Mindsets

I’ve recently been talking about fundamentals that help you get your foot into the club scenes, whether it be having the right light-hearted approach, or introducing your personality in a way that embraces the challenges brought on by the club scene.

Here I want to talk about how you really should be merging your persona with your activities when out in public.

First off, let me say, yes, there is a certain stigma and social pressure put on ANYBODY who is active socially in public. People might view you outrageous, unfairly privileged, amoral, or even shame you for being outgoing.

Sometimes, just for waving at a person, someone else may see you as arrogant; or for having a sex life, people can think you “unrealistic” or “irresponsible”; and for being proud of your growth you will face snickers from people that think a man who self improves is “weak” for admitting he is not already perfect.

It is easy to feel uncertain about yourself when any of these judgements are circling you. It can feel like if you make a mistake people are going to make it worse and it will destroy your image.

You will FEEL a resistance to becoming part of any scene because of this feeling of doubt and indecision. And it is natural to close up and think “Well, IF I act conservative enough, then I’ll slip through undetected”. However, for most people, even though they TRY to not get caught out, the fact is, sometimes you just are.

My solution?

Personal integrity.

One of the biggest obstacles for a lot of men when it comes to improving with women is fixating on the wrong thing.

Much of this seems to come from improper understanding of some of the raw basics of attraction.

When you see guys get hung up on one specific characteristic and blame that as the cause of all their woes with women, like the ones I discussed in “I Can’t Get Girls Because Girls Only Want [BLANK]”:

• Race
  
• Height
• Wealth
• Good looks
  

... it’s because they misunderstand attraction.

And when you see guys become (overly) obsessive about improving in one specific area, like muscles or wealth, it’s because they misunderstand attraction.

So how does attraction work?

Because surely, all these things have some impact on attraction... right?

But then, so do fundamentals.

And game.

So if all of them have some impact, then just how do these things all play together to affect a woman’s ultimate degree of attraction for you?

Ever feel like everyone out there wants to take advantage of you and use you for their own ends?

It isn’t the case that everyone does... unfortunately, if you have a certain kind of history, sometimes you may not be able to tell the people who will be good influences in your life with good intentions for you from the people who will be bad influences and only want to take things from you it will not benefit you to give them.

In life, you start off at a disadvantage. You are dependent on others to rear you into adulthood, and usually that goes “okay”; but sometimes it goes in some messed up directions, and sometimes it’s the world’s doing, while other times it is your own ignorance that’s responsible.

This dual possibility leaves a lot of people playing it so safe, or so close to the chest that whether they are harming themselves in the line of fire from forces beyond them, or are getting by “okay”, and so they choose the same path they’ve always been on to get them into adulthood.

Those suffering abuse often take a lot more of it before they see that the source isn’t them and it’s some other weirdo deceiving them and gas-lighting them. Those suffering under their own ignorance cocoon themselves in paranoia and take up vindictive mindsets. Those who get reared “okay” are usually roped into their parent’s troubled relationships or attempts to appear like an unquestionable authority to their child.

No matter which way you spin it, you always end up to some degree dazed and confused, wondering how the hell you got here, and why you couldn’t have just had a no strings attached rearing into adulthood, and a nice introduction into the world upfront.

I've talked a lot on Girls Chase about having foundations, thinking things through, and addressing your ego, and now that I have done that it is time to talk about the real issues men face when trying to learn how to meet girls clubbing.

In my experience, most guys that are going out to clubs trying to figure girls out are en masse coming at the whole issue from the wrong angle. I can't pinpoint or classify the error of the approach precisely, but it always ends the same way - guys taking everything very seriously and getting very stern and upset about the wrong things.

I get why guys going out at night end up frustrated and saddened by the experience, and I would completely feel the same way if I was back in that grind again myself.

However, the big problem here is that guys are aiming for "big wins", and not being patient and accepting enough about "a good process" and improvements coming from within.

When looking back at all my experience with girls, there are a couple of events that still haunt me. Not because I got rejected, not because I bombed out, but because I was so close and failed.

The failure wasn’t due to there being poor logistics, nor was it a rogue friend that pulled her away. These failures were the result of me not standing up at the right moment and being a dominant man. I either pushed off the responsibility on one of my wingmen or the girl. Well, in life and in game, no one is going to do the work for you. This is why I have adopted the mantra “If they won’t, I will.”

This post is going to be set up a little different from my other posts. I am going to bring up two instances where I failed to stand up and take responsibility. I hope the lessons from my nightmares can help your dreams come true.

Among men studying the social arts, women’s ultimate goal is often misinterpreted as the pursuit of sex.

In this article I will describe their real goal and how it is often distorted by those in some form of a scarcity mindset. We will also go much deeper than this, as we will be looking at your real goal as well as women’s.

To begin this subject, I can’t really delay introducing you to the ultimate goal, so, in the spirit of openness, here it is. But before you make your judgement upon it, read the rest of the article and see how your view of it changes.

The ultimate goal (of women AND men) is to free oneself from becoming frozen in fear of judgement… and to do this without hurting or taking advantage of others for one’s own comfort and ease.

Would you like to know what was, and actually still is, my biggest struggle when it comes to seduction? And not just me - this single aspect often ends up putting even the most prolific seducers on dry-spells and is the reason why so many men's "career" in having a promiscuous lifestyle only lasts a few years.

Do I have your curiosity?

Alright, then I won't beat around the bush anymore - it is integrating seduction into your lifestyle and making it sustainable long-term.

You see,

Like many of you, I'm a man on a mission. I have great aspirations and goals for my life and, truth be told, racking up enough notches to give Jack Nicholson a run for his money is NOT one of them.

Don't get me wrong, I love our beautiful ladies as much as the next guy (maybe even more), and in this article I won't try to convince you that getting good with women is not a worthwhile goal - on the contrary, I will try to convince you that it's actually a necessary skill that will help you achieve other goals in your life more efficiently. But only if we're smart about it.

However, even that is not my main goal with this article.

Instead, I would like to share some ideas and strategies on how to incorporate meeting and sleeping with beautiful women into your life and make it sustainable. Or, if you're still struggling, how to get good with women without creating fires in other aspects of your life.

That said, as I will explain in a moment, it wouldn't be honest to say that I have it all figured out and that there's a clear-cut one-strategy-fits-all approach. The tricky part when talking about these subjects is that it takes years to really see if a particular approach worked and if it was even the optimal one to take in the first place.

Which simply means - be smart and try to critically think about what you are reading.

And now, the problem...