Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Tactics Tuesdays: How to be Mindful (and Learn 10x Faster)

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By: Chase Amante

how to be mindful
When you set out to form new habits and self-improve, a big part of this is how to remember to make these adjustments in the first place.

Reader Kalyan writes in with a question about learning fundamentals:

“hey, i just noticed that your website lacks a very important article (or maybe i dont know of it. if thats the case please send me link(s)). i know fundamentals are important. and everyone knows eye contact is important for example.. but i find it very hard to consistently remember to consciously focus on eye contact... i feel because of that, mastering individual fundamentals like that is much slower. so, an article about how to learn or focus on fundamentals would be helpful. i know its a good idea to work on one aspect at a time, but how could you actually remember to work on even one thing when youre out and talking to women?”

It’s an interesting question, and in fact is one more concerned with mindfulness – the act of attunement to what is occurring both around you and within your head in the present moment – than the pure raw process of learning fundamentals.

The process of learning fundamentals themselves is straightforward:

  1. Pick a fundamental to work on, be that eye contact, posture, vocal intonation, or another

  2. Decide what to alter or improve in this fundamental

  3. Make that alteration/improvement over and over across the next 30-90 days

  4. Every time you notice yourself not doing it the way you want to do it, correct yourself

  5. After 1-3 months (and many hundreds of internal reminders) have passed, it’s now automatic

This process can transform you into a man with impeccable, powerful body language, mannerisms, and behavior in a relatively short time (six months to a year for really complete change; though you’ll start to see the effects of this exercise as soon as you begin work on it).

Yet you must remember to remind yourself to adopt these better fundamentals to change them.

What if you can simply never remember to do it?

Female Standards Are an Opening Bid

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By: Chase Amante

female standards
Women have a lot of very high standards. They just don’t always stick to those standards, is all. In fact, they usually abandon a lot of them.

I had a funny insight recently. Well, more a new way to look at something I already was aware of, but the new way of looking at it instantly made me go, “Ah, that’s how it is, yes.”

I started writing an article about girlfriend retention earlier. I got about a third of the way into it, got pulled away from it, and don’t really feel like going back to it right now. Then I started writing one on hooking up with girls who are horny when you’re not the most attractive guy in the room, but went on a big tangent and kind of lost my train of thought so shelved that one for now too (lost trains of thought happen sometimes when you write).

Anyway, in the ‘keeping a girlfriend’ one, I embedded a YouTube video of a hit 1970s soul song where the female singer talks about trying to hang onto a broke male partner she feeds and clothes and houses and whom she discovers is having an affair. It’s a great song (the single sold a million copies in its first eight weeks), and people love it... but the YouTube comment section is filled with women proclaiming how they would never tolerate a man straying on them and how the singer needs to find herself a new man.

And I thought “It is so funny how women do that.” Because I have had numerous girlfriends – beautiful, intelligent, charismatic girlfriends, with no shortage of male suitors and no lack of self awareness – declare to me they would never tolerate a man seeing other women while with them, even as they knew I saw other women while with them. I have watched these same women tell other women no woman should tolerate this and that any woman with such a man ought to leave him. Then come right back to me after these little rants to others, happy as pups.

It’s not just about fidelity. Women do it with many things. There was a poll I came across where someone asked Japanese women what they’d like to change about their man. 40% of women said a bit more muscle, 25% of women said more wealth, and another 25% said they wanted more personality. One male commenter on the poll results remarked “So just get muscular, be rich, and have a great personality. Easy!” (that’s sarcasm, in case you didn’t catch it). Another commenter remarked that the problem women face is all the ripped, rich guys with great personalities are gay.

And it’s true (the standards disconnect, not the gay thing. Although that is kind of true too)! If you ask most men what they want in a girlfriend, you’ll get a couple of items. Cute, nice, submissive, can cook and clean. That’s about what most guys want. Maybe one or two other things, like likes to dress sexy or is into this or that leisure activity. Many women have full-on wish lists of 30 to 70 qualities they want a man to have. Yet, again – reality doesn’t match women’s words. Look at the guys these girls with huge long lists of things they want date, and you discover their actual real world partners don’t have most of what these women say they want.

So why do women say they want all these things, and then turn around and date men who don’t have any of them? And then they keep saying they want those things anyway, in spite of their dating histories to the contrary?

Are women just nuts?

How to Use Takeaways (Plus, the 5 Types of Takeaway)

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By: Chase Amante

pickup takeaways
When girls tease, go off topic, get distracted, or turn mean, a takeaway may be in order. But the key to these is calibration: not too much, not too little.

We’ve talked a lot about takeaways lately on Girls Chase. Alek has posted a few recent articles on “hit and run” in bars and nightclubs (where you talk to a girl for a bit, leave, and come back later). And in Monday’s article on handling disrespect, Hector made ample use of the full suite of available takeaways.

A takeaway is any behavior you use to remove your attention, interest, or even outright presence away from a woman. It can be an effective way to snap women to attention, to increase your scarcity (and thus, the urgency of hooking up with you), and to differentiate yourself from other men (many of whom cling onto any woman who talks to them like burs as soon as she gives them her attention, and would never leave or withdraw attention until they’d totally given up). Takeaways also let you fractionate your courtships, and are a powerful way to inspire women to chase you and do more of the work in the courtship.

You’ve felt the power of takeaways plenty of times before yourself. A girl you talk with shrugs her eyebrows and seems disinterested. A girl you are with suddenly shifts from warm and open with you to frowning and telling you she doesn’t think you and her are very much alike. Another girl you were flirting with suddenly tells you “I have to run – I’ll catch you later!” and darts off. All these are takeaways... though some of them (like when she seems disinterested) are lighter and more implied, while others (like when she darts off) are stronger and more demonstrative.

We’ll look at the different types of takeaways you can use in this article. Then we’ll talk about some times to use them, as well as some times not to use them.

The New Spot Bonus: Novelty in Your Meet Markets

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By: Chase Amante

content="When you first go somewhere new, it can seem like the best meet market you’ve found. Cute girls everywhere. But is this effect real or illusion?">

meet market
When you first go somewhere new, it can seem like the best meet market you’ve found. Cute girls everywhere. But is this effect real or illusion?

Remember when you first moved to town? Beautiful girls everywhere. Your new location was a visual feast: women with great bodies in sexy clothes. Gorgeous faces and stunning hair. So much choice with women you didn’t know which girl to pick.

Or remember when you found that venue you’ve been to so many times now? That bar or nightclub you’ve been to 20 times. That shopping street or mall you visit every weekend. Remember how it was when you first went – how much your head spun as girl after hot girl walked by?

Compare that to today. There aren’t nearly as many beautiful girls. The women in your town seem to have grown older, heavier, and less cute. Those venues you frequent have dropped off in quality and beautiful girls are no longer in the abundance they once were.

Then, one day, you visit somewhere new.

It might be a new city, town, or suburb. It might be a new venue in your own area you haven’t visited before.

And when you get there, you’re amazed. There are beautiful girls everywhere! Your head spins as girl after hot girl walks by.

You’ve found a new favorite place – your new girl mecca.

But have you really? Or are you merely subject to the ‘new spot bonus’?

How Women's Tastes in Men Change as They Age

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By: Chase Amante

women's tastes in men
As a woman ages, her tastes in men change. What does an under-21 girl prefer that women 32+ do not? Read on and find out.

As a man, your taste in women may or may not have changed as you’ve aged. I know a few guys whose tastes have changed over the years. Though I know many more guys whose tastes haven’t. I can tell you the only difference between the women I’m drawn to now and those I was drawn to 10 years ago is the girls I’m drawn to now are usually cuter. That is more simply a factor of having more choice with women now than I had when I was young, overweight, and romantically unskilled.

Women’s tastes in men, on the other hand, go through some major evolutions as they age. From between a girl’s late teens to her mid-30s, she shifts her tastes often dramatically.

Talk to most single women in their 30s about younger women and you’ll hear such women pan younger women’s standards in men. “Young women have the worst taste in men,” they’ll tell you. “The guys they go for are assholes with attitude. They have no taste.”

Male pundits normally regard this as a way for an older woman to make herself look more valuable in the dating market (i.e., she is more ‘refined’ than ignorant younger women) in order to make up for some of the lost value of her faded youth. And this “younger women are silly and foolish” frame does help older women do that. But there is a deeper reason so many single women in their 30s feel this way about those younger versions of themselves on the dating scene.

Before we talk about that though, we’ll talk about the different sorts of men women at different ages are most drawn toward. As always, game and fundamentals play a huge role here – the better yours are, the less you need to worry about fitting a certain template, and the better you’ll do even within that template.

Note that the age ranges we’ll discuss below are generalities. Some women may be more or less ‘mature’ than their ages (we’ll talk about that a bit below too). But in general, for the majority of women, you should find these age ranges fairly accurate.

Tactics Tuesdays: Dealing with Core Tests in Relationships

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By: Chase Amante

core test relationship
In Part II, we examine core tests in relationships – those do-or-die tests where a girlfriend hits you where it (seemingly) really hurts.

This is Part II of a 2-part series on core tests. If you did not read Part I, be sure to read that part first. In Part I, I introduced the concept of core tests, gave you a bunch of examples of these, told you why women use them, and showed you how to get past them in pickups and on dates.

We’ll skip the definition and most of the psychology in Part II and get to the meat quick: how do you handle the core tests women throw at you in a relationship?

We will have one small detour into psychology though. That detour will be to answer this question: why does a girl in a relationship with you test you at your core?

Always Plan for a Woman to Change

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By: Chase Amante

woman changes
A woman can be fickle and changeable. But why is this so? Science shows us this fickleness is an inherent aspect of female decision making.

A Young Man's Progression Through the Game

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By: Chase Amante

progression through the game
Follow the journey of a young man from shy and dateless, to improving with women, to living the dream… and what happens after.

Dan trudges off to his Thursday morning class, another long day in an endless sea of them ahead. The sole bright spot for him is the girl with brown hair and glasses. She will be there. She’s always in his Thursday morning class.

When he gets there, he grabs a seat, then looks around, waiting for her to show up. She hasn’t shown up yet. The class slowly fills. Some kid takes the empty seat to his left. Damn, he thinks. I hoped it’d stay empty until she gets here. Close to class start time, he sees the girl with brown hair and glasses walk in. He stares at her; her eyes search the room, looking for seats, then briefly meet his. He thinks he sees her smile, but she quickly looks down. She hurries off to a far corner of the room to take one of the few remaining empty seats.

All class, Dan thinks about her. He waits at the end of class, packing his books up slowly. He glances over toward her – it seems like she’s packing up slowly too. At last, after most of the class has filtered out, Dan makes for the exit, and so does the girl with brown hair and glasses. He lets her get right in front of him. She doesn’t look at him, but she glances down and wipes her hair back over one ear. He can’t tell, but he thinks she might be smiling. He feels like he should say something – this is his chance! – but he doesn’t know what to say. The both file out of the classroom; she heads off in one direction. Dan’s headed the other. He slowly walks away from her.

He doesn’t feel bad though. He feels even more certain she might like him now. And next class – he knows – will be the one he makes it happen in.

The semester passes this way. Many days the girl with brown hair and glasses doesn’t notice him or give him any signs, and he thinks she’s lost interest. Sometimes she gives him some little look, or plays with her hair while almost glancing in his direction, and he thinks she must like him still.

Once she sits two seats over from him, and he almost says something to her. He spends the entire class full of nerves, pushing himself to say something. In the end, he tells himself it’d be too awkward trying to talk over two seats – he’ll wait for a better opportunity. Next class, he’ll get a better opportunity.

As summer turns to autumn, then autumn to winter, the semester draws to a close. The fallen leaves on the ground are covered by a light dusting of snow. Finals are over, and it’s time for the students to head home for the holidays.

“Maybe the girl with brown hair and glasses will be in one of my classes next semester,” Dan tells himself.

Tactics Tuesdays: Dealing with Core Tests on Dates and in Pickups

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By: Chase Amante

core tests dates
Not all tests are subtle. Sometimes women break out the big guns. But what do you do when she hits you with a test aimed right at your core?

In today’s Tactics Tuesdays post, we talk about a very specific kind of test. These are what I call ‘core tests’; they test a man at his core, aimed at what a woman dubs likely to be a core issue to a man’s strength or identity. A core test revolves around money, leadership, sexual prowess, and other areas most men pride themselves on strength in.

This is Part I of a 2-parter on core tests. Part I deals with core tests in pickups and on dates.

Women will use core tests on you at any stage of interaction with them. They will use them with you during the courtship. They’ll use them on dates. They’ll core test you in the bedroom as you escalate to sex. They’ll core test you early on into a sexual relationship, half a year into your relationship, or ten years into marriage. Core tests are the most dangerous tests women will use on you – yet they also present the greatest opportunity to set massively powerful frames.

We’ll talk about how to spot a core test, why core tests carry so much force to shake most men so easily, and how to shrug core tests off in a way that will not only make women’s respect for you shoot through the ceiling, but will help you yourself cement your own identity as an unshakeable man.

Core tests serve as a reliable way to show women around you a kind of dynamic confidence most men don’t know how to summon up. And in this way, they can be quite useful to encounter.

Why You Want to be Her First Choice Guy

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By: Chase Amante

first choice guy
You won’t always be a girl’s first choice. Yet there are distinct advantages to being her first choice guy – and drawbacks when you aren’t it.

Sometime back, in “Attraction is Either There, or It Isn’t”, we talked about two sorts of attraction. The first was what I called ‘fascination’, where a woman is attracted to you from the get-go; a kind of instinctive, unconscious attraction that is simply there. The second was excitement: a degree of liking, intrigue, attachment, or arousal you build up with time, even if fascination isn’t there at the outset.

Today’s article is related to this, though slightly different. We’ll talk about a girl’s first choice guy... versus her second choice guy or her third choice guy.

The first choice guy will usually be a guy she starts off with fascination-type attraction for. When you are her first choice, some aspect of you strikes her. You rocket to the top of her list of men she’d like something to happen with: could be a hookup, could be a fling, could be a long-term relationship. She knows she’d like something to occur.

Most of the time, with most women you encounter, you’ll be a second or third choice guy (or lower). This is just how it works – you won’t have insta-compatibility with most women, just like most women won’t have insta-compatibility with you. As your fundamentals get tighter and you get better at talking to women and making things happen with them, you’ll have more smoother interactions and will meet both more ‘first choice’ girls as well as do better with more ‘second choice’ and ‘third choice’ girls.

It’s less important to be her first choice when you’re on the prowl for flings. That said, if you have your pick of women, it’ll almost always go easier and be more fun with girls you’re a first choice for. It’s more important to be her first choice guy when it comes to choosing women for relationships... for a variety of respect, compatibility, and fidelity reasons.