Socializing

It’s New Year’s Eve, and there’s a good chance you’re headed out to a celebration of some sort; big, little, or somewhere in between. In that celebration, there will probably be some single girls, too... many of whom may be looking to ring in the New Year in a fun way.

It is easy to get swept up in the hype of a big night out, but while girls might be dressing provocatively and partying hard, the case is that on New Year’s it is twice as important to not get swept up by the atmosphere and keep your composure.

The key to getting the girl on NYE is to not jump the gun by expecting a big payoff before you get there. You have to keep your expectations subdued and simply go along with whatever the night has to offer.

Even though I sometimes wish it were true, you can’t always just dive in and grab a girl’s panties with your teeth. Most of the time you just have to go with what the night is actually giving you rather than what you want it to give you.

Advantages on NYE do exist, but you need to be precise about what they are and take advantage of them without taking them too far, which is actually kind of a difficult tightrope walk.

On the Girls Chase forums, one of our members named Godsninja shared a sticky situation he found himself in after getting an unpleasant response from a girl he’d traded numbers with and planned to set up a date with. Here’s the gist of it (full post here):

“I got her number and a few days later followed up with our date plan.

I don’t believe I got a text back from her, but I did get a text from another number claiming to be her fiance. Keep in mind this was several months ago, so I don’t remember how the text conversation went, but I remember I was very assertive, and after a few texts back and forth (finding out her fiance is a she), we stopped texting. I stopped texting cuz there wasn’t really a point.

It wasn’t anything serious, kind of awkward, but funny. It started out a little serious but I think I remember suggesting we all have a date together bahah.

...

I was sitting in my car a few hours later and got a text message from an unknown number (her supposed fiance) telling me that I’m an idiot, a stalker, and that she is “gun a go tell/call the cops”, so I told her to go fuck herself because she doesn’t know shit about me, and to come out to the parking lot to ‘talk’. She then reminded me that she was a girl, and I told her she would probably end up kicking my ass anyway. I told her I was really sweaty, and that I’m a good kisser, but I won’t tell anybody. She never replied so I sent a last text telling her not to text me anymore.

After the weekend I got an email telling me I had to attend a non-optional meeting with the Manager of Student Rights and Responsibility. I was reported for intimidation and sexual harassment.”

In this case, this was a pretty unfair situation for GN – he made his approach, took a phone number to set up a date, then got into a nasty text exchange from an unknown number by some person claiming to be this girl’s ‘fiancé’ whom he suspects was actually a female friend or acquaintance of this girl he’d approached.

When he ran into the girl again a semester later, he greeted her, knowing she was familiar but not knowing who she was. As soon as he remembered, he laughed about it, and, not wanting to get sucked back in, bid her adieu.

A few hours later, he received a highly confrontational text message – and then took the bait and got into a texting battle. In the end, the ‘fiancé’ (or whoever s/he was) reported him for ‘harassment’ to the university, railroading his focus and studies – he got off with a warning, but the instigators of the whole thing (the other two people) saw no consequences themselves whatsoever.

Situations like this are rare – you can approach 1,000 girls a year and something like this will only happen to you once or twice, maybe.

However, how you deal with such scenarios can make all the difference between letting awful people like this have a really bad, negative impact on your life, and preventing them from having any meaningful impact at all.

If only a woman just saw you better and gave you that chance to say your piece you would have the time and motivation to do your best, right?

We all like to think we are pretty handy, when push comes to shove. We think that if we throw ourselves into something head first or are given the opportunity we will knock it out of the park. Sadly, the reality is that often we choke or let the opportunity pass us by out of a fear of failure. We don’t capitalize on opportunities, and we often even discourage them, treating them like annoyances to be purged instead of chances to grow.

We enjoy thinking of ourselves as champions who will come out on top at the moment of truth, but the reality is usually much more awkward, and the solutions are somewhat unavailable to ordinary perception at first glance, so we try to bury those opportunities instead of trying to grasp them.

No one likes feeling awkward or blind, so we try to suppress our fears of failure through negotiation. It gives an illusion of sophistication or thoughtfulness that is socially accepted. In certain cultures and time periods it is extremely prevalent; arranged marriages, cultural dress, duties, etc. And it is all arranged in a way that takes certain social status away from the woman to limit her options in order to make her more pliable. We forget that it is affecting her life in a negative way to unsuccessfully enhance our own.

Being unreactive to challenging situations is often the strongest option available to you. When a girl is testing you hard, someone is publicly belittling you, or things are just generally going crazy and spiraling out of control, the most nonplussed, nonchalant man typically wins: he shows dominance, control, and unflappability.

However, sometimes the calm of unreactiveness must be set aside, and situations simply need dealing with.

Sometimes the girl testing you needs to be set straight; sometimes person belittling you needs to be put in his place; sometimes the crazy situation requires you to place both hands on the wheel and make things sane again.

If you react in situations where remaining unreactive is ideal, you violate the Law of Least Effort and appear tryhard; yet, if you fail to react in situations where your reaction is sorely needed, you seem weak, fearful, and indecisive.

That makes things necessarily a bit trickier, because there isn’t a perfect one-size-fits-all response to every situation; sometimes it’s better to not react, other times better to react.

To know which one is called for, you must have a read on the specific situation... and you must be able not to bow to social pressure.

Hey studs,

Welcome to the third and final entry of The Best College Seduction Styles series. Parts 1 and 2 here and here.

If “lolwut?” was your first reaction to the wildcard name, we’re off to a good start.

Wildcard

Examples of Wildcard: Russell Brand, Dr. Who (Matt Smith), or any really eccentric cat you know who pulls mad tail.

Explaining this style is a bit difficult. I had to spend a lot of time with a good friend over the past few months to understand his antics.

However, I have cracked his code, and, just because I love you all, I’ve included an analysis of another baller seducer I know as well. The diverse perspective this article offers should help illuminate the Wildcard style. These guys’ styles are VERY different, but they share a common trait that is characteristic of the Wildcard.

I had a tiresome dialogue on a long train ride yesterday where I found myself being sidetracked on irrelevancies in what originally seemed like it’d be an engaging conversation.

Throughout the course of this unfortunately lengthy conversation (it was a 6 hour train ride), this man repeatedly ignored points I’d made, talked over me, and argued with me over the most tangential points to our primary conversation subject.

The tragedy to me was that the conversation had started off with the possibility of being truly engrossing, only for my seatmate to repeatedly divert us to arguing over semantics like the definition of the word ‘training’ (which didn’t even matter; we could’ve used any other word if we had different definitions for what constitutes training and what doesn’t, but my interlocutor couldn’t let it go).

The funny thing was that repeatedly throughout this conversation, this fellow brought up wanting to trade numbers with me, to meet up with me again and bring me along to some free class he was attending, and other things of that nature; and he kept offering me food he had with him and even bought me a bottled water off the drink cart when it came by and I wasn’t present (and I didn’t have any small bills to pay him back for it). The entire time he kept telling me I could pay him back the next time I saw him, which only made me grate my teeth more.

I felt like a pretty girl being hounded by a really nice but really clueless and annoying guy. I kept hoping someone was going to come along and save me. Because it was a packed train ride, there wasn’t anywhere else I could escape to, either (though in retrospect I suppose I could’ve snuck off to the meal car; didn’t think of it). Eventually I was able to let this conversation die long enough for me to fall into a nap and be free.

It occurred to me that this man probably does this with everyone; he enters into these alienating conversations with people, tries to lecture them, ignores any indication that they may know as much or more about a subject than he does, and gets sidetracked on irrelevancies. And that can happen to anyone who’s reasonably educated and passionate about a subject from time to time; I’m sometimes (on rare occasions) guilty of this myself, too.

Yet, had this fellow known the value of talking less, instead of struggling so mightily to be heard and to be right, he wouldn’t have needed to resort to bribery and manipulation to try to coax me into meeting him.

He could’ve simply given me the chance to talk a little bit, and genuinely engaged with me instead.

This is the follow up to “Classroom Body Language and Other Casual Situations”.

Women don’t see the world logically; when it comes to body language they explicitly avoid logic and instead just “feel” things out. They generally don’t think “Oh it is okay that that guy chose a corner” or “Well he just wasn’t feeling social today”, they generally take things you do as if it relates to them somehow and end up thinking you don’t like girls or are “usually grumpy” or something.

So if you want to get good at body language in a confined space, like in a classroom, you will need to act as if women will never hear your rationalizations for acting passive.

In the absence of girls reading you logically, you need to pay attention to what you do:

• Positioning
• Social momentum and how it is affecting your mood
• How it might relate to her

Most guys just look for where to sit in a very logical way, but it is here at the start that their body language is set into motion to be bland, as they don’t care about what they are doing around women and lack appreciation for their environment and what their positioning communicates. Try to never just randomly pick a spot or let the crowd push you into a corner. It is okay to feel exposed; it will force you to stop playing around and think about your body language.

Great body language will allow you to sit anywhere openly.

Few people know this, but body language relies on social momentum, so never cut and run from exposure; never shroud your shoulders and turn away from everything. Small social interactions fuel body language, and this fuel is necessary to highlight how you feel about women to the women who look at you.