Tactics Tuesdays

Sometimes you’re out and about and you meet a girl and take a number from her.

And for whatever reason, she isn’t all that attracted to you.

Yet for whatever reason, she still gives you her phone number.

And then for whatever reason, she agrees to meet up with you.

But you can sense this one is going through the motions.

It might not quite be the friend zone yet, but it’s pretty darn close. And she doesn’t even know you.

So what do you do... just meet up with her anyway and hope you can change her mind?

Well, you CAN do that... but if you don’t have a game plan for it, it’s like opting for a few games of Black Jack when you don’t really understand how to play Black Jack.

There’s some chance you walk away with winnings, but most of the time you’re only going to waste your time, probably going to waste your money, and if your ego’s wrapped up in it you may well take a self-esteem hit too.

So let’s set out some strategy for those “friend zone” dates, and talk:

• Prevention,
• Treatment, and
• Cure
  

I recently counseled one of our senior members from the discussion board on how to rapidly find out a woman’s logistics in the first few minutes of conversation.

In this member’s case, he meets women as he goes about his day in the city, making street stops or chatting up girls in coffee shops whenever one catches his eye.

His problem is he lives outside the city, and often faces resistance from women having them agree to come out where he lives. In fact, he’s usually only able to do this with women who are already sold on him – which means he ends up leaving lays on the table... lays with women he could get, if he had better (in-city) logistics.

My recommendation was for him to begin to screen women for logistics immediately on approach them; that way he can explore which women to set dates up with (or even go for the pull then and there) in ways that let him take her back to her place... instead of trying to have her commute to his.

To help him do this, I shared with him how I screen for logistics early on – and in this article, I’ll share that with you too.

One of the easiest ways to develop skill with women is cold approach, and one of the greatest progress accelerators when you go out is to talk to lots of girls.

There’s a problem with talking to lots of girls, however, and the problem is that in many guys this quickly devolves into ‘spam approaching’.

Spam sucks, and it hardly works. The good email programs are effective at keeping most spam email in your spam box. On websites, the good spam filters keep most of it out of the comments sections, but some still slips through (we probably delete about 50 spam comments every day here). Despite the filtering, deleting, and quarantining, there’s still a market for it, because it still works... sometimes.

However, the volume has to be high, and the margins are slim.

This is not a practical approach to use for meeting girls.

Nevertheless, sometimes men can fall into ‘spam approaching’ to meet their volume quotas (or simply because it’s the one thing they know to do).

There is a better way, however.

In straightforward parlance, a ‘warm-up approach’ is an approach you make to get your social gears lubricated for a day or night meeting new women.

The warm-up approach is a simple concept to get one’s head around, but a lot of men still don’t use it. It’s one of the best tools out there though for beating approach anxiety and upping the consistency of your outings.

Want an easy way to defeat your fear of talking to strange women and work up the nerve to go say hi? Warm-up approach.

How about a simple way to make your days and nights out go from a range of “sometimes they’re great” to “sometimes I don’t talk to anybody at all”, to, instead, a much more consistent “they’re almost always pretty good”? Warm-up approach.

Or, a really easy way to build social momentum early on in the night at bars, lounges, nightclubs, and parties, while making early approaches you can then capitalize on later by reopening women you met before or leveraging the preselection and social proof you built earlier to meet new girls? Warm-up approach.

The warm-up approach is a terrifically handy device for nabbing all these benefits and a bunch more... and all you’ve got to do to do so is start using it.

Comporting oneself well, removing tics, fidgets, and other nervous gestures, and giving oneself a general bearing of a man of breeding and distinction are some of the foundations of good fundamentals, no matter what identity you strive to embody.

Sometimes, you’ll have met a girl and be talking with her, or you’ll be on a date with her, and you’re at that point with things where you would (normally) move to the next step.

Only, you try to go to that next step with her, but she’s not going.

She’s not ready for the courtship or the seduction to escalate to the next stage, and, thus, refuses.

Maybe you’re having a great conversation with her at the bar, and you suggest the two of you grab seats. Nah, she says, she’s got to stay at the bar.

Perhaps you’ve had a wonderful conversation on a date with her, and you want to take her home. Only, you make the invite, and she tells you she’d rather spend some more time at the café you’re at.

Or, you’ve met this girl on the street and walked all over town with her, but she simply won’t grab food with you or accompany you anywhere else... even though it feels like she ought to be ready to.

What do you do when it’s time to escalate... but she’s not ready?

Here’s an oldie but a goodie from the bygone days of Fast Seduction: Jay’s (Formhandle’s) pre-approach invitation male approach invitation, which used the (rather exhausting) acronym ‘pAImAI’.

It’s a complicated-sounding name for a simple technique: behave in an attention-grabbing way that entices women to send you approach invitations.

If you do nightlife often, you’ll likely have started doing this one on your own already.

If you don’t, and you want to make your opening easier, you’ll probably find it useful.