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Dating Rules

Learn the rules of dating.

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20 Things to Talk About on Dates With Girls

Guest Contributor's picture

what to talk about on dates
Not sure what to talk about on dates? No problem. These 20 topics take your date from start to finish with pizzazz.

Ever find yourself wondering what to talk about on dates?

Sure, you probably know some of the basics, and you might even be able to get past small talk, but what then?

Do you know how to hit the right topics to progress the date, connect with her, and lay the groundwork for taking her home?

For most guys, the answer is NO. They go with the flow and perhaps occasionally hit some of the right topics by accident. But the “go with the flow” mentality won’t help you get consistent success on dates.

It’s better to take a more deliberate approach by first understanding which topics are the most powerful on your dates.

A good conversation topic does at least one of three things:

  1. Helps you connect with her (usually by revealing something about her)

  2. Pushes the date forward (escalates things, moves her someplace more intimate)

  3. Handles the logistics (resolve timeframes and any other issues related with things to come)

(Bonus points if the topic also shines a positive light on you, but remember: you should keep talking about yourself to a minimum.)

If you’re on a topic that doesn’t do one of these things, you should move on quickly. Otherwise, you risk the conversation stalling and the connection fading.

With this in mind, I’ll cover topics that fit into each of these three categories.

You’ll notice that many of these topics allow you to:

  • Screen her for potential relationship material (whether it be hook up, friends with benefits, or girlfriend)

  • Qualify her so that she feels like she’s winning you over little by little

  • Communicate with her on an emotional level (which is best for connecting with her)

  • Keep the conversation focused on her so she feels like you already know her well

  • And relate back to her with positive traits and stories about yourself

(Note: You shouldn’t try to cycle through all of these topics on your dates. Instead, deep dive on a few of them, and save the rest for future dates with the girl.)

Let’s cover the first set of topics – those that will help you connect with her.

Attraction is Either There, or It Isn't

Chase Amante's picture

attraction is there or it isn't
Attraction is there at the beginning, or it never fully shows up to the same extent. What determines attraction – and why can’t you ‘create’ it?

This is going to be a weird article for some readers.

On the one hand, I’m going to challenge some basic assumptions you may have. But on the other hand, not really.

If you’ve read here a while, you’ve seen me comment that attraction is either there or it isn’t; you cannot ‘create’ or ‘build’ attraction. Though if you read enough of my articles, you can probably find instances of me using the phrase ‘create attraction’ or ‘build attraction’ to talk about something I’m suggesting you do. This article is about what, exactly, it is you cannot ‘create’ or ‘build’... and what other thing(s) you can build/create. Along the way, as we go, I hope you will discover some new ways of looking at attraction that lets you better use it in your courtships with women.

To get away from the confusion, in this article I will divide the thing we commonly call attraction into two (2) discrete daughter elements:

  • Fascination, and
  • Excitement

How these two play off each other throughout a courtship will be our focus today.

Tactics Tuesdays: Don't Tell Her Why Not to Sleep with You

Chase Amante's picture

why not to sleep with you
If she starts trying to convince herself to go with you or sleep with you, should you correct her if she says things about you that aren’t true?

The inspiration for this post came from the exchange Davi shares of a scenario where he was just about to sleep with a girl he’d brought back home... Until he talked her out of it:

Girl: Look, I’ve got to go to work quite early in the morning...

Davi: Well, I’ll take care of it, don’t worry!

Girl: Oh yeah, you can take me with your car when you go to your regular work, right? Then, yeah I can stay.

Davi: I can call you an Uber. But no, I don’t own a car, and it’s just a student job, haha.

Girl: Really? Hmm... oh... mmm... then I think I should go home now.

At which point she left.

I’ve been here. I remember at one point a girl had asked me to swing by her friends’ place so she could pick up her cell phone. Finally, both of us in my car, she agreed to go back to my place with me, and was talking about how she’d get home in the morning. Then I said, kind of thinking out loud, “Oh wait, we still need to get your phone from your friends,” and she said oh yeah, I have to get that.

So, we drove to her friends’ house, there was an after party going on there, she ended up wandering off and making out with some other guy she knew there for a while, while I stood around awkwardly having drinks and trying to act natural and talk with her friends, until at last the girl I’d come with passed out on a couch, and I gave up and went home alone.

Shouldn’t have reminded her about the phone and just had her pick it up in the morning. Whoops.

All I had to do in that scenario – and all Davi had to do here – was keep my mouth shut.

I just couldn’t help myself though. I had to talk her out of sleeping with me.

Tactics Tuesdays: The Bonding Phone Call

Chase Amante's picture

bonding phone call
The bonding phone call lets you build a stronger emotional connection with a girl you’ve just met. If you need a boost before the date, this is it.

In a comment under my article on over-the-top romanticness, Sadeqh asks about the bonding phone call:

Hi chase

Salut you for your ethereality that makes dating life more valuable.

I have to know what you do mean when you say bonding phone call because you haven’t really opened it yet not in your records on GC nor I could found it in your inscriptions anywhere else.

It’s like a lost necessary fragment that could fill the time you wouldn’t make a date because you are away or have not yet handled the logistics for reasons.

What’s better to say how to do it and other stuff related you could teach performing it jovial.

Mania è Dementica, Sadeqh

Sadeqh is correct, this is something I’ve referred to here and there, but not described to any great detail.

What is a bonding phone call? It’s a phone call in which your objective is the creation of a stronger emotional bond with a girl. Your chief aim with a bonding phone call is to make yourself more familiar, more trustworthy, and more comfortable to her. A secondary aim will be to make her (sexually) excited about you.

How do you do it, how is it executed, and what does it look like? Step inside and let me show you.

How to Answer Her When She Asks "Why Do You Want to Date Me?"

Davi Diluna's picture

why do you want to date me?
When a girl asks you why you want to date her… what should you say? You *could* just tell her… But don’t do this if you actually want her.

Once you enter into the dance of gaming girls, you instantly notice the avalanche of tests come rolling down at high speed to crush your lay of the day. Girls with at least some experience will throw them at you. The question in the title is one of those big snowballs that you either avoid like a pro... or suffocate under like a noob.

You’ll especially face this test when you start to go fast with girls and come across as more of a sexual man.

Let’s first talk about the game situations that lead to this question and what it tells you about the girl, then we’ll see the underlying psychology of this question before giving you all the knowledge to answer it in the best possible way.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Screen Her on Touchy Topics

Chase Amante's picture

touchy topics
Women conceal the past. So how do you get the skinny on them on touchy topics… Without them shutting down or blowing up?

A reader named Eric writes in:

Hey, just wondering how do you screen a girl for topics that she might not want to talk about or for things that wouldn’t be in her best interest to tell you like daddy issues or if she has ever cheated in a relationship without coming off as too insecure or too aggressive?

This is a pretty fun topic. How do you get girls to be straight with you on stuff they’d rather not be?

Two days ago, I published “Why Won’t Women Just Say What They Want?”, which is all about women’s tendency toward the vague and ambiguous. This can make it hard to nail a girl down on some topics... Especially the topics she doesn’t want you to nail her down on.

Further, women usually cloak the less marketable parts of their pasts in secrecy (and even go so far as to discourage investigation into their pasts: “Why does it matter?” “The past is irrelevant!”). Men do this too, but the female version of the murky past is the big leagues; men are the J.V. squad of concealment, compared to how women do.

Yet, those parts of her past she doesn’t want you to know about may be exactly the things you need to know about most. In “Why Her Past Matters If You Want Something Serious”, I shared a trio of scientific investigations into women’s age at first sex, their tendencies to sleep with male friends, and their religious service attendance... and how these three things relate to the level of fidelity you can expect from them, on average. And in “How Many Partners Has Your Girlfriend Had? Find Out Here”, I highlight a study that finds a woman’s infidelity risk rises 7% for each additional sex partner she has.

Particularly if you want a long-term relationship with a girl, there’s a good chance you want to know the things she may not want you to. But how do you find these things out, without her lying to you or spiraling into auto-rejection?

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Give Her Orgasmic Phone Sex (10 Steps)

Davi Diluna's picture

By: Davi Diluna

phone sex
Phone sex isn’t just a great deal of fun, it makes getting actual sex with her easier, too. These 10 steps let you give her the best phone sex of her life.

Do you ever use phone sex?

Don’t laugh if it sounds cheesy at first. “It’s not real sex”, I know.

But here’s the thing: phone sex has a lot of uses. And one of them is to make dates fly by with girls you haven’t had sex with yet, and make that actual penis-in-vagina sex happen a whole lot faster with far fewer roadblocks.

In this article, I’m going to tell you exactly how to pull phone sex off. And I’ll tell you the many uses of it, too.

Aside from that though, I’m also going to give you some real cautionary notes… Because just as phone sex can speed up her path into your bed, it can speed up her path into ANOTHER man’s bed instead, if you use it in the wrong way and at the wrong time.

Due to some of the trickiness of the technique, I recommend this one only for intermediates on up.

Preface aside, let’s dive into phone sex, see how to use it, what it’s used for, and some of the things you can do with it.

Should You Have Sex with Prostitutes?

Chase Amante's picture

should you do prostitutes
To pay for sex or not? What are the benefits to your game (and life)... And what are the risks?

A few years back, on my article about pornography addiction, a reader named John Jones asked about prostitution:

Chase,

Great article. I do have a major problem. Every few months I get a prostitute. I find that paying $300 for an hour of a blowjob and sex is a good deal but I know I shouldn’t be doing this.

Can you please write an article about prostitution? Or give me some advice. I read a lot of your writings, and I gotta admit, I aspire to be like you and think the way you do. You really do have it together, brother.

Thanks.

All right.

So, let me say before I get into this, there are a lot of men with entrenched, emotional opinions about this issue within the manosphere on the Internet.

Some of these guys love prostitutes, and view any advice against using prostitutes as a personal attack. They see it either as an attempt to undermine their freedom / control them by taking prostitutes away or making their patronage unacceptable (or illegal)... Or they view criticism as a personal attack that undermines their personal value or status as men.

Others of these guys hate prostitutes, and view them as dirty, degenerate, and/or disgusting, and/or view the men who patronize prostitutes as pathetic or weak.

I’m going to come at this article from a different angle.

I’m here neither to condemn nor absolve. Instead, I’m going to talk with you about what I have seen, again and again, repeatedly, among the various groups of men who use prostitutes, and the effects (both good and bad) prostitution can have on men.

Tactics Tuesdays: Over-the-Top Romanticness

Chase Amante's picture

over-the-top romanticness
To save a failed open or a stalled date, use ‘over-the-top romanticness’. It’ll put a smile on her face and reset the tone of the courtship.

Here is a fun little technique, just in time for Valentine’s Day.

It’s what I dub ‘over-the-top romanticness’. While something of a niche tactic, it is fun, and it provides a bit of a resistance-buster.

With this behavior, you can melt the resistance of otherwise-icy girls... And you do so in a way that gets you having a lot of fun as well (so no matter how she responds, you end up in a better mood).

This is a tactic that opens up ‘negotiations’ with girls, which means (if you’re a half-decent ‘negotiator’) you can carve out a shot with girls you might otherwise not have access to.

Further, it serves as a ‘get out of jail free’ card for those situations where you thought you might have blown it, broke the spell, or otherwise flubbed your chances with a girl.

First, I’m going to show you what this is. Then, I’m going to show you how (and when) to use it.

Online Pick-Up: The Full 2017 Guide to Getting Dates Online

Davi Diluna's picture

By: Davi Diluna

online pick up
Picking up girls online works different from meeting them in real life. From how you frame yourself to when to seed the date, it’s another game.

If you’ve been reading Girls Chase for a while, you’ll have noticed a lot of articles by Chase and other contributors talking about online pick-up: message writing, Facebook pick-up, Tinder, Plenty of Fish, and broad online dating related topics such as profile pictures and other details.

However, every day we see new websites, dating apps, and new social networking apps; we also see old apps/websites getting new features. All this impacts online pick-up, and sometimes it’s hard to adapt in stride with the growth of these platforms. Luckily, even though the tech evolution has changed the medium of dating, the principles of seduction remain the same!

In this article, using an extremely pragmatic approach, I’m going to cover what it means to use online pick-up. We’ll go over some basic concepts that don’t change over time. Then we’ll analyze four guidelines that you should always keep in mind during your online approaches and see how we can adapt this to the tech evolution.

To tie it all together, we’ll show you how to formulate a proper process for your online pickup.

Finally, I’ll share a word about the worthiness of doing online approaches, even if I end up writing a whole article about the relationship between the seducer’s role and technology.

Let’s get to it, shall we?