Socializing

There are a lot of expectations and fears clashing with each other when you reach college, and it is easy to get lost in what just comes easiest socially, romantically, and sexually.

But what is the approach you must take to open your mind and achieve some great results and memories while there?

The most common approach to socializing, fraternizing, and dating in college is a “build it and they will come” philosophy, or “let us wait and see”, because we expect things to magically change and don’t want to rely on who we are because “like always” there is a greater risk involved in taking initiative due to the perceived separation it creates from you (the action taker) and others (the majority of people doing what the majority does, following the same wait and see approach).

And if you are separate from the people around you, “how can you capitalize on the social abundance that is talked about?” you wonder.

Talking effectively is about more than just knowing how to talk: it is about knowing why to talk.

Never simply waste your effort being a blabber mouth; have a direction, a purpose, and, if nothing else, be conducive to the atmosphere you are looking to build by acting in line with it.

Leading a conversation is essential for helping people lose their anxieties and feel comfortable around you. To achieve that task you have to step up to the plate and avoid the trap of being dependent on others to do all the lifting. You then need to guide the conversation topics in a way that reflects what direction you are thinking of moving in.

We’ve discussed various different avenues men use (and you can tap) to meet new women on here in the past:

• Day game
  
• Social circle
• Bars and clubs
• Dating at work
• Girls out shopping
• Online dating
• Mass transit
  
• Beach game
• Gym game
  

I favor cold approach personally, but you can certainly make social circle or workplace dating or online work, and in fact that’s how most men meet their women.

And that’s what I want to talk about today: how you meet women and barriers to entry to those avenues.

Because in a lot of ways, meeting girls is just like doing business, and barriers to entry are no exception; the lower these are, the higher the competition, and the tinier the rewards.

Setting a good foundation socially can set you up to stumble across receptive girls and make the process of meeting new ones almost automatic.

Most guys who are great with women eventually develop this skill as a result of developing their attitude and then naturally falling into it, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t take away some good things at your current level by becoming aware of some foundations of sociability.

I’m going to go over quite a bit here in bullet form, and then I’m going to give you a bit of a run down on why the points are key. Some might seem really common sense, others less, but overall you want to look at the big picture and measure in your own mind how you are addressing these points now and how that compares to something more ideal.

I want to make a brief side trip from seduction today to talk about a broader social distinction you will run into that it’s vitally important to understand.

That is the distinction between artificial hierarchies and personal appeal.

In the broader social arena, when it comes to getting hired on jobs, or dealing with legal issues, or negotiating mano-e-mano, or differentiating even between social circle game and cold approach pickup, you’ll find that most people seem to be stronger in one area – navigating and leveraging artificial hierarchies, or appealing to and swaying individuals personally – than they are the other.

And when you’re in your element, you will often find things easier; conversely, when you’re out of it, things will often become fiendishly hard and you will not know why.

The reason why frequently is because you’re trying to achieve your objectives using the wrong strategy for the situation at hand... because each of these two types of power structures require very different approaches.

Very few people ever come to grasp this well enough to move fluidly back and forth between the two.

What’s the greatest single key to being able to converse with girls in a relaxed way, not put too much pressure on yourself, be sexual, and then pull them home?

It’s not looks. It’s not confidence. It’s not being well-dressed. These aspects are all important, however, the single greatest key to being able to converse with any girl is momentum.

You can take the most talented, socially suave guy in the world, and throw him in a social situation on an off day, and he’ll look like an awkward, uncalibrated beginner.

And every guy who gets consistent success with girls understands the principle of momentum. Especially because the high value men understand what it means to work extremely hard. When you spend all day on the grindstone – on your computer, on pieces of paper, on the phone… the last thing you feel like is a social dynamo when you step out of the door.

That’s why you need to learn to converse with anyone and everyone around you.

If you can learn how to start a conversation with anyone, you can learn how to get yourself warmed up and talking to the hottest girls in any situation. And it’s no pressure, it’s not like you’ll ever see these people again (or maybe if you make a good connection, you could).

Sounds easy, right? So why doesn’t every guy go and start a conversation with anyone and everyone?

This question is exactly what I’m going to address today, along with how you can overcome your own fear of strangers and use conversations with anyone in any situation to help boost your energy and get you ready to seduce the hottest of women.

Let’s go.

Selfishness has never been a glorified trait among humanity. Caring chiefly about one’s own needs is frequently named as one of the greatest threats to society and causes of degeneration and degradation within it.

After all, a selfish man is supposed to be a guy who offers nothing to society. He’s nothing but some leech that cares about himself, and he’ll go to great lengths just to put down others so he can stay on top.

…Right?

Au contraire. Used in the wrong capacity, sure, selfishness could certainly hurt others. However, being selfish, in of itself, is not bad. Thinking about it as a negative trait, however, may certainly be introducing a daily dose of cognitive dissonance to your life.

Such dissonance comes to the fore as you finally realize the inevitable fact that everyone has selfish tendencies.

We all aim to promote ourselves first, followed by others. Throw a big steak in front of you while you’re starving, and have the option to leave it there for someone else or die, and you’re eating that steak.

Survival is coded into our biology.

However, society promotes the idea that leaving the steak would be more admirable. Promoting ourselves over others is bad, and we should instead seek to help others over ourselves.

The conflict between society’s vaunted ideal of selflessness versus your biological desire to tend to your own needs mounts and builds, and eventually people are left attempting to help each other become better, but never helping themselves become better, even though they are the only ones who can do so.

And that, my friends, leads us in a perfect circle of solving nothing.