Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

7 Reasons Why Your Approaches on Girls Don't Hook

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By: Chase Amante

approaches don't hook
If you approach girls but they rarely or never hook, what’s the cause? There are 7 technical reasons why women may not hook.

Whether by day or at night, sometimes you’ll approach a girl yet it just doesn’t hook. Sure, there are the girls who aren’t into you. But what about the ones who open well, and feel like it should work... yet for whatever reason you cannot make things connect?

My usual suggestion for men who have trouble getting their approaches to hook it to improve your fundamentals... things like walk, posture, fashion, eye contact, and voice. The stronger each of these are, the faster and more reliably women hook.

Nevertheless, even men with strong fundamentals can run into this “girls I approach just don’t hook” phenomenon. They approach plenty of girls. But those approaches go nowhere.

So if you feel like your approaches connect a lot less than they should, this troubleshooting article’s for you: things to tweak to make those conversations hook a whole lot better.

Below, you’ll find seven (7) technical reasons why men’s approaches often don’t work.

If you’re doing any of these wrong, you’ll want to switch it up. Fix all the issues, and you can expect a noticeable boost in the number of women you hook.

Here’s the list.

Who Controls Your Woman, the Environment or You?

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control your woman
Everything in a woman’s life wields some degree of control over her. The big question is, do you control your woman – or yield control to others?

College tells her feminism
Is what she must embrace.
Her boss says that it is “career”
What wins in the workplace.
Nightlife tells her status
While friends tell her “fun” too.
So who controls your woman
The environment, or you?

At some point, you will find yourself with a girl you like, and decide you want to hang onto her a while. You may not want to keep her forever. You might want a short relationship. Or perhaps you do want her forever.

The man sets the pace and trajectory of the relationship. The woman agrees with his direction and submits to it, or she will disagrees and rebels. If she rebels, she does so to force change to the pace and trajectory of the relationship, not to destroy the relationship or take control herself.

You won’t have women tell you, “We’re doing it my way now.” Well, not usually. Instead, she acts up, pressures you, whines, pouts, complains, and does everything she can to get you to change. She does not want to lead. She wants to influence the leader. Influencing, rather than directly leading, is how women control.

We talk about control in this article. Not control in the sense of unwilling control. Nothing here we’ll discuss will be anything against anyone’s will. The kind of control we will discuss here is leadership, influence, attraction, seduction, security, comfort, and power. It is about who wields the greater control over the mind of an individual. Will it be you, her partner? Or will it be the many other forces in the environment that wish her to do as they will – and not as you do?

Tactics Tuesdays: When It's Okay to Flip-Flop Around Girls

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okay to flip-flop
Maybe you think you should never flip-flop. But flip-flopping has a time and place. Here’s how to use it well with women and on dates.

One of the major conversation topics we discuss on Girls Chase is frame control. If you’re unfamiliar with frame control, I have a trio of articles here that will serve as a decent introduction:

The essence of frame control is that you know what you stand for and you stick to your guns. If we can say this of a man, we can say he has a strong frame. Strong frames are attractive; they suck other people in and cause them to see the world as the frame-holder sees it.

Frame control is particularly important in dating. Women will test you and challenge you as they seek to find out what kind of man you really are. A great frame allows you to sidestep these tests, ace them, and beat them.

However, sometimes you may need to change your position. You may be better served by doing something else or adopting another stance that contradicts what you said or did earlier. Flexibility is vital to your dating success. If you’re too rigid about “I have to always be 100% consistent with what I said or did before”, you will pass up a lot of potential success with girls.

Today’s article takes a look at when it’s okay to contradict yourself or flip-flop with women – and how to deal with the tests that sometimes follow.

If You Don't Want to Date Her, Does It Mean You're Insecure?

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don't want to date her
If you’re not willing to date certain girls, does that mean you’re insecure? Well, perhaps… But only if “insecure” doesn’t mean what your accuser means it means.

There’s a common refrain you’ll hear from women. Not just women, but men sometimes too. The refrain goes like this:

You don’t want to date her because you’re insecure.

There are some women this is obviously pure self-serving commentary from. Morbidly obese women, for instance. If a morbidly obese woman tells you you’re insecure if you don’t want to date her, well, you know that’s a tub of baloney (and maybe a tub of lard, too).

This article isn’t about those women. Not the obviously undesirable girls who’d claim your rejection of them stems from insecurity.

Instead, this article is about the fuzzy cases: girls with high notch counts, girls who’ve dated far wealthier or handsomer men than you, girls who’ve dated criminals. Heck, girls who’ve dated men of ‘badder’ races than you are (a white guy if you’re Asian, or a black guy if you’re white, for instance), or girls who used to be guys (transsexuals), or girls who tell you they’ve been rape victims or abuse victims.

Are you, in fact, insecure if you don’t want to date one of these people?

Tactics Tuesdays: "What's the Matter, You Chicken?"

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are you chicken
If she’s on the fence about complying with you, there’s an easy way to get her off that fence: ask her if she’s chicken.

Quick fun post on how to get girls to do stuff they resist doing.

You can read more on how to get girls to say yes (or what to do if they say no) in my compliance series:

  1. How to Get Her to Say “Yes”
  2. What If She Says No?
  3. How to Say No to Others

Today though I just want to talk about one specific little technique. This is the technique of playfully accusing girls of being scared to do whatever it is you want them to do.

This is very simple to do. It’s lots of fun. And it’s wildly effective at turning non-compliant girls into compliant ones. Works on a whole huge spectrum of types of compliance she can resist you on, too.

When Your Relationship is Comfy but You Still aren't Happy

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comfy relationship unhappy
You have a girlfriend, and she’s great. But she still is not enough. What do you when the relationship is comfortable but unsatisfactory?

Over the years, I’ve discussed with you the danger of ‘falling into relationships’. That is, you’re not ready for a relationship, you don’t want a relationship... yet you settle into one with her anyway.

It could be this girl you date is less than your ideal. Or it might’ve been you weren’t ready for something settled with anyone yet. You needed to explore more; to get laid more, date more, and build up that inner book of mate comparisons people use before they decide to satisfice with a mate.

If your mate is not quality at all, the matter is straightforward: just break up with her. Go be single again. Get your freedom back. And next time, make a wiser choice.

But what do you do if your mate is okay, the relationship is comfortable, and you aren’t sure how able you’ll be to find replacement mates once single... or even whether you’ll be able to find anyone as good as your current gal is?

Then you, my friend, are in a pickle.

21 Signs She's a Psycho You Should Ghost on at the Bar

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signs she's psycho
How do you know a girl is crazy, and best avoided when you meet her at the bar? Look for these 21 signs... and keep your distance!

Talking about my article “8 Red Flags She’s a Crazy Girl You Should Stay Away From”, reader SZ comments:

I read the how to tell if a chicks crazy article, but it looks like if you kind of know her already, so if it’s a same night lay or a fast lay, no way to tell.

How can you tell a chick will be a problem from the first interaction, so you know she’s crazy right off the bat? How do you tell upfront ?

Good question. How do you know right away... when you meet her on the street, in a party, or at a bar? How do you know if she’s a potential danger to you? How can you identify the psychos – so you can weed them out?

As fun and liberating as hookup culture may be, there are plenty of folks who are off their rockers – and if you go out enough, you will meet them. Psycho men you need to avoid to stay out of fights. Psycho women you need to avoid for that reason... and for many more reasons. Psycho women may:

  • Manipulate you into fighting another man – psycho chicks often like to see men battle each other for their hands

  • Stalk you and harass you after sex – if you’ve never had a female stalker, you might think, “Eh, how bad can that be?” If you have had a female stalker though, you know it’s both kinda scary (you don’t have to be a big, burly man to sneak up on someone and plunge a knife in their throat; petite women can do this too), and it cramps your style in a major way (try keeping a high quality girlfriend while some psycho chick hounds you everywhere and contacts any woman she sees interacting with you to tell her made-up things to try and scare her off)

  • Slap you with a false rape accusationbetween 45% and 55% of men accused of rape are falsely accused by women; it’s an enormous problem in the West, and nobody talks about it (or is allowed to). While the odds are good her story will fall apart under police interrogation, and you will win the case, that won’t stop you from losing $10,000 to $100,000 on attorney and court fees, getting suspended or expelled from school, getting suspended or fired from work, and losing some or most of your friends. You don’t even need to have penetrative sex to get hit with an FRA; men who’ve no more than fingered a girl get hit with these, and sometimes a guy who’s never even touched a girl will get FRA’d

  • Just generally be an un-fun time – even if she’s not psycho enough to sick some meathead on you, follow you around and scare off other girls you date, or file a false police report claiming you raped her, psycho chicks are a lot of drama and can lead to some really draining nights out. Random crying fits, accusations followed by apologies, jealousy plotlines where she makes out with other men in front of you then gets angry if you try to leave, pulling you along somewhere you don’t want to go and then ditching you when you get there... these are just a few of the things I’ve seen psycho women do in nightlife

Caveat for the people who take things completely literally at all times: I’m using the term ‘psycho’ here in the colloquial sense of the word. I’m not focused on the clinical definition of psychosis. Though you’ll encounter some of that among women who exhibit these signs too. Instead, we are talking about crazy, nutty, outré behavior from broken people.

There is no reason to tolerate psychotic behavior from a woman. Unless you’re wildly desperate. Then I guess you may not be able to help yourself. But I hope if you’re someone who’s read this site for a little while, you are not wildly desperate.

Otherwise, there are so many normal women out there, who are just as hot (usually hotter) than the psycho chicks, and will not ruin or seriously monkey up your life. You want to find these girls (the normal ones), and screen out the crazies.

To help you do so, I’ve prepared a list of 21 signs to keep your eyes peeled for when you hit the bar, the lounge, the nightclub, the party, or the street at night, to make sure you don’t end up with a girl who’ll sour you on dating.

Don't Let a "Successful Identity" Stand in Your Way with Women

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big deal women
Are you such a success you now find yourself hesitant to approach? If you want to meet more women, you’ll have to shed that ‘Big Deal’ image.

Something happens to a lot of men once they reach a certain point with girls.

They realize they are, without question, pretty good.

When you hit this point, you look back and notice you’ve shagged a lot of girls. You’ve picked up girls in crazy situations and somehow pulled it off. You’ve had beautiful girlfriends who worshipped the earth you stood on. Maybe you cultivated a bit of notoriety on forums or just among your circle of friends as a guy skilled with babes.

And then you start to go out thinking you’re a big deal. “I’m a big deal,” you say. “Women are supposed to like me.”

You start to get self-conscious about approaching. You get a new flavor of approach anxiety. But it’s weird; it’s different from that earlier flavor. Whereas your old approach anxiety was a fear women might destroy your self-esteem by rejecting you, now it’s something else. Now you fear a woman may shatter your identity.

If you approach her, and she rejects you, can you really consider yourself Earth’s Biggest Ladies Man? Probably not, right?

So better not to approach.

In a way, this anxiety is worse than the earlier one. At least with the earlier one, you didn’t have much to lose. You sucked with girls, and you had to fix it, doggone it. With this new one though, you feel a need to preserve all those memories of success you have. This identity of being great. And when you don’t approach, you can just flood yourself with memories: “I’m not going to talk to that girl. It’s not worth the risk. Hey, remember that time I banged a girl who looked just like her? And how awesome that was? That was great...”

Plenty of guys get stuck here. Most never fully make it back.

Because once you’re a ‘Big Deal’ in your own head – a legend in your own mind – it gets harder and harder to do anything that might disabuse you of that notion.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Screen Out * Diggers

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screen * diggers
An * digger is a girl who picks which guy to date via one single quality: his muscles, or skin color, or wallet, or military status, or more.

In my article on how to avoid divorce rape, I discussed wife screening. In particular, I talked about how to screen out gold diggers, social climbers, and husband hunters. A reader didn’t like this, and took a mocking tone toward the act of screening out undesirables:

Really good article. Especially that pick the right wife part.

Do you plan on writing an article on screening out muscle* diggers?

There are some evil women out there who dig muscular men. They want to look at your muscles, touch it, ask you to hug them, to lift something etc.

“What’s the problem?” you might ask.

The problem is that those women don’t like you for you like yo mamma does. They don’t give you ego validation. If you were skinny, they wouldn’t even look at you.

What advice would you give to muscular guys?

Would you tell them to slouch, hide their muscles, wear oversized clothes, get fat asap?

You might think that I’m just jealous of those guys and trying to sabotage them... you might think that I’m in auto-rejection by calling those women evil, superficial when I realize that I’ll only ever be able to jerk off to their Instagram photos at best. I’m not.

__

* you can substitute this with fashion, popularity, credentials, nice haircut, tatoos etc.

Mockery aside, he has a point: there really ARE * diggers... and you often will want to screen them out. (I’ll likely do a second article sometime soon about the weird recent Western trend of not screening wives and girlfriends more specifically, too)

In today’s article, we’ll talk about why to screen, in case you haven’t been burned by women before and you aren’t convinced a woman would ever use a man. But then we’ll talk practical solutions. Since, obviously, totally concealing your best qualities (e.g., getting fat ASAP) will usually be counterproductive.

How to Get Anything from Anyone: The Law of Social Exchange

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get anything from anyone
You can get anyone to give you whatever you want. But to do it, you must obey the Law of Social Exchange (and all its small wrinkles).

We have a small group of guys on the Girls Chase forums whose deepest wish is to live the ‘cool guy life’ they see in the movies. You know... the fly guy with the babes hanging off his arm, who’s always on the invite list to all the hottest parties, forever in-demand.

Sometimes other forum members criticize this wish. And those critical members do have a point. Who cares how popular you are if you can go out and get top quality girls and top quality friends? Who needs the superficial trappings of being The Guy? It’s like chasing money for the sake of being rich. Not because you actually need that money to accomplish anything. You just want the image and the feeling of wealth.

I agree with the critical members this ‘popularity for the sake of popularity’ is not a worthy end goal. But I think it’s also worth recognizing that if you’ve never had this – if you’ve always been the outsider, rejected, never really a part of things – it can be a monkey on your back until you get it and achieve it. Some guys just need to experience the spotlight first before they can move on to worthier things.

So, if you find yourself wishing and wondering and hoping for more... to be more included, to have more babes on your arm, to go to more cool parties... to be The Guy everyone knows, talks about, and admires... this article is the one you’ve waited all your life for.

In it, I’m going to introduce you to a new social law, like the Law of Least Effort. But rather than the appearance of social power, this law governs the construction and maintenance of social ties. This law I call the Law of Social Exchange.