Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad

Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad

Approaching Girls in Bars, Clubs in a Laid Back Way

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By: Alek Rolstad

TEXTNot every approach to night game needs to be hyper. There are chill ways to approach girls at night too – like “Quiet Sniper” and “The Classic Approach.”

Hi guys and welcome back.

Today, I would like to discuss alternative openings in night game. Recently, I have focused on high-energy approaches. I covered an opening and hook strategy about attention grabs. These can trigger a response from girls to test their compliance before you open.

This approach requires you to be in a social mood and have high energy. It may also help if you are naturally extroverted.

But what if you are not extroverted? What if you are but do not feel like being overly social, playful, and energetic? Even outgoing guys can be socially tired and need time to cool off.

If you have experience, you may know this, but certain forms of night game are often the first choice for introverted men. Some of the best night gamers are introverted, even our own Cody Lyans, who is inactive right now.

How & Why to Switch Vibes Talking to Girls (Anti-Dancing Monkey Technique)

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By: Alek Rolstad

fractionation for more hooksWhen you talk to girls, it’s easy to become ‘trapped’ in a vibe: too-serious guy, or overly-funny ‘dancing monkey’. The way out: learn to swap out vibes.

Hi guys, welcome back.

Last week, I discussed opening and hooking girls in loud environments. In these situations, your verbal game is limited, and you cannot hear each other well. You need to rely on non-verbal communication and timing. We suggested walking by girls and giving out attention baits to catch their attention, and test compliance. If you get a positive response, you can open her.

It helps to be silly, fun, and stimulating to catch girls’ attention. Some men struggle with that (and I may write a post on this soon). Many have a different problem: they are hilarious, entertaining, and stimulating and have an easy time opening and hooking, but this can lock them into a frame of “the entertainer,” “dancing monkey,” or “funny guy.” All are contrary to a seductive vibe and can lead to problems later when it is time to isolate, escalate, and seduce.

Does this problem sound familiar? This post is for you.

Note that the advice in this post is valid for any phase and strategy in seduction, whether it’s day or night game. I will focus on the hook phase of night game using a strategy with humor as an extreme case that exemplifies the point. I will also touch on day game. So, this post is for you, dear day gamers.

Approaching Girls in a Risk-Free Way (Drive-By Approaches)

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By: Alek Rolstad

TEXTWhat if you could approach with minimal risk of rejection? With drive-by approaching, you can. See how to use it in loud, chaotic venues where (ordinarily) high rejection risks abound.

Hi all. I hope you are doing well.

Now that I’ve finished discussing wingmanning, I’d like to share some notes from the field. Today, I will discuss a strategy specific to night game: how to use different tools in various situations, and in what sequence. This post is not about X technique, but how to apply X technique in Y situation.

Today, I’ll explore how to open and hook in loud, chaotic venues.

People have told me to always focus on non-verbals, and even if that’s true, delivering fancy verbals in loud environments can be counterproductive. Girls cannot hear nor decipher what you are saying, forcing you to repeat (not good), yell (bad), or lean in (even worse). And if she does hear you, a girl may misunderstand what you say. Also, hearing what she says is difficult, so it’s hard for you to calibrate. If things do not work out, you must try to damage control verbally. So, what can you do?

Focusing on non-verbals may seem like good advice at first. You may go entirely non-verbal, which is more of a dance floor strategy. However, many venues may not have a dance floor, and they are still chaotic and noisy. In those settings, you may still need some verbals.

Your verbals must be simple: more human with spikier stimulation. However, you have little control over the outcome unless you meet the right girl, hit all your timings, and deliver suitable material.

So, you must rely on your non-verbals, but what does that really mean? Most who talk about non-verbal communication fail to specify what that is. Is it touching? (This can be tricky to do with a stranger.) Eye contact? Proximity? (Also, tricky), or “Good body language”? (But what is good body language? This is too vague).

I will put everything together comprehensively in this post, focusing on TIMING.

Sex Talk Tonality: How to Use Your Voice During Sex Talk

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By: Alek Rolstad

sex talk tonalityWhat voice tone should you use when you talk to women about sex? Guys often get it wrong, talking too excited – but you’ll usually want normal tonality, not eager.

Hi everyone, and welcome back.

Those of you who read this blog know that my signature technique is sex talk. Talking about sex is a safe and rejection-free way to set a sexual frame. This helps convey that you are a safe and good lover (sexual prizing).

The idea is NOT to be direct and “say what you want to do to her,” as many imagine when hearing the term “sex talk,” but rather to talk about sexuality and related topics as any other subject to make the interaction about sex (set a sexual frame). The girl you are talking with will realize that you know what you are doing in bed without explicitly showing any particular interest in her, as this can trigger resistance and perhaps even a rejection (it becomes too much too quick for her).

I have discussed this in-depth at in “Sleazy Sexy Talk vs. Sexy Sex Talk: What’s the Difference?”

You may also check out my forum post, which compiles all the sex talk articles and more. These include every theoretical post about sex talk, how to talk about sex in a safe and non-creepy way, calibrating sex talk, how to transition into it, as well as many different gambits and examples.

I have not yet written a post on voice tonality and sex talk. Better late than never; here it is!

Sex Talk Gambit: Female Submission

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By: Alek Rolstad

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Today, I’ll discuss a gambit I love: the female submission gambit. I have been using this a lot lately and it is part of my current stack.

This gambit was originally from a 2019 forum post. See Sex Talk: The Submission Gambit.

I’d like to make this information available to a broader audience. I have successfully used this gambit, so I wrote a blog post about it. I'll include more details, comments, and analysis, then thoroughly explain the female submission gambit because it deserves it. Even better, this gambit is highly relevant today.

Sex Talk Gambit: Independent Woman

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By: Alek Rolstad

independent woman gambitIn this simple-to-run sex talk gambit, easily transition into sex topic with a topic every woman loves to discuss: strong, independent women.

Hi guys, welcome back. Today, it is time for a sex-talk gambit.

Gambit posts are examples of themes I use that have been extensively and successfully field-tested. This post provides examples of how to deliver a sex-talk gambit, the independent woman gambit, followed by an analysis of why it works.

I’ll describe the gambit and then present an example. Feel free to word it to suit you. I will likely not word the gambit the same way presented here the next time I go out. In field, I remember the theme and key moments and will freestyle, keeping in mind the different mechanisms happening in my setting. By doing so, I can calibrate as factors come into play or, even better, find ways to accentuate them.

To be clear, even though I do not repeat the gambit exactly as presented here, chances are that I am likely to deliver something along the lines of what I describe below. Your version may differ slightly.

Aside from wording the gambit to your style, you can take this (and any other gambit) as inspiration to create a gambit covering similar themes. You could even use different themes using the same mechanisms or try different mechanisms using this theme. So, field test and see what works.

The idea is that this gambit:

  • Conveys that you are skilled in bed or that you are knowledgeable about women and sexuality

  • Communicates that you are a safe lover and have a good understanding of sex’s implications for women (slut-shaming, pregnancy risks, etc.)

  • May arouse her (if you choose to be more explicit)

If you score favorably on a few factors, this may be a good gambit. Only extensive field testing will give a clear answer about whether it works. If it works but not as well as you’d hope, see if there are ways you can tweak it.

Strategic Calibration in the Field with Girls

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By: Alek Rolstad

strategic calibrationWhen you are “in the field” with women, it pays to be able to adapt your girl-getting strategies on the fly. Savvy strategic calibration helps you do this.

Hey guys and welcome back.

My students seek coaching to learn new material and understand what material to use, when, and in what order. They leave knowing when and how to use all types of material in a seduction context.

It's essential information for a successful seducer. What differentiates the pro from the intermediate is that the pro has this snap that less experienced guys lack. And that snap comes from pristine timings.

Good timings come from using the right material at the right time. When you learn this, your material truly hits-you get 100 % of its effect. A mistimed use of material will make it come off much duller and you'll obtain weaker results. This type of calibration is meso calibration, which means knowing which techniques to use and when.

Pros typically deliver techniques smoothly and calibrated: not too much or too little of the good stuff. This falls into the micro calibration category.

The third dimension is micro calibration, which is choosing which overarching strategy to opt for. Did you select the right strategy for the venue tonight? Did you choose the right venue?

For more, read about the three dimensions in the first part of this series, here:

Strategic Calibration: 3 Levels of Seductive Adjustment

Today, I want to guide you through thinking about strategic calibration in-field. It may inspire you to find your own way of reflecting on calibration while out. Other experienced guys may think a bit differently from me, although I I believe their thoughts follow a similar pattern.

Below is an example of how I think about calibration in-field. It is only an example. I hope these examples inspire you.

Let's begin by reviewing a few questions to ask yourself in-field that will help you make better decisions.

3 Ways Bias Can Impede the Learning Process

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By: Alek Rolstad

identifying learning process biasesEverybody wants to learn to do better. Yet some of the ways we can think about learning actually impede our progress – even while we THINK they HELP!

In the past few weeks, we’ve talked about post-field diagnostics. This is when you analyze your performance after each outing to identify potential problems and come up with solutions. I also recommended that you take time to reflect on what you did right so you can learn from those experiences, too.

It’s easier said than done, so I am sharing one more post to help with your overall diagnostics and train you to become your own coach.

Today, I will cover three typical biases men face when troubleshooting their game and propose solutions.

These biases are very common. I bet that at least one of the three biases concerns you. It will help your game development if you know how and why it happens so that you do not fall for these biases.

First, let’s answer an important question that most may be asking. You will quickly see how this question refers to the biases we will uncover.

Post-Field Diagnostics: More Variables

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By: Alek Rolstad

more variables to consider in your post-field diagnosticsAs you analyze your outings once you are out of the field, don’t forget these additional variables: the social frame of the venue, your mood, and more.

Hey guys and welcome back.

For the last two weeks, we have been talking about post-field diagnostics. This process involves analyzing our night, to reconstruct and evaluate it to determine what we did, why we did it, and what impact it had. Our goal is to understand the events that occurred, identify what was done correctly and what wasn't, understand why they happened, and decide what steps to take in the future to improve the outcome.

In my first installment, I reviewed the basics of post-field diagnostics-what it is and when to do it. Last week, I covered the most critical factors: analyzing the interaction and the social context, and ruling out possible external factors.

It's important to master the material from the previous two weeks while keeping in mind that today's variables may still be relevant. These variables are overarching and add an additional layer of analysis that can take your post-field diagnostics to the next level.

The three variables are:

  1. #1 Venue culture and social dynamics - Did you fit in? Did you calibrate to the overall vibe and culture there?

  2. #2 Venue strategy - Did you apply the correct strategy for the venue?

  3. #3 Your mood - How did your mood affect your results and strategic choices?

Let's go through each variable.

Important Variables of Post-Field Diagnostics

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By: Alek Rolstad

key variables in post-field diagnosticsAfter a night (or day) out in the field, you need to review your outing to see what worked – and didn’t. Focus on these key variables for the biggest improvements.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Last week, I discussed post-field diagnostics, the assessment you conduct after an outing to pinpoint mistakes and highlight positive moves that help your interaction.

Why should you invest your time in post-field diagnostics? The answer is simple-it's a surefire way to maximize learning from each outing and boost your success rate. As you become better at post-field diagnostics, your progress will soar. You'll develop a profound understanding of pickup and seduction, women, and social dynamics over time. This knowledge will empower you to calibrate, leading to better performance in-field: you intuitively know what to do and when. You'll become adept at strategic calibration, macro-calibration, meso-calibration, and micro-calibration.

In a nutshell, you will become a better seducer.

Last time, we went through the purposes and perspectives of post-field assessment. We ended with a checklist:

  1. What happened? Re-visualize the outing and specific interactions.

  1. What did you do? Think about each interaction phase and what you did.

  1. How did she react? Good or bad? Did it work or not?

  1. What worked? And what didn't? What caused her to react poorly? What made her respond well?

  1. Why did it work, or why not? Why did she react positively or negatively to what you did?

  1. How could you have damage-controlled a poor reaction? How could you have made a good reaction better? Are there other moves you should have made?

  1. Is there anything you could have done differently?

  1. Were there external factors that may have affected the outcome? (More on this next week).

Today, I will expand this list. I will provide three dimensions to consider when using this assessment.