Is Cold Approach Pickup Right for Me?
Cold approach pickup – where you pick up a woman you didn’t previously know – can be tough. Who’s it right for… and are you a man who can learn to use it?Commenting on my recent article about dumb moves guys make on dates (which itself is unrelated to cold approach, except that if you cold approach a girl you might need to take her on a date), a reader named Mr. Loco declares his unequivocal rejection of cold approach pickup, along with his feelings on who cold approach CAN be for:
I think I've had to come into a realization that I just came into. And it's a big one since I've been taught it since day.
COLD APPROACHING IS INEFFECTIVE
Here's my philosophy on cold approach. As a guy. You shouldn't cold approach women romantically at all unless you can answer these 4 questions. And Three of these questions relate to yourself. And answer honestly. If you can't say yes to at least 1 of these questions. Then you shouldn't cold approach.
Are you very physically attractive. And don't lie to yourself. Do you get alot of likes on social media on your personal pics? Do you get alot of matches on OLD? Do women often stop in their tracks when you show up? Do alot of women compliment you?
Do you have a shit ton of game? Are women always laughing your jokes? Can you smoothly transition from topic to topic? Can you easily find great conversation to talk about? Do you know how to easily emotional connect with the girl? Are you remaining somewhat mysterious? Can you get her to open up to you? Do you use very useful pickup lines? Are you smoothly flirtatious? Can you seductively talk to her that's sexy? Can you turn her own with your words? Can you easily overcome alot of logistical issues? Can you tease her in the right way? Do you know how to keep her guessing? Do you not how to be unavailable?
Is the woman that you want to be approach giving you heavy signals that she wants you to Approach. I guess this is kinda cheating because that would technically be warm approach. But if the women is giving you signals and not just her just being friendly signals. Do approach women if they trying to be super subtle. Because they are usually hard to read anyway. Don't waste your time.
Are you a glutton for punishment? Can you approach 100 women and not feel shit if every women rejects you? Can you go on 20 interviews not get the job and not give a damn?
If you said yes to one of these questions than yeah cold approach. However if you said no to all these questions.... Then no.. you should never cold approach. Its a gigantic waste of time.
I used to buy the whole stick on cold approach but Frankly. NO MORE. I think this is a VERY outdating concept that just makes men hate themselves even more and more with each passing minute. It's just a way for the only attractive men to improve their chances. It's not for most men. Because most men are not one of the four things. I think the new age of dating coaches should actually stop teaching this to young men. It's harmful more than anything.
The simple fact is that the vast majority of men who attempt cold approach pickup are going to wash out of it, like Mr. Loco here. It is not an ‘easy’ way to meet women as a beginner unless a guy already has a number of traits and skillsets developed coming in. Most men lack these; they enter cold approach like fresh babes, naked and screaming. Like fresh babes naked and screaming is also how most of them exit, too, often rather promptly.
I like Mr. Loco’s idea of a set of questions for determining “who should vs. should not try cold approaching women.” His are not the questions I would recommend though – so I will give my own take here.
Thus let’s talk about who cold approach IS for… and who it is NOT.
In so doing, we will answer the question, “Is cold approach right for me?”
