Socializing

A lot of guys are too considerate to get what they want out of life. It’s not that being inconsiderate is the key, it’s that sometimes you need to be inconsiderate to get the things you want. Our society venerates meek behavior but at the same time it rewards people who have the ability to be selfish.

It’s not about being completely one or the other though, it’s about knowing when to be what. But in order to know when to be inconsiderate, you have to learn how to do it properly.

If you’re reading a site like Girls Chase, there’s a fairly good chance you’re a rather defiant, rebellious, countercultural individual to some extent:

• You’ve got the whole of mainstream dating advice telling you to ‘just be yourself’ and wish upon a star and the right girl will come along if you just wait long enough, and any girl who doesn’t like you, well, that’s her problem, because you’re perfect as-is.

• You’ve got legions of nice guys out there swamping the radio with the tragic tales of the women who’ve cheated on them and broken their hearts, and drowning the theaters and television stations with romantic comedies that depict them losing women again and again to the bad boy until finally, one day, the girl realizes she’s tired of hooking up with sexy bad boys and wants someone who isn’t going to break her heart for the long-term, and there’s Mr. Nice Guy, ready to sweep up the pieces of her broken heart and try to heal and fix her with marriage.

• You’ve got women themselves telling you they don’t even like all those sexy guys they have sex with, and you should just stay the way they are and don’t change one bit. Don’t worry, someday when she’s done with the bad boys, you may yet get your shot with her.

• You’ve got the downers, who want you to know it’s impossible to get girls if you don’t have movie star looks, investment banker income, basketball player height, and the right racial background.

• You’ve even got books like The Game telling you you just need to memorize a few tricks, learn a few routines, and then basically repeat this script with every girl, and the flood gates will open up.

Yet, somehow, you’ve ended up here, studying the nuances of various tactics, fundamentals, and abilities, and coming at doing better with women in a systematic, skill-based way, where you mix experimentation and good old fashioned elbow grease to achieve the results you desire with women (whatever those results may be).

It’s pretty obvious you’re a defiant personality type... or at the very least, you’ve stumbled in here and are feeling defiance toward many of those other people and sources of information telling you to do things this way or that.

That brings me to today’s cautionary tale: be careful whom you’re defying.

Because defiance, improperly aimed, can be as big a handicap as it can a helper.

It’s frustrating as all get-out when things are going swell with a gal, only for her to suddenly pull out a trick you haven’t seen before and BLAM! You’re blindsided, floundering, and she’s lost interest.

These are commonly referred to as ‘tests’, but, as mentioned in my latest newsletter (which you’ve either received already, or will soon, if you’re signed up for the Girls Chase newsletter), all tests really are is a woman inviting you to flirt.

Flirt well, and her comfort with you goes up. She relaxes... “Ah, okay. This guy really is as cute as I hoped he was.”

The ability to flirt successfully is THE most important part of attraction and seduction... men who can do it succeed regularly with women well above their looks, smarts, and income brackets. Men who can’t struggle to get women with a fraction of their paper credentials.

One component of flirting is the knowledge of how to respond to various themes and patterns you see again and again with girls. That largely comes from experience – you meet enough girls, flirt with enough of them, and you start to see and hear the same objections again and again, and gradually begin to build up a repertoire of responses you’ve cooked up to dismantle these objections.

Before we dive into this one, I recommend reading or rereading these articles, because the base understanding of what is going on is more important for your progress than a handful of memorized responses:

• When Women Test Men
• Secrets to Getting Girls: Addressing Women’s Objections
  
• Why Do Women Test? To Find Dominant Males
• 15 Signs a Girl Will Waste Your Time
  

Also, these four, crucial for being able to respond to ‘tests’ in attractive ways:

• How to Flirt with a Girl
• Teasing a Girl the Right Way
• Tactics Tuesdays: Mastering Playful Banter with Women
• How to Be Playful: 4 Tips You’ll NEED
  

That done, let’s arm you with some go-to responses for some of the most frequent objections you’re likely to encounter.

IMPORTANT NOTE: when we look at responses below, keep in mind that the type of response depends upon how the objection is delivered. The same words can be used in wholly different ways. For instance, if a woman tells you, “I will never sleep with you,” and she says it in a sexy voice while leaning in and grinning at you, that’s a categorically different kind of objection than if she leans back with a look of disgust on her face, crosses her arms, looks off into the distance, and then says, “I will never sleep with you.”

“Why don’t these sorority girls like me?”

I asked myself that question for four years. At parties, I would see them hooking up with guys who I knew were not as attractive as me and were half as interesting, but here I was surrounded by guys who all looked, walked, and talked the same, and yet I was going home empty-handed. At first I thought it was a race thing. I am African American and Indian, the girls I was pursuing were Southern white women, but that wasn’t the case. I had black friends who were in frats that had no problems with sorority girls.

I graduated without figuring out why girls would rather go for a guy who’s just like the rest than a guy who’s different. It wasn’t until I had traveled the world and dated all types of backgrounds, did I realize what was keeping me from bedding these sorority girls.

The issue was that I wasn’t playing their game.

Think about this: these girls had invested thousands of dollars to be part of Greek life. They spent hours a week devoted to their sorority, and even more time talking about their group. Their sorority determined what they wore, how they talked, and who they dated.

So why would they choose to date a guy who wasn’t invested in that reality at all?

In a comment on my article “In Seduction, “You” Don’t Matter (But Her Emotions Do)”, a commenter who dubs himself ‘Enlightened’ left the following remark:

“This article seems to suggest that women care more about what you can do for them and how those actions make them feel vs what they can do for you. It’s very much important about what they deduce they can get if they stick around with you. Is this correct? If so, how does this sentiment vary by country and across the world? If this is correct, then why should men pursue women at all when ultimately all he is to a woman is a talking dildo?”

Now, in case you haven’t read this article or skimmed over the part Enlightened is referring to, my point was twofold – that:

1. When people meet someone new, they evaluate him on value and attainability – essentially, how valuable does this new person appear to be, and how accessible is that value of his?
   

2. Once someone has spent a longer period of time with another individual (say, perhaps, 80 to 100 hours?), he begins to form a real attachment to this person, and begins to want the best for him, care for him, and deeply understand and empathize with him – however, this connection is only formed with time; it is not instantaneous
   

Enlightened may have missed that latter part and only zeroed in on the part that raised his ire, so he may not necessarily be guilty of the following mindset. However, I have noticed there is a distinct minority of men who stumble onto this site (supposedly stumbling in here from places like Reddit, or some manner of MGTOW websites and forums) who think point #1 is totally unreasonable in all circumstances – at least, for other people.

They still judge others by the value they present to their lives, and how attainable those others are. However, they believe they themselves should be exempted from this.

That they are special, and entitled to special breaks from the rules they expect of others.

Mindsets like this are a product of a world replete with advertising and feel-good messages designed to make you feel like you deserve honor, respect, and everything your heart desires, merely for breathing. I rarely if ever encounter this mentality outside the West. However, it’s ubiquitous among the more radical elements of Western feminists, men’s rights advocates, and ‘men going their own way’.

In this post, I challenge you to break free from slavery to the mindset TV commercials, magazine ads, and now even much (most?) of the Western education system do their darnedest to instill in you, and to instead adopt the manliest, most liberating, most self-reliant mindset there is on Planet Earth:

Nobody owes you nothin’.

In a PM, one of our readers asked the following question:

“I know there is a lot of material out there that covers this stuff. However I also know you must do things differently. For example you're probably the only seducer I've read who says you don't care about social proof. To me this makes it clear that you have incredible seduction skills, as you actually overcame this barrier. This is insane to me because so often in bars I feel like girls aren't responding to me well because I don't have social proof. And when I have girls with me they're much warmer.”

This is a an important thing to take note of, because a lot of pick-up and seduction material out there, especially when it comes to club game, emphasizes how status plays a huge role. The reader is right: I do not care that much about social proof or social status in the club. Still, I believe social proof can be an incredible tool of seduction.

So without any further ado, allow me to break this all down.

Comporting oneself well, removing tics, fidgets, and other nervous gestures, and giving oneself a general bearing of a man of breeding and distinction are some of the foundations of good fundamentals, no matter what identity you strive to embody.