How do you meet girls when you are the quiet, introverted guy?
Well, the good news is, quiet guys have a lot of power to do very well with women, once they can get over that initial ‘shyness’ hump.
There’s a lot to focus on in life, and little guidance. Where should you concentrate your efforts? To these 12 key areas: women, money, strategy, and more.
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I’ve had guys ask me over the years what areas of their lives to focus on outside of women. And younger guys have asked what they ought to have handled as they get older. Society’s grown more complex than at perhaps any other time in history, due to myriad factors. However, one of the biggest factors has been the near-total abandonment of preparing young people for what to expect in life.
In place of lessons and guidance, we give them feel-good Hollywood films and vapid platitudes. Things that for prior generations were known and expected in life are surprises for the generations now coming of age, left to their own devices to figure these things out (or not).
So I’ve worked to set out a list here of the 12 most important things for a man to have handled before he turns 35. If you’re young, these are the items in life you need to concentrate your energy on. If you’re older and you haven’t handled all these yet, it’s not too late to start. This isn’t a list designed to make you ‘feel bad’ if you haven’t accomplished these yet – this article isn’t about ‘feelings’. This article is about masculine concerns: what areas of your life can you work on that will improve your life?
The more work you do on these 12 areas, the better your life will be.
If your life is already awesome, improve these areas and it will become more awesome. If it’s less than awesome, improve these areas and you will change that too. Note that some men have some degree of natural ability in some of these areas. But no one is a natural at them all – and every man has room to improve in each.
When a girl does something good, you can reward her with a cheek
kiss… and open up the floodgates of romantic and sexual potential.
This is a fun little tactic I’ve employed over the years that does a lot of good things for you.
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The tactic is simple: when she does something you like, give her a peck on the cheek, neck, shoulder, or lips.
There’s a little nuance to it, because the power of the kiss will be tied to the level of investment she gives you. The bigger the investment, the weightier the kiss. The lesser the investment, the lesser the kiss.
I’m going to do a quick section to tell you why this is good. And then I’ll give you a few examples of how and where you’d use it.
It’s been years… and now she wants to reconnect. Should you meet
her? And beyond that, should you date her?
I received an email recently from a girl I hadn’t heard from in six or seven years.
I’d known her from social circle (back when I still maintained a social circle). She was skinny, fun, and cute, with an endearing California Valley girl accent (and all the expressiveness that entails). She also had that somewhat uptight air about her that can be a little off-putting but is really fun when you break through it and reach the real her.
Anyway, this was not a girl I’d hooked up with. Didn’t really have a
good
opportunity, and in any event I slept with other girls from that circle
who were younger and didn’t have the same walls up
she did. I met up with her various times in our shared social circle.
Toward the end of my time in that circle, I scheduled a one-on-one meet
with her but had to flake on it... and when she wanted to meet again I
wasn’t able to make myself available for it. And after that we were in
different cities and she fell off my radar. She was 29 years old back
then.
So I got an email from her after more than half a decade, just saying she saw an event and wondered if I intended to go to it and asking if I was in town.
And the only thing I could think was, “Wow, 36 years old and still single, huh?”
Sometimes you’ll meet girls who won’t contribute to conversation.
When this happens, you’ll have to step up and do the talking yourself.
One of our forum members by the name of Witcher had a few questions about deep diving, one of which was this:
“Deep diving demand[s] from the seducer to ask girls a lot of questions, How to not make It look like an interview or audition? This is the impression I have doing it and It feels a little weird.”
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Of course, one of the keys to deep diving is that you not make it feel like an interview... which means past a certain number of questions, if she hasn’t begun to participate much yet, you need to turn your questions into statements. You can do this with cold reads (instead of: “What do you do for work?”, make it: “You look like either an anthropologist or an entrepreneur, I’m not sure which”). And beyond this, if she doesn’t get more involved, you will need to start to tell stories and otherwise steer the conversation with your own content.
The better your fundamentals, the faster you hook girls in... and the more likely you are to end up in conversations where girls pelt you with questions and/or open up about themselves from the get-go. Yet even if your fundamentals are in a class of their own, you will still encounter women who seem, for lack of a better term for it, ‘conversationally impaired’.
Could be she isn’t interested. Could be she’s not in a social mood. Could be she’s just a quiet person and not particularly talkative.
But if you find yourself in such a conversation, with a girl who sticks around and passes your compliance tests (so you know you’re not wasting your time on a disinterested girl), yet nevertheless doesn’t contribute, you will need another approach.
You’ll need to be able to run the conversation when the girl’s contribution is all or mostly absent.
Do you wait for girls to approach you? It may be scary to
approach women yourself, but waiting for them to ask first is a losing
proposition.
One of the members of our forum has talked about his strategy of waiting for girls to meet him, and then spitting game at them. It doesn't seem to work well for him, since he is perpetually single and has been hung up on the same girl for over a year, hoping every time she breaks up with a boyfriend that maybe she'll pay more attention to him.
Nevertheless though, he's committed. He ignores all the advice from every other member on there and from me that he forget this girl and go meet new ones. This is his strategy, and he's decided to stick to it.
I don't think there are a lot of guys who are 100% into this strategy of “I've just got to wait for women to come meet me”, like Neal is. But there are guys who slip into this some or a lot of the time. So we should talk about it.
Because even while objectively this is about as effective as thinking, “I've just got to wait for the money to come to me,” or, “I've just got to wait until a Ferrari shows up in my driveway,” subjectively it can feel like a valid strategy at the time when you're thinking it.
But it's not a valid strategy. It's a terrible strategy.
What’s a normal day look like for a regular girl? Work, friends,
gym, guys – lots of guys, of all kinds – and that’s just the start.
Monica’s phone alarm goes off. It’s 7:00 AM. “Ugh,” she groans. She stayed up too late to watch that stupid show again. It always seems like a great idea when she’s into it. And then it seems like dumbest, most vapid thing ever when she wakes up sleep deprived the next day. She slides her finger across the phone screen to disable the alarm, and rolls out of bed.
She shambles over to the bathroom, yanks her panties down, and plops down onto the seat. Pee hisses out. She feels relieved. She gives a few wipes, flushes the toilet, and gets up to go into the kitchen.
Breakfast... should she or shouldn’t she? She stares into her
cupboard. She’s skipped it every other morning this week so far. “No
breakfast” is part of her master plan to shed this light extra layer of
blubber that’s crept onto her waistline. Nobody else seems to have
realized she isn’t super super skinny anymore yet, but she’s realized
it. Hunger overrules the desire to drop a few pounds and she pours
herself a bowl of cereal. Well, at
least it’s healthy cereal, she reasons. She munches on her
breakfast at the table while she reads on her phone.
Looks like normal drama on her social media today. That crazy single mother Abigail in her network had posted another two-paragraph self-justification dressed up as life advice. This time she’d posted about how life is all about experience and travel and not being held back from going for the man you want. That got her a slew of likes and praise (“SO TRUE!”)... until Maria couldn’t help herself and weighed in: “That’s maybe also why 2 kids, 2 dads, still single though, right? #lifechoices.” The comments on the post exploded after that. Monica snorts out a laugh. Maria is her workmate who never held her tongue (or her punches). About 90% of the comments under Maria’s remark are other women scolding her. But Monica knows most of those women secretly hold opinions closer to Maria than to Abigail. She thinks about clicking ‘Like’ on Maria’s post, then decides she doesn’t need to get involved in that debacle.
After breakfast, she puts her bowl, spoon, and glass in the sink. There are a few days’ worth of dishes in there. Gotta clean those before they start to attract bugs, she thinks. She quick washes any milk and crumbs out of the bowl, then leaves it for a proper wash later.
She puts her hair up in a bun and takes a quick shower, using the handheld showerhead to rinse. She spends a little too long with the shower jet aimed at her clitoris. Then she moves down and rinses her legs. She gives herself a quick scrub with some soap and a pouf, then another rinse, then it’s out of the shower. She dresses herself in a neat, tidy little business-y outfit, brushes her teeth, does her hair, and grabs her purse and her duffle bag with gym clothes, then it’s out the door and off to work.
Want to walk back a mistake, or calibrate your sexual innuendo?
“I’m just kidding” + touch is the perfect tactic to let you do so.
One of the most potentially powerful lines you can add to your
canned line arsenal is “I’m just kidding”... followed up by a bit of
touch.
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This line plus touch lets you reframe all sorts of situations. It lets you rebuild attainability in an instant with girls who were about to auto-reject you. And it can amplify a woman’s intrigued confusion.
“I’m just kidding” plus touch was a crucial part of the old seduction community “Grand Master style” (which consists of extreme sexual directness with women, right from the opener... if you’re interested in this style, let me know in the comments and I’ll do an article on it). The tactic gives you an easy way to backtrack if a chase frame or sex talk goes a little sour.
Because it’s such a powerful tactic, there’s a little nuance to it. Get that nuance down, and you have an effective means to control the flow of a conversation and the flow of the emotions within it.
You’ve changed towns, but you don’t know anyone. How can you get
started in a new city? This guide shows you how.
You’re about to move to a completely new city... or you’ve already moved there. It’s exciting, it’s fresh, and it’s a little scary. Here is this novel metropolis where you don’t know anyone.
It could be filled with opportunity: awesome new friends, beautiful new girlfriends, delicious new food. Wondrous new places to see, riveting new activities to partake in.
Or it could be lonesome, boring, and fill you with homesickness for
your old abode.
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How will you know? You won’t know until you’ve been there a while. But there’s a secret most social veterans who’ve moved around a bit know: what makes a place is not so much the place itself, but the people you know there, and the things you do there.
A well-connected guy with lots of cool friends, pretty girlfriends, and fun things to do in an otherwise small and boring town will live a better, fuller, more exciting life than a lonely guy who doesn’t go out and doesn’t know anyone, even if that guy lives in the biggest, most interesting city on Earth.
So our focus is to turn you into the well-connected guy who knows lots of outstanding people and does lots of outstanding things... no matter how big or small or busy or not his new town might be.
You’re going to learn how to get started in a new city. And in particular, you’re going to learn how to do that in a way that maximizes your exposure to excellent friends, women, locations, and activities.
This articles divides into sections each of those four items (friends, women, locations, activities). You can jump around with the table of contents if you prefer to skim and don’t want to read the whole piece in a single sitting. But for the maximum new city experience, I suggest you go through the full article.
We’ll begin this article with a look at location: where in town you should go for fun, and where in town you should live.
You can undress her yourself. But what if you want to make a
woman undress on her own? There are 3 ways: tell her to, use barriers,
and take her pants off first.
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I know you’re used to the ‘standard’ way to get a new girl into bed. Bring her home, kiss her, continue to escalate on her... rub your hands up and down her, start to peel her clothes off her. She resists, you persist. Rinse and repeat until she’s naked. Then, intercourse.
Today we’ll talk about another way to do this. Rather than you be the one to take her clothes off, today’s article is about how you can make a woman undress herself.
You can use this with girlfriends and new girls alike. It can help you break through tough bouts of resistance. And it can make the escalation process a lot more fun. Tired of having her take your hands off her or stop you from disrobing her? No problem. Get her to take her clothes off herself instead.
We’ll cover three (3) different ways to do this in this article. And in my opinion, each of these is more fun than the one before it.
