Dating Rules

With the spread of liberal ideologies, interracial dating is now widely accepted… and in a way, exciting for girls. Here’s how to make the most of being a minority.

Everyone is a minority somewhere. If you’re a white guy and you go to Africa, you will be a vanilla gem for all the dark girls. If you’re black and you go to Eastern Europe, you’re going to be dark chocolate for all the white girls. If you’re Asian and you go to South America, you will be a sexy, squinty-eyed, kung-fu dickin’ dude.

Being a minority, wherever you are, has both advantages and disadvantages, and right now, the advantages have never been higher. This is due to a few reasons.

Firstly, liberal ideologies stood as the dominant political schema for a long time. I’d say a strong three or four decades. Left-leaning ideas infiltrated politics, academia, social media – everywhere.

And liberalism is… well, liberal. Open. Wide. I have some theories on why liberal ideologies dominate certain time periods and why conservative ideologies dominate others, but one consequence of liberal ideologies is sexual liberation. This sexual liberation not only enables women to sleep with lots of guys but also lots of different kinds of guys.

Moreover, any resistance to women screwing minorities is met with a very strong shame frame – insecurity. Women use insecurity as a frame all the time. They attempt to subvert your sexuality and dominance by making you fear the possibility of shame and ostracization.

When it comes to having sex with non-traditional guys, it goes like this. A girl comes from a predominately white background. Let’s say the Midwest of America (where I grew up). A conservative area. Bible belt. So she doesn’t see many Latino or black guys. But when she does, there’s an unspoken – or even spoken – stigma around it. I've seen lots of Confederate flags where I'm from.

Her attraction to a Latino or black guy is dangerous. She could be shamed for it. But if he’s attractive, she can’t help it. People can’t help who they’re attracted to. Him being Latino or black usually isn’t enough in and of itself to attract her, but if he’s attractive and he’s a minority, that creates a dark fantasy. It’s forbidden. It’s shameful. Why?

Want to plan a second or third date to make her fall head over heels for you? Well, bust out your best cookware and have her for dinner... and dessert.

This article was written in response to a reader wondering what I do to cause a new girl I’ve had sex with to become so infatuated with me that she is willing to see me on a regular basis.

My answer? Invite her over for a home date where you do a cookout together and sex will be the dessert. Follow my advice in this article, and that girl will want to see you multiple times.

I have almost eight years of experience maintaining a harem, so I can answer this question by describing how I plan and execute a meet at my place. Firstly, I only keep top-quality girls in rotation. For me, quality means hot bodies and sexual liberation. (If we were using classic PUA lingo, we would call them super-hot babes, commonly shortened to SHB.)

I will cover the most important aspects of making a girl want to meet with you regularly for as long as you like. This article is directed at you guys that know how to hook and get girls interested enough that they are willing to go home with you.

I’m assuming you’ve already had at least a coffee date with your girl where you made a good impression. If you are curious as how to set up a great coffee date, there are some fantastic Girls Chase articles which cover that very subject. If you made a good impression the first or second time you saw her, she should have no issue agreeing to the home date idea.

In the dating world, neediness is poison. By giving her escape routes and keeping an open-door policy, she’ll discover you’re no ordinary sap… and start chasing.

Every day, I kiss the gods’ feet for allowing me to escape The Land of Incels. Did you know that 7% of men sleep with nearly all the world’s most beautiful women? I didn’t make that stat up. It’s hard science, like Newtonian Gravity. Indisputable.

Most men live in extreme romantic scarcity, an arid wasteland, devoid of connection with women – with themselves, even. They wander through existential deserts, seeking that Disney-esque moment when they’ll be introduced to some random, half-cut unicorn at the staff Christmas party. And that’s how it is for 93% of us.

Of course, this kind of introduction rarely, if ever, happens – well, not to me anyway. If they finally attract a hot girl, those ancient fears arise: losing her attention, sensing her attraction dipping. At her slightest withdrawal, they’ll claw desperately for it, like a puppy at a milk-loaded teat.

They don’t want her to abandon them, and the harder they grasp for reassurance of commitment, the weaker the strings of intimacy become. Until one day, they finally crumble, like bone dust through their heavily moisturized fingers.

In dating and seduction, neediness is poison, and abundance is honey. It’s contrary to everything we’ve been taught in the West: that the man who provides the most, who is the sweetest, most caring, doting, and available, will win the fair maiden’s heart for all eternity. This is fake news. It’s a load of rubbish and doesn’t work for the average guy.

Women are repulsed by neediness. They want a man who challenges them to be their best selves. They should feel as if they have just enough of your attention, and if they were to slip up, you could fall for another girl. She needs to chase you.

It’s natural to want someone if you find them attractive. But keeping a girl cornered, psychologically or physically, is not only poor game but relationship blackmail. It will always have the opposite, paradoxical effect. Approach game requires some push-pull, some abundance mentality – as do longer relationships.

In the A-to-Z of seduction, the girl must feel she’s in a relationship out of choice – that she’s better off with you than without you. Whether it’s one night or for life, she’s invested, not coerced or manipulated. The more she invests, the bigger the loss if the prospect were to collapse.

Once you’ve made yourself an attractive man women want, the battle is half won. The next step: finding ways to lower your cost, to make it easy for women who want you.

Most of what men focus on when they think about doing better with women is what they have to offer women. They think about how they can sell themselves to women; what women have to gain from them. Their value. Being impressive, taking women on fun dates, getting muscular, showing off their successes, having cool stories to tell – all these are ways to better display what you have to offer to a woman.

Much of what we focus on on the attraction side for men at Girls Chase focuses on bolstering what you have to offer, too. With better fundamentals you become a man women are more and more interested in. And with better game you make it easier and easier to showcase your attractive sides and find ways to get girls to go come with you.

Yet there’s another side of the equation to any value offering. It is not just how valuable something is, but also what its costs are.

That’s ‘costs’ plural, because there are always multiple costs to anything you acquire or add to your life. Costs like:

• Time: how much time does it take to get this thing?

• Money: do you need to spend money to get it? If so, how much?

• Image: are there costs to your image if you acquire this thing?

• Motivation: do you have to exert willpower or fight inertia to get this thing?
  

• Opportunity: by choosing this option, do you give up something else?

... and more.

When it comes to dating and seduction, every woman you meet faces these and other costs when she considers you.

When your girl is into you but you think she’ll resist first-date sex out of fears of getting played, this is how you can safely bring up a second date.

For most guys in most situations, it’s advisable to avoid setting up the second date during the first – or even setting up the third date during the second.

The risk of being so forward is that you play your cards early. Instead of waiting for her to tell you she wants to see you again – which can and will happen if you give her a great date – you should be the one to propose the second date.

You can potentially betray too much interest and come off as the one chasing.

For guys who have a more relaxed style, show little emotion, and prefer to be smooth and cool, I would advise against using the method in this article.

However, for those who have a more upbeat style, or for guys who find themselves having an attainability issue, either due to the player problem (i.e., she thinks you’re a player and doubts your intentions beyond sex) or from being too high value, you can use this more forward approach to prevent a girl from going into auto-rejection.

Let’s go through the two prerequisites for setting up a second date while on the first.

Sex won’t happen as quickly if she sees you as a potential boyfriend. Avoid boyfriend qualities and behaviors, and she won’t feel the need to wait for sex.

Girls generally want three types of men in their lives.

Lovers. Men they see as potential sex mates who may or may not be available for longer-term flings. They end up falling the most in love with these men because they are men who make it clear from the get-go what they want from her – sex – and she respects that. They have mostly a sexual value but can also have romantic value to her.

Orbiters. These are men women draw into their lives with some light flirting. Women give these men a sense that maybe something might happen if he provides her with emotions and/or social connections (a job, money, etc.), or they make it clear to the guy that he’s only a friend – but he hopes that might change some day. He has little-to-no sexual or romantic value to her.

Boyfriends. These are men women find cute or charming but seem a bit safer than some rascal lover. They can see themselves dating these men or even marrying them. The most elite of men can straddle the line between a lover and boyfriend quite well, which helps with higher-caliber women who don’t hook up with strangers too often. But most men who are boyfriend types are strictly boyfriend types.

At Girls Chase, we advise readers to focus on enhancing their position as a lover, since it’s the best route to go. Going the “I want to be your boyfriend” route takes more time than it takes to be a lover. Why?

Have social media and dating apps made modern dating disposable? Not quite – the problem goes back farther than them, to mid-20th Century “throw-away culture.”

Two months back, a reader asked the following question:

“Hey Chase could you possible do an article discussing whether men are disposable due to online services like Tinder & Co.? I mean when a man doesn’t put out a good performance on date, a woman can just say “next!” and go on Tinder for more endless matches. I currently feel that way and I thought another perspective man bring some fresh air.”

It’s a pertinent question... although not as new of one as apps like Tinder might suggest.

American society (dating apps like Tinder originate from America too) has been accused as far back as 1955 as being a ‘throwaway society’. We have articles on the American habit of throwing away too much; articles that accuse corporations of being at least partly to blame, building things not to last or to become obsolete so consumers pay to upgrade to more recent versions. Other discussions focus on the abundance of material goods in our society, which by extension causes us to devalue those same goods.

This isn’t limited only to the economy and material wealth, either.

There are articles all over the Internet about disposable dating culture. Here’s an article that talks about disposable dating in New York and San Francisco. Here’s a blog post from a woman who talks about ‘recycling’ all the men she’s dated back into the dating pool. Here’s a more general one that discusses how to know if you’ve been in a ‘disposable relationship’.

You could make an argument that some portion of Girls Chase philosophy treats dating relationships like disposable goods. The recommendation to replace rather than chase assumes romantic partners are substitutable goods, and you can ditch one and get another one. The basis behind the advice in articles like “Can’t Stop Thinking About Her” and “Just Friends: A Man’s Worst Nightmare” is this too. I strongly recommend these articles and the perspectives in them, of course; they are necessary tools for navigating the romantic terrain in any developed, urbanized society. However, they reflect upon the nature of dating in a society like that as well as they teach how to navigate it.

Dating apps (like Tinder, Bumble, and Bagel Meets Coffee) ultimately are just the latest iteration of this modern American approach to personal relationships.

But is our approach these days truly disposable? Is it so only with men, or with women too? And if dating has become disposable, how much of online dating and social media is the culprit?