teach performing it jovial.

Mania è Dementica, Sadeqh”

Sadeqh is correct, this is something I’ve referred to here and there, but not described to any great detail.

What is a bonding phone call? It’s a phone call in which your objective is the creation of a stronger emotional bond with a girl. Your chief aim with a bonding phone call is to make yourself more familiar, more trustworthy, and more comfortable to her. A secondary aim will be to make her (sexually) excited about you.

How do you do it, how is it executed, and what does it look like? Step inside and let me show you.

Be the Lightbringer: Dating and the Sublime Benefits of Positivity

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By: Chase Amante

dating positivity
Jadedness and cynicism can go hand-in-hand with the playboy lifestyle. But they don’t need to; it’s more effective to bring light.

Sometimes I encounter a funny problem with guys.

Their fundamentals are in good shape. They have reams of passive value and are all around attractive men, if you go by appearances.

And they’re great on the technical / social aspect of meeting women. Their game is tight, they move confidently through the seduction process, and they have great technique.

Yet they have this nagging issue where they consistently fail to get results they want.

Maybe they get laid, but not with the girls they want. Or they get the girls they want, but they won’t hang around. Or maybe they do everything right, they think, but women reject them far too much.

It’s bizarre, because everything looks good on paper with the guy. But he just isn’t doing all that great.

Then you get to know the guy a bit better and you figure it out: oh. He’s negative.

It’s just a little mindset difference. Negative vs. positive. Wouldn’t think it’d have much impact on your dating success, right? But it does – it has a large influence.

Today we’re going to examine why.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Get Laid When You Have Roommates

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By: Chase Amante

get laid when you have roommates
How do you sleep with a girl when you have a roommate? There are two (2) scenarios: housemates, and roommates… And there exist strategies for each.

This is a question we get a lot on these parts: how do I sleep with girls when I have a roommate?

I’ve done enough hooking up with girls in places where I’ve had housemates, or even full-on roommates (i.e., someone who sleeps in the same room as you). While I usually prefer to have my own place or go to the girl’s place, it’s been my experience that roommates can actually make it easier for you to sleep with new women... I’ll tell you the reasons why in just a minute.

Caveat: this entire article is predicated on you not having totally lame cockblock roommates. If your roommates are lame pricks who don’t get laid and want to do everything in their power to make sure you don’t get laid either, then either change your living situation, or get good at going back to girls’ places or sleeping with girls in less conventional settings.

Assuming your roommates are at least marginally cool people whom we can get to play along with helping their bro get a new girl in the sack (or at least, they’re folks we can get to not interfere), let’s examine some strategies to help you bed babes in spite of your living situation.

Will Women Date You If You Have a Small Penis?

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By: Chase Amante

small penis
What do you do if you have a small penis? Does size actually matter to women? See what the science says… And how to stop worrying about this.

In “Men are Penetrators. Women are Receivers”, Pedro García requests:

“Chase,

It would be greatly appreciated if you did an article on penis size. I know that it seems pretty random(or maybe it’s seeing the word penetrate a lot in this article) but I think that it’s a topic that needs to discussed... Please craft something of that nature in the future. Thank you!”

And in “How Can I Get to the Sex Part?”, a reader named PH asks, in part:

“Could you do an article on penis size? I was thinking a lot of guys have an average size penis because average is average so how does that compare to guys who have bigger ones v smaller ones for seducing a girl or a relationship.

My biggest hang up is having a relationship with a girl who has been with a bigger-package guy and I can’t compete because she can never feel it as much as the other guy so she’ll never have as good a time haha. ”

So today we’ll cover penis size.

This is a somewhat weird topic to touch, because it folds in a bunch of men in different places. Men affected by small penis concerns include:

  • Men whose penises may or may not be small, but they’re worried they are

  • Men whose penises actually are small, and they’re worried about this

  • Men who struggled to get women off, and fear maybe their penises are small

Further, this is almost exclusively a sexually inexperienced man problem. I’ve yet to meet or hear of a man with 15+ lays who worries much or at all about his length or girth. I’m sure there are a few out there, but they’re pretty darn rare. Regardless whether your penis is small or not, once you’ve been with enough women, you usually don’t much care about this.

In a way, it’s kind of like being the beginning piano player who worries his fingers are too thick. Or the rookie running back whose 40-yard dash is below average and worries he might not get picked for a team. Once you’re getting results in the thing, these concerns melt away because they stop being relevant.

So, my general advice to guys is, “Worry about doing better with girls, work on your sexual technique so you are getting girls off regularly... and you are not going to care about this anymore once you do.”

If you don’t care about the details, and just want the gist, that’s it right there. You can stop reading here. Go level up with girls, go level up your bedroom technique, and you’ll think it was silly you ever worried about penis length or thickness.

But if that isn’t enough for you, and you’re talking yourself out of talking to girls because you’re afraid they’ll be disappointed with your manhood, or you won’t be able to satisfy them, then lets disabuse you of those notions.

We’ll begin today with a look at where science stands on penis size, and go from there.

Dating Success is Probability, Not Cause and Effect

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By: Chase Amante

cause vs. probability
If you think about success with women as cause and effect, you’ve got it all wrong. You must think in terms of probabilities.

First off, causality and probability are not opposites.

But from a mental models point of view, they may as well be.

Most people in most walks of life think about things in terms of causality. Causes have effects, and effects have causes. If X happens, it’s because you did Y... or someone did. And if you do Y, X will happen.

This is what we might call ‘normal thinking’. It’s how the untrained mind interprets everything.

If you go out to the bar at night, and meet a girl, and you and her end up in bed together, you caused that.

If you hit on a girl in the office, and she rejects you, and then the entire office mocks you for weeks for it, you caused that too.

We’re going to unpack a lot of this thinking today. I’m going to show you why it’s not entirely correct, and in fact is more incorrect than correct.

Along the way, I’m going to expose a lot of wrong thoughts you likely have about seduction, about social interaction, and about the way the world itself works.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Screen Her on Touchy Topics

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By: Chase Amante

touchy topics
Women conceal the past. So how do you get the skinny on them on touchy topics… Without them shutting down or blowing up?

A reader named Eric writes in:

“Hey, just wondering how do you screen a girl for topics that she might not want to talk about or for things that wouldn’t be in her best interest to tell you like daddy issues or if she has ever cheated in a relationship without coming off as too insecure or too aggressive?”

This is a pretty fun topic. How do you get girls to be straight with you on stuff they’d rather not be?

Two days ago, I published “Why Won’t Women Just Say What They Want?”, which is all about women’s tendency toward the vague and ambiguous. This can make it hard to nail a girl down on some topics... Especially the topics she doesn’t want you to nail her down on.

Further, women usually cloak the less marketable parts of their pasts in secrecy (and even go so far as to discourage investigation into their pasts: “Why does it matter?” “The past is irrelevant!”). Men do this too, but the female version of the murky past is the big leagues; men are the J.V. squad of concealment, compared to how women do.

Yet, those parts of her past she doesn’t want you to know about may be exactly the things you need to know about most. In “Why Her Past Matters If You Want Something Serious”, I shared a trio of scientific investigations into women’s age at first sex, their tendencies to sleep with male friends, and their religious service attendance... and how these three things relate to the level of fidelity you can expect from them, on average. And in “How Many Partners Has Your Girlfriend Had? Find Out Here”, I highlight a study that finds a woman’s infidelity risk rises 7% for each additional sex partner she has.

Particularly if you want a long-term relationship with a girl, there’s a good chance you want to know the things she may not want you to. But how do you find these things out, without her lying to you or spiraling into auto-rejection?